Words as Spells — And Why I Won’t Correct Yours

You Were Groomed to Second Guess Yourself

This one has been sitting with me for a while. After seven months of coaching — six clients a week, hundreds of community interactions, thousands of YouTube comments — I started noticing a pattern. A lot of the people coming to me had not just one of these experiences. They had all three. A narcissistic family system. An abusive relationship. And at some point — a cult, or something very close to one. If that’s you, you already know there’s nothing to be ashamed of. And this episode is for you. I talk about what coercive control actually is — not physical violence, but the slower, more insidious manipulation that gets you to consent to things that go against your own interests. The afterlife as a fear tactic. The silent treatment as a tool. The moment I sat at a table with shaking hands eating salmon while someone I feared smiled across from me. I talk about cult psychology and why it mirrors narcissistic family systems almost exactly. About why people who grew up in controlling homes are more susceptible — not because they’re weak, but because they were trained. Trained to second guess themselves. Trained to ignore their intuition. Trained to use logic and pros and cons lists while their body was screaming the answer the whole time. I talk about my own experience with a Kundalini yoga studio that set my cult radar off from day one — and how I navigated it anyway with boundaries intact. And I talk about the book that changed how I understood intuition — Her Wits About Her — and why every woman in it said the same thing: something in my gut told me not to go there. Your intuition is your voice. And your physical voice is the fastest way back to it. 🎙️ Join The Healthy Voice Community → https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page] 📖 Voice Liberation Method → https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083 [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083] 📬 Free Vocal Guide → https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide [https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide] ✍️ Substack → www.thehealthyvoicewrites.com [http://www.thehealthyvoicewrites.com] TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Exploring the Concept of Cults 09:48 The Psychology of Coercive Control 20:06 Personal Experiences with Coercive Control 30:09 Navigating Spiritual and Social Communities In this episode: * Why cult psychology mirrors narcissistic family systems and abusive relationships * What coercive control actually is — and how it works without physical violence * The afterlife as a fear tactic — and why it works * The silent treatment as a form of coercion * A personal story about sacrificing a core value to appease a controlling partner * Why people who grew up in abusive family systems are more vulnerable to cults * The decision paralysis and overthinking that comes from growing up in volatile homes * How to engage with spiritual communities without surrendering your sovereignty * The book Her Wits About Her and what every survivor said about intuition * How your physical voice is the fastest path back to your intuition The Healthy Voice Writes is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. cults and trauma | coercive control | narcissistic family system | why people join cults | cult psychology | trauma and decision making | intuition and trauma | voice and intuition | abusive relationships recovery | trauma informed voice | why your voice went silent | Bella Payne | healthy voice podcast | sovereignty and healing | gaslighting recovery Get full access to The Healthy Voice Writes at rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe [https://rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Words as Spells — And Why I Won’t Correct Yours

Episode Description: I recorded this one directly in Substack — first time trying it, bear with me — and it turned into something I didn’t plan on. It started as a quick update. Two launches this week. A week where I had to cancel sessions and take care of myself. The first time since starting my channel that I didn’t post a YouTube video. And then it turned into a twenty-minute rabbit hole on the English language. Which, honestly, is exactly how my brain works. In this episode: The two launches: Vocal Recess is now available as a standalone purchase outside the community — seven weeks of play-based voice lessons including Romancing the Voice, Once Upon a Voice, a Shel Silverstein week, a punk rock week, and more. And THE FIFTH is now available as a standalone subscription for $5.99 a month, with four back issues included when you sign up. The Word Police article — and why correcting other people’s language, even with the best intentions, is a form of coercion. I’ve done it myself. I know how it lands. It doesn’t work, and it’s not as virtuous as it feels. The hidden history of English — and here I go deep. Queen Elizabeth I. Her court astrologer John Dee. The theory that English was designed to be the language of the angels — and possibly also designed to manipulate. The homophonic meanings hiding in plain sight: good morning as good mourning. The days of the week as the daze of the weak. Awake as a service for the dead. Raised, traced back to the antebellum South, meaning razed — burned to the ground to be rebuilt. I’ve been studying etymology obsessively for several years. I have a homophone dictionary. I spend time on Etymology Online following puns back to the Middle Ages. And what I keep finding is disturbing and fascinating in equal measure. The conclusion I’ve landed on: intention matters more than perfect pitch. Be discerning. Study your own language. But don’t stop someone mid-sentence to correct their vocabulary. That’s not wisdom. That’s exhausting for everyone, including you. Plus: Courage Circle update — ten people signed up to share their voices tomorrow. Which is exactly what this whole thing is for. Links mentioned: * Vocal Recess standalone — 7 weeks of play-based voice lessons: COMING SOON! * Subscribe to THE FIFTH — $5.99/month, 4 back issues included: https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/thefifthsub [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/thefifthsub] * Join The Healthy Voice Community: https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page] * Voice Liberation Method ($97): https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083 [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083] * Book a private session: https://calendly.com/hello-bellapayne/75 [https://calendly.com/hello-bellapayne/75] * Free Voice Guide: https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide [https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide] * Get 5% off harmoniums, sitars, shruti boxes, and tanpuras. https://olddelhimusic.com/collections/harmonium [https://olddelhimusic.com/collections/harmonium] Leave a comment: Are you someone who polices language — your own or other people’s? Have you ever noticed a word that disturbed you once you learned its history? I want to know. Subscribe and share if you made it to the end — it helps more people find their way here. Get full access to The Healthy Voice Writes at rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe [https://rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Anger Is Shame's Bodyguard

I recorded this one on a busy Friday in the middle of a family week — a college graduation, not enough hours, too many thoughts to let go. This week I put out a video on shame and the hips. The psoas muscle. The root and sacral chakras. And it went somewhere I didn’t expect — 54,000 views in 24 hours. Which told me something important: this is a topic people are starving to talk about and have never been given language for. I started this episode with a phrase I heard recently that stopped me cold. Anger is shame’s bodyguard. From there I went somewhere I wasn’t planning to go: the trolls. I’ve noticed something fascinating about the difference between the comment sections on my throat release videos versus the shame video. The throat videos brought out the perverts. Expected. Handled. No big deal. The shame video brought out something else entirely: rage. Profanity. The specific flavor of anger that belongs to someone whose shame just got poked — and who doesn’t know what to do with it except aim it outward. It was a live psychology study. And it told me exactly what I needed to know about who needs this work most — and why they’re the least likely to do it. In this episode: * What the psoas muscle has to do with shame — and why 54,000 people recognized it in their own bodies * The difference between the trolls who showed up on the throat videos versus the shame video — and what that difference reveals * Why talking about trauma and healing attracts both the courageous and the enraged * How shadow work changed the way I relate to ugly comments — and what would have happened to me three years ago if I’d seen them * Why pity, not attention, is the right response to the people who try to shame you for healing * And the lesson I keep learning: don’t sacrifice the work that’s helping hundreds of people to relieve the discomfort of the handful who are threatened by it Links mentioned: * Watch the shame and hips video: https://youtube.com/@thehealthyvoice [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJu5TKmPaag&lc=UgyIJUXWQnv007cb8Fx4AaABAg] * Join The Healthy Voice Community: https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page] * Voice Liberation Method ($97): https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083 [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083] * Book a private session: https://calendly.com/hello-bellapayne/75 [https://calendly.com/hello-bellapayne/75] * Free Voice Map Guide: https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide [https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide] Subscribe and leave a review — it helps more people find their way here. The Healthy Voice Writes is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to The Healthy Voice Writes at rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe [https://rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Words Are Spells — Whether You Believe It or Not

Some of you already know this. You’ve known it for a long time. Words carry vibrations. The emotional history behind a word changes how it lands in the body — yours and everyone else’s. And the words we use every day, without thinking, without questioning, are doing something to us whether we’re paying attention or not. This episode started as a reflection on Magic Spells Week in the community — a week of affirmations written in the style of Harry Potter spells. One person on YouTube didn’t like it. Unfollowed. And instead of apologizing, I got curious about my own reaction. Because here’s what I actually believe: there is no difference between a magic spell and a positive affirmation. They both use the organized power of words to craft a vibration and put a thought into reality. The only difference is the word we use to describe them. And that’s exactly the point. We also go into the etymology of the word “raise” — and what I found when I looked it up. The emotional weight of a foreign language versus your mother tongue. The programming embedded in everyday speech. And why I believe that figuring out where the manipulation lies is part of every hero’s journey. Technique matters. Breath support matters. Nervous system regulation matters. But if you want to take it to the next level — if you want to actually start creating your life — you have to go to the words. Leave a comment and tell me — is there a word you’ve always felt uncomfortable with but couldn’t explain why? I’d love to know. 🎙️ Join The Healthy Voice Community → https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page] 📖 Voice Liberation Method → https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083 [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083] 📬 Free Vocal Guide → https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide [https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide] ✍️ Substack → www.thehealthyvoicewrites.com [http://www.thehealthyvoicewrites.com] word magic and voice | power of words vibration | etymology and healing | language and trauma | affirmations vs spells | word frequency healing | trauma informed voice | esoteric history of language | voice and consciousness | healthy voice podcast | word magic substack | Bella Payne Get full access to The Healthy Voice Writes at rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe [https://rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Romancing Your Voice | How to Build a Daily Practice You Actually Want to Show Up For

This one started with a week called Romancing the Voice inside the Healthy Voice Community — and it turned into something much bigger. Daily practice is hard for most people. But it’s especially hard when you’ve been through something that made you stop trusting your own voice. Because what you’re being asked to do is show up alone, in a quiet room, with no distractions — just you and the sound you make. And for a lot of people, that’s where the Silencer shows up. The Silencer is the conglomeration of every critical voice you’ve ever encountered — assembled into one internal bully that shows up the moment you try to use your voice with any kind of vulnerability. And if you’re on a healing path, you know exactly what I’m talking about. In this episode we talk about three things: The Silencer — what it is, where it comes from, and the surprisingly effective trick of giving it a caricature face and a ridiculous voice. Mine looks like Pennywise. I read YouTube comments in the voice of Kermit the Frog. You’ll find your own version. The point is to zoom out enough to laugh at it — because laughter is the great neutralizer. The Gentle Parent — the counter-voice. The one that says you’re doing a great job, I’m so proud of you for showing up. If you didn’t have a parent like that, this is where you build one inside yourself. Not a pushover — a voice that disciplines from love rather than fear. Romancing the Discipline — why I use the word romance instead of discipline. Because discipline, in American English, implies punishment. And punishment is rooted in fear. Romance is rooted in love. And when you’re in love with something — a book series, a restaurant, a person — nothing else has power over you. That’s the energy you want to bring to your daily practice. This episode is the Wizard of Oz as a voice healing metaphor. Dorothy. Glinda. The trickster trees throwing apples. The flying monkeys. And the yellow brick road you keep walking down anyway. Leave a comment — what part landed most? The Silencer, the gentle parent, or the romance of daily practice? 🎙️ Join The Healthy Voice Community → https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page] 📖 Voice Liberation Method → https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083 [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083] 📅 Book a 1:1 Coaching Session → https://calendly.com/hello-bellapayne/75 [https://calendly.com/hello-bellapayne/75] 📬 Free Vocal Guide → https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide [https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide] ✍️ Substack → www.thehealthyvoicewrites.com [http://www.thehealthyvoicewrites.com] Community prices go up May 1st. Lock in your rate now. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction to Holistic Voice Teaching 02:52 The Impact of Trauma on Voice 05:47 Daily Practice and Overcoming Fear 11:58 Transforming the Silencer Voice 17:46 Gentle Parenting and Self-Compassion 23:42 Romancing the Discipline of Practice 29:38 Building a Long-Term Relationship with Your Voice In this episode: * Why daily vocal practice is especially hard after trauma * What the Silencer is and where it comes from * The caricature technique — giving your fear a face, name and ridiculous voice * Why laughter is the most powerful neutralizer of fear * The gentle parent voice — how to build it internally if you didn’t have it modeled * Why I use “romance” instead of “discipline” * The Wizard of Oz as a voice healing metaphor * Romancing the Voice week inside the Healthy Voice Community * The 30-day practice challenge and what comes next daily vocal practice | the silencer voice | trauma and voice healing | gentle parenting yourself | romancing your practice | how to build a daily practice | voice and trauma | somatic healing | fear of singing | trauma informed voice coaching | voice liberation | internal critic healing | wizard of oz metaphor healing | Bella Payne | healthy voice podcast The Voice Liberation Method is a self-paced course for people who know their voice has been holding something back — and are ready to find out what. Seven weeks. Nervous system science. Classical technique. Chakras and Guided Visualization. Hero’s Journey. Trauma-informed somatic work. All in one place. This isn’t about sounding better. It’s about coming home to the voice that was always yours. → Get the VLM for $97: VoiceLiberationMethod.com [https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083] The harmonium changed my practice. There’s something about the drone — it drops you into your body faster than almost anything else I know. I’ve had both of mine for years and I wouldn’t trade them. Old Delhi Music is where I got them. Colorado-based, independently owned, exceptional quality. → Use my link for 5% off your order https://bella-payne.kit.com/f76f7a876e [https://bella-payne.kit.com/f76f7a876e] Get full access to The Healthy Voice Writes at rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe [https://rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]