#40 When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan (Part 1): Erik Ellefsen on Faith, Identity and Long-Term Illness

#41 What Actually Helps in Crisis (Part 2): Erik Ellefsen on Showing Up, Supporting Others, and Leading Well

In Part 1, Erik Ellefsen shared the deeply personal reality of living with long-term illness. In this second part, we turn outward. What does it actually look like to support someone incrisis? Not in theory - but in real life. Drawing from his 17-year journey with serious illness, Erik reflects on the people who showed up, the ones who didn’t, and the lessons that have stayed with him over time. We explore the tension many people feel, wanting to help, but not knowing how. We talk about the overlooked role of the caregiver, the importance of simple presence, and why small, thoughtful actions often matter more than big gestures. This conversation also has important implications for leaders, particularly in schools, churches, and communities. Why are we often unprepared when crisis hits? What does meaningful leadership look like in those moments And how can we create environments where people feel seen, supported, and not alone? There’s no perfect script. But there are better ways to show up and this episode will help you think differently about what that looks like. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. What support really looks like in the early stages of crisis and how it changes over time 2. Why people often step back, even when they care deeply 3. The tension between “just tell me what you need” and not having the energy to respond 4. Why caring for the caregiver is often just as important as caring for the person who is unwell 5. How simple presence can matter more than having the right words or answers 6. What leaders in schools, churches, and communities can do to better prepare for crisis 7. How looking outward and serving others can bring life, even in the middle of your own struggle About our Guest: Erik Ellefsen is an educator, leadership consultant, and trusted voice in Christian education across the United States Currently serving as Director of Networks and Improvement at Baylor University Host of the ⁠Digical Education⁠ [https://epellefsen.podbean.com/] podcast Explore More from Resilient Souls: Resilient Souls ⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://resilientsouls.com.au] Resilient Souls ⁠⁠⁠⁠Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/podcast] or search ‘Resilient Souls’ wherever you get your podcasts Resilient Souls ⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog on Substack⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ [https://resilientsouls.substack.com/] Stewart’s ⁠⁠Book⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/stewarts-book] Follow Resilient Souls on: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/stewart.bogle.resilient.souls/] / ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram /⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/stewart.bogle.resilient.souls/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewartbogle/] Get Involved or Reach Out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/] ⁠⁠Join the Community⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠Book Stewart to Speak⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/speaking] ⁠⁠⁠⁠Support the Work⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/donate] ⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact Us⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/contact] Need Help? In ⁠⁠Australia⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/get-help] or for ⁠⁠⁠⁠Overseas⁠⁠ [https://www.helpguide.org/find-help]

#40 When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan (Part 1): Erik Ellefsen on Faith, Identity and Long-Term Illness

When Erik Ellefsen was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer at just 33, he was told he may only have a couple of years to live. Seventeen years later, he’s still here. But this isn’t a story about everything working out neatly. It’s a story about learning to live in the tension between hope and uncertainty… between deep pain and unexpected purpose. In this first part of our two-part conversation, Erik takes us back to the moment everything changed. The diagnosis, what followed, and the long journey of treatment that has impacted every part of his life. We talk about what it’s like to live with ongoing illness that others can’t always see. The impact it’s had on his identity, his energy, his marriage, and the future they once imagined. More than that, we explore how Erik has wrestled with faith in the middle of it all. Not in a polished or formulaic way, but in a deeply honest and lived way. This is a conversation about resilience, faith, and learning to reimagine life when it doesn’t go the way you thought it would. In Part 2, we shift the focus outward. We explore what truly helps when someone is walking through crisis, and how we can better support them. But before we head there, this is a very personal story worth sitting with. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. What it’s really like to receive a life-altering diagnosis and the shock that follows 2. How long-term illness impacts identity, energy, and everyday life 3. The hidden tension of 'looking fine' on the outside while struggling internally 4. The grief of lost expectations, including career, family, and future plans 5. How Erik has navigated anger, disappointment, and uncertainty over time 6. A deeply honest perspective on faith, suffering, and the goodness of God 7. What it means to reimagine life when your original plans are no longer possible ..... and much more About our Guest: Erik Ellefsen is an educator, leadership consultant, and trusted voice in Christian education across the United States Currently serving as Director of Networks and Improvement at Baylor University Host of the Digical Education [https://epellefsen.podbean.com/] podcast Explore More from Resilient Souls: Resilient Souls ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠ [https://resilientsouls.com.au] Resilient Souls ⁠⁠⁠Podcast⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/podcast] or search ‘Resilient Souls’ wherever you get your podcasts Resilient Souls ⁠⁠⁠Blog on Substack⁠⁠ ⁠ [https://resilientsouls.substack.com/] Stewart’s ⁠Book⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/stewarts-book] Follow Resilient Souls on: ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/stewart.bogle.resilient.souls/] / ⁠⁠⁠Instagram /⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/stewart.bogle.resilient.souls/] ⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewartbogle/] Get Involved or Reach Out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/] ⁠Join the Community⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/] ⁠⁠⁠Book Stewart to Speak⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/speaking] ⁠⁠⁠Support the Work⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/donate] ⁠⁠⁠Contact Us⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/contact] Need Help? In ⁠Australia⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/get-help] or for ⁠⁠⁠Overseas⁠⁠ [https://www.helpguide.org/find-help]

About the ‘Collective Wisdom’ series

This episode is a little different from our usual conversations. It marks the beginning of a parallel series within the Resilient Souls podcast. In this series, we step back from individual stories to reflect on the shared wisdom that has been emerging through them. Through the podcast, I’ve had the opportunity to sit with many people who have walked through grief, trauma, illness, loss, and other deeply challenging seasons of life. Over time, something important became clear. People were offering honest reflections and practical insights shaped in the middle of their storms. Not neat answers. Not theories. Real wisdom formed through lived experience. In this short episode, I share the heart behind the new Collective Wisdom series. This work is about gathering principles from real people who have faced difficult seasons and turning those insights into practical starting points that may help others keep moving forward. It’s not about scripts or perfect responses. It’s about learning from one another and finding ways to make the journey you are on just that little bit more manageable. These reflections have grown from conversations across families, schools, churches, workplaces, and communities. They continue to shape how this series may support people in very real situations. In this brief episode, you’ll discover 1. What the Collective Wisdom series is and why it has begun 2. How lived experience can become practical guidance for others 3. Why many people feel unprepared when life suddenly becomes difficult 4. How shared insight can help individuals, families, and communities respond with greater understanding 5. Who these resources are designed to support 6. Why this is a series that will continue to grow over time Explore the Collective Wisdom Series If this introduction connects with you, you can explore more written reflections and resources through the Resilient Souls Substack [https://resilientsouls.substack.com] You may also find it helpful to listen to individual podcast conversations where much of this wisdom first emerged. Visit: resilientsouls.com.au [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/] Or search ‘Resilient Souls’ wherever you listen to podcasts

#39 Life Is Messy (Part 2): Mike Potter on What It Takes to Build a Safe & Skilled Community

In Part 1 of this important conversation, Mike Potter shared the deeply personal story behind his book Life Is Messy: Hope in Dark Places. In this second conversation, we widen the lens. How does personal suffering reshape the way we build communities? What does it look like to create environments where people don’t have to pretend to be ok okay? How do we move from good intentions to wise, practical support? Drawing from decades in education leadership, Mike reflects on how his own difficult experiences in life changed the way he leads - and how schools, churches, and communities in general can become places that are not only safe, but skilled. We talk about noticing the person behind the behaviour. We explore systems that support families in crisis. We examine what it means for leaders to say, “I’m not okay,” and how that vulnerability can help shape the culture of a community. Yes, life can be messy. But communities can learn to walk into the uncomfortable spaces, rather than avoid them. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. Why personal suffering can deepen compassion, if we allow it to 2. How a policy of 'notice and then act' can change a child’s trajectory and provide much needed support 3. What makes a community not just kind, but genuinely safe and skilled 4. Why behaviour is often a signal of something deeper 5. How multidisciplinary support can help families carrying trauma 6. The importance of leaders modelling vulnerability 7. Practical ways teachers, leaders, and community members can create safer spaces ..... and much more About the Guest: Mike Potter is a long-time educator and school leader based in Adelaide, South Australia. He is the author of Life Is Messy: Hope in Dark Places, a compassionate and honest exploration of faith, suffering, and resilience. In Part 1, Mike shared his personal breaking point. In Part 2, he reflects on how those experiences reshaped the way he leads and builds community. Mike's book, Life Is Messy: Hope in Dark Places is available from Open Book Howden [https://openbookhowden.com.au/bookstore/product/life-is-messy/] and Amazon (Kindle) [https://www.amazon.com.au/Life-Messy-HOPE-Dark-Places-ebook/dp/B081ZTCMX9] Explore More from Resilient Souls: Resilient Souls ⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ [https://resilientsouls.com.au] Resilient Souls ⁠⁠Podcast⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/podcast] or search ‘Resilient Souls’ wherever you get your podcasts Resilient Souls ⁠⁠Blog on Substack⁠⁠ [https://resilientsouls.substack.com/] Stewart’s Book⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/stewarts-book] Follow Resilient Souls on: ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/stewart.bogle.resilient.souls/] / ⁠⁠Instagram /⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/stewart.bogle.resilient.souls/] ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewartbogle/] Get Involved or Reach Out: ⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/] Join the Community⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/] ⁠⁠Book Stewart to Speak⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/speaking] ⁠⁠Support the Work⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/donate] ⁠⁠Contact Us⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/contact] Need Help? In Australia⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/get-help] or for ⁠⁠Overseas⁠⁠ [https://www.helpguide.org/find-help]

#38 Life Is Messy (Part 1): Mike Potter on Faith, Suffering, and Hope in Dark Places

In this deeply honest conversation, Stewart sits down with Mike Potter to explore the personal journey behind his book Life Is Messy: Hope in Dark Places. Mike shares how a ‘perfect storm’ of loss, leadership pressure, illness, and unresolved questions brought him to a breaking point in 2015–16. As a long-time educator and school leader, he opens up about the cost of always being strong for others, the silence of God at times in suffering, and the unhelpful myth that faith should protect us from all pain. This episode does not offer neat answers. Instead, it makes space for the real wrestle many people carry quietly. It’s a conversation about broken hearts, resilient faith, forbidden questions, and the kind of hope that can hold us when life doesn’t make sense. This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation, focusing on Mike’s personal story and inner reckoning. In Part 2, the conversation turns toward leadership, schools, and how suffering reshapes the way we live, lead and care for others. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. What happens when buried grief and unanswered questions resurface all at once 2. Why the belief that faith guarantees protection from suffering can quietly collapse under pressure 3. The ‘forbidden questions’ many people carry about prayer, healing, and fairness 4. How leadership expectations can make it harder to admit, “I’m not okay!” 5. Why silence from God can feel unbearable, and what that silence revealed over time 6. The danger of blaming suffering on ‘not enough faith’ and how damaging that can be 7. What it meant for Mike to finally say out loud that he was not coping 8. How hope can still exist even when nothing is fixed or explained … and much more. Need Support Right Now If some of this conversation resonates with where you’re at right now, you don’t have to carry that alone. Help is available. In Australia * Lifeline – click here [https://www.lifeline.org.au/] or call 13 11 14 * Mental Health Triage Service - 13 14 65 * Beyond Blue – click here [https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/suicide-prevention] * Suicide Call Back Service – click here [https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling/] or call 1300 659 467 For overseas links * Help section on the Resilient Souls website here [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/get-help] About the Guest: Mike Potter is a long-time educator, school leader, and author based in Adelaide, South Australia. He has served in education leadership for over two decades and is the author of Life Is Messy: Hope in Dark Places, a raw and compassionate exploration of faith, suffering, and resilience. Mike speaks candidly from lived experience about grief, illness, leadership pressure, and the slow work of finding hope again without denial or spiritual shortcuts. Resources & Links * Mike' s Book 'Life is Messy: Hope in Dark Places' can be purchased here [https://openbookhowden.com.au/bookstore/product/life-is-messy/] or find the eBook version here [https://www.amazon.com.au/Life-Messy-HOPE-Dark-Places-ebook/dp/B081ZTCMX9] Coming Up Next: In Part 2 of our conversation, Mike Potter reflects on how these experiences we talked about here have reshaped his leadership, particularly in schools and communities carrying unspoken grief. We explore what leaders and communities need to understand about suffering, vulnerability, and creating cultures where people are not forced to pretend they are okay. Explore More from Resilient Souls: * Resilient Souls ⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ [https://resilientsouls.com.au] * Resilient Souls ⁠⁠Podcast⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/podcast] or search ‘Resilient Souls’ wherever you get your podcasts * Resilient Souls ⁠⁠Blog on Substack⁠⁠ [https://resilientsouls.substack.com/] * Stewart’s ⁠⁠Book⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/stewarts-book] Follow Resilient Souls on: * ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/stewart.bogle.resilient.souls/] / ⁠⁠Instagram /⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/stewart.bogle.resilient.souls/] ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewartbogle/] Get Involved or Reach Out: ⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/] * Join the Community⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/] * ⁠⁠Book Stewart to Speak⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/speaking] * ⁠⁠Support the Work⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/donate] * ⁠⁠Contact Us⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/contact] Need Help? * In ⁠⁠Australia⁠⁠ [https://www.resilientsouls.com.au/get-help] or ⁠⁠Overseas⁠⁠ [https://www.helpguide.org/find-help]