Episode 030: "Whats' Next?

Episode 030: "Whats' Next?

“What’s Next?” Setting and pursuing fitness goals can be hard. But achieving them can sometimes be harder… at least, that has been my experience. I don’t mean the process or journey of the accomplishment, I mean when you have officially achieved your goal. After you're done, what’s next? This happened to me recently after being invited by James Stella [https://www.facebook.com/KaizenCrossFit?__tn__=K-R&eid=ARCjTR8VQyCaByEtbEjDMf-TSmizktOllCQYqLrxA8elBmDxGRWCS0BOvyhkn8X0fRPrsCLfMBdLMpcy&fref=mentions&__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARBWpWzd6N2MBIMceOrfPU8gXxOnHFB7g0CuSXlHfP2PsRnkL9h4rzBy2zZ_wm93EiypB6VJLHaq_qemR1pR9ahvNKXGBr-wRIUSU--8K6S81a65S7ZW0Cjc1wLWsyiIt3Yihv7yFHezEUDgIRi8G1FLYsYhB3A3cI4C_gLZ9xAAPlcFxmHOi7ylcKtgcB3rOZSC123mbreyFY6_RX5u8Qw] to participate in a 7 week challenge at Kaizen Crossfit [https://www.facebook.com/Kaizen-Crossfit-170268701493/?__tn__=K-R&eid=ARAor8rVTMuDwPg0K1jACbxZP0Ahd0bAvKL2MrRvrD-ZXx8jUobXwsmP3e5NbbV1o_8O5intD-2mANiY&fref=mentions&__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARBWpWzd6N2MBIMceOrfPU8gXxOnHFB7g0CuSXlHfP2PsRnkL9h4rzBy2zZ_wm93EiypB6VJLHaq_qemR1pR9ahvNKXGBr-wRIUSU--8K6S81a65S7ZW0Cjc1wLWsyiIt3Yihv7yFHezEUDgIRi8G1FLYsYhB3A3cI4C_gLZ9xAAPlcFxmHOi7ylcKtgcB3rOZSC123mbreyFY6_RX5u8Qw]. I have talked about this challenge before but not much since I completed it. During these 7 weeks I was diligent about my diet, exercise and mental health. On more than one occasion I respectfully declined some amazing food that was not on “the list”. By the end of the challenge I was down 17lbs, moved 3 notches on my belt and felt better than I had in years. I was even getting compliments from my new friends at the box. James also told me that if I could stick through the 7 weeks, that I wouldn’t have to do any extra running for the Ragnar I was signed up for. Well, he was right. I set personal bests on all 3 trails while shaving over 10 minutes off my overall time. But what happened after I achieved this goal? Nothing! As in, I did nothing. After I finished, I figured I could take a day off. So I did. Then that day turned into 2, then into a week and 2 months later… here I am. You might ask yourself, “if it was working so well, why did you stop?”. That is a great question! Unfortunately, I don't have a great answer. The thing that came to mind is that I don’t have a specific goal right now, just a blanket, “I’d like to be in better shape”. For me, training without a goal is hard! I know some people that can train day in and day out no problem. That’s just not me. I need a goal. Like the great Yogi Berra said… “If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up some place else"

Episode 029: "Save My Pictures"

“Save My Pictures” At the house I grew up in there were a number of my relatives that lived within walking distance. This included my Aunt Barb who lived just across the alley from us. Our front doors shared a line of sight and we’d often waive to each other as we would come and go. Aunt Barb was notorious for taking photos and would capture any moment, anytime, anywhere. Even the time she spotted Tony [https://www.facebook.com/tony.graham.142?__tn__=%2CdK-R-R&eid=ARAp4DQC0t24pgVqtb00bcjqU36SrzI3yStol4prb2iWy9WcRYbmZ573XwXcUW5iNyYK-2kiXdCrh2rW&fref=mentions], Chad [https://www.facebook.com/chad.kephart.3?__tn__=%2CdK-R-R&eid=ARARlwTTJumj0bglEI8ReIgCTvv4GvKtT-7rGf3rxOnThiwzxAZxsn7XwKqYrNEN0s1ctZ1hArv0jNwX&fref=mentions] and I cutting each others hair on the front porch when we were in high school. She yelled across the alley, “hold on, stop, I want to take a picture". If there was any chance of a photo-op… she took it. She had 1,000’s of photos in albums, scrapbooks and shoeboxes that filled an entire bedroom. On more than one occasion she's told me… “If you ever see my house on fire, the first thing I want you to do is run to the back bedroom and get all of my pictures out”. She loves her collection and taking care of them is her primary concern. My safety and well-being however… not so much. Just kidding. Thinking about this made me wonder what I would want someone to save if my house were on fire. My first thought was about material things like computers, tv’s, tablets and other electronics. Nah, they can be purchased again. Besides they are probably already outdated anyway. What about photos like Aunt Barb? Nope, not those either. The majority of our photos are safely located in “The Cloud” and can be reprinted with the click of a button. Most everything I could think of was replaceable. Maybe it wouldn’t be original but it can still be replaced. Then I thought about what I’m writing this story in. Not a fancy program, tablet, phone or even a computer. Just a plain old notebook. I have dozens of these notebooks and journals that I have been writing in for years. Mostly made up of scribbles, notes, thoughts and ideas that I have jotted down. Heck, there are even a few song lyrics in there from almost 20 years ago. The majority of their contents have never been backed up, so if they were to be lost or damaged, they would be lost forever. Just like Aunt Barb looking at her photos, when I go back and read the thoughts of my younger self I get to take a trip down memory lane and see what I was thinking “way back then”. It would be a bummer if something were to happen to them. So if you ever see my house on fire, please run in and grab my notebooks. Safety first of course!

Episode 028: “Start With Why”

“Start With Why” Simon Sinek, author of “Start With Why” and speaker of multiple “Ted Talks”, has a concept that has fascinated me since the first time I learned about it. He says, in order to be a leader you must be able to inspire, but in order to inspire, you must first know your “why”. This is easier said than done as most of us know exactly “what” we do but very few of us know “why” we do it. He explains that companies like Apple operate from a place of “why” as he repeats in one of his Ted Talks over and over again, “People don’t buy what you do they buy why you do it”. Stating that Apple doesn’t sell you what the product is capable of or it’s specifications, they sell you on the idea. The idea that Apple’s mission is to challenge the status quo and think differently. They don’t focus on “what” their products do but “why” they create them, causing people to wait in line for 6 hours to be one of the first to get the latest and greatest iPhone. Whether the iPhone or Android is better is irrelevant (they are probably very comparable) but they have created a culture of people that identify with their “why” who want to be a part of it and will go to great lengths to do so. When it comes to finding our own “why” it can be a bit more difficult. Typically when we look into jobs and careers, many times we choose “what” over “why”. How many times has someone offered or told you about a job and the first question you ask is “what does it pay?” or “what are the benefits?” Notice, both of these are “what” questions, not “why” questions. By focusing on “what”, we will continue to bounce around and look for the next shiny object, ultimately leaving us unfulfilled. But, focusing on “why” gives us purpose and inspiration while at the same time inspiring others. As I said, this is not an easy task and although I believe in the importance of finding my “why” as I would like to inspire others… I am still searching.

Episode 027: “How Can I?”

“How Can I?” I hadn’t played flag football in at least 2 years. My friend Xavier [https://www.facebook.com/xavier.antheaume?__tn__=%2CdK-R-R&eid=ARA0kCAltaJ1cMJJ1VkWgoOareprjPToaLCLz_k18HB8BXlrZcwL9trLsxrIrXeOWAxZjNshDiHRgjUU&fref=mentions], who we call "X", had me come out and play with some guys we have played with throughout the years. It was just a friendly pickup game, weekend warrior type stuff, nothing serious. The problem wasn’t just that I hadn’t played in awhile and my skills were rusty, it was the physical shape I was in. I could barely run a 15 yard route without taking the next play play off. I was at record fatness, with little to no mobility. The next day I ran into X and his wife Tiffany [https://www.facebook.com/tiffany.antheaume?__tn__=%2CdK-R-R&eid=ARDria_RkMoaQUzlokTlDN3NTW9NFi0lwUF7xFS4yXeOWQtjUxU8oKMCn5rKhOo3AkxIwVdJewYzq2EF&fref=mentions] at the grocery store and they start talking about this Ragnar trail thing then ask if I want to join their team. “A Rag…What?” I said. If you aren’t familiar with Ragnar trail it can be best described as a camping trip with 8 teammates who each run the 3 designated courses that add up to anywhere between 15-17 miles. Oh yeah… it’s 24 hours too, so you’ll most likely be running in the middle of the night with a head lamp. After they asked me to join the team, I thought to myself “Didn’t he see me play football yesterday? I barely made it through that. I can’t run that far”. I left the store thinking, “Yeah right, I’m not going to do that”. Later that night, after it had been bouncing around in my head, my curiosity got the best of me. I sent them a text, “what’s that Ragnar thing again?” We ended up on the phone, they explained in greater detail what it is. I tell them I’d let them know later. I sat there thinking about it for a minute, finally I looked in the mirror and say, “I can't, I’m in no shape for this”. So I send them a text. “I’m in!” After I hit send I have instant regret, what did I just do? “I don’t want to do this!”, “I am not a runner!” I tell myself. Ironically, that is exactly why I chose to do it. Because I didn’t want to. My logic was, if I could accomplish something I had no interest in doing, imagine what I could accomplish if it was a goal I believed in… that would be easy! Over the next 3 months I followed an app that told me when to run and how far, I followed it diligently. I ran in the heat, I ran in the rain, I ran at my daughter's soccer practice, I ran on vacation, I ran before the sun came up and after it went down, I just ran. I felt like Forrest Gump... I was runnin'. This training allowed me to finish my first Ragnar trail. Now, this weekend, I will run in my 3rd Ragnar Trail in less than a year. 15 months ago, I changed my words from “I can’t” to “how can I?” and accomplished something I never thought I’d do. Is there something you’d like to accomplish but have been afraid to try? Imagine what you’d be capable of if you stopped saying "I can't" and asked yourself… “How Can I?”

Episode 026" "Get Out Of Your Head"

“Get Out of Your Head” When attending a conference you’ll typically head to the registration table, get your lanyard, itinerary, S.W.A.G. etc. Then, you might flip through the schedule looking for classes you’d like to attend and speakers you’d like to hear. Not this one. This one, is more like MTV’s “The Real World”, so I use the term conference a bit loosely. Simply put, 30+ knowledge seekers line up at the door of a 13 bedroom mansion waiting for the starting pistol to sound signaling it’s time to make your mad dash to claim a room. If you’re lucky you’ll find a bed, otherwise it's a couch, the floor or a recliner in the theater room. In any event, everyone is happy with what they get, at least they are here. Although we we're all Real Estate agents from throughout the country and Canada, that is not why we are here, not to talk about real estate at least. We are here to learn and discuss writing styles and philosophy, storytelling, building relationships, philanthropy etc. Things we are ALL trying to get better at. We do have 4 scheduled sessions spread out over 2 days that are structured with topics that are planned ahead of time. But that isn’t the only time we learn, we learn from each other. There is non-stop brainstorming, sharing ideas and asking others for advice. However, within this group, if you ask for advice you better be ready for it, whether you like the answer or not. Responses can be uplifting or unsettling, it depends on if you are able to handle a truth you weren’t ready to accept. Just like MTV’s Real World, it’s… “When people stop being polite and start being real.” I got to experience this first hand. After the event, I was in the car with my friends Jake Edwards [https://www.facebook.com/jakeedwardsaz?__tn__=%2CdK-R-R&eid=ARBYwH2k3ZXJ1_-vICI-_DQFxnOzGKUDR5NPoH1RMJebeHD9Ts_aQndf8goId2xebAJq5xeCJ9MilrhY&fref=mentions] and Amber Flynn-Jared [https://www.facebook.com/amberflynnjared?__tn__=%2CdK-R-R&eid=ARAYZTcpR44iD8rxkvyeWOVOZ99Rf5ilh0mLcL8MuA3kbf74eU6KOO8Uf9-3J0INTycb3yTFS3rJJ89p&fref=mentions] on our to the airport. The ride was just over an hour, plenty of time to discuss what we had learned over the past 4 days. After sharing multiple discussions on many topics I started in on a new one. While AGAIN over-explaining myself and adding qualifiers to preface what I was about to say, Amber stopped me mid-sentence and said… “Get Out of Your Head” She didn’t sugar coat it, she was straight forward. It wasn’t the first time she heard me do this during the event. She knows that I want to get better, be better. She knew by allowing me to continue this pattern I wouldn’t become better. She knew giving me praise or being nice for the sake of being nice wasn’t going to do me any good. So she gave me some truth, she didn’t care about my feelings, she cared about my growth. This can be said for the entire group, we all want to grow and we all want each other to grow. When I got home friends and family asked me, “Isn’t it weird sharing a house for 4 days with people you don’t know?”. Nope! These are my people. Some I have met once, others I met for the first time but we all “get” each other and if I need a reality check, I can go to any one of them and receive an authentic response. They have my best interest in mind as I do theirs. So when one of us asks for feedback… We get it.