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Depression is Real

The mind is a complex structure. We exist as mind-body-spirit beings and often our wellness emphasis is purely on the physical body. Our minds also go through changes in health. So today, I would like to shed light on something we are all familiar with – Depression. What is depression Is feeling sad the same as being depressed? No. Not really. Feeling chronic sadness, emptiness, worthlessness, teary, and having  recurring thoughts of selfharm and not knowing exactly why you feel these emotions, are significant signs of depression. Depression is now categorised as a disease and can exist by itself or in different combinations such as Post Natal Depression (affecting new mothers), Bipolar Disorder (periods of major happiness and major sadness), Dysthymia (mild, chronic sadness existing for at least two years) and Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD (affects people during shorter, darker months in autumn and winter), to name a few. Signs and symptoms of depression often go unnoticed because our society expects people to “suck it up and keep fighting”. Most cultural and tribal customs associate mental health issues to “the devil’s work” and often blame and shame those who may be genuinely suffering and in desperate need of medical and psychological intervention. Stigma and shame are associated with anyone showing vulnerability in acknowledging weakness. Psychosomatic effect Depressive symptoms can lead to psychosomatic manifestations, meaning that the physical body will begin to show signs of disease due to the mind being unwell. These associated diseases are obesity, type-2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and other metabolic and autoimmune diseases. Physically, the body responds to these symptoms in the following way: • Loss of appetite or sometimes increased appetite (emotional eating); • Insomnia, or, for some people, too much sleep; • Loss of energy – fatigue; • Inappropriate guilt – recurring thoughts of “It’s my fault”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t matter; • Confusion or inability to make decisions – recurring thoughts of “I don’t know what to do” and • Isolation, often remaining alone in one part of the house for too long, such as extended hours in the bedroom or extended hours on the balcony watching out into space • Lack of physical movements – always preferring to lie down or sit for extended hours, or mindlessly watch TV or scroll on the device, not really engaging; • Lack of interest or pleasure in any activity; and • Inability to find joy in any situation – recurring thoughts of “Why is it always so hard for me?” Personal experience In 2009, after my brain tumour was diagnosed, I began questioning my life’s choices and began experiencing feelings of deep sadness, guilt, emptiness, a strange void, rapid weight gain due to emotional eating, and thoughts of self-harm. My GP was able to diagnose these symptoms as depression. She recommended that I seek counselling and psychological help. My daughter, who was six years old at the time, was suffering vicariously as a result of my condition. I made a conscious decision to follow my GP’s advice. I lived. In May 2012, I had my brain tumour surgery, months after escaping a 10-year violent marriage. My daughter and I started a new life. And I began a personal journey of healing and self-discovery where I had to start speaking my truth and living my truth. It was extremely difficult and most challenging to learn ways to cope the incessant mental chatter, depressive symptoms, physical health symptoms, single parenting. I had to learn how to start each day with hope, prayer, and gratitude. Soon, it became clear to me that all change occurs first at the level of thought. Thoughts affect our words, words affect our deeds. Good thoughts. Good words. Good deeds. Managing depression with your mind power Every

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NEW PODCAST  Rihlat Al-Hayat (رحلة الحياة)  Life Journey   Releasing Tuesday 13th Sep, 2022  In shaa Allah  #muslimahmindmatters #mindbodyhealinghub #selfcare #selfawareness #selflove #muslimmentalhealth #anxiety #halalhealth #princessrlakshman #thesoulspeaks #AllahRewardsEfforts #islam #muslim #forgiveness #muslimmarriage #muslimparenting #thehealingheart

Plan your marriage before you plan your wedding

You’ve met people who are preparing for their big day. Rarely do you meet people who are preparing for their actual marriage, a lifelong commitment to another human. Their focus usually is on the outfits, venue, catering, guest-list, gift registry, invitation cards, photography, and so on. People forget to ask the tough questions that later begin to frequently emerge in the marriage. This follows the usual regretful thought: I wish I had known this or that about him/her before I got married. It’s important to pause and question if you are spiritually, mentally and emotionally prepared for the days that would follow the few hours of the wedding day glitterati. The following strategies may help you and your future spouse become aware of the different facets of your commitment to each other in marriage. These strategies are for you both to do together in a halal and safe manner. * Meet with a professional counsellor, coach, or a spiritual guide, to openly discuss expectations you both have from each other in these areas: Love, Relationships, Career, Money, and Spiritual Practice. * Spend time with a mentor couple who has a solid marriage and can share their wisdom with you. * Have regular conversations to discuss these relevant topics: 1. Values – if your values are similar, you feel valued in the relationship. 2. Beliefs – if your beliefs are similar, there is less conflict. 3. Self-confidence – if there is a healthy level of self-confidence, there is no competition, rather everything becomes a collaboration. 4. Mental health – talk about anxiety and how you manage it. 5. Physical health – talk about exercise and how you can plan on incorporating that in your marriage. 6. Emotional health – talk about how you feel about the way anger, suspicion, and jealousy need to be displayed in your marriage. There is a healthy way of expressing these emotions that is constructive rather than destructive. 7. Spiritual health – talk about your Creator and share your inner-most thoughts about spirituality and how you practise Islam daily to be close to your Creator. 8. Trauma – being transparent about trauma means that you will feel safe in the marriage and not feel anxious every time there may be a trigger. Your future partner will be able to understand why you may be acting out and support you through healing from trauma. It’s okay if you don’t wish to share specific details but at least tell your future partner if “something bad happened in childhood”. > Falling in love with the person you are marrying is beautiful. Remember though that love is a verb and needs to be demonstrated through ways where you value each other, believe in each other, are collaborative in your daily life, enjoy optimal mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health, and respect each other’s trauma triggers, and help with each other’s healing.