More Like Jesus with Len Wilson
“But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them, and on that day they will fast.” Mark 2:20 All fame, no fortune. That’s how I used to joke about my life. By 2011, I’d written books, spoken at conferences, and built a platform in the Christian influencer world. But we had four kids, and we were perpetually scraping and scrambling. Resources were always scarce. The move to Nashville in early 2011 was supposed to help. The job at the United Methodist Publishing House was prestigious, even if it didn’t pay enough. But it was better than drowning. My wife and kids stayed in Dallas to finish the school year. I moved alone to Greg Engroff’s townhouse. Then came the night of February 27, 2011, when I realized my entire life had been built on a sort of spiritual quid pro quo. I was thankful to know God was with me, but my financial troubles continued, and I saw no easy solution. I prayed for God to intervene. A few days later, I got an email from an old friend. She’d been a colleague at my first church in Ohio—the one with the screen and the dry ice, where I’d learned to use and teach on the use of new media technology in worship. Now she was working at a placement firm for church executives. “I have a position you’d be perfect for,” she wrote. “It’s a Presbyterian church in Atlanta.” I laughed it off. Presbyterian? Atlanta? I am a Methodist, I thought. I’d just moved to Nashville two months prior. My wife and kids were still in Dallas. The whole thing seemed absurd! Ridiculous. Out of pocket. I said no. Two months later, she called again. Nothing had changed—I was still in Nashville, still broke, and my family was still in Dallas. I said no again. “Are you sure?” she asked. “This really seems like you.” I said no again. It was just too different. Too much disruption. I’d barely survived the first move. A second one? Impossible. Three months later, in August, my family had arrived in Nashville, and we were getting settled in. She called a third time. “This position is really you,” she insisted. “Please consider it.” I knew enough to know that God sometimes does goofy stuff, with a wink and a smile. This seemed too goofy, though. But because she was a friend, I said, “Okay. I am going to a publishing conference in Atlanta in October, so I will take a half day and swing by the church.” I wasn’t saying yes. I was just... looking. Nine months later, we moved to Atlanta. The job offer included a substantial pay raise over my Nashville position. For the first time in a decade, we were on a sustainable financial path. We weren’t rolling in it, but it was enough. We even took a financial planning class when we arrived, learning how to make better planning decisions instead of just surviving paycheck to paycheck. God had provided. Abundantly. But not the way I expected. Not on my timeline. And definitely not through my planning. Looking back, I realize something I didn’t see at the time: the job stayed open for seven months. From March (the first call) to October (when I finally visited). Jobs don’t do that in the real world. Positions get filled. Churches move on. Candidates come and go. But this job waited. And I didn’t plan the three phone calls. I didn’t even notice the biblical pattern until years later. But there it was: Samuel hearing God’s voice three times before he understood. Jesus asking Peter three times, “Do you love me?” until Peter understood. My friend calling three times before I understood. God is persistent. God does not give up after the first no. He waits until you’re ready. I wasn’t ready in March. I was still in a scarcity mindset, still trying to control, still thinking God’s provision had to fit my plan. By October, as I write elsewhere, my new life gameplan had become to seek first. Something had shifted. Not dramatically. But enough. The job waiting for me wasn’t just about provision. It was a sign of God’s abundant patience. Back to Mark 2. Jesus says, “But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them, and on that day they will fast.” He’s foreshadowing the time between His departure and the gift of the Holy Spirit—but that’s a story for a future day. Jesus is saying: My presence is the abundance. When you’re with Me, you don’t need to strive. You don’t need to scramble or manufacture your future. You just need to stay close. Imagine a river in the parched savannah. Away from the water, life is desolate. The ground cracks. Animals struggle. Everything is survival mode—Darwinian, desperate, a constant scramble. But close to the water? Life. The animals gather. The trees grow. The earth breathes. The river doesn’t make the savannah less harsh, but proximity to the water changes everything. By 2011, I had found myself living in a desert. God’s first answer, the Nashville job, was prestigious yet insufficient. I was separated from my family. I was scraping by financially. I was emotionally exhausted. But it was an oasis, a first stop on the way to the water. The first phone call from my friend? I laughed it off. Still in the desert, still in scarcity mindset. The second call? I said no. Not ready to move toward the water. The third call? I said okay. Willing to at least consider that maybe—just maybe—God was providing. By the time we moved to Atlanta, I’d learned something profound: God’s provision doesn’t always make sense on paper. It doesn’t always fit our plans. It disrupts our sense of control. But when you stay close to Jesus—when you trust His presence instead of your planning—the river is there. Not more stuff. Not riches. Just … enough. Provision. The water you need. The full circle nature of the way God moved in my life still makes me smile. My friend from that early ministry—the place where I’d learned to create a spectacle in worship—was now the one helping me find a job where I’d learn to trust God’s provision instead of my performance. God does goofy stuff. With a wink and a smile. Here’s the truth about fasting and feasting: Fasting can be helpful, but sometimes, it’s the sort of practice that you do in the desert, when you’re striving, scrambling, and trying to get God’s attention. Feasting is what you do near the river, when you’re trusting, resting, and receiving what God provides. You’re abiding in His presence. Jesus said, “When I’m with you, you feast.” By the river, the animals gather. The trees grow. The earth breathes. You rest. Jesus speaks in layers beyond our comprehension. When He said, “The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them, and on that day they will fast,” he was foreshadowing His own death, and also revealing something profound about what life was going to be like afterward for his disciples: proximity to His presence changes everything. Scarcity mindset is living in the desert—always scrambling, never trusting there’s enough. But when you stay close to Jesus, you find the river. Not more stuff, but sufficiency. Not wealth, but provision. Not anxiety, but rest. God’s provision may seem out of pocket. It may not fit your plan. It may disrupt your sense of control. But when you’re with Him, you have what you need. Stay close to the water. That’s where the feast is. Pray Lord, I’ve been living in scarcity—hoarding, panicking, trying to control outcomes because I don’t trust Your provision. Teach me what it means to stay close to You, to trust even when Your provision seems out of pocket. Help me move from the desert to the river, from fasting to feasting, from anxiety to rest. Amen. Get full access to More Like Jesus by Len Wilson at lenwilson.substack.com/subscribe [https://lenwilson.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]
23 episodios
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