Navy SEAL Commander: What's Making You Better Probably Isn't

Hollywood Legend: The Real Reason Men Don't Feel with Barnet Bain | The Grateful Podcast Ep. 138

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/fan_mail/new] Barnet Bain produced What Dreams May Come with Robin Williams.  He wrote Jesus. He directed the Eckhart Tolle film Milton's Secret.  He co-wrote The Celestine Prophecy. I asked him what was really driving forty years of making the most spiritually charged films in Hollywood. He said: "You busted me." This conversation goes places Barnet has not gone in any other interview. The fable that explains why men quietly give up on their lives. The street performer in the park who showed him the bubble he had been living inside. The question he asked his wife that stopped him cold. The "you busted me" moment where an Oscar-winning producer admits, on the record, what every one of his films was really for. If you have ever felt like you are doing everything right but something inside has gone quiet, this one is for you. ⏰ TIMESTAMPS 0:00 — Intro 0:47 — "I was the world": the awareness Barnet has carried since he was a little boy 6:40 — The shift in his forties that changed how he relates to every human alive 11:57 — "What if this is heaven?" The reframe that rewrites grief, blame, and self-pity 16:00 — How to live artfully (the three raw materials of a life) 20:36 — The street performer in the park who exposed the bubble we are all living in 24:30 — "Have I ever had an original thought?" The question he asked his wife 30:14 — Why men go numb (and why most never come back) 33:55 — Aesop's fox: the sour grapes mechanism that runs men's lives 41:30 — "You busted me": what every film he ever made was really about 47:55 — There are no shortcuts (the rose, the bulb, the thorns) 51:08 — The two masks: how to navigate the moment everything you thought you knew stops working 55:25 — Free friendship guide and the new book 🔗 GUEST LINKS Barnet Bain: Website: https://www.barnetbain.com Book: How to Be a Friend in an Unfriendly World (anywhere books are sold) Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/barnetbain/ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/barnetbain 🎙️ Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. ☕ Magic Mind, my daily performance shot: https://magicmind.com/wagoner20 Use code WAGONER20 for 20% off a package or 48% off a subscription. 💬 What is the bubble you are living inside? Drop it below. 👇 Support the show: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/support 📺 Listen on your favorite platform: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grateful-podcast-with-jack-wagoner/id1725776061 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5EsTEpQAjU4BxUrDoFyZ6b ☕ Magic Mind — My daily performance shot: → https://magicmind.com/wagoner20 Use code WAGONER20 for 20% off a package or 48% off a subscription. 🧠 More from Jack: ► Website: https://jackwagoner.co ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jack_wagoner_/ ► 1:1 Coaching: jackcwagoner@gmail.com 📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Jack_Wagoner ⸻ 🎙️ About Jack: I moved to France alone at 16, started my first business at 17, and launched this podcast because I kept meeting people who had the answers to questions I didn't even know I was asking.  My philosophy: you can set massive goals while being deeply fulfilled right now. That's the duality of gratitude and ambition. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode. Stay grateful, stay hungry. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/support] ☕ Magic Mind — My daily performance shot: → https://magicmind.com/wagoner20 Use code WAGONER20 for 20% off a package or 48% off a subscription. 🧠 More from Jack: ► Website: https://jackwagoner.co ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jack_wagoner_/ ► 1:1 Coaching: jackcwagoner@gmail.com 📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Jack_Wagoner ⸻ 🎙️ About Jack: I moved to France alone at 16, started my first business at 17, and launched this podcast because I kept meeting people who had the answers to questions I didn't even know I was asking.  My philosophy: you can set massive goals while being deeply fulfilled right now. That's the duality of gratitude and ambition. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode. Stay grateful, stay hungry.

Navy SEAL Commander: What's Making You Better Probably Isn't

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/fan_mail/new] The Grateful Podcast with Jack Wagoner episode 137 What if most of what you're doing to grow yourself isn't actually growing you? Rich Diviney spent 20 years as a Navy SEAL commander. 13 deployments, 11 of them to Iraq and Afghanistan. He ran selection for one of the most elite SEAL commands in the world, deciding who was good enough to operate at the apex of human performance and who wasn't. He has written three books on optimal performance, trained leaders at Google, McKinsey, the 49ers, and McLaren, and built the SEALs' "Mind Gym" to teach operators how to train their attention as deliberately as their bodies. In this conversation, he laid out almost everything most people are doing to grow themselves that isn't actually working. The gym isn't growing you if you don't dread it. Optimism alone is inert without action paired to it. Faith and confidence are not the same thing. The narcissism that gets you to elite places gets ripped away the moment you arrive. And when you stop pushing into real discomfort, you don't plateau. You start dying. We go deep on what actually develops elite performers, why most leadership advice misses the layer beneath behavior, the neuroscience of the anterior mid-cingulate cortex, the trap of optimizing inside one domain, and why faith is belief without evidence and confidence is belief with evidence (and why both matter). If you've ever felt like you're working hard at the wrong things, this one's for you. ⏰ TIMESTAMPS 0:00 — Cold open 1:45 — 21 years a SEAL. Where did this start? 2:15 — Twin brothers, Chuck Yeager, and the dream of flying jets 4:25 — Why he chose SEAL (the narcissism nobody admits) 7:30 — What replaces the narcissism once you arrive 8:21 — "Any narcissism that gets you to BUDS gets ripped away minute one" 11:24 — Victor Frankl, the choice point, and the duality of gratitude and ambition 15:30 — The neuroscience of feeling, thought, and action 17:07 — How founders and executives use this in everyday life 19:18 — Bob Proctor, paradigms, and the 97% of thoughts you repeat 22:00 — Driving, road rage, and the expectations we put on strangers 25:00 — "Don't be that guy" (the SEAL principle that travels) 27:30 — Sonder and radical empathy 30:33 — Why Simon Sinek's optimism alone doesn't work 32:37 — Realistic optimism, faith, and confidence 35:41 — Carl Sagan: faith is belief without evidence 38:06 — Trust is generative. What does that actually mean? 40:30 — The day I betrayed my own trust on a run 42:22 — The anterior mid-cingulate cortex (and the Andrew Huberman story) 43:54 — "When you stop growing, you start dying" 45:38 — Are you actually tickling the part of your brain that grows you? 47:38 — When your morning routine is making you weaker 50:14 — Looksmaxing, gym culture, and the trap of one domain 53:36 — A Maslow's hierarchy of hard things 55:30 — One question I should have asked 🔗 GUEST LINKS Book: The Attributes - https://www.amazon.com/Attributes-Hidden-Drivers-Optimal-Performance/dp/0593133943 Website: https://theattributes.com Instagram: @rich_diviney LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/richdiviney Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/support] ☕ Magic Mind — My daily performance shot: → https://magicmind.com/wagoner20 Use code WAGONER20 for 20% off a package or 48% off a subscription. 🧠 More from Jack: ► Website: https://jackwagoner.co ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jack_wagoner_/ ► 1:1 Coaching: jackcwagoner@gmail.com 📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Jack_Wagoner ⸻ 🎙️ About Jack: I moved to France alone at 16, started my first business at 17, and launched this podcast because I kept meeting people who had the answers to questions I didn't even know I was asking.  My philosophy: you can set massive goals while being deeply fulfilled right now. That's the duality of gratitude and ambition. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode. Stay grateful, stay hungry.

The Art of Asking Great Questions...(solo episode) | The Grateful Podcast Ep. 136

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/fan_mail/new] The Grateful Podcast with Jack Wagoner Most people think the person asking questions is the dumbest in the room. In this solo episode, Jack breaks down why the opposite is true, how he developed the skill of asking great questions through 130+ podcast episodes, and why curiosity might be the most underrated skill in business, relationships, and life. We go deep on why curiosity peaks at age 4 and declines from there, the moment Jack stopped reading questions off a script and started asking from instinct, what happened when he hired people based on their ability to ask rather than their ability to perform, and why human connection is dying in a world that has every answer at its fingertips. If you've ever sat in a room full of people and been afraid to raise your hand, this one's for you. Chapters: 0:00 — "Fools and Fanatics Are Always So Certain of Themselves" 1:41 — Someone Asked Me How I Ask Good Questions 3:28 — The Kid Whose Hand Shot Up Every Time 6:03 — Three Meetings in NYC Changed How I See This 6:45 — How I Went From Reading Questions to Asking From Instinct 9:59 — How You Can Get Better at This (Without a Podcast) 12:22 — Why Every Great Founder Starts With a Question 13:33 — Your Thoughts Are Questions (Tony Robbins, Bob Proctor) 16:49 — Why This Matters More Than Ever Right Now 17:11 — What I Looked For When I Hired Two People This Week 18:37 — Human Connection, AI, and Why Nobody's Coming to Save Us 21:15 — Go Ask Someone a Question Today Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/support] ☕ Magic Mind — My daily performance shot: → https://magicmind.com/wagoner20 Use code WAGONER20 for 20% off a package or 48% off a subscription. 🧠 More from Jack: ► Website: https://jackwagoner.co ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jack_wagoner_/ ► 1:1 Coaching: jackcwagoner@gmail.com 📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Jack_Wagoner ⸻ 🎙️ About Jack: I moved to France alone at 16, started my first business at 17, and launched this podcast because I kept meeting people who had the answers to questions I didn't even know I was asking.  My philosophy: you can set massive goals while being deeply fulfilled right now. That's the duality of gratitude and ambition. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode. Stay grateful, stay hungry.

Hormozi's 20-Year-Old: How to Engineer What You Want with Jay Yang | The Grateful Podcast Ep. 135

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/fan_mail/new] The Grateful Podcast with Jack Wagoner guesting Jay Yang Episode 135 Jay Yang is 20 years old. He cold-emailed his way into Beehiiv at 16. Sent a 19-page deck to Noah Kagan at 17 and became Head of Content at AppSumo. Wrote a bestseller at 19. Today he's the youngest Written Media Strategist on Alex and Leila Hormozi's media team at Acquisition.com, where he helped run the $100M Money Models launch that broke a Guinness World Record. He didn't go through the front door for any of it. He doesn't ask for permission. And in this conversation he walked me through, for the first time on any podcast, the actual mental models he's used to engineer the last four years. The North Star question. The probability mindset. The Four Pillar Framework. The mad scientist principle. The 70/20/10 split for an entire career. The Pyrrhic Victory chapter from the second book he's writing now. We go deep on why most 20-year-olds stay stuck even with all the information in the world, the only question to ask before you cold email anyone, the specific framework Jay used to decide between college and Hormozi, why quality is paved with quantity, and the closing line that compresses his whole thesis into one sentence. If you're building something and you want to think more clearly about how to engineer the next decade, this one's for you. ⏱️ Chapters 00:00 — The mission 01:00 — The Cheshire Cat question (define your North Star first) 02:16 — Why we've been trained to seek permission 06:32 — The probability mindset: inputs that increase your odds 10:34 — The Four Pillar Framework (the decision that took him to Hormozi) 15:39 — Chapter two of his next book: The Pyrrhic Victory 17:21 — Leaving his twin brother for Las Vegas 26:13 — "Would you work with you?" 28:22 — Quality is paved with quantity (the mad scientist principle) 30:16 — A goals, B goals, C goals (the long game) 34:50 — Daily habits, idea compression, and the Picasso napkin 43:26 — Identity achievement and the 70/20/10 split for a career 49:08 — Where Jay is choosing to live next 52:32 — The line he wants to leave you with 🔗 Jay's Links Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayyanginspires/ Website: https://jayyanginspires.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayyanginspires/ Book: https://www.amazon.com/You-Can-Just-Things-Permissionless/dp/B0F3GPZL1C LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jayyanginspires Twitter/X: https://x.com/Jayyanginspires Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/support] ☕ Magic Mind — My daily performance shot: → https://magicmind.com/wagoner20 Use code WAGONER20 for 20% off a package or 48% off a subscription. 🧠 More from Jack: ► Website: https://jackwagoner.co ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jack_wagoner_/ ► 1:1 Coaching: jackcwagoner@gmail.com 📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Jack_Wagoner ⸻ 🎙️ About Jack: I moved to France alone at 16, started my first business at 17, and launched this podcast because I kept meeting people who had the answers to questions I didn't even know I was asking.  My philosophy: you can set massive goals while being deeply fulfilled right now. That's the duality of gratitude and ambition. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode. Stay grateful, stay hungry.

If You Think You're Self-Aware You're NOT with Allison Brenner | The Grateful Podcast Ep. 134

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/fan_mail/new] The Grateful Podcast with Jack Wagoner episode 134 Guesting Allison Brenner She left therapy after a patient on the child unit took their own life. That moment sent her on a 25-year journey into the science of why people can't see themselves clearly, and what it actually costs them. Allison Brenner is an IO psychology consultant, certified professional coach (PCC), and founder of InnerVue, a 360-degree anonymous feedback platform built to give everyone access to what only Fortune 500 executives used to get. Research shows 95% of people believe they are self-aware. The real number is closer to 10%. This conversation is about that gap, and what to do about it. We go deep on why self-criticism is not the same as self-awareness and is actually keeping you stuck, why the people around you already know what's in your way and nobody's telling you, what senior leaders consistently get wrong about their own impact, and why insight without action is one of the most dangerous illusions a high achiever can hold. If you've ever felt like you're doing everything right but the results still aren't there, this one's for you. ⏰ TIMESTAMPS 0:00 — Introduction 0:10 — Why Self-Awareness Has Never Mattered More 3:08 — The Psychiatric Hospital That Changed Her Career 8:04 — What Senior Leaders Get Wrong About Their Own Impact 11:04 — Curiosity: The Foundation of All Growth 13:43 — The Leadership Paradox: Why Caring What Others Think Actually Matters 18:16 — How to Find What You Actually Want and Value 20:23 — Building Introspection as a Skill 25:49 — Why She Built InnerVue 27:55 — Insight Without Action Is an Illusion 32:25 — She Had This Idea in 2007. Why Did She Wait? 35:14 — What Happens When the Rater Learns About Themselves 40:52 — Identity Continuity and Happiness 43:22 — Self-Criticism vs. Self-Awareness: The Distinction That Changes Everything 47:33 — Gratitude Gives Ambition Direction and Meaning 51:37 — One Action to Take Today 🔗 GUEST LINKS Allison K. Brenner Website: yourinnervue.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/allisonbrenner 💬 When did you last ask someone how you actually come across?  Drop your honest answer below. 👇 Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2302168/support] ☕ Magic Mind — My daily performance shot: → https://magicmind.com/wagoner20 Use code WAGONER20 for 20% off a package or 48% off a subscription. 🧠 More from Jack: ► Website: https://jackwagoner.co ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jack_wagoner_/ ► 1:1 Coaching: jackcwagoner@gmail.com 📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Jack_Wagoner ⸻ 🎙️ About Jack: I moved to France alone at 16, started my first business at 17, and launched this podcast because I kept meeting people who had the answers to questions I didn't even know I was asking.  My philosophy: you can set massive goals while being deeply fulfilled right now. That's the duality of gratitude and ambition. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode. Stay grateful, stay hungry.