Not Everyone Deserves Unlimited Access to You | The Loneliness Cure Ep. 7

Not Everyone Deserves Unlimited Access to You | The Loneliness Cure Ep. 7

Saying yes to everyone is saying no to yourself. In this episode, Maya and Malikiya dive into the uncomfortable truth about boundaries versus people-pleasing, and why setting boundaries isn't selfish, it's survival. They break down how people-pleasing leads to burnout, undercharging, and resentment. They talk about Jesus having boundaries (yes, even Jesus said no), getting in God's way by trying to save people, and why strangers often respect you more than the people closest to you. Here's what we talk about: PEOPLE-PLEASING = BURNOUT Malikiya has gotten better at saying no to people, but she's still burning out by staying busy with tasks that could wait. Maya still struggles with saying yes to friends because she doesn't want them to feel some type of way, even when she's exhausted. HOW OVERGIVING AFFECTS YOUR INCOME Malikiya breaks down how people-pleasing affects her income: When she overgives time and energy, her mental capacity depletes. Thinking hurts. She can't create, articulate, or show up fully. And when your income is based on creativity, that's a problem. UNDERCHARGING OUT OF GUILT Malikiya admits she undercharges because she knows she'll be depleted halfway through. She feels guilty knowing she won't be able to give her best, so she lowers her price from the jump. But her work is still high quality, she's just hard on herself. JESUS HAD BOUNDARIES Maya reminds us: Jesus had very strong boundaries. So where has God told you to step back? For Malikiya, it's control, trying to orchestrate life instead of just observing and letting things unfold. GETTING IN GOD'S WAY Maya shares a powerful realization: Sometimes when you try to "save" people, you're getting in God's way. They might need to go to that low place to find Him. You might be preventing them from building their own relationship with God by trying to be God in their life. NATURAL VS. FORCED GOD CONVERSATIONS Malikiya asks: How do you know when God is prompting you to help someone vs. you just trying to fix them? Maya explains the difference, when God prompts it, it happens naturally in conversation. When you force it, people push back. BOUNDARIES CREATE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Having boundaries helps you show up better AND helps you see who people really are. If someone knows your boundary and keeps crossing it, they're either not emotionally intelligent, they don't care, or they lack confidence to ask for clarification. Either way, it tells you who they are. STRANGERS RESPECT YOU MORE THAN FRIENDS Malikiya points out something wild: Strangers can give you full respect without thinking about it, but people who know you cross your boundaries repeatedly. If a stranger can respect you without being told, why are you accepting less from people who claim to love you? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THERE ARE NO BOUNDARIES? Your life isn't yours. People dictate your choices. They take advantage and feel no remorse. You feel unseen and uncared for. And eventually, you cut people off. Then they say "you changed." No, they didn't listen. NOT EVERYONE DESERVES UNLIMITED ACCESS TO YOU It's hard to pull back access because you feel like you're hurting people. But you'll be a better person because of it. You'll treat people better because you're not carrying so much. New episodes every Monday. Follow us: Instagram/TikTok: @thelonelinesscurepod Texas Sistas Society: @txsistasociety Shoutouts: ZayD Productions - Camera, lighting, production The Concord - Austin, TX (Pershing East Coffee Shop) - Recording venue Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode.

I Said No to Money and Found Peace Instead (feat. K) | The Loneliness Cure Ep. 6

What if slowing down meant saying no to money? In this episode, Maya and Malikiya sit down with Keocha (K) LaFleur-Anders, founder and CEO of Coffee Milk Media, curator of Reset With K, and executive producer of TEDx Round Rock Women, to talk about the hardest lesson in building sustainable success: changing your pace. K breaks down what it actually takes to design your life instead of letting life run you, how to set boundaries without being the bad guy, and the question every community builder needs to ask themselves: "What do I really want?" Here's what we talk about: DESIGNING YOUR LIFE VS. LETTING LIFE RUN YOU K shares how she shifted from fitting her life around business to fitting business around her life. The hardest part? Saying no to money. Turning down opportunities. Missing networking events. Making sacrifices (her hair was in a bun for months). But the result? Peace. SURVIVAL MODE AFTER BEING LAID OFF When Dell "broke up with her" (though she wanted to break up with them anyway), K went into full survival mode. She felt panic and urgency in her body. Started the publishing company and hit it hard, but nothing was landing. She was moving fast, but moving from anxiety, not intention. HOW SURVIVAL MODE SHOWS UP IN YOUR BODY Survival mode isn't just financial. It affected her mental health (anxiety, hard to think through things), emotional regulation (reacting instead of responding), and relationships. Everything was connected. THE FORCED RESET God had to force the reset. Losing their dog. A car accident. Her husband's health issues. When she wouldn't listen, God made her slow down. WHO IS K WHEN SHE'S NOT WORKING? Movie fanatic. Hiking. Fishing. Taking nature photos with her iPhone. Very introverted. She "sticks and moves", connects people, then backs away to preserve creative energy. COMMUNITY BUILDERS ARE INTROVERTS K believes most community builders are introverts. They're connectors by nature, but they need alone time to recharge. The key? Communicating that to people so they don't take it personally. SETTING BOUNDARIES WITHOUT BEING THE BAD GUY K learned to communicate boundaries after hurting someone's feelings. She went back and explained: "I get overwhelmed easily. I need to step back or I won't be a good friend to you." The lesson? Communicate. Don't over-explain. Don't ask permission. Just be clear. HOW PEOPLE RESPOND TO YOUR BOUNDARIES People will say "choose yourself" and "prioritize your peace", until you actually do it. Some people will understand. Some will take it personally. K's approach? Trust that what's not for you will fall off. You can't control how people receive your boundaries. THE JOURNAL QUESTION "What do I REALLY want?" Not what people expect. Not what someone else wants for you. Not the narrative placed on you. What do YOU want? What's sustainable? What gives you joy and peace? K challenges: Is this what you really want, or is this what people told you you should want? New episodes every Monday. Follow K: LinkedIn: Keocha LaFleur-Anders https://www.linkedin.com/in/k-lafleur-anders/ Coffee Milk Media: https://www.linkedin.com/company/coffee-milk-media/ Follow us: Instagram/TikTok: @thelonelinesscurepod Texas Sistas Society: @txsistasociety Shoutouts: Zay D Productions - Camera, lighting, production https://www.instagram.com/zay_d_productions/ THe Concord - Austin, TX - Recording venue https://www.instagram.com/ridetheconcord/ Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode.

Are You Being Yourself or Just Performing? | The Loneliness Cure Ep. 5

You're performing. And everyone can tell. In this episode, Maya and Malikiya dive into the uncomfortable truth about performing versus being authentic, and why so many of us have forgotten how to just be ourselves. They break down how performing shows up in health, wealth, and everyday life: posting gym pics for the aesthetic but seeing no results, buying things you don't want because "that's the next step," spending 1.5 hours getting ready every day because you think you have to, and going into debt to maintain an image that wasn't even yours to begin with. Here's what we talk about: HEALTH & FITNESS PERFORMANCE Why you've been in the gym for 4 months but still have the same physique. The difference between posting workout pics and actually putting in the work. How your body is built outside the gym (diet matters). Why not everyone needs high-intensity workouts, some of us just need to walk. Finding what works for YOUR body instead of copying what you see on social media. THE SOCIAL MEDIA EPIDEMIC How the algorithm has made performing a baseline expectation. Why scrolling constantly has taken away your ability to think for yourself. The pressure to keep up with what you're seeing, even when it's not part of your story. How FOMO makes you feel like something's wrong when nothing actually is. LIFE TIMELINES & EXPECTATIONS The pressure to have a house, kids, and marriage by 30. Buying things because "that's the next step", not because you actually want them. Why it's okay to not want what everyone else has. How everyone's path is different, and that's not a problem. LIVING IN ANSWERED PRAYERS How you're living in something you prayed for a few years ago (but now you're praying for more and feeling like you're behind). The reality of independence: "Mom, this is what the bills look like?!" Why what you have is BIG to somebody els, even if it feels small to you. THE VALUE OF BEING AUTHENTIC Somebody needs the REAL you, not the act you're putting on. The exhaustion of turning it on and off. Why being yourself gives you freedom. How someone out there feels like something is wrong with them because they can't find anyone else who acts like you do. MOM LESSONS How their moms taught them to be themselves by BEING themselves (no makeup, no eyebrows done, leaving the house "any kinda way"). Letting kids choose their own style (one daughter rocks Spider-Man shirts, the other is a girly-girl). Why molding kids into what YOU wanted robs them of finding who they're supposed to be. THRIFT STORE WINS How they had all the name brands in high school, from the thrift store. Finding deals at Ross while everyone else pays full price. Why you don't have to go into debt to look good. This episode will make you rethink what you're doing because everyone else is doing it, and give you permission to just be yourself. Stay tuned for Part 2 (because they didn't cover everything). New episodes every Monday. Follow us: Instagram/TikTok: @thelonelinesscure Texas Sistas Society: @txsistasociety Shoutouts: Zay D Productions - Camera, lighting, production The Concord - Austin, TX (Pershing East Coffee Shop) - Recording venue Subscribe so you don't miss Part 2.

What's Keeping You Stuck? Passive vs. Intentional Living | The Loneliness Cure Ep. 4

EPISODE 4: What's Keeping You Stuck? Passive vs. Intentional Living | The Loneliness Cure Ep. 4 Are you living intentionally or just riding on E? In this episode, Maya and Malikiya break down the difference between being passive and being intentional, and how it shows up in community building, health, wealth, and faith. This might be their best episode yet. Real talk about 75 Hard, financial discipline, building faith community, and why looking good helps you feel good even on hard days. WHAT IS PASSIVE VS. INTENTIONAL? Passive = Cruising through life, letting things happen, riding on Jesus (when you're running on E but haven't stopped for gas yet) Intentional = Having a plan, knowing where you're going, seeking out what you need instead of hoping it falls into place HOW IT SHOWS UP: BUILDING COMMUNITY Passive: Having ideas but never executing with structure Intentional: Planning dates, creating systems, making people feel seen at events They don't let people stand alone at events, they break the ice, start conversations, and make sure everyone feels welcomed. Because for some people, showing up WAS the brave thing. HEALTH The 75 Hard Challenge changed their lives. 75 days of strict diet, gym twice a day, reading, no alcohol, waking up at 5 AM. It became the turning point for the next 3 years, better eating, consistent workouts, emotional awareness, and realizing who they were bonding with through drinking vs. real connection. WEALTH Both struggle with financial intentionality, budgeting well, then spending sprees, then playing catch-up. Learning to spend on themselves without guilt. Recognizing the pattern of deprivation followed by balling out. FAITH Passive: Bible reading becomes routine and boring, prayers become repetitive Intentional: Listening to the same sermon all week to really absorb it, building church community through Bible study and serving Building faith community requires the MOST intentionality because you have to consciously sign up, show up, and engage. WHERE THEY'RE PASSIVE: Making their own connections. Overthinking reaching out to people. Talking themselves out of sending messages. Getting comfortable being alone and forgetting they need community too. KEY TOPICS: Intro & Icebreaker: Recurring dreams What does passive vs. intentional mean? How it shows up in building community Health: The 75 Hard transformation Wealth: Financial intentionality struggles Faith: Bible reading, sermons, church community Being intentional at events (breaking the ice) Where they're passive (making connections) THIS EPISODE IS FOR: Anyone coasting through life without a plan, community builders who need structure, people struggling with financial discipline, anyone trying to build faith community, introverts who overthink reaching out to people. CONNECT: Instagram: @thelonelinesscure TikTok: @thelonelinesscure — Maya & Malikiya, Founders of Texas Sistas Society KEYWORDS: passive vs intentional, community building, 75 hard challenge, financial discipline, faith community, building church community, health and fitness journey, budgeting tips, intentional living, community builder tips

Community is Not about You | Episode 3

EPISODE 3: Community Is Not About You The hardest truth about building community? It's not about you. At all. Maya and Malikiya break down why successful community builders must shift from artist mindset (serving yourself) to creator mindset (serving your people). This episode is packed with real talk about filling needs, trusting God's plan, and building something bigger than yourself. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: Artist vs. Creator Mindset - Artists create for themselves. Creators serve a group. To build community, you must be a creator, thinking about what your people need, not just what you want. Fill a Gap That Exists - Texas Sistas Society exists because there wasn't a space for Black women and women of color in Austin to gather. If you're looking for it, others are too. Find the hole and fill it. Create an Avatar for Your Audience - Give them a name. Build out their life. "Tina works 9-5, has 2 kids, loves free activities." When planning, ask: "Would Tina come to this?" This keeps you focused on serving, not self-indulging. It's Okay If You'd Join Your Community - Start with ideas you were searching for. But then let community feedback guide you. They asked for snacks on walks, we never thought of that. Listen and adapt. Trust That You'll Attract the Right People - They cater to Black women but welcome everyone. Collaboration events bring in different groups. Let God handle who shows up. Don't stress about attracting a specific person. Faith Keeps You Going When Growth Feels Slow - Both introverts pushed outside their comfort zones. This is a calling. Whether growth is fast or slow, they're learning and exactly where they're supposed to be. Asking for Financial Support vs. Waiting on God - The tension between asking the community for support and trusting God to provide. They work together, God sends help, but you have to recognize it and not block your blessings. THIS EPISODE IS FOR: Community builders who struggle with making it about them, event organizers trying to serve their audience better, faith-based entrepreneurs balancing trust and action, people who need permission to ask for support. CONNECT: Instagram: @thelonelinesscure TikTok: @thelonelinesscure Subscribe and review to help other community builders find this conversation. — Maya & Malikiya, Founders of Texas Sistas Society