All I Need to Do Is Stay Black and Die | The Pressure to Make Everyone Else Comfortable

All I Need to Do Is Stay Black and Die | The Pressure to Make Everyone Else Comfortable

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about something that every Black woman in a predominantly white space has felt but does not always have the language for. The invisible labor of performing palatability. The exhaustion of scanning every room. The pressure to shrink yourself, over-explain yourself, and apologize for taking up space. And the very real question of how you stay pro-Black while climbing in institutions that were not built for you. We got into: • Why as Black women our confidence is sometimes too big for the room and why that is never our problem to fix • Blake's experience at a hotel pool in Santa Monica where her group was the first to arrive and the last to be served • The invisible layers of walking into every space as a Black woman and why white people will never understand that specific tax • Emma Grede, corporate success, and the question of what parts of yourself you are expected to sacrifice to make it • How to stop apologizing, stop over-explaining, and stop tiptoeing at work when you are simply doing your job • The real question of how you stay pro-Black while climbing in institutions that do not look like you • The difference between adapting to survive and completely abandoning your identity as a Black person • Why we are the blueprint, the trendsetters, and why nothing is cool until we do it first Soft Landing: Stay true to your Blackness. Do not abandon yourself for acceptance. We are the blueprint and we are the trendsetters. Always remember that. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us about a time you had to decide between fitting in and staying true to yourself. 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

What If Changing Direction Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You?

Welcome to Season 3 of Softly Unfiltered. Formerly known as Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we're back with a new name, the same mission, and a season opener that felt only right. Because what better way to kick off a rebrand than by talking about what happens when life forces you to change direction? In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn unpack the pivots, redirections, fear, and even grief that come with letting go of the plan you thought your life was supposed to follow. Whether you're navigating a career change, ending a relationship, starting over, or simply realizing your life is taking a different path than you imagined, this conversation is for you. We got into: * Why the thing you're most afraid to leave behind is often the thing you'll be most grateful you walked away from * The difference between quitting and pivoting—and how to know which one you're actually doing * How Softly Unfiltered came to be and why we'd have continued these conversations under any name * Why you can't take advice from people who haven't done what you're trying to do—and why your life is not a democracy * The one question to ask yourself before giving up: If this became easy tomorrow, would you still want it? * How fear quietly keeps people stuck on paths they've already outgrown * Why worrying about what everyone thinks is one of the biggest things keeping women from pivoting * Real listener stories about the pivots that changed everything Soft Landing: Changing direction isn't losing yourself. Sometimes the life you're meant to live is waiting on the other side of the plan you had to let go of. If this episode resonated, we'd love to hear from you. Tell us about a pivot in your life that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. 📧 Email us: SoftlyUnfilteredpod@gmail.com [SoftlyUnfiltered@gmail.com] 📲 Follow us on all platforms: @SoftlyUnfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

Why Are Girls Low Key Weird? | The Truth About Female Friendships and Female Rivalry

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something every woman has experienced but rarely says out loud. Why do female friendships sometimes come with unspoken competition instead of pure support? Why does the energy shift the moment you start surpassing someone? They get into jealousy, passive aggression, social media as a hater detector, and what it actually means to protect your peace in friendships that have started to feel weird. We got into: • Why people clap for you as long as they feel like they're ahead of you and what happens the moment you surpass them • The difference between intent and impact and why understanding someone's insecurity doesn't excuse how they treat you • Why someone else's success can feel like a mirror reflecting what they haven't done yet • The exact moment a compliment starts to feel like a dig and why people pull away once you start glowing up • Blake's honest take on purposely posting accomplishments just to see who shows up and who stays quiet • Why social media has become the clearest sign of where you actually stand with people • The spiritual perspective on celebrating your friends' wins and why their blessing means yours is close too ✨Mantra Moment: Not everyone who smiles with you is celebrating you. People can care about you and still feel threatened by your growth. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us about the time you felt the energy shift in a friendship after you started winning. 📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

You're Not Asking for Too Much, You're Just Done Settling | Standards vs. Settling

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something a lot of women have felt but couldn't always name. The difference between being fed up and being truly done. What settling actually looks like in real life, not the dramatic version but the quiet everyday version where you're pretending you're happy and dimming your light to keep the peace. And why you were never asking for too much. You were just finally asking the right questions. We got into: * Why people stop benefiting from you when you stop playing small and why raising your standards exposes who was never enough * What the word done actually means when a woman says it and why disgust is the turning point that has no return * What settling looks like in real life including protecting him more than you protect yourself * Why the rules of this world were not built with Black women in mind and why your timeline is yours alone * The three table relationship concept and why Blake does not want to become enmeshed in a partnership * Why shame in your relationship is already the answer and the reality TV test that tells you everything * What being done settling actually means and why it has nothing to do with giving up on love Mantra Moment: Being done settling doesn't mean you're giving all hope up of love. It means you're done ignoring your intuition. If this episode resonated drop a comment and let us know what being done settling looks like for you. 📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com [SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com] 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

She Has Everything But A Man | Why a Woman's Life Is Never Allowed to Just Be Enough on Its Own

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about something that does not get said enough. Why is a woman's life never allowed to just be enough on its own? Why does a successful, accomplished, thriving single woman still get treated like she is missing something? And why is it always a man that is supposed to complete the picture? They get into the double standards, the societal pressure, the dating dynamics that come with being a high value woman, and what it actually looks like to build a full life without making love the missing piece. We got into: • Why successful single women are seen as incomplete while successful single men are called a catch • How being a high value woman makes dating harder and why men resent the same qualities they were drawn to • Why Blake said she refuses to be a single mother in a marriage and what that actually means • The woman who has everything she ever dreamed of and is still considered less valuable without a man • What Blake would do if she had a letter from God confirming her person was on the way • Why Ashlyn says stop waiting on a man to make big life decisions and build your accomplishments now • Blake's honest take on not wanting a merged life and what parallel tables actually look like in a relationshipIf this episode resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever felt like your life was not being taken seriously because you were single 📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!