Ep 33: Why He Pulls Away: The Ex-Wife Trigger You Don't Know About

Ep 33: Why He Pulls Away: The Ex-Wife Trigger You Don't Know About

What does a divorced man over 50 really need in dating, and why do so many smart, capable women keep accidentally driving him away?  In this episode, Laurie Gerber and returning guest Lisa Copeland decode the 5 things divorced men wish women over 50 knew before dating them. Using real comments from divorced men who responded to Episode 18, they cover what men over 50 really want, why women unknowingly trigger ex-wife fears, what intimacy actually means to a man who has been touch-deprived, and the communication gap that makes normal female conversation feel like an attack. This is dating after divorce advice grounded in what men actually say, not what we assume they mean. Laurie Gerber has been helping women over 50 date effectively for 20 years, and Lisa Copeland is one of the first coaches to focus exclusively on dating in midlife. Together, they bring decades of expertise to a format that sets this episode apart: the insights don't come filtered through a coaching lens alone. They come directly from divorced men who had something to say about what women keep getting wrong. If you want to attract a divorced man and stop repeating the patterns that go sideways, this conversation is worth your full attention. ⏱ TIMESTAMPS 00:00–03:33 — Intro: 5 things divorced men wish women knew.  03:33–08:41 — Accepted as is: the one thing divorced men want most.  08:41–12:01 — Trust: how women unknowingly push men away.  12:01–21:59 — The ex-wife trigger: what criticism signals to divorced men.  21:59–25:07 — What divorced men actually mean by intimacy.  25:07–30:06 — Flirting after 50: how to show real interest.  30:06–37:13 — Why divorced men need women to get to the point.  37:13–42:03 — Homework: the 3 pairs of dating glasses. 🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES Episodes mentioned in this conversation: Episode 18: 8 Things Men Really Want in a Woman Over 50 (with Lisa Copeland) https://youtu.be/XLXCOjYu36w Lisa Copeland's free resource (mentioned in this episode): The Art of Flirting After 50: How to Let a Man Know You're Interested Without Feeling Awkward, Fake, or Like You're Chasing Him 👉 https://find-a-quality-man.aweb.page/Laurie-flirting-after-50 Lisa Copeland: 🔗 https://findaqualityman.com/ More from Laurie: If you want clarity on what a healthy partnership looks like for you, I walk you through the 3H method step by step in my free 1-hour training: 👉 https://www.lauriegerber.com/webinar?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=podcast&utm_content=ep_033&utm_term=lisa_copeland Take Laurie's quiz (Are You Ready to Date Like You Mean It?) and explore all her coaching resources: 👉 https://www.lauriegerber.com?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=podcast&utm_content=ep_033&utm_term=lisa_copeland   Stay connected with Laurie: ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/ 💙 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauriegerberdatingcoach 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauriegerber 🎧 Podbean: https://lauriegerbercoach.podbean.com/ [https://lauriegerbercoach.podbean.com/]   More About Laurie: Menopause Love Lounge: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/60kJBvN1p4ZBsmEJL5rEdj⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/60kJBvN1p4ZBsmEJL5rEdj]

Ep 32: The 3 Signs He's Healed Enough to Date (And When to Walk Away)

Are you dating a divorced man over 50 and wondering if he's actually healed, or just using you as his rebound therapist? Dating a divorced man isn't just dating him. You're dating his wounds, his trust issues, his ex-wife dynamic, and sometimes his complicated relationship with his kids. It can feel like a lot,  because it is. And if you don't know what you're looking for, it's easy to end up in a relationship that drains you instead of fills you up. In this episode of Love at Any Age, Laurie Gerber sits down with Rachael Sloan, founder of Better Beyond Divorce, a coaching program that helps men heal emotionally after separation. Rachael has worked with over 600 divorced men and she knows what a healed man actually looks like before he starts dating again.  This is a rare peek behind the curtain at what men are really going through, and what women over 50 need to know to stop missing the signs. Laurie and Rachael cover the 3 green flags that tell you a divorced man is genuinely ready, the rebound relationship signs that women consistently overlook, and how to handle ex-wife drama and his kids without losing yourself in the process. If you're dating after divorce over 50, this episode will save you months of confusion. ⏱ TIMESTAMPS 00:01–01:28 — Why Dating a Divorced Man Is Different 01:28–03:08 — Meet Rachael Sloan: Inside the Divorced Men's World 03:08–06:30 — Red Flag: When He Uses Dating as Therapy 06:30–09:03 — What Divorced Men Are Really Struggling With 09:03–14:00 — Trust, Emotional Availability & What Women Miss 14:00–19:07 — Nervous System Regulation & Old Biases About Men 19:07–22:46 — The 3 Signs He's Actually Ready to Date 22:46–35:03 — Good Men, Healing Stages & Bringing Out His Best 35:03–38:44 — When His Ex Comes Back on the Scene 38:44–50:21 — His Kids, the Final Red Flag & Rachael's Free Guide 🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES Rachael Sloan's Free Download:  Emotional Stages of Divorce — A Survival Guide for Men 9 stages of the divorce grieving process, with signs for each stage and exercises to help men move through them instead of getting stuck.  https://resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/stages 👉 Find Rachael and Better Beyond Divorce at: https://www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/ Rachael's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Episode mentioned: Ep. 24 with Alison Armstrong on men, agency, and what they really need in relationships https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mflu8wn4e64   More from Laurie: If you are a man looking for help with dating, please fill out Laurie’s survey to get in touch https://lauriegerber.com/maol-men-survey If you want clarity on what a healthy partnership looks like for you, Laurie walks you through how to define what you’re looking for,  step by step in her free 75-minute training: 👉 https://www.lauriegerber.com/webinar?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=podcast&utm_content=ep_032&utm_term=rachael_sloan 🌐 Website: https://www.lauriegerber.com/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=podcast&utm_content=ep_032&utm_term=rachael_sloan   Stay connected with Laurie: ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/  👍 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauriegerberdatingcoach  💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauriegerber  🎙 Podbean: https://lauriegerbercoach.podbean.com/   More About Laurie: Menopause Love Lounge: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/60kJBvN1p4ZBsmEJL5rEdj⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/60kJBvN1p4ZBsmEJL5rEdj]

Ep 31: Monogamy Before Sex: 6 Hurdles You Need to Clear First

Are you assuming you're exclusive when you've never actually had the conversation? Most women over 50 who are dating again make this exact mistake, and the fallout is real. She stops checking other profiles. She tells her friends. She starts planning a future. And he has no idea any of that is happening. In this episode of Love at Any Age, Laurie Gerber breaks down why assuming monogamy is one of the most common and costly mistakes in dating over 50. She hands you a complete framework for handling it: assessing your own 3H readiness, clearing the 6 hurdles before sex belongs in the relationship, and following a precise 4-step checklist for actually establishing exclusivity. This episode gives you the words, the order, and the confidence to stop guessing and start choosing. Laurie helps women over 50 stop operating on assumptions and start building real, lasting love. If you're dating right now and the exclusivity conversation hasn't happened yet, this episode is not optional. ⏱ TIMESTAMPS 00:01–00:27 — Why assuming monogamy in dating is costing you.  00:28–01:32 — What today's episode covers: the full roadmap.  01:33–03:18 — Who this episode is for; Laurie's dating coaching philosophy.  03:19–05:10 — The monogamy mismatch: men assume vs. women assume.  05:11–08:10 — How to assess your 3H readiness before raising monogamy.  08:11–11:11 — Why waiting for monogamy before sex protects your heart.  11:12–20:30 — The 6 hurdles to clear before having sex with someone.  20:31–29:11 — The 4-step checklist to establish monogamy (exact words to use).  29:12–35:59 — Homework, crazy comments, and closing thoughts. 🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES Episodes mentioned in this episode: Episode 5 (how to talk about the difficult things and liabilities): https://youtu.be/qN-d5vMFdwE Episode 12 (dating profiles and what you have to offer): https://youtu.be/sawFhaAk5NQ Episode 13 (referenced in Crazy Comments): https://youtu.be/UTqyOl7K0Wc Episode 30 with Donna Barnes (attachment, chemistry, and the 6 hurdles):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLvnDQgyH5k&t=174s More from Laurie: If you want clarity on what a healthy partnership looks like for you, Laurie walks you through the 3H method step by step in her free 75-minute training: 👉 https://www.lauriegerber.com/webinar?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=podcast&utm_content=ep_031 Stay connected with Laurie: 📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/ 💙 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauriegerberdatingcoach 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauriegerber 🎧 Podbean: https://lauriegerbercoach.podbean.com/ [https://lauriegerbercoach.podbean.com/]   More About Laurie: Menopause Love Lounge: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/60kJBvN1p4ZBsmEJL5rEdj⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/60kJBvN1p4ZBsmEJL5rEdj]

Ep 30: When Is It Actually Time to Have Sex?

Are you still following the third date rule when it comes to sex, and wondering why it keeps backfiring? Most dating advice about when to have sex is either vague, outdated, or designed with someone else's agenda in mind. For women over 50, the stakes are higher. You know what heartbreak costs. You know what it feels like to override your own gut and regret it. And you deserve a clear, practical roadmap instead of a guessing game. In this episode, dating coach Laurie Gerber sits down with relationship expert and podcast host Donna Barnes to walk through the 6 questions every woman over 50 must be able to answer before sex belongs in a new relationship.  From "do I know him well enough?" to the monogamy conversation most couples skip entirely, this episode covers the real meaning of readiness and gives you a checklist you can actually use. If you've ever wondered how long to wait before sex, what healthy relationship sex actually looks like, or how to have the STI conversation without dying of awkwardness, this one is for you. ⏱ TIMESTAMPS 00:00–02:05 — The Third Date Rule: Myth vs. Reality 02:06–07:28 — Donna's 10-Date Rule and Why It Works 07:29–09:47 — Introducing Donna Barnes 09:48–18:42 — Question 1: Do I Know Him Well Enough? 18:43–20:53 — Question 2: Are We a Real Match? 20:54–26:48 — Question 3: Are My Eyes Wide Open? 26:49–31:15 — Question 4: Has Monogamy Been Defined? 31:16–35:37 — Question 5: Are We Responsible About STIs? 35:38–43:18 — Question 6: Are We Prepared for It to Go Well? 43:19–45:30 — Homework + Where to Find Donna 🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES 📖 Previously mentioned episode: Episode 6: Questions to Ask on the First Few Dates: https://youtu.be/rNcaQKJxBqA 📚 Guest Resources:  🎙 Broken to Brave Podcast (Donna Barnes)  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOy5sro7RED31krPpnsgsUx-KjcTbTHkd 🌐 https://donnabarnes.com  📺 Donna Barnes on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@DonnaBarnes/  More from Laurie: If you want clarity on what a healthy partnership looks like for you, Laurie walks you through the 3H method step by step in her free 75-minute training: 👉 https://www.lauriegerber.com/webinar?utm_source=love_at_any_age&utm_medium=youtube&utm_campaign=guest_appearance&utm_content=donna_barnes&utm_term=ep30  🌐 https://lauriegerber.com https://www.lauriegerber.com?utm_source=love_at_any_age&utm_medium=youtube&utm_campaign=guest_appearance&utm_content=donna_barnes&utm_term=ep30  Stay connected with Laurie: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauriegerberdatingcoach  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauriegerber  Podbean: https://lauriegerbercoach.podbean.com/ [https://lauriegerbercoach.podbean.com/]   More About Laurie: Menopause Love Lounge: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/60kJBvN1p4ZBsmEJL5rEdj⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/60kJBvN1p4ZBsmEJL5rEdj]

Ep 29: The 3rd Date Mistakes That Leads to Situationships

Are third date mistakes what's keeping you in situationships or almost-relationships that go nowhere? Three dates in, something real has started to form. There's history, laughter, regular texts, and a growing sense of possibility. But this is also where investment bias kicks in, where a four or five sneakily starts to feel like an eight, and where most women stop asking the questions that actually matter. By date 3, the window for a clean, clear decision is still open. At date four, it starts to close. In this episode of Love at Any Age, Laurie Gerber tackles the 3 third date mistakes that send women into situationships, wasted months, and relationships they never truly wanted. From avoiding deal-breaker conversations to skipping the monogamy discussion before getting physical to staying past date three when the signs are already there, this episode gives women the dating coach advice they need to make the right call before emotional attachment makes it harder. If you are looking for honest long-term relationship advice and real tools for dating decision-making, this one delivers. Laurie Gerber has spent more than 20 years helping women through exactly this inflection point, and she knows what investment bias costs women over 50 who are serious about finding the right match. Her 3H framework gives you a concrete, no-guesswork method for knowing whether to keep going or walk away clean. She also shares the exact conversation starters for the hardest topics, including finances, health, and monogamy, and explains why the real third date rule has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with protecting your time, your energy, and your future. ⏱ TIMESTAMPS 00:00-00:27 - Welcome and Why the 3rd Date Is the Most Important 00:27-02:00 - What Investment Bias Is and Why It Kicks In Now 02:00-03:38 - Date 3 as Your Last Clean Exit Point 03:38-07:05 - Mistake 1: Avoiding the Deal Breaker Conversations 07:05-08:30 - How to Lead with Vulnerability to Open Hard Topics 08:30-11:06 - Mistake 2: Skipping Monogamy Before Getting Physical 11:06-13:13 - Mistake 3: Staying When You Already Know It's Wrong 13:13-15:55 - The 3H Test and Your Homework Before the Next Date 🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES Episodes Mentioned:  🎙 Dating Mini-Episode Part 1 (First Date Mistakes): [insert link when available]  🎙 Dating Mini-Episode Part 2 (Second Date Mistakes): [insert link when available]  🎙 Episode 8 (How to Reject Someone with Kindness):https://youtu.be/ugW2K8_SYzw If you want clarity on what a healthy partnership looks like for you, I walk you through the 3H method step by step in my free 75-minute training:  👉 https://www.lauriegerber.com/webinar 🎓 Ready to go deeper? The Master the Art of Love digital course covers all of this from start to finish:  👉 https://www.lauriegerber.com/MAOL 🌐 Website: https://www.lauriegerber.com Stay Connected with Laurie:  ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/  👍 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauriegerberdatingcoach  💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauriegerber  🎙 Podbean: https://lauriegerbercoach.podbean.com/ [https://lauriegerbercoach.podbean.com/]   More About Laurie: Menopause Love Lounge: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/60kJBvN1p4ZBsmEJL5rEdj⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/60kJBvN1p4ZBsmEJL5rEdj]