Episode 20: Sexual Orientation vs. Erotic Orientation & Why It Matters

Episode 24: Love vs. Limerence — What’s Really Driving Your Heart?

In this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, Bethany untangles love and limerence: what each is, how they feel in the brain and in daily life, how one helps—or harms—relationships, and practical steps to recognize and respond to limerence if it shows up. Includes clinical and neuroscience references for listeners who want to dive deeper. Connect with me! Instagram [http://instagram.com/modernmilfpodcast]  TikTok [http://tiktok.com/modernmilfpodcast]  Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/themodernmilfpodcast] Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com [lovewithbethany@gmail.com] To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree [http://linktree.com/modernmilfpodcast] Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany Theme music by MobyGratis References * Tennov D. Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Stein & Day; 1979.  * Sternberg RJ. A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review. 1986;93(2):119–135.  * Hazan C, Shaver P. Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 1987;52(3):511–524. * Acevedo BP, Aron A, Fisher HE, Brown LL. Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience. 2012;7(2):145–159. * Fisher H. Lust, attraction, and attachment in mammalian reproduction. Human Nature. 1998;9(1):23–52.  * Bode A, Dando O, et al. Proximate and ultimate perspectives on romantic love. Frontiers in Psychology. 2021.  * Hatfield E, Rapson RL. Passionate and Companionate Love. In: Handbook of Theories of Social Psychology. 2016. (On passionate love scales and overlap with limerence.)  * Acevedo et al., “Does a Long-Term Relationship Kill Romantic Love?” (Review literature on romantic love across time.)  * Clinical/therapy resources on intrusive thoughts and CBT approaches for rumination: standard CBT references and reviews (e.g., National Institute for Health and Care Excellence guidance on anxiety and CBT—consult local guidance for specifics).

Episode 23: Erotic Habits: The Secret to Better Sex in Long-Term Relationships

Do you ever miss the version of your relationship where flirting felt effortless, chemistry felt electric, and sex didn’t require a calendar invite? In this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, we’re talking about erotic habits—the small, intentional things couples do that create more connection, more anticipation, and yes… way better sex. Because here’s the truth: passionate relationships aren’t usually built on luck or “spontaneous chemistry.” They’re built through habits. We’ll unpack the science behind desire, why so many women in long-term relationships feel disconnected from their sexuality, and the surprisingly simple shifts that can bring intimacy back online. You’ll learn: * Why good sex in long-term relationships is intentional * The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire * How motherhood, stress, and mental load impact libido * Erotic habits that increase connection and attraction * Why flirting matters—even after years together * How anticipation can completely change your sex life If you’ve been craving more intimacy, more desire, and more fun in your relationship—this episode is for you. Connect with me! Instagram [http://instagram.com/modernmilfpodcast]  TikTok [http://tiktok.com/modernmilfpodcast]  Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/themodernmilfpodcast] Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com [lovewithbethany@gmail.com] To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree [http://linktree.com/modernmilfpodcast] Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany Theme music by MobyGratis References * Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski * Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel * Research on relationship quality and sexual satisfaction in long-term partnerships * Research on responsive desire, emotional intimacy, and women’s sexual wellbeing * Work by Peggy Kleinplatz on optimal sexual experiences in committed relationships * - Basson R. The female sexual response: a different model. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 2000;26(1):51–65.   * - Muise, A., Schimmack, U., & Impett, E. (Year). Title on interpersonal dynamics of sexual desire and desire discrepancy. [Replace with full citation/DOI in show notes].   * - Aron, A., et al. Research on intimacy and interpersonal closeness and its role in romantic relationships. [Include full citation/DOI].   * - Master, M., et al. Studies on mindfulness/sensate-focus interventions and sexual function. [Include full citation/DOI].   * - Lehmiller, J. Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How to Bring It to Life. (2020).   * - McNulty, J.K., & Widman, L. Research on affectionate touch and relationship outcomes. [Include full citation/DOI].   * - Wood, W., Tam, L., & Witt, M.G. Changing circumstances, disrupting habits. [Include full citation].   * - Reviews/meta-analyses on attachment, sexual satisfaction, and oxytocin release following touch. [Include specific citations/DOIs]. * - Sensate Focus protocol — Masters & Johnson-derived therapeutic approaches (clinical resources/handouts).

Episode 22: How Turning Grief into Motivation Can Reshape Your Life

Grief can feel like it stops your world—but what if it could also reshape it? In this deeply personal episode, I share my experience of losing my best friend and explore how grief, while painful and disorienting, can become a source of clarity, purpose, and motivation. Drawing on psychological research and therapeutic frameworks, this episode unpacks how to honor loss without bypassing it—and how to move forward while still carrying love with you. If you’re navigating grief, this conversation offers grounded, compassionate insight into what it means to rebuild, reorient, and reconnect with what truly matters. Connect with me! Instagram [http://instagram.com/modernmilfpodcast]  TikTok [http://tiktok.com/modernmilfpodcast]  Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/themodernmilfpodcast] Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com [lovewithbethany@gmail.com] To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree [http://linktree.com/modernmilfpodcast] Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany Theme music by MobyGratis Sources & References * Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On Grief and Grieving * Bonanno, G. A. (2009). The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss * Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). “Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence” (Psychological Inquiry) * Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K., & Wilson, K. G. (2011). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy * Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (1999). Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement (Death Studies) * McAdams, D. P. (2001). “The Psychology of Life Stories” (Review of General Psychology) * Neimeyer, R. A. (2001). Meaning Reconstruction & the Experience of Loss * Field, N. P. (2006). Continuing Bonds in Adaptation to Bereavement (Death Studies)

Episode 21: Celebrating the Historical Research of Women's Sexuality & Pleasure

This episode is dedicated to and in remembrance of my lifelong best friend, Melissa.  For centuries, women’s sexuality was misunderstood, medicalized, and often ignored by science. But over the past hundred years, groundbreaking researchers have transformed our understanding of female pleasure, desire, and sexual health. In this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, I explore the fascinating history of women’s sexuality research—from Alfred Kinsey’s revolutionary reports to the laboratory studies of Masters and Johnson, the feminist insights of Shere Hite, and modern models of female desire. I’ll share how science has challenged myths about women’s pleasure, why understanding female sexuality matters for relationships and health, and why the researchers who dared to study it deserve to be celebrated. If you’ve ever wondered how we came to understand female desire the way we do today, this episode is for you. Commercial Sponsor: BADFOXXX Lust Between Us Couples Card Game, use the link below: https://lustbetweenus.com/modernmilf [https://lustbetweenus.com/modernmilf] Connect with me! Instagram [http://instagram.com/modernmilfpodcast]  TikTok [http://tiktok.com/modernmilfpodcast]  Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/themodernmilfpodcast] Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com [lovewithbethany@gmail.com] To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree [http://linktree.com/modernmilfpodcast] Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany Theme music by MobyGratis References (Cited Sources) Basson, R. (2001). Using a different model for female sexual response to address women’s problematic low sexual desire. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. Hite, S. (1976). The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality. Kaplan, H. S. (1977). Hypoactive Sexual Desire. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. Kinsey, A. C., Pomeroy, W., & Martin, C. (1953). Sexual Behavior in the Human Female. Masters, W. H., & Johnson, V. E. (1966). Human Sexual Response. Masters, W. H., & Johnson, V. E. (1970). Human Sexual Inadequacy. Levin, R. J. (2022). Masters and Johnson – their unique contribution to sexology. BJPsych Advances. Campbell, R. (2026). Writing on Shere Hite and feminist sexuality research.  https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2025/8/20/celebrating-the-history-of-womens-sexuality-research/ [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2025/8/20/celebrating-the-history-of-womens-sexuality-research/] https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/bjpsych-advances/article/masters-johnson-their-unique-contribution-to-sexology/7D0F859B47D0EB589C21E37EFFABD597 [https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/bjpsych-advances/article/masters-johnson-their-unique-contribution-to-sexology/7D0F859B47D0EB589C21E37EFFABD597] https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2026/03/09/shere-hite-and-the-hite-report-rosa-campbell-book-review [https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2026/03/09/shere-hite-and-the-hite-report-rosa-campbell-book-review] chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.med.unc.edu/ppru/wp-content/uploads/sites/898/2018/11/A-systematic-review-of-the-literature-on-female-sexual-dysfunction-prevalence-and-predictors.pdf [https://www.med.unc.edu/ppru/wp-content/uploads/sites/898/2018/11/A-systematic-review-of-the-literature-on-female-sexual-dysfunction-prevalence-and-predictors.pdf] https://srinivasaiims.com/helen-singer-kaplans-psychological-prism-revolutionizing-the-understanding-of-sexual-health/ [https://srinivasaiims.com/helen-singer-kaplans-psychological-prism-revolutionizing-the-understanding-of-sexual-health/] https://srinivasaiims.com/rosemary-bassons-circular-model-redefining-female-sexuality/ [https://srinivasaiims.com/rosemary-bassons-circular-model-redefining-female-sexuality/]

Episode 20: Sexual Orientation vs. Erotic Orientation & Why It Matters

In this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, I unpack the difference between sexual orientation — who you are attracted to — and erotic orientation — what turns you on sexually. Drawing on research in sexology and social psychology (including surveys by Dr. Justin Lehmiller), I explore why these dimensions of human sexuality don’t always match, and how that understanding can support greater self-acceptance, better communication, and healthier relationships. Commercial Sponsor: BADFOXXX Lust Between Us Couples Card Game, use the link below: https://lustbetweenus.com/modernmilf [https://lustbetweenus.com/modernmilf] Connect with me! Instagram [http://instagram.com/modernmilfpodcast]  TikTok [http://tiktok.com/modernmilfpodcast]  Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/themodernmilfpodcast] Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com [lovewithbethany@gmail.com] To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree [http://linktree.com/modernmilfpodcast] Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany Theme music by MobyGratis References (Cited Sources) * https://www.apa.org/monitor/apr01/erotic [https://www.apa.org/monitor/apr01/erotic] * https://joekort.com/erotic-orientation-helping-couples-individuals-understand-their-sexual-lives/ [https://joekort.com/erotic-orientation-helping-couples-individuals-understand-their-sexual-lives/] *  https://heyemma.com/sexual-orientation-vs-erotic-orientation/?utm_source=chatgpt.com [https://heyemma.com/sexual-orientation-vs-erotic-orientation/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] * https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-the-erotic-code/202209/the-important-intersection-mental-and-sexual-health [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-the-erotic-code/202209/the-important-intersection-mental-and-sexual-health] * https://kinseyinstitute.org/ [https://kinseyinstitute.org/] * https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bdsm [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bdsm]