The Asian Dating Podcast
Vivek's story isn't what you'd expect. On paper, he had it all...but underneath all that? He was quietly struggling, feeling lost, fearful, and disconnected from who he really was. Through years of therapy, coaching, and serious inner work, he discovered a version of himself that was warm, magnetic, and fully present — and now he helps others do the same. He eventually connected with Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, and went from editing her book to contributing to it.What You'll Take Away From This Episode:Charisma isn't a personality trait — it's a skill. Vivek breaks it down into three pillars: Presence ("I'm here with you"), Power ("I'm competent"), and Warmth ("I'm here for you"). Most of us are strong in one or two — and the inner work is figuring out which one is missing.The two-second pause will change your dates. Instead of responding the moment someone stops talking, wait two seconds. You'll be shocked how often they keep going — sharing something deeper, something real.Connection that usually takes five dates can happen in one.Stop trying to be impressive. Make them feel impressive. Vivek shares a story from The Charisma Myth about a woman who chose the man who made her feel like the most interesting person in the room — not the man who tried hardest to impress her. That's the shift.Ask better questions. Swap "How's work?" for "What's something you could talk about for hours that you don't get to talk about much?" The emotions your questions trigger get attached to you — so make them good ones.0:00 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo] Introduction to Vivek Pandit4:00 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=240s] Living in fear and then internal work with being charismatic5:30 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=330s] Quarter midlife crisis because structure life has stopped6:46 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=406s] Presence Power and Warmth = Charisma10:12 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=612s] Meaning making machine: who are you?13:13 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=793s] Best hack for singles: “Let Them Finish”14:20 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=860s] You should wait 2 seconds before responding 18:10 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=1090s] Make the other person feel impressive in dating20:10 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=1210s] Men are always performing, can’t be themselves23:50 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=1430s] People are moving way to fast; slow down27:00 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=1620s] Ask these dating questions to associate positive thoughts with you34:20 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=2060s] Vivek’s topic he can talk about forever34:36 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=2076s] Wear something at a networking function as conversation starter37:08 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=2228s] How to be approachable: be warm…smile. It’s free.38:36 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=2316s] Here’s a secret: do the head tilt 40:00 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=2400s] Put the spotlight on herVivek Pandit is a Forbes 30 Under 30 entrepreneur, TEDx speaker, charisma coach, and founder of Quarter Life Crisis, a community helping ambitious young adults build confidence, clarity, and meaningful connection. He is also a contributor to the global bestselling book The Charisma Myth and creator of the viral “Let Them Finish” communication framework focused on presence, emotional intelligence, and magnetic conversation.Connect with Vivek:https://www.instagram.com/vivekpandit108/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/vivekpandit108/ https://www.instagram.com/quarterlifecrisis_club/ AMAZON BEST SELLER Get my book, ‘A Roadmap For Single Asian Women’ here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C9L4CT87?... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa05peXJiMGNHNFdMSGRjZkJ6ZzJzOFlXa1E3Z3xBQ3Jtc0tsQk1CYm5kZ1lxaE1IWC0ya0RHRWlWb0k0Y2xlQkc3OWxYRnhBSkJrd2UzWC1NcDVDb1lLeURwOHlkZG9qOFlEb3ZKWjRhUFhLUGluVEJWbUhsZ3N0b3RkX3FtU3ZWWkRPVEgzZ2tYYzNaOFhiVU9rbw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fdp%2FB0C9L4CT87%3Fref_%3Dcm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_FKWJGPCVXW3XG8D98EWB&v=gsEyPfe-yVo] Call May for help: (310) 867-0851Join The Best Asian Matchmaker’s Database Here: https://www.twoasianmatchmakers.com/p... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbkNqM0hCZktwQm9OVEhhb3NYenpRMjhheTJ1d3xBQ3Jtc0ttdWNPMzBpeldDX3k5b0FaOFR5anZLd1BYTm5zUThHLTc0bTNLb1hyYXRRVURrTVp3NzEtYmk0RFB2ZUdTaFc4RV9xYWJlcG5OSHk4SGNnSElUT1ZET0hNRDd2blQ0Q3pkNWNHTTFsaU9tRFNqT0E0WQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.twoasianmatchmakers.com%2Fprofile&v=gsEyPfe-yVo]Email: may@twoasianmatchmakers.comWebsite: www.twoasianmatchmakers.comFacebook Page: / twoasianmatchmakers [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbjk4TXZzUEpKMUU5ZVJxVElNZzR6X0VYNDFQQXxBQ3Jtc0ttc091NVpWdk9KcE9BMEpQc0pFTmdCenZ6RnRfbE1yWVJZYkN1SVh1ZEpGN2ZKQ2cwQmtqZXR4cW1uNGFuNTdzMXVhNEh0ZGJSb25Yc1M4Z0h6ZW5pUFZwc0xkMFpJRFFLMnB1cUVIMjNXVlB0RW9EQQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FTwoAsianMatchmakers&v=gsEyPfe-yVo]Instagram: / matchmakermay [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqazlOUlZ0TWdDcU9CVkpPcWRWRFRiM2p5cXdCZ3xBQ3Jtc0ttbVA2UlVVMG8zSktOb0h3djh4eGRtX2tScGEwNDJBRkM0Tm1ST081TUIwdndRSXlKRWZUaG5ZWjFQSUl1RDN1dlVhZnhGNU0zNTVHM05LbmRxOV9ZSktNUFAwN1JYY043aEJ5UWJhNHFRcHN4UjFqdw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Fmatchmakermay&v=gsEyPfe-yVo]Tiktok: / asianmatchmaker88 [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGdxX01zN2FOM3ZWLUxobDVRZHVZWjFvMEUwQXxBQ3Jtc0tsYnZqbE1YMlZZaGltSnhyVjQ1d1lWQ3BNSWpLSnBPR3NtU2pUSWlXaVlIQ3RlVFNiRy12OHlfOGV5WDFjSDcxbmVSeGR6d3BMLU5VUHV1N2Y5WUJlZ2RrbEgyNE1aYWZzcXFnbzVoNjlhS1ZpYzVzUQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40asianmatchmaker88&v=gsEyPfe-yVo]LinkedIn: / mayhui [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbXVtT1ZVbkdTMVVYalZYcUJJRmxhUlNoa09nZ3xBQ3Jtc0tubkpTR2tYS1UxbFcwTC1LRVZFcUxkSUVPcVhxWHNNd3JUSDhILXJHZUYxbjZ1c1Q4VmpxWFZoSWlyVWlLYWJYUHJjUnBHVklYVEFTeHFOT3V6N3dIZXA3WUlVRXVxZGJCcVlVb3lncGUyTnBNZ3AxOA&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2Fin%2Fmayhui%2F&v=gsEyPfe-yVo]ABOUT THIS PODCAST: THE ASIAN DATING PODCASTWhat does Matchmaker May Do?You know how high-net-worth men are accomplished in their careers but too busy to date? They value time more than money, yet struggle to find meaningful connection. What I do is learn who they want to attract, screen the women for them, and make the introductions—so instead of wasting time, they meet the right woman and fall in love.May is the founder of Two Asian Matchmakers, a boutique matchmaking agency.
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