17. Motherless Mothers Grief: Integrating the Woman Before and After Losing My Mother

17. Motherless Mothers Grief: Integrating the Woman Before and After Losing My Mother

In this special episode, host Nicole Weston flips the mic and is interviewed by success coach Laura May Culver, sharing her raw and unfiltered journey as a mothering motherless daughter. Nicole unpacks the complexities of her relationship with her mom, Lisa—a vibrant and nurturing woman who struggled with unresolved trauma and alcohol—who died suddenly five years ago when Nicole was 34. he episode delves into: * The Emotional Impact of Loss: Nicole describes the physical shock of her mother’s death and the subsequent two-year period defined by intense anger, rage, and shame, particularly over the belief that she failed a "soul contract" to save her mom's life. * The Path to Integration: She details the profound shift and healing that occurred about four years in, achieved through mind-body healing and integrating her identity from before her mom died and the woman she is now. * The Power of Community and Purpose: Nicole discusses how the podcast and social media community have been crucial medicine for feeling grounded and validated. Her work is now focused on helping others move stuck grief through the body, using her lived experience to cultivate hope and confidence in women navigating this journey. * Breaking Cycles: The ultimate goal of her personal work is to ensure her own children do not have to experience the level of emotional parentification or unavailability she did, embodying the "identity transformation" required to hold both sadness and love simultaneously. Nicole concludes with a message of thankfulness, forgiveness, and unconditional love for her mother, emphasizing that asking for help is one of the strongest things a person can do. Connect with Nicole: 📧 Join The Four O'Clock Club : a weekly email community sent at 4:00 PM ⁠⁠https://www.nicoleweston.ca/blog⁠⁠ [https://www.nicoleweston.ca/blog] 💻 Virtual Community Call — June 11th at 12 PM ET (free, registration required) ⁠⁠https://www.nicoleweston.ca/communitycall⁠⁠ [https://www.nicoleweston.ca/communitycall] Work with Nicole: Book a free 20 minute introductory call with Nicole    ⁠⁠https://nicoleweston.as.me/introductorycall⁠⁠ [https://nicoleweston.as.me/introductorycall] Instagram:⁠⁠ ⁠ @thenicoleweston⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenicoleweston/]

16. Motherless Mother: Finding Joy, Rage, and Spiritual Co-Creation After Loss with Kristen Brandao

In this powerful episode of Can’t Call Your Mom, Nicole sits down with Kristen to explore the complex layers of Mother’s Day grief and the transformative journey of the motherless mother. Kristen shares her deeply personal experience of repressing mother loss for seven years, wearing "armor" to stay strong, until an existential crisis on her 40th birthday cracked her wide open. Kristen’s breakthrough came through the power of writing. By leaning into curiosity, she realized that by numbing her grief, she had also blocked her capacity for joy. Through her debut memoir, Magenta Me, she moved through layers of subconscious programming and inner child work to find radical forgiveness and a new spiritual, co-creative relationship with her mother. As Kristen beautifully dedicates in her book: "For my mom. When I asked the light, it told me to write our beautiful love story. In the end, I found the light was you." * Feeling to Heal: Understanding that you must feel the pain of loss to truly experience the heights of joy. * The Spiritual Connection: Shifting from a physical absence to a spiritual presence where conversations with Mom continue through intuition and creativity. * Breaking Generational Cycles: How healing our own wounds allows us to mother our children with more presence and emotional intelligence. Kristen Brandao hit forty and flipped the script on her life. She went from a highly anxious, emotionally burned-out, over-extended healthcare practitioner, wife and mother of two to owning her story, stepping into her creative power and re-writing the narrative in her midlife memoir Magenta Me. She credits her seven-year suppression of grief after the loss of her mother to the breakdown through which she discovered the portal back to curiosity, creativity and connection to self. She endeavours to share her story vulnerably with the world to inspire others to integrate their grief.  Kristen’s Book: Magenta Me launches on June 25th. If you are in the Burlington area, join the book launch celebration at Spencer’s on the Waterfront! @kristen.brandao on Instagram  Magenta Me book launch [https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/magenta-me-a-colourful-celebration-with-a-literary-twist-tickets-1989170410244] kristenbrandao.com [http://kristenbrandao.com] Connect with Nicole: 📧 Join The Four O'Clock Club : a weekly email community sent at 4:00 PM ⁠⁠https://www.nicoleweston.ca/blog⁠⁠ [https://www.nicoleweston.ca/blog] 💻 Virtual Community Call — June 11st at 12 PM ET (free, registration required) ⁠⁠https://www.nicoleweston.ca/communitycall⁠⁠ [https://www.nicoleweston.ca/communitycall] Work with Nicole: Book a free 20 minute introductory call with Nicole    ⁠⁠https://nicoleweston.as.me/introductorycall⁠⁠ [https://nicoleweston.as.me/introductorycall] Instagram:⁠⁠ ⁠ @thenicoleweston⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenicoleweston/]

15. Healing a Complicated Mother-Daughter Relationship After Loss, Trauma Bonds, Guilt, & Grace with Karen Spiers

In this profoundly honest and deeply relatable episode, Nicole sits down with Karen to unpack the complexities of grieving a mother with whom they shared a loving—yet challenging—relationship. This is a conversation for every daughter who is navigating the duality of intense love and deep-seated trauma. Karen shares the story of her feisty Irish mother, Pat (Eithne), a woman who found 39 years of sobriety but never let go of the guilt she carried over her past struggles with alcoholism and depression. The two explore the painful journey of healing a fractured mother-daughter relationship, from the anger and lost trust of teenage years to the eventual reconciliation and fierce bond they forged before Pat's death. Nicole and Karen dive deep into: * The Power of Acceptance: Moving past the desire for your mother to be who you wanted her to be, and instead finding peace by meeting her where she was. * Understanding Trauma Bonds: An explanation of why the grief over a complicated relationship can feel so uniquely excruciating, amplifying childhood trauma and leaving you feeling "alone on an island". * The Anger of Loss: Processing the intense anger that can arise when a parent is lost to an illness tied to choices they made, and the journey to forgiving yourself for being angry. * Redefining Forgiveness: Karen’s powerful perspective that freedom comes not necessarily through the social construct of "forgiveness," but through "reconciling" with what happened and refusing to let past actions impact your self-belief. * Living in the Love Left Behind: How to find comfort and connection in a world that feels broken, channeling the life-long wisdom of a mother who taught that "We are in the grace and love of an unknown power". This episode is a must-listen for mothers who are doing the difficult work of unpacking generational trauma (even the "ugly feelings") and choosing to evolve through grief, rather than being diminished by it. If you’ve struggled to mourn a mother whose relationship was complicated, this episode offers a needed space of understanding, grace, and permission to feel it all. Connect with Nicole: 📧 Join The Four O'Clock Club : a weekly email community sent at 4:00 PM ⁠https://www.nicoleweston.ca/blog⁠ [https://www.nicoleweston.ca/blog] 💻 Virtual Community Call — May 21st at 12 PM ET (free, registration required) ⁠https://www.nicoleweston.ca/communitycall⁠ [https://www.nicoleweston.ca/communitycall] Work with Nicole: Book a free 20 minute introductory call with Nicole    ⁠https://nicoleweston.as.me/introductorycall⁠ [https://nicoleweston.as.me/introductorycall] Instagram:⁠ ⁠ @thenicoleweston⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenicoleweston/]

14. Motherless on Mother's Day: Healing Grief, Honouring Your Mom & Co-Creating a Relationship in Spirit

Show Notes: Mother's Day has passed — but the grief doesn't get a calendar. Three days after Mother's Day, host Nicole is sitting with you in the tender space that comes after the celebration fades, holding space for the complex, layered emotions of being a mom who is also missing her own. In this short but powerful episode, Nicole speaks directly to the motherless mothers who are still carrying it — the ache, the sorrow, the bittersweet joy of being celebrated while grieving the one who celebrated you. In this episode, Nicole covers: * Why Mother's Day can be exhausting and triggering for motherless mothers — and how to protect your energy in the weeks leading up to it * The body's memory of grief and why trauma brings us right back, even years later * How Nicole began co-creating a spiritual relationship with her late mom — and why this has been her most profound healing experience yet * Simple rituals to keep your connection with mom alive (candles, letters, sharing memories) * The beautiful moment her daughter asked, "Why didn't nanny just bring her phone when she died?" — and how that sparked the heart of the Can't Call Your Mom community * Why expression is one of the highest forms of healing * Reading names from the community — 2,500+ women who shared their mom's name this Mother's Day weekend Connect with Nicole: 📧 Join The Four O'Clock Club : a weekly email community sent at 4:00 PM https://www.nicoleweston.ca/blog [https://www.nicoleweston.ca/blog] 💻 Virtual Community Call — May 21st at 12 PM ET (free, registration required) https://www.nicoleweston.ca/communitycall [https://www.nicoleweston.ca/communitycall] 🌸 Can't Call Your Mom Gathering — In-person event in Barrie, ON on June 5th https://www.nicoleweston.ca/gathering [https://www.nicoleweston.ca/gathering] Work with Nicole: Book a free 20 minute introductory call with Nicole    https://nicoleweston.as.me/introductorycall [https://nicoleweston.as.me/introductorycall] Instagram: ⁠ @thenicoleweston⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenicoleweston/]

13. Mother's Day After Mother Loss: Signs, Spirit & Getting Closer to Mom After She's Gone

If the week before Mother's Day has your grief feeling heavy, this episode is for you. Host Nicole Weston sits down with Miranda (Dead Mom Therapist) and Brittany (Psychic Medium & Spiritual Mentor) for a raw conversation on honoring your dead mom, setting boundaries, and using your loss as a sacred portal to connect with your truest self and her spirit. You will leave feeling less alone, seen, and invited to choose love over loneliness on your journey. A raw and soulful conversation on honoring your dead mom, mothering yourself, and connecting with spirit on Mother's Day and beyond. * The complexity of Mother's Day when you've lost your mom, and how to set personal boundaries (especially if the loss was before you became a mother). * The practice of "microdosing your grief" and other methods for maintaining an active relationship with your mother in spirit. * How to ask for specific signs and trust that you are always connected to the person you lost (e.g., Brittany's story about the purple Jeep). * Why grief is a "portal of transformation and initiation," and the importance of integrating your shadow parts instead of trying to get rid of them. * Reparenting your inner child and having conversations with your own children to break generational trauma around grief. * Miranda and Brittany’s final messages if they could call their mothers today. Connect with our Guests:  Brittany: http://www.brittanyschmidt.ca [http://www.brittanyschmidt.ca] Miranda: http://www.mirandamalone.com [http://www.mirandamalone.com] Connect with Nicole: Register for Nicole’s free Community Call may 21 12pm ET  https://www.nicoleweston.ca/communitycall [https://www.nicoleweston.ca/communitycall] Book a free 20 minute introductory call with Nicole    https://nicoleweston.as.me/introductorycall [https://nicoleweston.as.me/introductorycall] Website: ⁠ [http://www.nicoleweston.ca]www.nicoleweston.ca⁠ Instagram: ⁠ @thenicoleweston⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenicoleweston/] Produced by Nicole Weston & Co-Produced by Hunter Blackett Photography by Heather Whitcombe⁠ [https://www.whitcombecreative.com/] If This Episode Resonated: Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this with a woman in your life who is carrying this. You know someone who lost her mom during Covid and has never had a space to talk about it. Send