growing up brown: race, identity, & the in-between

re-centering: coming back to the why

After a month-long pause, I’m coming back to this space: not to start over, but to re-center. In this episode, I revisit why I started this podcast and what it’s becoming. What began as a messy, thinking-out-loud space is shifting into something more intentional: a place where lived experience, theory, and cultural observation come together to make meaning. Using ideas from DesiCrit, I reflect on displacement, invisibility, and the pressures that shape South Asian students in higher education. This is less about having answers and more about naming patterns, sitting with tension, and asking better questions about what we inherit—and what we choose to keep, revise, or unlearn. Haque, Z. (2025). Extending DesiCrit: How critical race theory helps to unpack the South Asian American educational experience. Race Ethnicity and Education. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1080/13613324.2025.2488748 [https://doi.org/10.1080/13613324.2025.2488748]

neither/nor: the formal racialization of south asians in the u.s.

Do you ever feel like we have an unique racialized experience in the U.S.? In this episode, I break down the formal racialization of South Asians in the United States: how laws, institutions, and official categories have tried to place us into fixed racial boxes. Using the DesiCrit framework, I trace how South Asians have been racially ambiguous from the beginning: sometimes treated as proximate to whiteness, sometimes pushed into non-white status, and often forced to navigate shifting classifications that don’t match lived reality. I focus on what formal categories do (and don’t) capture, and why South Asian “in-betweenness” is not a recent identity crisis, but a long-running feature of how race has been administered in the U.S. Harpalani, V. (2013). DesiCrit: Theorizing the racial ambiguity of South Asian Americans. New York University Annual Survey of American Law, 69(1), 77–184.

growing up brown: race, identity, & the in-between

What happens when you grow up navigating race, but no one ever names it? In this episode, I reflect on and theorize from the landmark study Racial Socialization Experiences Among 1.5 and 2nd Generation Indian Americans by Tummala-Narra, Inman, Kaduvettoor Davidson, and Yeh (2024). Drawing from their qualitative findings and my own lived reflections, this conversation explores how silence, achievement, and cultural pride shaped how many Indian Americans learned what race means in the United States. We unpack how 1.5- and 2nd-generation Indian Americans come to understand themselves through experiences of otherness, the pressure of the model minority myth, intra-community biases like colorism and caste, and the constant negotiation of being “Indian” in some spaces and “American” in others. This episode also examines how colonial mentality, immigration narratives, and unspoken survival strategies get passed down across generations. This is a reflective space for anyone who has lived in the in-between, carried a dual identity, or felt the emotional cost of being successful yet unseen. It’s an invitation to break the silence around race, reclaim language for our experiences, and imagine more conscious ways of being moving forward. Tummala-Narra, P., Inman, A. G., Kaduvettoor Davidson, A., & Yeh, C. J. (2024). Racial socialization experiences among 1.5 and 2nd generation Indian Americans. The Counseling Psychologist, 52(3), 410–442. https://doi.org/10.1177/00110000241226643

welcome to megu's masala mind!

This is the beginning of megu's masala mind: a space where I think out loud, mid-process. In this intro episode, I share why I started this podcast, what I’ve been sitting with in my research on South Asian students and higher education, and why I’m more interested in asking questions than draw conclusions. We talk about unlearning, inherited ways of thinking, colonized mindsets, and the cultural moments that shaped how many of us move through school, family, and community. I reflect on theorizing as a liberatory practice, why processing publicly feels important right now, and what it means to stay curious without rushing toward answers. This episode is an invitation into a messy, reflective, and deeply intentional thinking space: one rooted in South Asian life, but open to anyone who’s trying to make meaning as they go.