The Light I Learned to Turn Off: A story of protection, memory, and returning to self

What If the Rupture Happened for the Relationship, Not Against It?

In this deeply raw and vulnerable episode of Selah: A Deep Pause, Laura and Tim share what they call their “third energetic divorce” - a six-day separation that forced old identities, old coping mechanisms, and buried truths to finally surface. What began as a simple disagreement unexpectedly opened the door to something much deeper: months of unspoken tension, nervous system overwhelm, adaptive childhood patterns, emotional withdrawal, and the fear of being truly seen. Together they explore: * What rupture actually reveals inside long-term relationships * The difference between separation and disillusionment * How nervous systems hold unresolved patterns * Why truth can feel threatening to connection * Masculine emotional safety and the fear of vulnerability * The danger of self-abandonment inside partnership * How relationships evolve through repeated death-and-rebirth cycles This conversation is not polished. It is not wrapped up neatly. It is two people sitting inside the ashes of what almost ended - and discovering what became possible when honesty finally arrived. If you’ve ever questioned whether a relationship can survive change, distance, truth, or transformation… this episode is an invitation to reconsider what rupture may actually be asking of us. Sometimes what feels like an ending is actually the crossing of a threshold your soul can no longer avoid.

The Trainwreck to Healing: A Man’s Journey Through Pain, Power, and Letting Go with Slade Thompson

This episode is an invitation to see beyond the surface. When you look at a man who appears strong, grounded, and unshakable…  you’re not seeing the full story. Our very special guest, Slade Thompson, shares his journey from chaos, addiction, and emotional suppression to a path of deep healing, presence, and service. In this conversation, we explore: *  The hidden pain many men carry  *  Why asking for help is the hardest… and most powerful… step  *  The difference between performing strength and actually living it  *  What healing really looks like… beyond the highlight reel  *  How transformation happens both inside and outside of ceremony  This isn’t about perfection.  It’s about honesty.  It’s about courage.  It’s about coming back to the heart. 🎧 Thank you for joining us for this episode of Selah: A Deep Pause. We hope this conversation offered you a moment to reflect, breathe, and feel seen.  🔔 Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. 💌 Connect with Us Follow us on Instagram: @SelahDeepPause [https://instagram.com/SelahDeepPause] Facebook: Facebook.com/Selah-ADeepPause [http://Facebook.com/Selah-ADeepPause]  🎙️ Host: Laura Deir 🎛️ Producer/Editor: Krissi Burdette 🎨 Artwork Credit: Mural featured in the video by E. Guenthner  🎵 Music Credit “Dreamcatcher” by Onycs  Licensed under Creative Commons (CC BY 3.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/] Artist: https://youtube.com/channel/UCNQ6vKZ5ogEZ0tM2TvxLhQA [https://youtube.com/channel/UCNQ6vKZ5ogEZ0tM2TvxLhQA] Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://youtu.be/gUgyfUIhGQc [https://youtu.be/gUgyfUIhGQc]   ⚖️ Disclaimer: The conversations in this episode reflect personal experiences and opinions. They are not intended as medical, psychological, or legal advice. Psychedelic substances are not legal in all areas and may carry risks. Always consult qualified professionals and honor your local laws and your own readiness before exploring any healing modality discussed.

The Light I Learned to Turn Off: A story of protection, memory, and returning to self

In this deeply personal episode, Laura shares a powerful realization that unfolded after a recent Wachuma journey… not during the ceremony, but in the quiet days that followed. What began as a simple, repeated vision revealed something much deeper - a moment from childhood where a part of her learned to turn off her light in order to feel safe. Together, we explore how the nervous system protects us, how childhood adaptations shape who we become… and what happens when those protective parts begin to come back online. This conversation isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about recognizing that nothing was ever broken in the first place. It was protected. And when safety returns… so can we. ✨ In this episode, we explore: * The moment Laura realized when and why she dimmed her light * How the body stores memory beyond what we consciously remember * What integration actually looks like (and why it’s not instant) * The role of safety in reconnecting with yourself * Moving from protection into agency… at your own pace This episode closes with a gentle guided reflection to help you reconnect with a younger part of yourself… and begin building safety from within. 🎧 Thank you for joining us for this episode of Selah: A Deep Pause. We hope this conversation offered you a moment to reflect, breathe, and feel seen.  🔔 Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. 💌 Connect with Us Follow us on Instagram: @SelahDeepPause [https://instagram.com/SelahDeepPause] Facebook: Facebook.com/Selah-ADeepPause [http://Facebook.com/Selah-ADeepPause]  🎙️ Host: Laura Deir 🎛️ Producer/Editor: Krissi Burdette 🎨 Artwork Credit: Mural featured in the video by E. Guenthner  🎵 Music Credit “Dreamcatcher” by Onycs  Licensed under Creative Commons (CC BY 3.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/] Artist: https://youtube.com/channel/UCNQ6vKZ5ogEZ0tM2TvxLhQA [https://youtube.com/channel/UCNQ6vKZ5ogEZ0tM2TvxLhQA] Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://youtu.be/gUgyfUIhGQc [https://youtu.be/gUgyfUIhGQc]   ⚖️ Disclaimer: The conversations in this episode reflect personal experiences and opinions. They are not intended as medical, psychological, or legal advice. Psychedelic substances are not legal in all areas and may carry risks. Always consult qualified professionals and honor your local laws and your own readiness before exploring any healing modality discussed.

This Wasn’t Release… This Was Completion

In this episode of Selah: A Deep Pause, Laura shares a deeply personal and embodied experience that unfolded over several days… one that didn’t come as a story, but as something that moved through her. What began as a physical response in her body revealed something much deeper. Not just emotion, but a somatic and relational experience tied to old wounds, generational patterns, and a level of healing that couldn’t be accessed through understanding alone. This wasn’t about analyzing what happened.  It was about allowing the body to feel, complete, and finally receive. Through moments of rupture, being held in a safe space, and unexpected guidance, Laura describes what it means to stay present instead of bypassing… and what can happen when the body is given the opportunity to finish what it started long ago. This conversation invites you to listen differently. Not for answers… but for what you notice within yourself. As you listen, you may find yourself asking: What part of me feels seen right now? What part of me is still holding something unfinished? This episode isn’t here to fix anything. It’s here to be felt. 🎧 Thank you for joining us for this episode of Selah: A Deep Pause. We hope this conversation offered you a moment to reflect, breathe, and feel seen.  🔔 Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. 💌 Connect with Us Follow us on Instagram: @SelahDeepPause [https://instagram.com/SelahDeepPause] Facebook: Facebook.com/Selah-ADeepPause [https://www.facebook.com/Selah-ADeepPause]  🎙️ Host: Laura Deir 🎛️ Producer/Editor: Krissi Burdette 🎨 Artwork Credit: Mural featured in the video by E. Guenthner  🎵 Music Credit “Dreamcatcher” by Onycs  Licensed under Creative Commons (CC BY 3.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/] Artist: https://youtube.com/channel/UCNQ6vKZ5ogEZ0tM2TvxLhQA [https://youtube.com/channel/UCNQ6vKZ5ogEZ0tM2TvxLhQA] Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://youtu.be/gUgyfUIhGQc [https://youtu.be/gUgyfUIhGQc]   ⚖️ Disclaimer: The conversations in this episode reflect personal experiences and opinions. They are not intended as medical, psychological, or legal advice. Psychedelic substances are not legal in all areas and may carry risks. Always consult qualified professionals and honor your local laws and your own readiness before exploring any healing modality discussed.

Speaking the Unspeakable: Resentment, Truth, and Radical Honesty with Jon Jennings

What happens when the things we never say begin shaping our relationships? In this episode of Selah – A Deep Pause, we sit down for a conversation with our friend, Jon Jennings, about truth, resentment, and the courage it takes to stop editing ourselves in relationships. Many of us grow up looking outside ourselves for answers. Parents, teachers, religion, and culture often tell us what we should think, feel, and believe so we can be accepted and belong. But what happens when the truth we’ve been searching for isn’t outside of us at all? Jon shares stories from his own life about learning to listen to the wisdom of the body, confronting resentment before it quietly builds, and discovering the freedom that comes from speaking what feels unspeakable. Together we explore how silence can slowly create distance in relationships, how honesty can feel risky but ultimately freeing, and why learning to recognize the signals in our bodies can lead us back to deeper connection with ourselves and others. This conversation is about the courage to speak truth, the humility to listen, and the possibility of meeting each other more fully when we stop pretending everything is fine. Take a breath. Slow down. And join us for this deep pause. GUEST Jon Jennings is a self-described solar-powered fun junkie who loves being outside and fully in his body. When he isn’t playing volleyball, pickleball, spikeball, or basketball in the sun, he’s exploring the deeper mysteries of life and spirit. A curious psychonaut, Jon is endlessly interested in the inner landscape of the human experience. His greatest teachers have been his wife of 30 years and their three children. Jon is here to live the full human experience, one day at a time. 🎧 Thank you for joining us for this episode of Selah: A Deep Pause. We hope this conversation offered you a moment to reflect, breathe, and feel seen.  🔔 Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. 💌 Connect with Us Follow us on Instagram: @SelahDeepPause [https://instagram.com/SelahDeepPause] Facebook: Facebook.com/Selah-ADeepPause [https://www.facebook.com/Selah-ADeepPause]  🎙️ Host: Laura Deir 🎛️ Producer/Editor: Krissi Burdette 🎨 Artwork Credit: Mural featured in the video by E. Guenthner  🎵 Music Credit “Dreamcatcher” by Onycs  Licensed under Creative Commons (CC BY 3.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/] Artist: https://youtube.com/channel/UCNQ6vKZ5ogEZ0tM2TvxLhQA [https://youtube.com/channel/UCNQ6vKZ5ogEZ0tM2TvxLhQA] Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://youtu.be/gUgyfUIhGQc [https://youtu.be/gUgyfUIhGQc]   ⚖️ Disclaimer: The conversations in this episode reflect personal experiences and opinions. They are not intended as medical, psychological, or legal advice. Psychedelic substances are not legal in all areas and may carry risks. Always consult qualified professionals and honor your local laws and your own readiness before exploring any healing modality discussed.