How to Stop Shrinking in Conversations | Build Confidence with Motivational Interviewing

Stop Explaining More

"I've explained it five different times. They keep agreeing with me but nothing changes. I don't know how to get them to buy in." If you've sent that message to a colleague, said it out loud in supervision, or thought it at 10pm on a Tuesday -- this episode is for you. Dr. Monica Gilbert makes a case that might be uncomfortable: buy-in isn't the problem. The phrase itself is. In this episode, she walks through what actually keeps parents stuck (hint: it's rarely lack of understanding), shares the story of a mom of twins whose silence was fear, not resistance, and offers three concrete shifts that change the entire dynamic of a parent coaching session -- starting with stopping what most clinicians do instinctively: explaining more. Learn more about Motivational Interviewing and explore on-demand courses at www.drmonicagilbert.com [https://drmonicagilbert.com/] Join the MI Academy [https://monica-gilbert.mykajabi.com/store] for practical training and resources — and enjoy an exclusive 15% off with code MIFORCHANGE at checkout. 📲 Connect with me on Instagram: @drmonicagilbert [https://www.instagram.com/drmonicagilbert/]

The Compliance Illusion: Why Agreement Isn’t Buy-In

Dr. Monica Gilbert posted a 60-second reel meant to teach the difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication. The response told her something else entirely. In this episode, she unpacks why so many RBTs immediately recognized themselves in an intentionally exaggerated, role-played scenario — and what that reaction reveals about psychological safety, the “compliance illusion,” and what it actually takes to get a team member to tell you the truth. Pulling from motivational interviewing, Monica breaks down why agreement isn’t buy-in, why trust functions like a thermometer, and why the strongest teams aren’t the ones where everyone agrees. Learn more about Motivational Interviewing and explore on-demand courses at www.drmonicagilbert.com [https://drmonicagilbert.com/] Join the MI Academy [https://monica-gilbert.mykajabi.com/store] for practical training and resources — and enjoy an exclusive 15% off with code MIFORCHANGE at checkout. 📲 Connect with me on Instagram: @drmonicagilbert [https://www.instagram.com/drmonicagilbert/]

Does Getting Better at ABA Parent Training Hurt Your Caseload? The Truth About Fading Services

Dr. Monica Gilbert almost didn't record this episode. Here's the question underneath it: what happens if you get so good at parent coaching that your clients need you less? What happens if families become independent faster — and services fade sooner than they used to? As clinicians, that's supposed to be the win. But if you're honest with yourself, another thought sneaks in right behind it: if families leave sooner, what happens to my caseload? My hours? My income? My business? Nobody says this out loud. Monica says it out loud in this episode — not as a teacher, but as someone who has run a practice for 16 years and felt this exact tension herself. Then she dismantles it. With 16 years of data behind her. The therapists who create the most independence don't end up with empty schedules — they end up with the busiest ones, because empowered families become the loudest referral sources in the room. This is the final episode in the 6-part arc — and it closes with Monica's complete invitation into the work she's built around everything you've heard so far. Learn more about Motivational Interviewing and explore on-demand courses at www.drmonicagilbert.com [https://drmonicagilbert.com/] Join the MI Academy [https://monica-gilbert.mykajabi.com/store] for practical training and resources — and enjoy an exclusive 15% off with code MIFORCHANGE at checkout. 📲 Connect with me on Instagram: @drmonicagilbert [https://www.instagram.com/drmonicagilbert/]

The Session Where I Said Almost Nothing — And the Parents Built the Whole Plan

Mom wanted structure and safety. Dad wanted independence and flexibility. For months they couldn't agree on anything — and the BCBA caught in the middle was running out of ways to explain, mediate, and convince. So she asked Dr. Monica Gilbert to sit in. What happened in that session wasn't a technique or a script. There was no agenda. No talking points. Monica came in with nothing — and by the end, the parents had built their own complete plan. Without being told what to do. Without being convinced of anything. Without Monica or the BCBA solving a single problem. The only thing Monica did was ask two questions. In this episode, Dr. Monica Gilbert walks through that session in real time — what she observed, why she stopped the conversation and went somewhere completely different, what she asked, and what happened when she stopped talking and let the parents find each other. It's the clearest example yet of why the goal in parent sessions isn't getting parents to agree with you. It's helping them reconnect with what already matters to them. The lesson that changes everything: > "People follow through on plans they create far more than plans they're handed." One of the biggest mistakes in parent sessions is believing your value comes from having the answers. From solving, fixing, convincing. But in that session, the less Monica tried to solve, the more movement happened. The more space she gave, the more ownership the parents took. What transformed Monica's practice wasn't learning more solutions. It was learning when not to provide them. What this is — and what it isn't: What happened in that session wasn't magic. It wasn't luck. It wasn't a personality trait. It's a skill. It can be learned. It can be practiced. And it's exactly what Monica teaches inside her Motivational Interviewing for ABA Parent Training course.  MI for ABA Parent Training — CEU-Accredited Course This course is: * CEU accredited through Crystal Minds New Beginning, approved by the BACB * Self-paced — work through it on your schedule * Designed specifically for behavior analysts who want parent sessions to feel less like persuasion and more like partnership 👉 https://monica-gilbert.mykajabi.com/new-mi-beginners Not ready for the course yet? Join the free live training. Monica is hosting a free live webinar where you'll see these conversations unfold in real time — how to evoke change talk, reduce defensiveness, and run parent sessions that actually go somewhere. 👉 Register Now  [https://mailchi.mp/9dbf531f8d61/6ckdpaak9n] If this resonated: This is episode 5 of a 6-part series. Next week Monica closes the arc with something nobody in this field wants to talk about — the ethical tension that keeps BCBAs from fully committing to this work. If getting better at parent sessions means faster progress and fading services sooner, what does that mean for your hours and your income? She names it honestly and dismantles it completely. Subscribe so you don't miss it. Learn more about Motivational Interviewing and explore on-demand courses at www.drmonicagilbert.com [https://drmonicagilbert.com/] Join the MI Academy [https://monica-gilbert.mykajabi.com/store] for practical training and resources — and enjoy an exclusive 15% off with code MIFORCHANGE at checkout. 📲 Connect with me on Instagram: @drmonicagilbert [https://www.instagram.com/drmonicagilbert/]

Why Parent Sessions Feel Awkward . How a Framework Changes Everything

Here's something almost nobody in this field says out loud. Parent sessions feel awkward. Not always. Not with every family. But often enough that you've probably rehearsed what you were going to say in the car on the way there. Often enough that you've sat across from a parent thinking what do I do if they start crying? What do I say if they push back? Do I have enough to fill this hour? Often enough that you've left those sessions feeling drained, incompetent, or convinced you said everything wrong — while assuming everyone else is walking out of their parent sessions just fine. They're not. They're coping with the same discomfort in different ways. They're just not talking about it either. In this episode, Dr. Monica Gilbert says it out loud — and then explains exactly where that feeling comes from and what to do about it. What you'll hear in this episode: * Why parent sessions feel awkward — and why it's not a personality problem * The two traps therapists fall into: too rigid or too friendly — and why both come from the same root cause * What confidence in parent sessions actually looks like (it's not charisma, extroversion, or "fake it till you make it") * The Transtheoretical Model of Change: a stage-based framework that tells you exactly where a parent is and what to do about it * Why pushback from a parent is information, not failure * How to guide instead of convince — and why that distinction changes everything about how sessions feel * The questions that open ambivalence instead of shutting it down Free Live Webinar — Coming Up [https://mailchi.mp/9dbf531f8d61/6ckdpaak9n] Monica is hosting a free live webinar where she'll model real parent sessions, show you how to evoke change talk and reduce defensiveness, and walk through the emotional accountability piece that most parent training sessions miss entirely. If this episode resonated, the webinar is the next step. If this resonated: This is episode 4 of a 6-part series. Next week Monica shares the session that changed everything — the one where she said almost nothing, asked two questions, and watched two parents build their own plan from scratch. Subscribe so you don't miss it. Learn more about Motivational Interviewing and explore on-demand courses at www.drmonicagilbert.com [https://drmonicagilbert.com/] Join the MI Academy [https://monica-gilbert.mykajabi.com/store] for practical training and resources — and enjoy an exclusive 15% off with code MIFORCHANGE at checkout. 📲 Connect with me on Instagram: @drmonicagilbert [https://www.instagram.com/drmonicagilbert/]