My Story: The Day I Prayed to the Devil, But Jesus Reclaimed My Soul

My Story: The Day I Prayed to the Devil, But Jesus Reclaimed My Soul

In this deeply personal and transparent episode, I open up and share in full depth my raw story about the miraculous redemption of Jesus Christ. From a very young age, I was met with immense inner turmoil and intrusive thoughts. At 13 years old, I was exposed to pornography for the first time, sparking a deep and destructive 14-year addiction. At that exact same time, I realized I was struggling with same-sex attraction—a heavy thorn in my side that I had no idea how to navigate while being told by the world that it was who I was. I open up about the darkest periods of my life, including using toxic coping mechanisms, getting married and divorced, falling back into the abyss of depression, and eventually fantasizing about ending my life. I even share the terrifying night I felt so abandoned by God that I literally prayed to and worshiped the devil. But a total rock bottom became the exact foundation I needed to finally rebuild my identity strictly on the Word of God. I want to talk about the radical difference between who I was and who I am now as an entirely new creature walking in His abundant life. What you’ll hear: Living a double life: Leadership on the outside vs. hidden darkness on the inside.  The 14-year battle with pornography addiction and same-sex attraction starting at age 13. The reality of deep inner turmoil and crying myself to sleep as a teenager. The dangerous timeline of escalation: How pornography leads straight to the gates of hell. Spiritual warfare: Facing literal demonic attacks while trying to find the light again. The blueprint to freedom: The exact morning routine and fasting structure that purged the lust from my heart. If you found yourself in my story today, please know you don't have to walk through the darkness alone. This podcast is dedicated to providing you with the community you need to find true freedom.

The Day I Tried To End My Life, But Jesus Rescued Me

In this episode, Wes shares his deeply moving, raw journey of surviving severe internal pain, isolation, and a near-fatal choice. From the outside, Wes’s life had milestone achievements—including walking on to play Division 1 college football at BYU. But internally, he was dealing with deep-seeded anger, resentment, and the trauma of growing up in a broken home. He opens up completely about the perfect storm of relationship betrayal, intense family conflict, and academic stress that drove him to a Provo Temple parking lot, where he shot himself in the chest. Wes talks about the exact millisecond reality set in, the absolute miracle of a bullet narrowly curving around his heart by just three millimeters, and the immediate internal shift that wiped away any suicidal thoughts forever. This conversation highlights a heavy reality that many of us face but rarely discuss openly: the dangerous trap of carrying a massive backpack of shame instead of leaning into the truth. Wes explains what began to change for him, how he learned to view his deepest afflictions through an eternal perspective, and why choosing to surrender your pain to Jesus Christ is the ultimate step toward true redemption and a whole new light. What you’ll hear: Navigating the underlying trauma and lack of security that comes from a broken home. The hidden danger of sacrificing your own healing trying to "rescue" someone else. An unfiltered account of Wes’s suicide attempt and the exact millisecond his perspective flipped. The medical miracle of a bullet missing his heart by three millimeters. The critical difference between life-destroying shame and constructive guilt. Why true greatness as a man is found in absolute submissiveness to Christ. If anything in this episode resonates with you, The Matt Richardson Podcast is a place to find support, tools, and guidance.

How to Parent a Child Wrestling with Same-Sex Attraction: The Blueprint of Christlike Love

Welcome back to the Matt Richardson podcast. In this episode, Matt sits down with his parents to dive into a journey marked by darkness, misery, and ultimate redemption through Jesus Christ. Growing up in a world filled with endless temptations, Matt fell deep into a wild lifestyle of substance abuse and wrestled quietly with same-sex attraction. When he finally built up the courage to tell his parents at 13 years old, he wasn't met with anger or rejection—he was met with patience, kindness, and a safe haven. In this moving conversation, Matt and his parents pull back the curtain on how they navigated those heavy years. They discuss the immense value of keeping a consistent family altar, why parents must never confuse love with eliminating God's justice, and how a parent's personal relationship with Christ can bring peace to an anxious mind.  Whether your child is currently far away from the Lord or you are looking to build an unbreakable foundation for your youth, this deeply moving, Christ-centered conversation is filled with essential wisdom for modern Christian families.  What you’ll hear: The temptations facing modern youth and Matt’s path into a wild, worldly lifestyle. A father’s perspective on holding space for his son’s confession without losing control. The absolute necessity of refusing to let mistakes or temptations define a person's eternal identity. The legacy of "Family Home Evening" and building a spiritual foundation week after week. A miraculous account of temptation instantly vanishing due to a mother's agonizing prayer in the temple. Learning to fully surrender your children's timing and free agency to the Lord.

Abuse. Addiction. Jail. Saved by Christ.

Kiaya's story is one of the most powerful we've shared on the podcast.After years of heroin addiction, abusive relationships, repeated arrests, and more than 10 incarcerations, Kiaya believed the lies that she would never change. She thought she would always be an addict.Everything changed during one moment in a jail cell.In this conversation, Kiaya shares the painful reality of addiction, surviving abuse, losing friends to overdose, and the turning point that led her to lasting recovery through Jesus Christ.If you or someone you love feels trapped by addiction, shame, or past mistakes, this episode is a reminder that no one is beyond hope.In This Episode • Growing up feeling rejected • Childhood trauma and addiction • A decade-long heroin addiction • Domestic violence and manipulation • Life in and out of jail • How identity shapes recovery • Why Jesus Christ became the center of her healing • Hope for anyone struggling with addictionIf this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who needs hope today.

From addiction and living out (or acting on) same sex attraction to redeemed by Christ

Haley lived both lives… and one nearly destroyed her. For years, Haley Burns walked a double life, faith on the outside, chaos on the inside. Same-sex attraction. Pornography. Alcohol. Shame. Suicidal thoughts. She tried everything the world said would make her feel free… but instead, she felt like her spirit was suffocating. Then one moment changed everything. This is a raw, honest conversation about identity, addiction, grief, and what it actually looks like to come back to Jesus Christ when you feel completely lost. If you’ve ever felt stuck between who you are and who you want to be… this episode is for you. Timestamps: 0:00 – The emptiness of chasing the world 1:45 – Growing up LDS but feeling different 6:00 – Same-sex attraction, secrecy, and early addiction 12:30 – Living a double life and leaving the Church 18:00 – Hitting rock bottom: loss, grief, and numbness 25:00 – The moment she surrendered to Jesus 35:00 – Life now: freedom, identity, and healing This episode is just the beginning. Over the next few months, we’ll be diving deeper into topics like sexuality, pornography, identity, and how to actually walk with Christ in a real way. Sponsored by the Stay Mentally Strong Foundation If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or suicidal thoughts, you are not alone. Learn more or get help here: https://staymentallystrong.org