The Erotic Life Podcast
I am very excited to share my recent discussion with Dr Douglas Thomas, author of The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink. In this episode we discuss his Soul-Centred Approach to BDSM. To do this, we we first examine BDSM through the Historical Lens to understand how past societal views shaped modern perceptions. We then shift to the Person-Centred Lens to look at current psychological views on individual agency and subjective experience. These stages prepare us for the Soul-Centred Lens, where we explain how the soul expresses itself through the BDSM and kink spaces in an attempt for integration and deep transformation. Join us as we walk through this incredible journey towards Thomas' vision of unity and love for all parts of the self. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Wholeness Over Goodness: The soul drives the BDSM experience. It does not care for moral definitions of "good" behaviour. Instead, it seeks to be whole by integrating every part of your psyche. The BDSM space offers this. * The Power of Symbols: To get to a place of integration, Thomas argues we need to deliteralise BDSM acts. For example, a scene involving "degradation" is usually a symbolic search for release from social status, not a request for literal harm. * The Soul’s Language: Your soul is pre-verbal and communicates through images. We discuss how BDSM provides a physical theatre for these images, using rituals and costumes to speak. * Ego Dissolution: By symbolically destroying the "ego" or social self through intense scenes, we discuss how this allows one's authentic soul to emerge. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction and Context of BDSM 04:51 Dr Douglas Thomas and the book 11:30 Setting the Stage Historical Perspective 13:24 BDSM Approached Through a Historical Lens 13:42 Ancient Romans 16:19 BDSM from 1880s to 1950s 18:52 BDSM Culture After WW2 21:04 Pathologisation 23:23 Freud on BDSM Person-Centerd Approach 28:02 Approaching BDSM Through The Person-Centred Lens 29:05 Literalisation vs Deliteralisation 31:23 Lesbian Effort to Depathologise BDSM 33:09 Physiology Soul-Centered Approach 37:37 Approaching BDSM Through the Soul-Centred Lens 38:05 Defining 'Soul' 43:14 The Soul in BDSM 46:48 Image-Focus 51:09 Play as an Integrative System 53:48 Stripping and Nakedness 58:04 The Soul-Centred Core 01:02:34 The Suffering Soul 01:08:27 Destruction of Self 01:11:25 Humiliation, Degradation, and Dehumanising 01:14:24 Freedom and Transformation 01:19:39 The Final Word Is Love
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