"I Was a Walking Illegal Human" | Growing Up Between Botswana & South Africa

"I Was a Walking Illegal Human" | Growing Up Between Botswana & South Africa

"Who gets to decide who you are? And why do systems still shape who you are in the present?" In the first episode of our new Living the Archive series, we are revisiting one of the most significant and debated conversations from Rigour & Flow’s first year: "Are Mixed Race People Properly Black?" A year ago, this topic sparked a viral "storm." Our trailer reached hundreds of thousands, generating intense debate across social media and prompting hundreds of messages from listeners sharing their own experiences of identity, belonging and race across our social channels. But archives shouldn’t gather dust. As we enter Year 2, we are looking back to ask: What has changed, and what do these discussions mean now? Ahead of Nelson Mandela Day, Tamanda reflects on a recent return to South Africa for her postdoctoral research. An unexpected encounter with apartheid-era racial categories on university diversity monitoring forms reopened questions that have followed her since childhood. 🎙️In this episode: * The Living Archive: Why we’re revisiting our most controversial conversations * Crossing Borders: Growing up mixed race between Botswana, apartheid South Africa, and the UK * Apartheid’s Legacy: Why institutional systems still use apartheid era categories and racial scripts in 2026 * The Politics of Belonging: Deconstructing colourism, the "best of both worlds" myth, and competing ideas of Black identity * The Intimacy of Violence: The hidden impact of racism within families and intimate relationships Whether you're discovering this conversation for the first time or returning to it with us, this episode is an invitation to think differently about race; not as a fixed category but as an evolving story. 🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/wMHY_t9Z8e0 🔁 Share with someone thinking about systems, power and change  ☕ Want to support the show? Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflow [https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflow]     👓 Subscribe for more critical deep-dives into history, storytelling and public scholarship Please rate, review and subscribe for weekly episodes. Connect with us on: * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@rigourandflow] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rigourandflow] * LinkedIn [https://uk.linkedin.com/company/rigourandflow] * AiAi Studios [www.aiaistudios.com] * Roots & Rigour [www.rootsandrigour.org] This is an AiAi Studios [https://open.acast.com/networks/67d57addaaba807fb7eb365a/shows/67d57d23b3ef7ea352b50da3/www.aiaistudios.com] Production ©AiAi Studios 2025 ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

They Didn’t Just Escape. They Planned It. | The Underground Railroad & Black Resistance

How do we move beyond stories of victimhood to stories of Black ingenuity and resistance? In this special summer Feedwarmer, Aiwan and Tamanda explore the power of audio storytelling to reshape how we understand Black history and agency. Aiwan pulls back the curtain on her experience producing "Escape the Underground Railroad" - the official companion podcast to Barry Jenkins’ acclaimed Amazon Prime series. And dives deep into another experience of producing the Small Axe companion podcast, to reflect on what happens when podcasting, film and historical research come together to centre Black agency rather than passive victimhood. From a surreal first meeting with Sir Steve McQueen to being "whipped into shape" by legendary executive producer Isis Thompson, Aiwan shares the steep learning curve of bringing cinematic sound design to the podcasting world. This is a conversation about who gets to write the story, the "silly games" systems play, the responsibility of telling history well, and why we must give people their flowers while they can still smell them. 🎙️In this episode: * The Cincinnati 28: How a group of enslaved people used the ultimate "hidden in plain sight" tactic to secure their freedom. * The Power of Companion Podcasts: Why audio allows for a "deeper dive" into history than film or TV can often provide. * Working with Luminaries: Insights from collaborating with Barry Jenkins and Steve McQueen. * The "Rigour" of Academics: The challenge (and joy) of translating dense historical research into captivating, human-centric stories. * Sonic World-Building: How artists like Lex Amor are redefining the "cinematic" sound of modern podcasting. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more critical deep-dives into history, storytelling and public scholarship. ☕ Want to support the show? Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflow [https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflow]       🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts   🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/mFX1ccU9ErA   🔁 Share with someone thinking about systems, power and change    Please rate, review and subscribe for weekly episodes. Connect with us on: * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@rigourandflow] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rigourandflow] * LinkedIn [https://uk.linkedin.com/company/rigourandflow] * AiAi Studios [www.aiaistudios.com] * Roots & Rigour [www.rootsandrigour.org] This is an AiAi Studios [https://open.acast.com/networks/67d57addaaba807fb7eb365a/shows/67d57d23b3ef7ea352b50da3/www.aiaistudios.com] Production ©AiAi Studios 2025 ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

Why Do We Protect Powerful Men? | Academia, Algorithms & Sexual Violence

It happened to us right here at Rigour & Flow. One of the stories we needed to tell turned out to be the one the digital world was least willing to amplify. In this Unfinished Business episode, Aiwan and Tamanda revisit some of the most powerful conversations from our Women's History Month series and ask: What happens when the systems designed to protect people end up protecting power instead? Across marriage, the law, academia and technology, this episode explores the uncomfortable reality that the systems built to protect people can sometimes end up protecting power instead.   From debates around sex work and marital rape to the courage of survivors like Gisèle Pelicot and the disturbing rise of online "rape academies", we explore the cultures of silence that continue to shape how violence against women is understood, discussed and challenged.   We also reflect on a fascinating conversation with Washington-based researcher Olga Naidenko about academic authority, survivor knowledge and the ethics of citation. Should influential thinkers still be treated as intellectual authorities when serious allegations of harm surround them? And who gets to decide whose voices deserve to be amplified?   Along the way, we unpack the unexpected suppression of our own content by social media algorithms and what that reveals about technology, safety and the unintended consequences of platform moderation. 🎙️ In this episode:     * The Algorithm of Silence. How social media platforms unexpectedly suppressed some of our most important conversations on violence against women - and what that reveals about digital gatekeeping. * When Safety Becomes Transactional. Revisiting debates around marriage, sex work, capitalism and the blurred lines between intimacy, protection and obligation. * Gisèle Pelicot and the Switching of Shame. What happens when a survivor refuses silence, chooses public accountability, and forces society to confront its own complicity. * The "Do Not Cite" List. The ethical minefield of academia, intellectual authority and whether influential thinkers should remain untouchable when allegations of harm emerge. * The Ethics of Looking Away. Exploring the tension between protecting a cause and confronting the harm that can exist within it. * Why Do We Protect Powerful Men? Across marriage, the law, academia and technology, asking why institutions so often shield the powerful while failing the people they were designed to protect. 🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/CbNxG3UeFx8 [https://youtu.be/CbNxG3UeFx8]       🔁 Share this with someone who is tired of being dictated to by the algorithm and is ready for rigorous conversations.   ☕ Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflow [https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflow]   Please rate, review and subscribe for weekly episodes. Connect with us on: * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@rigourandflow] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rigourandflow] * LinkedIn [https://uk.linkedin.com/company/rigourandflow] * AiAi Studios [www.aiaistudios.com] * Roots & Rigour [www.rootsandrigour.org] This is an AiAi Studios [https://open.acast.com/networks/67d57addaaba807fb7eb365a/shows/67d57d23b3ef7ea352b50da3/www.aiaistudios.com] Production ©AiAi Studios 2025 ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

Daddy's Girl, Different Worlds | A Mixed-Race Daughter's Story (Tamanda's Story)

What happens when your white father, who’s your ultimate hero, has not lived your Black reality? In part two of our fatherhood series, Tamanda shares the intensely personal story of her father.   For years, he was the "encyclopaedic hero" of a "Disney-esque" childhood on a school campus in Botswana. But as the Tamanda of 11 years in age moved to the North of Ireland, the "invisible privilege" of good fatherhood met a complicated reality: a white father who, despite his love and intellectual depth, had not lived the realities of racism his Black-mixed daughter was now navigating.   In this episode, we explore the "secondary wounding" that occurs when the person who represents safety is experientially removed from the systemic oppression you face - simply on account of race or ethnicity.   We discuss the decades-long journey of taking a parent off their pedestal to meet the man beneath the hero you held so high in your heart and mind. And the humbling "once a man, twice a child" transition that emerges, when carer roles are eventually reversed, and your parent enters their twilight years.   With our lens fixed on mixed race family dynamics, we ask: Can we keep loving someone deeply while acknowledging the ways they were unequipped to see us? How do we find our own validation when it isn’t just naturally mirrored back?   🎙️ In this episode: * The Hero and The Vortex: Tamanda reflects on being the quintessential "daddy’s girl", where her every curiosity was nurtured by her father’s gentle, intellectual power. * The Gap in Lived Experience: Grasping the moment a Black-mixed child realises their white parent cannot be their compass or protector for a world they have never had to navigate. * The Pedestal vs. The Man: The "different kind of hard" that comes with processing grief for a living parent while moving from idealisation to a level of understanding and on to acceptance. * A "Soft Place to Land": How Tamanda’s stable upbringing provided a "nervous system peace" that now anchors her and Aiwan’s marriage. * Once a Man, Twice a Child: A raw look at the "privilege of giving back" through caregiving and the power of a final, imperfect validation in the twilight years. 🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/NJ1NRqh1CXA [https://youtu.be/NJ1NRqh1CXA] 🔁 Share this with someone who is navigating the "different kind of hard" that comes with taking a parent off their pedestal and learning to love the human beneath. ☕ Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflow [https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflow] Please rate, review and subscribe for weekly episodes. Connect with us on: * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@rigourandflow] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rigourandflow] * LinkedIn [https://uk.linkedin.com/company/rigourandflow] * AiAi Studios [www.aiaistudios.com] * Roots & Rigour [www.rootsandrigour.org] This is an AiAi Studios [https://open.acast.com/networks/67d57addaaba807fb7eb365a/shows/67d57d23b3ef7ea352b50da3/www.aiaistudios.com] Production ©AiAi Studios 2025 ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

“When I Called, They Never Answered” | Fathers, Faith & Disappointment

In this deeply personal episode, Aiwan shares the "three goes" she had at fatherhood and why all of them failed her.   From a biological father known only through fragments, to a step-parenting experience defined by high control religion and mushrooms growing out of tower-block walls, Aiwan and Tamanda peel back the layers of what happens when the "protector" figure is absent, abusive or conditional.   Together we dive into the complex world of Nigerian Pentecostal "Spiritual Fathers" and the moment a violent sermon in 2014 forced Aiwan to choose between her faith and her humanity. As she left home and chose homelessness to keep her self-worth intact.   But this isn't just a story of absence. It’s a conversation about reclaiming the "missing story" and redefining what it means to be meaningfully present as a parent. Aiwan describes the father she never had, the caregiver dads she imagines for the next generation, and how her own experiences shape her own thinking about raising a child herself one day.   🎙️ In this episode: * Status and Absent Fathers: How growing up fatherless on a council estate impacts a child’s sense of protection * The Myth of the Presence: Why having multiple "father figures" can sometimes feel lonelier than having none at all * The Spiritual "Daddy": The power dynamics of the Nigerian Pentecostal church and the moment Aiwan left it all behind * Breaking the Cycle: The intellectual and emotional work of building a parenting blueprint from scratch * Saluting Dope Black Dads: A celebration of the Black fathers counteracting stereotypes with "soft discipline" and intentional love   🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/6dRWI1PWnBc [https://youtu.be/6dRWI1PWnBc] 🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts 🔁 Share this episode with someone healing their inner child or a father figure who understands that presence is the greatest gift of all. ☕ Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflow [https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflow] Please rate, review and subscribe for weekly episodes. Connect with us on: * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@rigourandflow] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rigourandflow] * LinkedIn [https://uk.linkedin.com/company/rigourandflow] * AiAi Studios [www.aiaistudios.com] * Roots & Rigour [www.rootsandrigour.org] This is an AiAi Studios [https://open.acast.com/networks/67d57addaaba807fb7eb365a/shows/67d57d23b3ef7ea352b50da3/www.aiaistudios.com] Production ©AiAi Studios 2025 ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.