132: The 5 Levels Of Fighting In Your Marriage: What Level Are You On?

132: The 5 Levels Of Fighting In Your Marriage: What Level Are You On?

Transform your marriage fights into opportunities for deep connection! What if every argument was a chance not just to improve, but to truly transform how you relate to your spouse? In this energizing episode, Susan Money and Evan Money break down the 5 Levels of Fighting in Marriage, inspired by Dan Tuccini’s five levels of personal growth, revealing how to move from reactive battles to meaningful breakthroughs. Hear real-life stories (blender incident, anyone?), practical tools, and the powerful question that instantly turns conflict into growth. Plus, discover why the journey to greatness is worth every step in your relationship. Timestamped Overview 00:00 Introduction & Episode Hook00:48 The Foundation: Marriages Built on Habits01:26 Shout-outs & Inspiration for the Episode02:04 Level 1 Fights: “I’m Threatened”03:00 Level 2 Fights: “I’m Different” and Taking Responsibility04:35 Susan Money’s “Room of Improvement” Analogy05:57 Level 3 Fights: “I Can Observe”06:46 Real-Life Example: The Blender Incident08:30 The Process of Staying at Level 310:47 Level 4 Fights: “I Can Understand”13:11 The Power of Understanding & Asking Quality Questions15:09 Level 5 Fights: “What Is This Fight Revealing in Me?”16:13 Improvement vs. Transformation17:38 Interrupting Patterns & Real Change18:53 Practical Tools: Calling a Timeout in Fights20:18 Why Do the Work? The Joy in the Marriage Journey22:07 Putting It into Action22:17 Closing & Where to Follow

131: Fire The Scorekeeper

Ready to supercharge your marriage? Here’s a truth that might surprise you: keeping score in your relationship could be holding you back from true greatness. In this episode, Evan Money and Susan Money reveal why it’s time to “fire the scorekeeper” in your marriage and break free from the exhausting cycle of tallying chores and favors. Discover the power of generosity without expectation, learn how everyday habits—not grand gestures—build lasting romance, and hear the heartwarming story of Gordon and Mary, a couple who redefined what it means to truly love “in sickness and in health.” Key highlights include insight on breaking the tit-for-tat mental trap, practical steps to reset your relationship habits, and the secret sauce to a marriage of greatness: giving without keeping count. Timestamped Overview: 00:00 Why you need to fire the scorekeeper in your marriage01:15 Inspiration from generosity and grace02:11 What generosity looks like when you stop keeping score04:36 Powerful story: Gordon and Mary07:31 How to reset if you've been a "love accountant"09:22 The importance of declarations in changing habits11:05 Giving without looking to gain12:07 Little habits add up—a lesson from champions15:03 Healthy relationships are built every day18:09 Practical motto for a healthy life and marriage18:16 Why demands stop the flow of love19:39 Challenge: Take action for a marriage of greatness

130: How To Remove The Root of Bitterness

What if the #1 killer of romance in your marriage isn’t what you think—but something hidden, slowly wrapping its roots around every beautiful moment? In this eye-opening episode, Susan Money and Evan Money expose how the root of bitterness quietly poisons even the best relationships—and reveal the practical, hopeful steps to dig it out for good. Packed with real-life stories, wisdom from Hebrews, and simple marriage habits that work, this episode delivers a fresh blueprint for eradicating resentment and restoring joy. If you want to replace wounds with gratitude and choose greatness together, this inspiring conversation is your guide. Episode Overview: [00:00] How to remove the root of bitterness—episode open and introductions [01:16] Welcome, shoutouts, and inspiration for the topic [02:15] Reading the foundational Hebrews passage [02:40] Breaking down "careless about God's blessings" [03:07] The challenge of giving grace in marriage [05:41] Real-life marriage example: grace vs. judgment [06:01] How bitterness takes root—and the Naomi & Ruth story [08:50] Letting go of bitterness: Civil War story & practical advice [10:06] How to spot and dig out hidden roots of bitterness [11:49] The enemy’s tool: guilt and shame [12:37] Three action steps to uproot bitterness [14:38] The power of gratitude as a cure [16:47] Why gratitude shifts the marriage environment [17:30] The danger of managing (not removing) bitterness [18:10] Great marriages are intentional—final action steps and encouragement [18:32] Outro and where to learn more

129: Healing from Infidelity - Part 2

What if the key to healing from infidelity wasn’t about “moving on” or “forgiving and forgetting”—but about changing the very story you tell about your marriage? In this powerful Part 2 episode, Susan Money and Evan Money reveal the real combination for unlocking healing, joy, and a deeper connection after betrayal. Discover why great marriages are built on habits, not hype, and how filling your partner’s love tank, rewriting your marriage story, and applying the right strategies in the right sequence can transform even the deepest wounds into powerful catalysts for growth. Learn practical ways to shift mindset, break free from limiting beliefs, and choose healing every day—plus get personal insights from Evan and Susan’s own never-ending “happily ever after.” Key Highlights: * The “3-part combination” for marital healing: State, Story, and Strategy * Why filling your mate’s love tank is a daily, evolving mission * How shifting personal stories can shatter self-imposed limitations * What Moses’s transformation teaches us about rewriting identity * Simple, concrete steps to help the healing last Episode Overview with Timestamps: 00:00 Healing from Infidelity in Your Marriage—Part Two 00:33 Welcome and focus on building great marriages through habits 01:17 Shout-outs and inspiration for today’s show 01:40 Introduction to the “right combination” for marital healing 02:15 Step 1: Filling your mate’s love tank—practical examples 03:44 Ongoing process of refining what fills your spouse’s tank 04:20 The importance of discussing and discovering love languages 05:06 Step 2: The stories we tell ourselves and our limitations 06:21 How disempowering stories keep us stuck 06:39 The story of Moses and the power of changing identity 08:45 Building your own “happily ever after” story 09:12 Writing your own marriage story rather than imitating others 10:27 Changing your personal story—weight, health, and relationships 11:19 Clearing out the old to reinforce the new story 12:04 The importance of subconscious habits and reinforcement 12:12 Step 3: Strategy—why tactics alone won’t last 13:16 Living out your new story through daily choices 14:04 Infidelity as part of the story, not the end 14:22 How fires refine rather than disqualify your marriage 14:54 Recap: Change your state, story, and strategy 15:08 Challenge: Put what you’ve learned into action 15:24 Closing and where to follow Evan and Susan

128: Healing From Infidelity

What if we told you that infidelity isn’t the real problem in your marriage—it’s just a symptom? Susan Money and Evan Money boldly challenge conventional wisdom and reveal a radically positive approach to healing from infidelity. Learn why focusing on “masking the symptom” fails, how to get to the real root cause, and the essential daily habits that can transform your relationship—whether you’re rebuilding after betrayal or simply seeking deeper connection. Key highlights include: * Why “romance doesn’t die, it loses its caretakers” * The surprising root cause behind infidelity—and how to address it * Exposing the “if, then” cycle that keeps couples stuck * The role of love languages, and how “fine-tuning the dialect” can make all the difference * The secret to real change: getting the right “combination” and sequence for marital healing * How one intentional person can start the restoration, even if both aren’t perfect * You’ll come away inspired, equipped, and ready to take action—no matter where you are on your marriage journey. Timestamped Overview [00:00:00] Healing from infidelity and opening thoughts [00:01:17] Welcoming new listeners and show inspiration [00:01:48] The shocking truth: Infidelity is a symptom, not the problem [00:04:26] Why Susan Money hesitated to speak on this topic [00:05:07] The emptiness behind infidelity and the “love tank” concept [00:06:34] For men: Breaking the victim mentality and taking full ownership [00:09:19] “What do I do now?”—The path to healing begins [00:11:06] The first number in the “combination” to unlock healing [00:13:49] Why knowing the love language isn’t enough [00:15:46] Fine-tuning love languages and real-life application [00:16:39] The “opposite test” to discover your partner’s true needs [00:17:36] Why depleted love languages confuse couples [00:19:30] Cracking the code (and why sequence matters) [00:20:19] Why there’s no hack for marriage—only intentional action [00:21:05] One imperfect person can flip the marriage script [00:21:37] Restoration habits and leading with love [00:22:04] Inspiration and encouragement to take the next step [00:23:55] Closing and where to find more resources