The Science of Confidence: Why Confidence Isn’t Something You’re Born With | Lilach Mendelovich

Shadow Work, Non-Duality & Self-Worth: Ending the War With Yourself with Gavin Flanagan

Host Julienne Irons closes the self-worth and self-confidence series with shadow work and non-duality teacher Gavin Flanagan. Together, they explore why healing may not be about fixing ourselves, but about ending the exhausting job of rejecting parts of who we are. Gavin shares his journey through long-term meditation, sobriety, a personal breakdown, ayahuasca, holotropic breathwork, and living in his car, experiences that transformed his understanding of identity, suffering, and self-worth. They unpack the difference between intellectual shadow work and energetic shadow work, why trying to get rid of anxiety and other “negative emotions” can actually intensify them, and how fear, grief, and discomfort may be misunderstood forms of energy rather than problems to solve. Julienne opens up about her own experience with morning anxiety, and Gavin introduces the practice of self-inquiry, questioning thoughts, and learning to feel emotions directly rather than endlessly analyzing them. Together, they explore non-duality, spiritual bypassing, unconditional love, and how self-worth shifts when we stop chasing fulfillment somewhere else and begin meeting ourselves exactly where we are. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 01:31 Sponsor: Marketing Clarity 02:20 Meet Gavin Flanagan 04:50 What Is Shadow Work? 07:39 Why Fighting Anxiety Makes It Worse 10:59 The Real Meaning of Unconditional Love 13:36 Losing Everything and Finding Identity 15:46 Is Anxiety Really Anxiety? 20:17 Why the Mind Isn’t Always Right 22:37 The River Crossing Metaphor 27:20 Midroll and Offers 29:17 Intellectual vs Energetic Shadow Work 30:26 Chasing “Other” and Losing Yourself 33:47 Self-Inquiry and Non-Duality 35:08 Questioning the Inner Critic 37:15 Thoughts Aren’t Facts 38:48 Testing Stories Against Reality 40:55 The Observer and the Voice in Your Head 44:21 What Is Non-Duality? 49:50 Meeting the Shadow Instead of Rejecting It 50:49 Discomfort, Fear, and Life Transitions 54:32 Relationships, Identity, and Self-Worth 57:10 Grounded Spiritual Awakening 01:02:09 How to Begin Shadow Work 01:05:38 Finding Peace in Uncertainty 01:11:22 Final Reflections Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Gavin Flanagan here 👉🏽 https://www.instagram.com/spontaneous_evolution/reels/ https://www.youtube.com/@SpontaneousEvolution https://www.threads.com/@spontaneous_evolution

Beyond the Box: Identity, Belonging & Being in Process with Emily Gopaul

Host Julienne Irons continues the self-worth series with art education consultant, curriculum designer, and EFT practitioner Emily Gopaul. Together, they explore identity, belonging, representation, code-switching, and the pressure to fit into predefined roles. Emily shares how culture, family, and representation shape our sense of self and why uncertainty isn’t something to fear, but a natural part of being alive. They discuss being single and child-free in midlife, decision fatigue, creativity, loneliness, and how self-worth can become more stable when we stop demanding fixed answers about who we are and allow ourselves to be fully in process.   ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome and Setup 01:20 Marketing Clarity Ad 02:03 Meet Emily Gopal 02:38 Emily’s Work and Roots 06:59 What Is Identity 12:27 Representation Shapes Belonging 17:20 Not Fitting In 18:37 Assimilation and Code Switching 23:23 Uncertainty and Self Worth 32:42 Midroll Break and Ads 34:25 Back to Representation 34:41 Why Representation Matters 36:27 When Representation Is Missing 38:05 Permission for Nuance 40:39 Peace Space and Creativity 43:15 Beyond Labels and Scripts 44:57 Decision Fatigue and Freedom 47:40 Grounded While In Process 50:45 Journals and Shifting Goals 53:54 EFT and Emotional Clues 01:00:45 Building Belonging Practices 01:02:47 Core Truth and Alignment 01:05:03 Where to Find Emily 01:05:52 Final Reflections and Teaser Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Emily Gopaul here 👉🏽 Website: https://theprimaryartclass.com/ [https://theprimaryartclass.com/] IG: @theprimaryartclass LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emily-gopaul-7169971a4/

Self-Worth vs. Dignity: The Inner Courtroom, Self-Abandonment & Inherent Worth with Marielle Fois

Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with dignity coach Marielle Fois, exploring the difference between self-worth as a belief and dignity as an embodied experience of inherent worth. Why do so many of us tie our value to productivity, perfection, achievement, or other people’s approval? Why does self-abandonment often feel safer than honoring our needs? And what happens when we stop treating our lives as evidence for whether we’re enough? In this conversation, Julienne and Marielle explore the “inner courtroom,” the internal space where mistakes become verdicts, accomplishments become requirements, and our worth is constantly put on trial. Together, they discuss perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, boundaries, nervous system safety, and what it means to live from a place of intact worth rather than in pursuit of worth. Marielle explains why affirmations, journaling, and mindset work can build awareness but don’t always change what the body has learned, and how dignity work creates an opening for a deeper, more embodied experience of self-respect. One of the biggest perspective shifts from this conversation: You are inherently worthy of respect. You don’t need permission to exist, and you don’t need to apologize for taking up space in the universe. In This Episode 00:00 Welcome and Dignity Introduction 01:33 Sponsor: Marketing Clarity 02:23 Meet Marielle Fois 06:16 Self-Worth vs. Dignity 10:53 The Inner Courtroom Explained 12:14 How We Negotiate Our Worth 14:35 Why Self-Abandonment Feels Safe 20:22 Why Knowing Isn’t Always Living 24:20 What Dignity Feels Like in the Body 27:50 Midroll Course and Consultation 29:56 What Changes When We Live From Dignity 33:18 Becoming Unavailable for Less 35:50 Reconnecting With Intact Worth 37:30 Core Truth and Final Takeaways 39:33 Where to Find Marielle 40:06 Final Reflection and Next Week Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Marielle Fois here 👉🏽 Website: www.mariellefois.com, where you can learn about her The Standing in Dignity Workshop and get her free resource The Inner Courtroom: The pattern that turns your circumstances into verdicts about your worth IG: @mariellefois

Performative vs. Regulated Confidence: Nervous System Regulation, Anxiety & Self-Worth with SuperKate

Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with somatic life coach and Connecting with SuperKate host, SuperKate. Many of us think confidence looks like being productive, prepared, decisive, and always having the right answer. But what if some of what we’ve been calling confidence is actually anxiety, over-functioning, people-pleasing, or a nervous system working overtime to keep us safe? In this conversation, Julienne and SuperKate explore the difference between performative confidence and regulated confidence, how high-functioning anxiety can disguise itself as competence, and why so many of us tie our worth to achievement, productivity, and other people’s approval. Together, they discuss nervous system regulation, fawn responses, over-explaining, over-apologizing, perfectionism, burnout, performance-based identity, and the subtle ways dysregulation influences everything from emails and conversations to decision-making and self-trust. They also explore how regulation changes our relationship with failure, intuition, rest, presence, and connection, and why true confidence isn’t about becoming more impressive, but about feeling safe enough to be yourself. One of the biggest perspective shifts from this conversation: What if you’re not lacking confidence? What if you’re just dysregulated? ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome and Setup 01:15 Sponsor Message 02:12 Meet SuperKate 02:37 The Snowy Origin Story 06:58 When Worth Becomes Tied to Work 09:27 Redefining Confidence 11:18 When Anxiety Looks Like Confidence 15:08 Understanding Nervous System Dysregulation 16:25 The Email Spiral Explained 20:11 Signs of False Confidence 23:53 High-Functioning Anxiety & Self-Worth 25:38 Masking, Performing & Dissociation 28:13 Mid-Episode Break 30:01 Understanding the Fawn Response 31:09 Why We Over-Explain 33:17 Letting Go of “Does That Make Sense?” 34:43 Over-Apologizing & Taking Up Space 36:55 Managing Other People’s Reactions 39:41 Adrenaline vs. Regulated Confidence 44:27 Performance-Based Identity 46:05 What Changes When We Regulate 51:19 Start With One Breath 53:47 Final Thoughts on Confidence & Self-Worth   Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with SuperKate here 👉🏽 Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/the_superkate Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/superkate LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/in/superkate/ YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@ConnectingWithSuperKate Podcast → https://rss.com/podcasts/connecting-with-superkate/

The Science of Confidence: Why Confidence Isn’t Something You’re Born With | Lilach Mendelovich

Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with public speaking confidence coach Lilach Mendelovich, exploring what confidence actually is, how it differs from self-worth, and why confidence is a skill that can be trained rather than a trait you’re born with. Drawing from neuroscience, performance psychology, and intuitive self-trust, Lilach explains why confidence grows through evidence and experience, why affirmations often fail when the brain lacks proof, and how small wins create the foundation for lasting confidence. Together, they explore performance anxiety, perfectionism, comparison, nervous system regulation, and the surprising reason authenticity creates more confidence than trying to appear confident. The conversation also dives into interoception, the body’s internal guidance system, and how learning to trust your own signals can help you distinguish between growth, fear, and misalignment. If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, imposter syndrome, comparison, or feeling like confidence comes naturally to everyone but you, this episode offers practical tools and a powerful perspective shift: Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Confidence Is a Skill 01:18 Sponsor Break 02:26 Meet Lilach Mendelovich 05:11 Performance Anxiety Statistics 06:12 Three Types of Confidence 09:12 Self-Worth vs. Confidence 11:17 Reframing Failure as Learning 17:06 The Science of Efficacy 20:56 Why Affirmations Often Fail 26:45 Building Confidence Through Small Wins 30:24 Presence, Connection & Authenticity 34:26 Befriending Your Nerves 38:49 Why Perfection Blocks Connection 40:30 Connection Over Perfection 41:39 Permission to Be Yourself 43:40 Leaning Into Your Natural Strengths 48:45 Midroll Break & Sponsors 50:33 Working With Anxiety Instead of Against It 53:08 Building Confidence One Step at a Time 55:39 Healthy vs. Toxic Comparison 59:59 Intrinsic Goals vs. External Validation 01:04:51 Peace, Confidence & Resilience 01:06:06 Interoception & Intuitive Self-Trust 01:08:32 Growth Discomfort vs. Misalignment 01:15:55 What Integrated Confidence Looks Like 01:17:20 A Daily Exercise for Building Confidence 01:20:49 Why Self-Compassion Matters 01:25:10 Closing Thoughts & Next Episode   Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Lilach Mendelovich here 👉🏽 Website: www.speak.lilachcoaching.com [http://www.speak.lilachcoaching.com] LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/lilach-mendelovich [http://www.linkedin.com/in/lilach-mendelovich] Get Lilach’s free From Panic to Presence guide here 👉🏽 https://speak.lilachcoaching.com/free/ [https://speak.lilachcoaching.com/free/]