Reflecting, in order to move forward.

Reflecting, in order to move forward.

To be speaking about a piece of art that illustrates a transition from darkness to light… How ironic, since it’s the beginning of winter, the beginning of going deeper into darkness, instead of further into light… But I believe that whilst doing one thing, you’re almost always simultaneously doing its opposite. Like a see-saw, your present (“see”) is becoming the past (“saw”) with each changing moment. Change, or movement, is the constant. In order for you to be up, whatever is opposite to you must be down. You may have moved the see-saw upwards on your end, but you’ve simultaneously moved it downwards on the other. We may be moving from the dark into the light, but the light eventually and inevitably becomes darkness again as we continue to journey onwards… then, the light returns—waxing—and recedes back to “black”—as it wanes. The ebb and flow dance of life. Everything seems to spin on this divine axis of polarity. I’ve heard someone once call it something of “mutually arising opposites”. The light that we’re about to venture into with this podcast entry is called the fields of heart space [https://g.co/kgs/k6BYmpY]. We’ll begin examining the elements of this project (side B of my first illustration of TAOT), starting with its first track, out of breath, but still breathing. exhilaration, for a watery Sol. O, i do honour ü so. [https://g.co/kgs/ewTGMuS] Throughout its multifaceted expression of coming to life from death, we uncover * the power of honest release and full presence * the mystery and wealth of Olókun * the becoming of self after loss and then some. Let’s chat about it at xxxalkhemey.com [https://xxxalkhemey.com] Thanks for tuning into The Alkhemey Of Temptation! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit xxxalkhemey.com/subscribe [https://xxxalkhemey.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Ever mourned a fictional character that died?

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit xxxalkhemey.com [https://xxxalkhemey.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] “Something inside me had dropped away, and nothing came in to fill the cavern. There was an abnormal lightness to my body, and sounds had a hollow echo to them.” (Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood) A shedding. A release. A nakedness. A rebirth. When I think of what it means to shed, I think of there first being a covering, a veil, the putting of something over something else, a shelter, protection, a shrouding in mystery or darkness (cloaked), a sheath of some sort. There’s this element of danger to it. If you’re outside of the sheath, do you know what could truly be underneath? Even if you were to know, it could become something different beneath the surface with each passing moment. Change is but inevitable. Like a caterpillar in chrysalis, or a beetle in ecdysis… And if you’re inside of the sheath, were you ever to step outside of it, you’d be faced with the unknown as well. The ‘XXX’ — forbidden and potentially poisonous elements. Stepping outside of what shields you is synonymous to the butterfly rapturing the cocoon, the snake slithering out of its exoskeleton — your many masks that have always identified you, they begin to peel off of your body… You transition from a fluid death—submerged in the black, amniotic and ancient waters of which we come and go—to a different form, a different world, a new life. “Deep rivers run quiet.” (Haruki Murakami, Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World) My mother recently told me that when people are on the verge of death, it’s a sublimely serene experience. However painful the physical circumstances of their going is, when they finally meet the lips of the other side, the kiss is soft, the breath is lost, and it feels freeing. What temptation. Your will to live must be supremely resolute if you’re met with that sort of seduction and actively dismiss it in order to continue living your incarnation. You earn the “rebirth” that you’ll have, that go-again at life, from your masterful use of Alkhemey. (And maybe, regardless, we all earn the ultimate rebirth of death, if it’s initially as sweet as my mother says it is.) We’ll explore those thoughts and experiences in this podcast entry, through the lens of farming (yes, crops-on-land farming), the spiritual significance of the phoenix, Rasquiat’s second awakening, my personal loss of identity, and more. This entry concludes our dive into the void on empty avenue (EP - Single), for The Alkhemey Of Temptation podcast. We’re visiting the fields of heart space (EP - Single) next. To hear all 34 minutes of the Alkhemey in this entry and immerse yourself in other facets of it, enter the Land of the Unknown by becoming a paid subscriber (Elite Alkhemist [https://xxxalkhemey.com/subscribe?]). Thank you for entering my Void. Lonely here? Share it.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit xxxalkhemey.com [https://xxxalkhemey.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] Let’s explicitly talk about the correlation between personality disorders or mental illnesses, and spiritual awakenings. Well, we won’t outright sink our teeth into it just yet, not during this particular podcast entry, but I will say that when it comes to the actual, existential void that I experience, it’s very much so #7 of the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5-TR for Borderline Personality Disorder. It has less to do with anything or anyone else, it’s just this profoundly perpetual emptiness that I experience within myself — thus, in my relationships with others. Meaning that no isolated happening and no certain person can truly “trigger” my void, it’s just always there in the depths of my core, outlining everything and everybody with chalk, no matter how much I do indeed resuscitate (or intend to). “Trauma”, “triggers”, “shadow” — these words get tossed around, fiery with resolve, and oftentimes not given a chance to sit, ferment, marinate, burn, melt away into transmutation, revealing the larger framework, the metaphysical art of it all. Track two, “the wind crashing waves ashore, like pennies to a bottomless well”, of the void on empty avenue [https://g.co/kgs/4JDjDGe] was the chance I gave myself to set alight my darkness into robust flames. I let its intensive glow rest in the palms of my hands, branding through my skin, tearing open membranes, so that I could try to feel something real and try to fill my nothingness, or heal. With that said, this track illustrated the pure epitome and peak of the void for the void on empty avenue. Just as The Void On Empty Avenue in the narration of The Alkhemey Of Temptation [https://xxxalkhemey.com/] is an area that has become a sort of home for Lord Rasquiat Almighty and his àṣẹ (ah-sheh — life / death force), XXXALKHEMEY, it’s also the location where he lost his innocence, his heart, and whatever identity he was trying to make sense of or thought he’d grow to have, all due to the uncontrollable state of his àṣẹ. Essentially, he lost that sense of home — everything that made the Pines of The Void (or even his own body) feel like “home” had died. Such has once happened to me, as Rasquiat in the flesh. In this entry, I share more about that as we step further into the abysmal world that the loss of home creates. As always, only Elite Alkhemists [https://xxxalkhemey.com/subscribe?] (paid subscribers) can hear the full podcast entry and access everything else in the Land of the Unknown. If you’re an Alkhemist who hasn’t gained clearance yet, consider it. Thank you. Enjoy. And share with only the angels…

The trees hold the memories.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit xxxalkhemey.com [https://xxxalkhemey.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] The cover art for the void on empty avenue [https://g.co/kgs/z8ixoUx] EP (or Single) shows pine trees diagonally lining a clear grey sky, with a full moon centred in the sky, above the trees. This, in and of itself, is a statement of beautiful contrast between the hidden and the illuminated, the forgotten and the remembered, the buried and that which we bring to the surface for acknowledgement — between death and life. What’s more, it speaks of having, or fullness, and losing, or emptiness. For Lord Rasquiat Almighty in The Alkhemey Of Temptation, all of that translates to the loss of his childhood best friend, who was his first love, which led to the gradual loss of his inner-child. Somebody sees me, and I see myself through them. Then it’s all gone, the whole world falls apart. (Anne Sexton) So, here we are in our third entry of The Alkhemey Of Temtpation podcast, beginning to take a deeper look into that major aspect of the narrative, as well as my own personal narrative as it relates to the illustrative EP, since Lord Rasquiat is autoficitionally me. This entry is the first of (maybe) six that will detail the musings of each track from the first TAOT installation [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxsQlGILWdz7fXuFmajVzpqU8vUC3kpgg] — the void on empty avenue and the fields of heart space [https://g.co/kgs/wFGudJ2] — in that order. We’re starting off with track one from the void on empty avenue — “the leaves hid us in our innocence, wandering about with no one around”. With this one, we’ll begin to reveal connections within and between: * loss experienced in childhood and loss experienced in relationships of adulthood; * loss of identity due to loss of relationships; * loss of relationships due to loss of identity; and * loss of memory due to loss of home. As always, but especially now that we’re getting deeper into raw Alkhemey, remember that Elite Alkhemists [https://xxxalkhemey.com/subscribe?] (Paid Subscribers) get Land of the Unknown clearance — the actual 30 minutes of this entry, along with the skeleton key to the fullness of other entries, threads, archival secrets, and a free copy of the published book and/or physical album. Entries will be more rapid right now, so get ready. Thank you. And if they can keep a secret, share this entry.

Re-membering yourself as your heart’s mind reincarnated…

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit xxxalkhemey.com [https://xxxalkhemey.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] Feelings are your heart’s thoughts. What is your heart ruminating over in order to understand, or working through in order to communicate to you, when you feel angry, morose, elated, or numbingly indifferent? What does your heart remember about the last time it thought those things, and you felt that way? How did you react or respond to it? How does your heart need for you to respond to it now? Emotional intelligence. It’s an art form. A science. A study that’s more important and complex than anything that the mind’s mind can muster to fathom or articulate. In short, listen to your heart. Exercise your heart’s ability to discern, by allowing space for its thoughts to be validated, heard, and understood. That understanding, when regularly prioritised, watered, and whispered unto, will blossom into a beautiful head of wisdom. And that wisdom will make it ten times easier to know (or rather, re-member) your heart and trust it enough to wholeheartedly listen to it. To be in tune with it, to truly intuit self-love. Remembering, trusting, and listening to your heart is remembering, trusting, and listening to yourself, your inner child, your soul. It’s like a supernatural ability in and of itself. It gives you insight that’s damn near unbelievable to those who haven’t bonded with their hearts. You begin to see things, pervading time, that have always been there to be looked into, you just couldn’t see them without the eyes that are given to you by a heart that feels seen enough to trust you, to show you. That’s love. In this podcast entry, I expand upon the previous one — The Alkhemey Of Temptation: Your heart is an intellect connecting everything. — bringing forth some of the musings from my initial conversation with Lady Solána long ago. Like, losing my integrity and muffling my self-worth, in the name of what I thought was love for another, thus not having an attuned relationship with my heart. How a relationship with the heart is a direct connection to remembering who you are. How we “forget” who we are by suppressing the traumas that our hearts sustain. And there’s more divulgence regarding all of that, for my Elite Alkhemists [https://xxxalkhemey.com/epiphany] with Land of the Unknown clearance (i.e. Paid Subscribers). In our next entry, I’ll begin deconstructing the first installation of musical and visual illustrations for TAOT — the void on empty avenue (tvoea) and [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxsQlGILWdz7fXuFmajVzpqU8vUC3kpgg]the fields of heart space (tfohs). Whilst doing so, I’ll discuss some of my most personal experiences that I’ve realised I’d been burying away, and the most recent heart space awakenings I’ve been having as a direct catharsis of that realisation. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing your own experiences, wisdom, and truth. I pray you find a home within it all.