EP 19: $80K in Debt And Low Self Worth

EP 19: $80K in Debt And Low Self Worth

This is the self-worth episode. And I'm not talking about affirmations in the mirror or surface level confidence tips - I'm talking about the real stuff. The patterns you can't unsee once you see them. The clues your life has been giving you all along. This is a solo episode and it's one I've been sitting with for a while. We're talking about self-worth in the most honest, unfiltered way I know how - by looking at my own story and what my external reality was reflecting back to me for years before I could actually see it. I share the patterns I couldn't see for years - the situationships, the f*** boys, the binge drinking, the dr*gs, the money I wasted, the way I treated my body, the fake boobs, the $80,000 in debt - and how all of it was just my external reality mirroring back to me exactly where my self-worth was at. I also walk you through how things actually changed. The checkpoints. The first ayahuasca retreat. The NLP training I signed up for with $9,000 in my bank account and $80k in debt because I got a divine sign I couldn't ignore. The coaches I've invested in. The devotional practices I now live by. And why investing energy - time, money and presence - back into yourself is the thing that changes everything. This episode is an invitation to get curious. To look at your own life and ask honestly - what is my reality reflecting back to me right now? Because the answers are already there.

EP 18: Lessons on Fear, Healing & Choosing Yourself with Martin Strandberg

Martin is a breathwork instructor, coach, and one of those people who's genuinely lived it. Grew up in a village of 150 people in the Norwegian woods, dropped out of school at 17, ended up in Africa after a weekend trip to Sweden, and somewhere in between discovered that the breath is the most powerful tool we have access to - and it costs absolutely nothing. But before any of that, Martin hit rock bottom. A heartbreak that almost ended his life. A year of isolation, barely eating, and getting more and more suicidal - until one intense breathwork session alone in his room changed everything. He describes going from the depths of depression to feeling like himself times ten. That was the moment that set everything in motion. In this episode we get into his journey from that rock bottom to coaching thousands of people, what breathwork actually does to your nervous system and why it's not one-size-fits-all, the law of attraction and how life is constantly giving us feedback, nature as a genuine healer, why talking to yourself like your best friend might be the most underrated mental health tool out there, and what it actually takes to let go of the life - and the people - that no longer fit who you're becoming. Find Martin here on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breathewithmartin?igsh=bDYwbHk4bGpzcXdh

EP 17: You Are Your Greatest Teacher

This is an episode I've been sitting with for a long time - and I'm so glad it's  here. What if you didn't need an intense plant medicine ceremony or a big life altering event to experience profound growth? What if life itself - every trigger, every pattern, every person you attract - is already doing that work for you, if you know how to look? That's what this episode is about. The idea that life is a ceremony. And once you start seeing it that way, everything changes. I take you through how this way of living came into my awareness - through ayahuasca, through a two-and-a-half-year situationship with someone who couldn't commit, and eventually through a music festival in the mud where a total stranger helped me break through one of my biggest edges. I talk about what it actually means to use life as your teacher - how to notice what you're attracting, why you're attracting it, what your triggers are trying to tell you, and how to get curious instead of reactive. I also walk you through the life as a game analogy that I come back to again and again - the levels, the clues, the controller you didn't know you were holding - and how to start actually playing with intention instead of flailing around with a blindfold on, trying to figure things out.  This is how I do the inner work. This is how things started materialising faster than I ever thought possible. And this is how you can start too.

EP 16: A Conversation About Addiction, Sobriety & Self-Love with Graham Weiner

If you've been around here for a while, you know I don't do surface-level conversations. And this one with Graham? Absolutely no exception. Graham is genuinely one of my favourite humans in Santa Teresa - the vibiest man I know, and somehow always the best dressed person in the room. But beyond the pink linen and pearls is someone who has done serious work on himself, and this conversation is a beautiful reflection of that. Graham opens up about his journey with addiction - from smoking weed at 12 to fit in, through years of hard drugs, all the way to an intervention at 33 and three and a half years of sobriety. He talks about what it actually felt like to wake up in rehab and think this is exactly what I needed, how substances were quietly keeping him disconnected from himself and everyone around him, and what the word self-loathing really means when you're too happy-go-lucky to even realise it's happening. We also get into the spiritual side of sobriety, the five realms of health, what it means to stay neutral rather than just chasing happiness, and the core wound that came up for Graham during an NLP and ECT session we did together - I'm good enough - and what's shifted for him since. This one isn't just for people in recovery. It's for anyone who's ever used something - a drink, a relationship, a scroll through their phone - to avoid feeling what's actually there. It's a gentle, honest, and genuinely beautiful conversation about coming home to yourself. Find Graham on instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/la.pantera.rosa.real?igsh=MzJrMm9uenR1OHN1

EP 15: "Everything Was 'Perfect' On Paper" with Anna Bucklar

I met Anna on a sweaty beach club dance floor in Santa Teresa, and I knew immediately she was my kind of person. We bumped into each other again at the gym, grabbed a smoothie, and honestly - the rest is history. Our convos are always deep, always real, and this one is no different. Anna had it all on paper. A thriving wedding photography business with international clients, a marriage, a dream apartment, a life that looked incredible from the outside. And yet, something was off. That little niggle beneath the surface that whispered there's more - she kept trying to bury it. Until she couldn't anymore. In this episode, Anna shares the raw, honest story of walking away from her marriage, her business, and the life everyone expected her to live - and jumping into full-time solo travel with no plan, no end date, and a whole lot of faith. What followed was one of the most profound journeys of self-discovery, healing, and learning to actually be with herself. We get into: the moment she hit rock bottom, the self-destructive patterns she used to cope, how a random Brazilian man in a foreign country accidentally cracked her open, healing her eating disorder through solo travel, the power of sisterhood, and why being alone might be the greatest gift you ever give yourself. We also talk about how to read the clues your life is giving you, how your triggers and patterns are always trying to tell you something, and what it actually looks like to lean into fear instead of running from it. This one's for anyone who's living a life that looks great on paper but feels a little hollow on the inside. The invisible thread is real, sis - and it's always leading you somewhere worth going.  Find Anna on IG here: https://www.instagram.com/goingannawhere/