29. You Can't Outrun Pain. 14,200 Kilometres Later, She Knows. A Conversation With Brooke McIntosh

29. You Can't Outrun Pain. 14,200 Kilometres Later, She Knows. A Conversation With Brooke McIntosh

Content note: This episode talks openly about suicidal ideation, a car accident, sexual assault, eating disorders, drugs and alcohol. If any of that is close to home right now, be gentle with yourself. You don't have to listen alone, and you don't have to listen today. Lifeline 13 11 14Beyond Blue 1300 22 46361800RESPECT 1800 737 73213YARN 13 92 76 (First Nations crisis line) Brooke McIntosh ran around Australia. 14,200 kilometres. She'd never run five kilometres before she started. She didn't do it to prove she could. She did it because a marathon didn't scare her enough. She needed something that would light her up and terrify her at the same time. She needed a reason bigger than herself. We recorded this sitting on a hill at the top of her construction site, her half-built home in front of us, a mess of beauty and chaos all around. It felt right. Brooke's story is not linear. Eating disorders from age 13. Sexual assault. A relationship that fell apart. A scooter accident in Bali. And then, at 26, driving to a school to deliver a talk on confidence, she was hit by a triple semi-trailer. She stumbled out, checked on the truck driver, called the school to say she'd be 15 minutes late, and wouldn't have got in the ambulance if they hadn't forced her. That moment on the hospital bed is where everything changed. What she said that I keep coming back to: courage looks different on everyone. For some people, courage is getting out of bed. For some people, it's having one more conversation. For some people, it's running around Australia. None of it is more or less than the other. We also talked about self-trust. Collaboration over competition. What it actually looks like to not be okay in a room full of people who need you to be okay. And the moment she stood up in a room of 80 construction workers on R U OK Day, two weeks after her accident, and said I'm not okay. 20 blokes came up to her afterwards. In this episode: * Why she chose to run 1,600km before she'd ever run 5km * The car accident, the hospital bed, and the moment everything clicked * What courage actually looks like when you strip away the highlight reel * Collaboration over competition in the mental health space * Her granddad sitting on the side of the highway on day 14 of the run * Standing up in a room of 80 blokes and saying I'm not okay * You can't outrun pain. 14,200 kilometres later, she knows. Make sure you check out Brooke McIntosh: * Instagram: @brookemcintosh__ * Website: brookemcintosh.com.au You can find She's Honestly Mental everywhere you listen to podcasts. If this resonated, share it. That's how we normalise these conversations. If you're doing it tough right now, please reach out:Lifeline 13 11 14Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

28. I'm still shit scared inside even after I wrote a book on confidence - Heidi Anderson

Content note: This episode talks openly about mental health struggle, hospital admissions, thoughts of wanting to disappear or escape, childhood and sexual abuse, and drinking. If any of that is close to home right now, be gentle with yourself. You don't have to listen alone, and you don't have to listen today. Lifeline 13 11 14Beyond Blue 1300 22 46361800RESPECT 1800 737 73213YARN 13 92 76 (First Nations crisis line) Heidi Anderson is my first ever guest on She's Honestly Mental. She nearly didn't come. I nearly didn't have her. We both sat down already half-crying, both going "I might cry today," and then we just did the thing anyway. Heidi spent years on breakfast radio being the confident, outgoing girl. She wrote a book called Drunk on Confidence. She walks through shopping centres in her bra and undies because she reckons it shouldn't be a brave act to be seen in your own body. From the outside, she's the woman who has it all sorted. And here's the thing she said that I can't stop thinking about. You can write the book on confidence, live it, breathe it every single day, and still spend your whole life looking outside your own body for proof that you're doing okay. Her coach said it to her straight: you nailed the mindset, you wrote the book, but the internal confidence, it's not 100 percent there. Same, Heidi. Same. We got into all of it. The flexible mindset versus the victim mentality. Parental burnout, and the shame that turns up when your kid is struggling and some part of you decides that makes you the bad one. Why she stopped posting her son online, and the conversation with a former child detective that cracked it open. Self-trust, and how bloody hard it is to ask your husband what he thinks instead of reaching for another parenting book. The thoughts that show up in the dark, the ones where you wonder if everyone would be better off if you just disappeared for a bit. Tax bills and ASIC strike notices and perimenopause and grief. The lot. No tidy ending. No five steps. Two women on a couch being honest about being shit scared and showing up anyway. A few things Heidi said that stuck: "I'll just show up and try and do all these things, but I'm fucking shit scared inside." "It shouldn't be a brave act to be seen in your most vulnerable, in your everyday, in your body." "I'm constantly looking for confirmation outside of my body that I'm doing a good job, that I'm doing it right." She also shared the thing that's been holding her lately. Hoʻoponopono, the Hawaiian forgiveness practice. Standing in front of the mirror saying "I love you, I forgive you" for a few minutes each morning. She picked it up from Davey Rowe, a Perth coach leaning on it through his own diagnosis. Not as a fix. Just a way back into your own body when everything's loud. About Heidi: Author of Drunk on Confidence. Former breakfast radio host (Heidi, Will & Woody). Publicist. The kind of human who'll walk through a shopping centre in her undies so the rest of us feel a bit more allowed.https://www.heidileeanderson.com/ https://www.instagram.com/_heidianderson/ Mentioned in this episode:Hoʻoponopono, the Hawaiian forgiveness practice (the "I love you, I forgive you" mirror one)Davey Rowe, Perth coachChristy McVee, former child detective, on kids and online safety (the "dinner table test")Drunk on Confidence by Heidi Anderson

27. I've Been Raw-Dogging My ADHD. I Wouldn't Recommend It.

I came off my medication and thought fitness and nutrition would pick up the slack. Spoiler: it did not. This week I'm recording from a little Airbnb in Scarborough, in the city for guest episodes, and somewhere between an ASIC strike on our company, nearly bailing on the whole trip, and two strangers stopping me in Woolies to say thank you, I had to sit with something I still don't know how to do. Receive. If you've ever deflected a compliment, shrunk when someone said something kind, or felt like a complete fraud when people told you you were doing well, this one's for you. In this episode: * Why I almost got back in the car and went home * What actually happens when you try to raw-dog your ADHD * The ASIC strike, the shit news in the car, and keeping going anyway * Two strangers in Woolies who stopped me and why I still don't know what to do with that * The self-doubt spiral underneath building something real * Is the community actually going to work or am I just wasting time and money again You can find She's Honestly Mental everywhere you listen to podcasts. If this resonated, share it. That's how we normalise these conversations. If you're doing it tough right now, please reach out:Lifeline 13 11 14Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

26. When Everything Is Heavy, Look For The Glimmers.

Exhausted. Pre-cycle. Jared barely home. Desk for three days straight. This is what heavy actually looks like. And yet. There are these tiny moments. A cuddle at 3am. A blanket my Nana made that's been with me through every hospital admission. A sunset. A rainbow. Moments so small you'd miss them if you weren't looking. They're called glimmers. And they might be the most important thing nobody is talking about. This week I'm sharing what glimmers are, why they matter for your nervous system, and how I've been collecting them for six years without even knowing there was a word for it. If you're deep in the mess right now, this one is for you. In this episode: * What a glimmer actually is and why it's the opposite of a trigger * Why our nervous systems are more familiar with danger than safety * The blanket I've slept with since my first hospitalisation and why I don't care who knows it * What coming off medication has done to my thoughts and how I'm navigating that * Why the tiny moments are not small at all The book that started this conversation:Glimmers by Nadia Narain and Katia Narain PhillipsISBN 9780241739426Highly recommend. You can find She's Honestly Mental everywhere you listen to podcasts. If this resonated, share it. That's how we normalise these conversations. If you're doing it tough right now, please reach out:Lifeline 13 11 14Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

25. My Mum Rage Is Back And It's Not A Coincidence

Six weeks off Lamotrigine. Antidepressant reduced. And suddenly the version of me I thought I'd dealt with is back in the kitchen losing it over the washing. This isn't a breakdown. It's information. This week I'm talking about what actually happens to your nervous system when the medication that was holding things together starts to change. The mum rage that comes with it. The overstimulation. The guilt of feeling like you've gone backwards when actually you're just doing it without the scaffolding for the first time. And I end with a phone call that reminded me exactly why I show up every single week. If you've ever felt like you were doing so well and then something shifted and you were back to a version of yourself you didn't recognise, this one's for you. In this episode: * Six weeks off a mood stabiliser and what it's actually felt like in my body * Why mum rage isn't a character flaw, it's a capacity problem * The mental load that was always there, just quieter with medication holding it * What it looks like to start looking after yourself first, even when the family gets packet pasta * The phone call that is my whole entire why You can find She's Honestly Mental everywhere you listen to podcasts. If this resonated, share it. That's how we normalise these conversations. If you're doing it tough right now, please reach out:Lifeline 13 11 14Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636