Shrimpless & Shameless: Menopause, Memory Loss & the Law School Reunion Survival Guide | Ep. 60

Trader Joe’s Tragedy, Toilet Trauma & The Hantavirus Apocalypse | Ep. 61

This week on MenOpod, Eliana enters her full feral menopause era after abandoning an entire Trader Joe’s haul — including ice cream and near-mythical protein pancakes that drop like Taylor Swift tickets — to melt into a warm dairy crime scene while she wandered Miami dissociating on a “quick walk.” Meanwhile, Leora questions whether brain fog is real or whether Eliana simply cannot be trusted with adult responsibilities anymore. Also discussed: public toilet trauma, pandemic hoarding instincts that never fully deactivated, hantavirus paranoia, emotional-support Xanax, adult children dismantling carefully curated “nests,” and the horrifying realization that some people voluntarily sit on public toilet seats like it’s a lifestyle choice. bar mitzvah dance-floor germ exposure and the fact that every night out is just consensual contact with a floating Petri dish. Menopause: where every day is one missed task away from a Silver Alert… and humanity is one cruise ship buffet away from another plague, again. Follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@MenOpodPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more midlife madness, menopause hacks and behind-the-scenes shenanigans Subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss the mess

Shrimpless & Shameless: Menopause, Memory Loss & the Law School Reunion Survival Guide | Ep. 60

A 30-year law school reunion means squinting at name tags, pretending everyone looks EXACTLY the same, and hearing “You haven’t changed a bit!” from people you would not recognize in a hostage lineup. Meanwhile, everyone’s comparing hormone protocols like trial strategy and casually discussing frozen shoulders, insomnia, and ungrateful children over lukewarm pinot grigio. Also: why does every rental car now require an advanced aerospace engineering degree, three tutorials, two software updates, and a husband on speakerphone just to connect an iPhone? Add in HRT brain fog, the daily casino game of “Did I already take my pills today?”, plus a massage so aggressive it felt less like self-care and more like an insurance claim, and aging starts feeling less like wisdom and more like an endurance event sponsored by Advil and confusion. But honestly? There’s something strangely comforting about a room full of formerly high achievers pretending to remember Contracts class while secretly grateful we survived law school, menopause, and adulthood in general. 👉 Follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@MenOpodPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/menopodpodcast/] for more midlife madness, menopause hacks and behind-the-scenes shenanigans 🎧 Subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss the mess

Hot Patches, Cold Husbands & Eggsplosive Rage | Ep. 59

Eliana enters her MenOparty era the only way a menopausal woman can: rage-vacuuming 40-year-old disintegrating ski pants out of the dryer at 2 a.m. while wondering if an “Alpine Divorce” is technically premeditated murder or just self-care. Between exploding hard-boiled eggs, husbands who “forget” the lettuce after a 40-minute discussion about lettuce, and mothers who lure you over with a birthday gift just to roast you like it’s a competitive sport, the girls are hanging on by an HRT patch and a prayer. This week, the sisters spiral through RFK Jr.’s missing chivalry, true-crime-fueled marriage anxiety, celebrity divorces, passive-aggressive husbands, Costco-hoarder moms, and the horrifying realization that every menopausal woman eventually needs a therapist, an accountant, a lawyer, and an alibi. Because menopause isn’t a phase. It’s a fully immersive psychological escape room… and someone keeps hiding the exit. 🎙️🔥🤣 👉 Follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@MenOpodPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/menopodpodcast/] for more midlife madness, menopause hacks and behind-the-scenes shenanigans 🎧 Subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss the mess

The Sweet Spot Between Hot Flash and Hot Mess: Eliana’s 56th MenOparty 🎉🎂😱 | Ep. 58

For her 56th birthday, Eliana is celebrating with purple cat-eye glasses, a Jane Fonda–inspired wolf cut, and a new life philosophy called “selective executive functioning” (everything gets done except the thing that matters). This week: AI flirts shamelessly with Leora like a horny life coach with perfect grammar and zero boundaries, the sisters debate whether 32 was humanity’s physical peak, take a quick tour of ex-boyfriends they definitely don’t miss, and Eliana admits she may no longer fully understand how cars—or consequences—work. Also: treadmill negligence, therapy dogs quietly replacing competent healthcare, brain fog felonies, and the unsettling realization that their husbands would absolutely remarry before the Shiva platter even arrives. Plus: rotten minivan bananas, dog saliva diplomacy, and Gen Z’s confusion about whether Kevin Bacon is a person, a snack, or a cryptocurrency. Aging is humiliating, expensive, mildly unsanitary—and still somehow easier than dating in the 1980s, so Eliana celebrates her birthday still holding it all together, just with better glasses, stronger opinions, and the steadily diminishing ability to tolerate anyone’s nonsense. 👉 Follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@MenOpodPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/menopodpodcast/] for more midlife madness, menopause hacks and behind-the-scenes shenanigans 🎧 Subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss the mess

Snake Oil, Snail Mucin & SPF: The Skincare Scam Episode With Dr. Fayne Frey | Ep. 57

Welcome to the skincare industrial complex, where your $200 cream is mostly hope in a jar and your wallet is the real anti-aging victim. Myth-busting dermatologist Dr. Fayne Frey [https://www.fryface.com/] joins us to call BS on the entire beauty aisle—from “miracle” creams to trendy ingredients present in quantities best described as decorative (hi, angel dusting). Collagen? Not happening. Those molecules are basically Mack trucks—they are not squeezing into your pores, no matter how expensive the packaging. Meanwhile, Eliana is deep in menopause brain fog, including a creative misfire with a hormone applicator, and Leora confesses to an SPF lapse that left her nephew glowing like radioactive fruit. We break down what actually works (sunscreen, Vaseline, and self-respect) and what doesn’t (most of your bathroom shelf, unfortunately). Also: your Stanley cup is not skincare, and no cream is turning you into a dewy newborn. Stop overanalyzing your pores. You’re not aging badly—you’re just being marketed to aggressively. It’s not anti-aging. It’s anti-bullsh*t. To purchase Dr Frey's book "The Skincare Hoax" [https://www.fryface.com/the-skincare-hoax] 👉 Follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@MenOpodPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/menopodpodcast/] for more midlife madness, menopause hacks and behind-the-scenes shenanigans 🎧 Subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss the mess