What Is Grief Privilege?

The Worst Lesbian Breakup Ever: Losing My Best Friend

This week on The Lesbian Breakup Podcast, Zara and Elina are joined by writer, professor, former podcast co-host, and Zara’s platonic life partner, dayna troisi [https://substack.com/profile/139349197-dayna-troisi]. What begins with tube-top-gate (it was actually underwear), giant strap-ons, failed threesomes, and lesbian chaos quickly becomes something much deeper: a conversation about friendship, divorce, self-medicating, codependency, chosen family, and the relationships that teach us what love is not supposed to feel like. We talk about the marriages that almost swallowed us whole, the friends who carried us through heartbreak (sometimes literally, in wheelchairs), and why the right relationship should feel more like hanging out with your best friend than escaping from your life. It’s funny. It’s messy. It’s super raw. And it’s one of our most personal episodes yet. Feel it ALL with us. Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe [https://zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

The Rainbow Bowtie: A Cautionary Tale

Happy Pride, darlings. In this Pride Month special, Zara Barrie [https://substack.com/profile/162921106-zara-barrie] and Elina Street [https://substack.com/profile/14190821-elina-street] swap cautionary tales from Prides past, including breakup relapses, ex-girlfriend run-ins, disastrous fashion choices, and questionable rainbow accessories. Along the way, they discuss the emotional chaos of Pride, the unique experience of seeing exes in the wild, why Brooklyn and Manhattan lesbians can sometimes be wildly different species, and whether Los Angeles is actually less judgmental than New York. Plus: Pride survival tips for newly-out lesbians, first-time Pride attendees, queer late bloomers, and anyone wondering how to navigate LGBTQ+ community spaces without losing their phone, their friends, or their mind. Topics include: Pride Month, lesbian culture, LGBTQ+ community, queer nightlife, lesbian breakups, ex-girlfriends, coming out later in life, Brooklyn Pride, NYC Pride, LA Pride, queer friendship, lesbian dating, Pride mistakes, and surviving your first Pride. Because sometimes Pride is liberation. And sometimes it’s relapse sex, heatstroke, and a rainbow bowtie. Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe [https://zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Our Top 5 Lesbian Awakenings, Ranked

Welcome to episode 9 of The Lesbian Breakup Podcast. [https://zarabarrie.substack.com/s/the-lesbian-breakup-podcast] This week, after emotionally detonating ourselves in last episode’s grief spiral [https://substack.com/@zarabarrie/note/p-196548814?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2ozyqa], we decided to offer both you AND ourselves a tiny reprieve. So naturally, we did the only logical thing: rank the formative gay experiences that turned us into lesbians. From Cleopatra to Gia, summer camp intensity to devastating dark friendship betrayals, France to suburban America, Elina and Zara each reveal the top five moments that made us realize, in increasingly dramatic fashion, “Oh. I’m not straight at ALL.” Then, because we are deeply unwell and extremely opinionated list-lovers, we *merge* our lists together into one definitive shared Top 5 Lesbian Awakenings ranking. This episode is funny, nostalgic, slightly heartbreaking, deeply revealing, and painfully earnest in the way only youth can be. A chaotic little trip down memory lane full of yearning, cinematic gay drama, and baby lesbian confusion. Come feel it all with us! Available on ALL platforms. Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe [https://zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

What Is Grief Privilege?

Co-hosts Elina Street [https://substack.com/profile/14190821-elina-street] and Zara Barrie [https://substack.com/profile/162921106-zara-barrie] are *finally* back together and feeling it all… What happens when grief becomes a privilege? On this week’s episode, recorded on Zara’s 40th birthday [https://zarabarrie.substack.com/p/forty-finally], we get deep on grief, loss, and the unexpected clarity that comes after everything burns down. Zara opens up about what it meant to be a full-time caretaker for her mother, the surreal “business of death” that nobody warns you about, and why the silence after loss can feel both terrifying and like the first real breath you’ve taken in months. We talk about grief brain, the friends who show up and the ones who don’t, and why giving people space is not always the gift you think it is. We also get into grief privilege; the idea that knowing loss lets you into a different playground entirely, one where things that used to matter suddenly don’t, and the things that do matter become unshakeable. Whether you’re navigating a breakup, losing a parent, processing a friendship that fell apart, or just trying to find yourself on the other side of something hard — this one is for you. Grab a tissue, and know that you are not alone, and remember to feel it all. Crying is sexy. Every other Tuesday. We love you and thank you so dearly for your support. AVAILABLE ON SUBSTACK, [https://zarabarrie.substack.com/s/the-lesbian-breakup-podcast] SPOTIFY [https://open.spotify.com/show/1XRAsDKFDl97PlXJ8tSbrk?si=f5e223f306af4611], AND APPLE PODS. [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-lesbian-breakup-podcast/id1872192055] Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe [https://zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

10 Ways To Avoid A Bad Lesbian Breakup

In this raw, unfiltered episode, Emmy-winning director and co-host Elina opens up about navigating rejection (professional and romantic), writing a love letter that never arrived, and why she’s still hung up on someone she probably shouldn’t be. But this isn’t a spiral, it’s a Virgo’s dream, a well thought-out list that will especially help if you’re currently healing from a situationship. Elina breaks down her 10 Rules for Avoiding a Bad Lesbian Breakup: from situationships that were never actually casual, to why saying “I love you” too soon is an oxytocin trap, to the one question she now asks herself before tolerating anything — would I let a friend get away with this? Plus: the bag of rice theory of relationships, why first impressions are everything, and what it actually means to own yourself on a Friday night. Zara is dearly missed — we will be back together very soon. 🎙️ All are welcome. Because no one understands heartbreak like a lesbian. Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe [https://zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]