Why You Struggle With Self-Worth: Core Beliefs, External Validation & Identity | Alexsa Wicker, LMFT

Self-Worth vs. Dignity: The Inner Courtroom, Self-Abandonment & Inherent Worth with Marielle Fois

Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with dignity coach Marielle Fois, exploring the difference between self-worth as a belief and dignity as an embodied experience of inherent worth. Why do so many of us tie our value to productivity, perfection, achievement, or other people’s approval? Why does self-abandonment often feel safer than honoring our needs? And what happens when we stop treating our lives as evidence for whether we’re enough? In this conversation, Julienne and Marielle explore the “inner courtroom,” the internal space where mistakes become verdicts, accomplishments become requirements, and our worth is constantly put on trial. Together, they discuss perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, boundaries, nervous system safety, and what it means to live from a place of intact worth rather than in pursuit of worth. Marielle explains why affirmations, journaling, and mindset work can build awareness but don’t always change what the body has learned, and how dignity work creates an opening for a deeper, more embodied experience of self-respect. One of the biggest perspective shifts from this conversation: You are inherently worthy of respect. You don’t need permission to exist, and you don’t need to apologize for taking up space in the universe. In This Episode 00:00 Welcome and Dignity Introduction 01:33 Sponsor: Marketing Clarity 02:23 Meet Marielle Fois 06:16 Self-Worth vs. Dignity 10:53 The Inner Courtroom Explained 12:14 How We Negotiate Our Worth 14:35 Why Self-Abandonment Feels Safe 20:22 Why Knowing Isn’t Always Living 24:20 What Dignity Feels Like in the Body 27:50 Midroll Course and Consultation 29:56 What Changes When We Live From Dignity 33:18 Becoming Unavailable for Less 35:50 Reconnecting With Intact Worth 37:30 Core Truth and Final Takeaways 39:33 Where to Find Marielle 40:06 Final Reflection and Next Week Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Marielle Fois here 👉🏽 Website: www.mariellefois.com, where you can learn about her The Standing in Dignity Workshop and get her free resource The Inner Courtroom: The pattern that turns your circumstances into verdicts about your worth IG: @mariellefois

Performative vs. Regulated Confidence: Nervous System Regulation, Anxiety & Self-Worth with SuperKate

Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with somatic life coach and Connecting with SuperKate host, SuperKate. Many of us think confidence looks like being productive, prepared, decisive, and always having the right answer. But what if some of what we’ve been calling confidence is actually anxiety, over-functioning, people-pleasing, or a nervous system working overtime to keep us safe? In this conversation, Julienne and SuperKate explore the difference between performative confidence and regulated confidence, how high-functioning anxiety can disguise itself as competence, and why so many of us tie our worth to achievement, productivity, and other people’s approval. Together, they discuss nervous system regulation, fawn responses, over-explaining, over-apologizing, perfectionism, burnout, performance-based identity, and the subtle ways dysregulation influences everything from emails and conversations to decision-making and self-trust. They also explore how regulation changes our relationship with failure, intuition, rest, presence, and connection, and why true confidence isn’t about becoming more impressive, but about feeling safe enough to be yourself. One of the biggest perspective shifts from this conversation: What if you’re not lacking confidence? What if you’re just dysregulated? ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome and Setup 01:15 Sponsor Message 02:12 Meet SuperKate 02:37 The Snowy Origin Story 06:58 When Worth Becomes Tied to Work 09:27 Redefining Confidence 11:18 When Anxiety Looks Like Confidence 15:08 Understanding Nervous System Dysregulation 16:25 The Email Spiral Explained 20:11 Signs of False Confidence 23:53 High-Functioning Anxiety & Self-Worth 25:38 Masking, Performing & Dissociation 28:13 Mid-Episode Break 30:01 Understanding the Fawn Response 31:09 Why We Over-Explain 33:17 Letting Go of “Does That Make Sense?” 34:43 Over-Apologizing & Taking Up Space 36:55 Managing Other People’s Reactions 39:41 Adrenaline vs. Regulated Confidence 44:27 Performance-Based Identity 46:05 What Changes When We Regulate 51:19 Start With One Breath 53:47 Final Thoughts on Confidence & Self-Worth   Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with SuperKate here 👉🏽 Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/the_superkate Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/superkate LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/in/superkate/ YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@ConnectingWithSuperKate Podcast → https://rss.com/podcasts/connecting-with-superkate/

The Science of Confidence: Why Confidence Isn’t Something You’re Born With | Lilach Mendelovich

Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with public speaking confidence coach Lilach Mendelovich, exploring what confidence actually is, how it differs from self-worth, and why confidence is a skill that can be trained rather than a trait you’re born with. Drawing from neuroscience, performance psychology, and intuitive self-trust, Lilach explains why confidence grows through evidence and experience, why affirmations often fail when the brain lacks proof, and how small wins create the foundation for lasting confidence. Together, they explore performance anxiety, perfectionism, comparison, nervous system regulation, and the surprising reason authenticity creates more confidence than trying to appear confident. The conversation also dives into interoception, the body’s internal guidance system, and how learning to trust your own signals can help you distinguish between growth, fear, and misalignment. If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, imposter syndrome, comparison, or feeling like confidence comes naturally to everyone but you, this episode offers practical tools and a powerful perspective shift: Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Confidence Is a Skill 01:18 Sponsor Break 02:26 Meet Lilach Mendelovich 05:11 Performance Anxiety Statistics 06:12 Three Types of Confidence 09:12 Self-Worth vs. Confidence 11:17 Reframing Failure as Learning 17:06 The Science of Efficacy 20:56 Why Affirmations Often Fail 26:45 Building Confidence Through Small Wins 30:24 Presence, Connection & Authenticity 34:26 Befriending Your Nerves 38:49 Why Perfection Blocks Connection 40:30 Connection Over Perfection 41:39 Permission to Be Yourself 43:40 Leaning Into Your Natural Strengths 48:45 Midroll Break & Sponsors 50:33 Working With Anxiety Instead of Against It 53:08 Building Confidence One Step at a Time 55:39 Healthy vs. Toxic Comparison 59:59 Intrinsic Goals vs. External Validation 01:04:51 Peace, Confidence & Resilience 01:06:06 Interoception & Intuitive Self-Trust 01:08:32 Growth Discomfort vs. Misalignment 01:15:55 What Integrated Confidence Looks Like 01:17:20 A Daily Exercise for Building Confidence 01:20:49 Why Self-Compassion Matters 01:25:10 Closing Thoughts & Next Episode   Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Lilach Mendelovich here 👉🏽 Website: www.speak.lilachcoaching.com [http://www.speak.lilachcoaching.com] LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/lilach-mendelovich [http://www.linkedin.com/in/lilach-mendelovich] Get Lilach’s free From Panic to Presence guide here 👉🏽 https://speak.lilachcoaching.com/free/ [https://speak.lilachcoaching.com/free/]

Why You Struggle With Self-Worth: Core Beliefs, External Validation & Identity | Alexsa Wicker, LMFT

Why do so many of us tie our worth to achievements, relationships, appearance, productivity, or other people’s approval? In the first episode of our Self-Worth & Confidence series, host Julienne Irons sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Alexsa Wicker, LMFT, to explore how self-worth is formed through core beliefs shaped by childhood experiences, family dynamics, culture, trauma, religion, racism, and societal conditioning. Together they discuss why external validation can become addictive, how comparison keeps us stuck in self-doubt, the impact of sexual assault and trauma on identity and self-worth, and practical CBT-informed tools for identifying inherited beliefs and building a more grounded sense of self. One of the most powerful questions from this conversation: “Whose voice is this?” Because sometimes the thoughts we believe are ours were inherited from parents, partners, teachers, culture, or past experiences. In This Episode: ✔ How self-worth is formed ✔ Why external validation feels so powerful ✔ The connection between trauma and identity ✔ How comparison impacts confidence ✔ CBT tools for changing thought patterns ✔ Journaling practices for self-awareness ✔ Living from your values instead of others’ expectations Content Advisory: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault, trauma, and their impact on identity and self-worth. #SelfWorth #Confidence #MentalHealth #Therapy #CBT #PersonalGrowth #Healing #SelfConfidence #TraumaHealing #PerspectiveShifts ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome and Theme 01:29 Content Warning 02:01 Sponsor Marketing Clarity 02:58 Meet Alexa Wicker 03:45 CBT and Core Beliefs 06:06 How Self Worth Forms 08:08 Whose Voice Is It 09:38 External Validation Roots 14:13 Stuck in the Loop 16:49 Signs of Validation Seeking 17:47 Systems Shaping Worth 21:44 Racism and Scarcity Mindset 24:12 Trauma and Self Worth 29:29 Break and Course Promo 31:35 Comparison and Self Worth 33:45 Why Patterns Persist 34:30 Im Not Smart Enough 35:30 Brains Learn Differently 36:53 Long Division Thinking 39:00 Sitting With Emotions 42:02 Pause Before Reacting 43:52 Check The Story 47:07 Journaling Your Patterns 52:35 Changing Thoughts Daily 59:16 Living By Your Values 01:01:28 Whose Voice Is That 01:05:14 Closing Takeaways Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Alexsa Wicker here 👉🏽 Website: https://alexsalmft.clientsecure.me/

Energetic Attachment & Release: Parts Work, Grief, and Compassionate Letting Go with Juanita Lepage

Host Julienne Irons closes the Love & Relationships arc with psychotherapist and energy healer Juanita Lepage, exploring why letting go can feel so difficult even when we know a relationship is no longer aligned. Blending Internal Family Systems therapy with energy healing, Juanita explains how emotional attachment lives not just in the mind, but also in the body, nervous system, and energetic field. Together, they unpack the idea of energetic cords, why “just let it go” often doesn’t work, and how true release requires compassion and understanding rather than force or shame. The conversation explores grief, fear, trauma, and the hidden ways major life events can shape our relationship patterns years later. Julienne shares a personal realization about how losing her sister impacted her relationship to love and emotional safety, leading to a deeper discussion about attachment, avoidance, and the nervous system’s role in protecting us from pain. Juanita also introduces concepts like “core star” expansion, holding duality through parts work, and creating safety within ourselves so old attachments can begin to loosen naturally. They discuss fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses, early signs of emotional release, and why healing often starts with becoming kinder to ourselves rather than trying to “fix” ourselves. This episode is a powerful exploration of grief, energetic attachment, self-worth, and what it truly means to let go with compassion. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome and Theme Introduction 01:18 Sponsor Break 02:15 Meet Juanita Lepage 04:17 What Are Energetic Cords? 06:26 Why Letting Go Feels So Hard 09:15 Core Star Expansion Explained 10:19 Emotional, Energetic, and Psychological Attachment 12:41 Cord Cutting vs Releasing 16:27 Parts Work and Holding Duality 18:04 Compassion Over Force 18:58 Miscarriage, Grief, and Energy Work 20:28 Agency Within Your Energetic Field 23:11 Grief Behind Relationship Avoidance 26:05 How Attachment Patterns Form 28:51 Why Fear Needs Space 29:46 Getting Unstuck Through Support 31:03 What Emotional Release Feels Like 34:38 Nervous System Safety and Healing 35:50 Signs of Real Change 38:01 Self-Worth Through Self-Compassion 39:40 Closing Reflections and Next Theme Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽: https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/]   🙌🏽 Connect with Juanita here: juanitalepage.com  Instagram: @juanita.lepage  Substack: @juanitalepage