Perspective Shifts for Healing with The Hanged Women

Why You Struggle With Self-Worth: Core Beliefs, External Validation & Identity | Alexsa Wicker, LMFT

Why do so many of us tie our worth to achievements, relationships, appearance, productivity, or other people’s approval? In the first episode of our Self-Worth & Confidence series, host Julienne Irons sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Alexsa Wicker, LMFT, to explore how self-worth is formed through core beliefs shaped by childhood experiences, family dynamics, culture, trauma, religion, racism, and societal conditioning. Together they discuss why external validation can become addictive, how comparison keeps us stuck in self-doubt, the impact of sexual assault and trauma on identity and self-worth, and practical CBT-informed tools for identifying inherited beliefs and building a more grounded sense of self. One of the most powerful questions from this conversation: “Whose voice is this?” Because sometimes the thoughts we believe are ours were inherited from parents, partners, teachers, culture, or past experiences. In This Episode: ✔ How self-worth is formed ✔ Why external validation feels so powerful ✔ The connection between trauma and identity ✔ How comparison impacts confidence ✔ CBT tools for changing thought patterns ✔ Journaling practices for self-awareness ✔ Living from your values instead of others’ expectations Content Advisory: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault, trauma, and their impact on identity and self-worth. #SelfWorth #Confidence #MentalHealth #Therapy #CBT #PersonalGrowth #Healing #SelfConfidence #TraumaHealing #PerspectiveShifts ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome and Theme 01:29 Content Warning 02:01 Sponsor Marketing Clarity 02:58 Meet Alexa Wicker 03:45 CBT and Core Beliefs 06:06 How Self Worth Forms 08:08 Whose Voice Is It 09:38 External Validation Roots 14:13 Stuck in the Loop 16:49 Signs of Validation Seeking 17:47 Systems Shaping Worth 21:44 Racism and Scarcity Mindset 24:12 Trauma and Self Worth 29:29 Break and Course Promo 31:35 Comparison and Self Worth 33:45 Why Patterns Persist 34:30 Im Not Smart Enough 35:30 Brains Learn Differently 36:53 Long Division Thinking 39:00 Sitting With Emotions 42:02 Pause Before Reacting 43:52 Check The Story 47:07 Journaling Your Patterns 52:35 Changing Thoughts Daily 59:16 Living By Your Values 01:01:28 Whose Voice Is That 01:05:14 Closing Takeaways Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Alexsa Wicker here 👉🏽 Website: https://alexsalmft.clientsecure.me/

Energetic Attachment & Release: Parts Work, Grief, and Compassionate Letting Go with Juanita Lepage

Host Julienne Irons closes the Love & Relationships arc with psychotherapist and energy healer Juanita Lepage, exploring why letting go can feel so difficult even when we know a relationship is no longer aligned. Blending Internal Family Systems therapy with energy healing, Juanita explains how emotional attachment lives not just in the mind, but also in the body, nervous system, and energetic field. Together, they unpack the idea of energetic cords, why “just let it go” often doesn’t work, and how true release requires compassion and understanding rather than force or shame. The conversation explores grief, fear, trauma, and the hidden ways major life events can shape our relationship patterns years later. Julienne shares a personal realization about how losing her sister impacted her relationship to love and emotional safety, leading to a deeper discussion about attachment, avoidance, and the nervous system’s role in protecting us from pain. Juanita also introduces concepts like “core star” expansion, holding duality through parts work, and creating safety within ourselves so old attachments can begin to loosen naturally. They discuss fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses, early signs of emotional release, and why healing often starts with becoming kinder to ourselves rather than trying to “fix” ourselves. This episode is a powerful exploration of grief, energetic attachment, self-worth, and what it truly means to let go with compassion. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome and Theme Introduction 01:18 Sponsor Break 02:15 Meet Juanita Lepage 04:17 What Are Energetic Cords? 06:26 Why Letting Go Feels So Hard 09:15 Core Star Expansion Explained 10:19 Emotional, Energetic, and Psychological Attachment 12:41 Cord Cutting vs Releasing 16:27 Parts Work and Holding Duality 18:04 Compassion Over Force 18:58 Miscarriage, Grief, and Energy Work 20:28 Agency Within Your Energetic Field 23:11 Grief Behind Relationship Avoidance 26:05 How Attachment Patterns Form 28:51 Why Fear Needs Space 29:46 Getting Unstuck Through Support 31:03 What Emotional Release Feels Like 34:38 Nervous System Safety and Healing 35:50 Signs of Real Change 38:01 Self-Worth Through Self-Compassion 39:40 Closing Reflections and Next Theme Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽: https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/]   🙌🏽 Connect with Juanita here: juanitalepage.com  Instagram: @juanita.lepage  Substack: @juanitalepage

Aligned Love & Nervous System Safety: From Over-Functioning to Love That Feels Like Home with Sridaya Srivatsan

Host Julienne Irons continues the Love & Relationships series with manifestation coach Sridaya Srivatsan, exploring why high-achieving women who thrive professionally can still feel stuck in dating and relationships. In this episode, they break down what “aligned love” actually means: a relationship where you feel safe, grounded, and fully yourself, with a shared capacity for emotional intimacy rather than performing, proving, or over-functioning. Sridaya shares her personal journey, including her cultural background, spiritual awakening, and healing process, and explains how family conditioning, “good girl” programming, and fear of disappointment can lead to patterns like “almost” relationships and emotional imbalance. The conversation dives into how the nervous system shapes attraction, why familiarity doesn’t always mean healthy, and how to shift from overthinking and logic into somatic awareness and body-based trust. They also explore the difference between anxious chemistry and true compatibility, and how to hold standards in dating without chasing or self-abandoning. Finally, Sridaya introduces her HOME framework and 90 Days to Feels Like Home program, offering a path to build self-trust, release limiting patterns, and create space to receive love that feels secure, aligned, and sustainable.   ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome and Episode Setup  01:11 Sponsor Message  02:09 Meet Sridaya and Her Journey  06:43 What Aligned Love Means  07:24 Why High Achievers Feel Stuck in Dating  10:12 Culture, Family, and Marriage Pressure  14:41 “Good Girl” Programming and Compromise  17:51 Thriving but Still Feeling Lonely  21:58 From Logic to Body-Based Trust  24:58 “Mr. Almost” and Dating Patterns  27:57 Inner Child, Future Self, and Time  31:13 Nervous System and Familiar Attraction  34:10 Habituating Safe Love  34:57 Breaking Old Relationship Patterns  37:45 Chemistry vs Compatibility  40:37 What Love That Feels Like Home Means  42:25 Over-Functioning and Holding Standards  45:12 Embodiment in Dating  48:01 Manifesting Romantic Love  50:29 Becoming Energetically Available  52:17 Letting Go of Control  56:21 HOME Framework Breakdown  01:00:24 Final Truth and Closing Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse 🙌🏽 Connect with Sridaya Srivatsan here 👉🏽 Website:  https://manifestincolour.myflodesk.com/maillist Use code TheHangedWoman for 10% off Sridaya’s Path to Aligned Love 3-month coaching container Instagram: @manifestincolour & @sridayasrivatsan

Love, Money & Safety: Healing Money Stories in Relationships with Katy Chen Mazarra

Host Julienne Irons continues the Love & Relationships series with trauma-informed financial wellness coach Katy Chen Mazarra, exploring how money issues in relationships are rarely about numbers and are deeply connected to childhood experiences, nervous system safety, and identity. In this episode, Katy shares how growing up with conflicting money dynamics shaped her own patterns and explains why couples often argue about what money represents, including security, self-worth, control, and emotional safety. They break down how avoidance, shame, secrecy, and what Katy calls “financial infidelity” can erode trust over time, even when the issue doesn’t seem obvious on the surface. The conversation also explores how money triggers show up in the body through inner child responses, and why building awareness and compassion is key to shifting patterns. Katy offers practical tools like playful “money dates” that focus on connection and dream-building first, helping couples regulate their nervous systems before having financial conversations. For those who are single, this episode highlights how money stories impact self-worth, dating choices, and visibility in relationships. Katy shares a simple self-worth jar practice to help rewire negative beliefs and build confidence from within. This episode is a powerful reminder that healthy financial relationships start with self-awareness, communication, and a willingness to grow both individually and as a team. Katy has generously created a Couples Guide to Money for listeners of this episode. We’re keeping this resource live for a limited time, so be sure to grab it over the next couple of weeks while it’s available: http://pages.katychenmazzara.com/couplesguide [http://pages.katychenmazzara.com/couplesguide] After that, you can stay connected and continue learning from Katy by signing up for her Money Magic Mail here: https://katychenmazzara.lpages.co/kcm-newsletter-sign-up/ [https://katychenmazzara.lpages.co/kcm-newsletter-sign-up/] ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Money Meets Love 01:17 Sponsor Message 02:00 Meet Katy Chen Mazarra 03:07 From TV to Money Coach 06:51 Childhood Money Imprints 09:38 Why Couples Clash Over Money 14:43 Avoidance Creates Distance 17:29 Money, Safety, and the Nervous System 24:37 Financial Infidelity Story 26:24 Inner Child Money Triggers 30:00 Money Dates and Dream Building 32:29 Shame and Secrecy Around Money 33:38 Compassion and Healing Money Shame 39:35 Love Bigger Than Debt 43:14 Overgiving and Self-Worth 45:51 Self-Worth Jar Practice 47:45 How Couples Talk Without Fighting 49:28 Money Dates in Practice 50:59 Healthy Financial Partnership Dynamics 58:41 Change Starts With Awareness 01:00:25 Communication and Teamwork 01:01:33 Where to Find Katy 01:03:52 Final Takeaways and Next Episode Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Katy Chen Mazzara here 👉🏽 Instagram: @katychenmazzara [https://www.instagram.com/katychenmazzara/] Website: https://www.katychenmazzara.com/ [https://www.katychenmazzara.com/]

Attachment, Chemistry & Nervous System Healing: Building Earned Secure Love with Jessica Fern

Host Julienne Irons continues the Love & Relationships arc through the scientific lens with therapist and author Jessica Fern, exploring how attachment shapes the way we experience love. In this conversation, Jessica breaks down attachment as a biological brain and nervous system process involving safety, reward, and threat detection, and how early caregiving experiences form the templates we carry into adult relationships.   They explore the four attachment styles, secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized, as adaptive strategies rather than fixed identities, and unpack why insight alone isn’t enough to break relational patterns. Instead, lasting change happens through nervous system regulation and new relational experiences. The episode also dives into the difference between chemistry and safety, highlighting how attraction can sometimes be driven by anxiety, familiarity, or threat responses rather than true alignment. Jessica shares how to assess whether you feel safe and like yourself with someone, and why that distinction is key to building healthier relationships. They also discuss how attachment functions across all relationship structures, including non-monogamy, and challenge the misconception that non-monogamy is inherently avoidant. Finally, Jessica introduces the concept of “earned secure attachment,” and outlines the conditions needed to build it, including presence, emotional engagement, attunement, and repair. Next episode: We explore the energetic lens of love through money, safety, and power dynamics with Katy Chen Mazzara. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome And Setup  01:12 Sponsor Message  02:11 Meet Jessica Fern  03:08 Attachment Biology Basics  04:44 Avoidant Style And Loss  06:33 How Attachment Templates Form  07:58 Attachment Styles Explained  10:42 Why We Repeat Patterns  13:53 Familiar Feels Like Home  16:24 Chemistry Or Threat Response  19:51 Attachment In Non Monogamy  21:47 Avoidant Myth Origins  22:31 What Research Actually Shows  24:27 Cheating And Attachment Nuance  25:40 Sponsor Break  26:32 HEARTS Secure Attachment Framework  29:52 Safety Calms Nervous System  31:00 Healing With IFS Parts Work  34:13 Awareness Regulation Communication  35:48 Early Signs Of Change  37:52 Earned Secure Takeaway  40:08 Wrap Up And Next Episode Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽: https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/]   🙌🏽 Connect with Jessica Fern here: IG: @jessicafern411 https://www.jessicafern.com [https://www.jessicafern.com/]