Episode 31 | The Easter Postcard — And Letting Beauty In

Episode 31 | The Easter Postcard — And Letting Beauty In

A coworker handed me a postcard for an Easter service at her church. No pressure. No sermon. Just someone who felt comfortable enough with me to share something she loves. I put it in my bag and didn't think about it again until this morning. This episode follows that moment — through what I actually believe about the Bible, why I use it anyway, and why going to an Easter production doesn't threaten who I am or what I believe. I'm not Christian. I still love Christmas lights. Those two things can coexist without any contradiction. People around us are constantly sharing themselves — their faith, their joy, their invitations. What we do with that says more about our relationship with ourselves than it does about them. She felt comfortable enough to hand me that card. That matters to me regardless of whether we show up on Easter Sunday. To keep allowing beauty into your world — even when it arrives in forms you didn't expect and wouldn't have chosen — that's never a bad thing.

Sunday Stroll 04 | Manifest What, Exactly?

Someone sent me an email about a person who channels an alien. That's where this one starts. It ends with me realizing I got testy with Sharon this morning about money and forgot she walks to help her hips recover from cancer treatment. That's where it actually lands. In between those two things is the argument I've been building toward across every episode I've ever made. You did not choose your parents. You did not choose your country. You did not choose what was being installed in you on your 183rd day on this earth before you had language to name any of it. So the idea that your thoughts alone create your reality — that if you just shift your energy and align your vibration you can manifest your way out of whatever you're cycling through — runs directly into the wall of everything that was already in place before you could consent to any of it. I am not talking about concepts. I am talking about a 12-year-old boy who did not manifest sexual abuse because he was thinking his way into it. I am talking about a child getting thrown across a room who did not create that experience with his energy. Telling that person they can affirm their way out of what that did to their self-concept is not empowerment. It's revictimization with better branding. This is what the inner conversation is actually for. Not to manifest outcomes. To finally sit with yourself honestly enough to ask what's actually been running underneath all of it — and be patient and kind enough with yourself to hear the answer without losing your mind. Sharon walks in the mornings. I knew that. I forgot it anyway because I was wound up about money. That's not a failure of my methodology. That's the methodology showing me exactly where the work still lives.

Episode 30 | Tidying Up — And Why Bother

I almost didn't post this one. I was tired when I recorded it. Emotionally exhausted. Hadn't planned on recording at all — just followed a thought about cleaning up my desk before making a video and ended up behind the microphone anyway. It's a quieter episode. The thinking is real but the energy isn't where it usually is and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. I added an introduction using my Blue Yeti because I didn't want to walk across the room and set up the main rig. It was 94 degrees in St. Louis today and the dewpoint was something ungodly. Some days you show up and you're not at your peak. This is one of those days. Still worth your time if you've ever asked yourself why you spend so much energy presenting a version of yourself you think others will accept instead of just being the one you actually are.

Episode 29 | AirPod Down — And Why That Actually Matters

I lost an AirPod yesterday. One of the ones I paid real money for. Probably fell out of my pocket somewhere between the car and the grocery store. And here's what happened next — not much. A few minutes of mild frustration. A quiet internal conversation about where it might be. And then I moved on and went to make dinner with my wife. That's the whole story. Except it isn't, because I remember very clearly when losing something that small would have triggered a full day of self-punishment. The inner list of every time I've screwed up. The proof that I'm careless, disorganized, a piece of shit in general. The domino effect that would color everything that came after it for hours. None of that happened. And I stopped in the middle of my apartment and noticed that. Really noticed it. This episode is about that moment — not the AirPod, but what its absence revealed about how far the internal work has actually come. Not in a dramatic way. In the quietest possible way. Which turns out to be the most honest measurement there is.

Episode 28 | The F Word — Who Decides The Value

Someone wanted me to come speak to their people. Real opportunity. Real money. One condition — no F-word. I said I couldn't promise that. They said thanks anyway. And I've been thinking about that moment ever since. Not with regret. With clarity. Because here's the actual question underneath all of it — who decides what gives your expression value? The organization that sets the terms? The audience that needs you to be palatable? The version of yourself that knows how to play it safe until you're in a position where you can finally be real? I've covered my tattoos for employers. I've said what partners needed to hear. I've done the disingenuous dance more times than I can count. And every time I did it I was handing someone else the authority to decide what I was worth and how I was supposed to show up. The F-word isn't the point. It never was. The point is whether you get to decide what your expression looks like or whether you keep outsourcing that decision to whoever is holding something you want. I turned down the gig. Not because I couldn't speak without profanity — clearly I can. But because I couldn't make that promise honestly. And if I can't be honest in the room I'm in, I have no business being in that room talking about honesty. Who decides the value? You do. Or you don't. Those are the only two options.