Practicing Care in an Imperfect System with Dr. Ono Nseyo

Demystifying the Mental Load with Paige Connell

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com [http://keelysemler.substack.com/]. Today’s guest is Paige Connell, a working mother of four whose thoughtful online presence brings much needed honesty and clarity to conversations about contemporary family life. We explore the mental load, the unseen work of keeping a family running, and how it shapes our wellbeing, our relationships, and our sense of self. And importantly, the mental load isn’t limited to marriage or parenting; it shows up in all kinds of interpersonal relationships. We discuss how gender norms, the undervaluing of caregiving, and the “good mother” myth place disproportionate responsibility on women, often leading to loneliness, burnout, and tension in partnerships. We also examine the broader forces at play; rising childcare costs, the essential but invisible labor that makes paid work possible, the glamorization of trad wives on social media, and the need for stronger policies like affordable childcare and paid leave. In the extended interview, Paige gives her personal take on social media, both as an influencer and as a parent, and how she plans to navigate her own children’s exposure to it. This conversation looks at how making family life more equitable can strengthen the whole wellbeing of a household, improve the workplace, and shift the cultural expectations placed on women and families. Paige is a working mother who shares relatable content on TikTok and Instagram, highlighting the everyday experiences of women balancing motherhood, careers, and relationships. Known for her candid insights on the mental load of motherhood and the challenges of creating equity at home and work, Paige’s content resonates with millions. She also advocates for affordable childcare, paid leave, and reproductive rights, sparking important conversations about what families need to thrive. Her impactful voice and relatable storytelling have led to features in Scary Mommy, The Today Show, Good Morning America, and more. If you love the Motherlands Podcast, please help us keep it alive by becoming a paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com. 2:26 Conversations for a fair life with your partner 5:18 Mental load & the never ending to-do list 8:27 Societal gender bias’ skew of the mental load 12:09 How the lack of value placed on caregiving can shape identity & self-worth 14:47 The good mother myth 19:56 Loneliness and finding community in motherhood 25:03 How the distribution of labor affects partnership & intimacy 27:58 Therapy: the stigma for emotional unveiling for men 30:22 Nobody can be at work without people providing care and labor at home Behind Closed Doors Extended Interview for Paid Subscribers includes: 33:43 The implications of rising childcare costs and monetizing care 39:26 The vicious cycle and social media glamour fallacy of being a trad wife 42:31 Social media literacy, drawbacks, possibilities, and algorithms 47:28 How domestic labor impacts relationships of shared living 50:26 Affordable childcare & paid leave MOTHERLANDS Membership Waitlist [http://www.wearemotherlands.com/] Connect with Paige Connell: IG [https://www.instagram.com/sheisapaigeturner/] Tiktok [https://www.tiktok.com/@sheisapaigeturner] Substack [https://substack.com/@sheisapaigeturner] Free Guide [https://paigeconnell.myflodesk.com/freeguide] Website [https://www.sheisapaigeturner.com/] Follow The Motherlands Podcast [https://www.instagram.com/we.are.motherlands/] Your support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest thresholds. Can’t subscribe right now? You can still – Leave a review on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-motherlands-podcast/id1806705974]– Subscribe to [http://keelysemler.substack.com/] Motherlands [http://keelysemler.substack.com/] on Substack [http://keelysemler.substack.com/]– Follow us on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@WeAreMotherlands/shorts]– Share an episode with a friend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe [https://keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Art as Medicine with Kristen Lee Gutoskie

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com [http://keelysemler.substack.com/]. Today’s guest is actress, singer, and mother Kristen Gutoskie, and we’re having an honest conversation about what motherhood really feels like once you’re in the thick of it. We explore how she’s learned to trust herself, stay creative and find her footing in parenthood. Kristen opens up about the mental load; the invisible emotional work of keeping a family moving, the vulnerability of sharing her creative projects, and the ongoing challenge of being both a present mom and a whole person with dreams of her own. This episode is a reminder that you’re not alone, and that there’s real beauty in figuring things out as you grow into this new version of yourself. Kristen Lee Gutoskie is a SAG nominated actor known for her roles in the Emmy winning show The Handmaid’s Tale, Chicago Fire, The Vampire Diaries, Narco’s Mexico, Containment, and Lethal Weapon. She is also a musician and has written and recorded music for projects she has starred in, including CW’s Containment and Hulu film The Dust Storm. Her first music single “Stardust” under her shortened name Lee Gutoskie [https://open.spotify.com/track/4aTomBvf4z4Q3eRBiKWKG1] was released earlier this year. If you love the Motherlands Podcast, please help us keep it alive by becoming a paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com. 3:00 The expectations of motherhood vs the realities 4:12 Gaining control of yourself and surrendering control of everything/everyone else 7:56 Trusting your intuition and instincts 9:28 Connecting parenthood to childhood 10:53 Honesty in creativity and what it means to be seen 14:56 Following joy and passion 17:45 Creative process, intention, and the vulnerability of sharing something you have created 21:11 Legacy and the remembering of art, family, and truth 23:15 What really matters in parenthood 25:18 Navigating comparison 28:15 Holding both being a mom and being your own person Behind Closed Doors Extended Interview Includes: 31:44 The responsibility of the artist in socially relevant work 33:30 Media representation of intimacy, birth, and motherhood 36:14 Navigating technology, privacy, and family 40:13 The evolution of your connection with your partner 44:41 Sharing the mental load 47:24 Letting yourself flow in parenthood and creativity Work with Keely [https://www.keelysemler.com/trainingandmentorship] MOTHERLANDS: Online Education Program [http://www.wearemotherlands.com/] 20% off code MOTHERLANDSPOD Connect with Kristen Gutoskie: Music [http://Linktr.ee/leegutoskie] IMDB [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0349663/] Social: instagram: @kristenleegutoskie [https://www.instagram.com/kristenleegutoskie/], tiktok: @leegutoskie [https://www.tiktok.com/@leegutoskie] Recent film: https://www.mylifetime.com/movies/i-was-octomom-the-natalie-suleman-story [https://www.mylifetime.com/movies/i-was-octomom-the-natalie-suleman-story] Next film with Kristen to be released soon: https://takethemoneyandrunproduction.com/million/press/english/ [https://takethemoneyandrunproduction.com/million/press/english/] Follow our Host, Keely Semler [https://www.instagram.com/k.eelys/] Follow The Motherlands Podcast [https://www.instagram.com/we.are.motherlands/] Your support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments. Can’t subscribe right now? You can still – Leave a review on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-motherlands-podcast/id1806705974]– Subscribe to [http://keelysemler.substack.com/] Motherlands [http://keelysemler.substack.com/] on Substack [http://keelysemler.substack.com/]– Follow us on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@WeAreMotherlands/shorts]– Share an episode with a friend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe [https://keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Practicing Care in an Imperfect System with Dr. Ono Nseyo

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com [http://keelysemler.substack.com/]. Today’s guest is board-certified OB/GYN Dr. Ono Nseyo. We cover a wide range of women’s health topics, from birth control to the lack of women’s health research. We also talk about the gaps in prenatal nutrition education in medical training and the missed opportunities this creates for clinicians. We explore the importance of shared decision-making with patients, including how Dr. Nseyo navigates situations when a patient’s choice differs from her medical recommendation. One of the reasons I love this conversation is that Dr. Ono never pretends to have all the answers. Her honesty and humility are refreshing, especially in a field where overconfidence can overshadow curiosity and connection. In the extended interview, Dr. Nseyo speaks candidly about the pressures and limitations of modern medicine, the need to honor matrescence (the profound physical, psychological and emotional process of becoming a mother) and why postpartum care deserves more attention and support from clinicians. Resources from this episode: * For more on women’s health research, check out this episode with Katie Schubert from the Society for Women’s Health Research. [https://open.substack.com/pub/keelysemler/p/the-shocking-truth-about-womens-health?r=2z8l1w&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false] * Read this article [https://open.substack.com/pub/keelysemler/p/stop-making-women-pay-the-price?r=2z8l1w&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false] on how insurance companies are medicalizing the role of doulas to profit from them. * Join us for a roundtable discussion [https://motherlands.myflodesk.com/vuw5bq2p4m] with Dr. Nseyo and midwife Nancy Beyda. Dr. Ono Nseyo is a board-certified OB/GYN and Medical Director of Women’s Health for Sutter East Bay Medical Group, where she leads efforts to expand access and equity in healthcare. Rooted in advocacy and compassion, her practice bridges clinical expertise with a deep commitment to maternal health and systemic change. She is also the host of Golden Hour.FM [https://www.youtube.com/@GoldenHourFM], a podcast that amplifies the many different voices and experiences of childbirth. If you love the Motherlands Podcast, please help us keep it alive by becoming a paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com. 4:15 Birth control 9:09 Keely’s experience of being pushed to take birth control for hormonal acne in adolescence & the need more women’s health research 14:17 The black hole of nutrition in Western medical school 20:13 Med school: from an algorithmic binary approach to patient-centered, shared decision-making care 24:16 What is medical informed consent? 27:09 Honoring patient autonomy 43:27 The difficulties and frustrations of being a medical professional Behind Closed Doors Extended Interview Includes: 44:24 How medical insurance companies negatively impact the way doctors are able to care for their patients 48:50 Matrescence & the need to invest resources in postpartum care Work with Keely [https://www.keelysemler.com/trainingandmentorship] MOTHERLANDS: Online Education Program [http://www.wearemotherlands.com/] 20% off code MOTHERLANDSPOD Connect with Dr. Ono Nseyo [https://www.instagram.com/goldenhour.fm/] Follow our Host, Keely Semler [https://www.instagram.com/k.eelys/] Follow The Motherlands Podcast [https://www.instagram.com/we.are.motherlands/] Your support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments. Can’t subscribe right now? You can still – Leave a review on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-motherlands-podcast/id1806705974]– Subscribe to [http://keelysemler.substack.com/] Motherlands [http://keelysemler.substack.com/] on Substack [http://keelysemler.substack.com/]– Follow us on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@WeAreMotherlands/shorts]– Share an episode with a friend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe [https://keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Beauty as a Unifying Force with Nadine Artemis

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com [http://keelysemler.substack.com/]. Nadine Artemis, founder of Living Libations, reflects on how modern culture places our senses in a hierarchy, often prioritizing the visual while neglecting the richness of the others. She invites us to consider beauty not just as appearance, but as a full body experience; a harmony of scent, sound, touch, and presence. We talk about living in deeper relationship with nature, and how that connection can support a more vibrant, embodied life. Our conversation covers topics like the rise of “millennial menopause” in women who are currently in their 30s, how to embrace winter while still supporting vitamin D synthesis, and the relationship between circadian rhythm, mitochondrial health, and hormone balance. In the extended episode, we discuss heartbreak, love, babies, and the intimacy that shapes us. Nadine Artemis is the author of Renegade Beauty and Holistic Dental Care and the creator of Living Libations [https://livinglibations.com/], a pure and luxurious line of organic oral care, botanical beauty care, and medicinal elixirs often called the “holy grail” of wholesome skincare. Artemis is an innovative aromacologist, and her healing formulations and her concept of renegade beauty encourage effortlessness and inspire people to rethink conventional notions of wellness and beauty. This podcast is only made possible by the support of this community. Show you support by becoming paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com. 3:26 An ecosystem of nurturing 4:14 Beauty as a union 8:21 Being valued & valuing yourself internally 10:21 Investing in your “is-ness” to release control 13:57 Womanhood, mothering, body knowledge, and changes in societal family norms 20:35 Getting to the root of health issues 24:53 Self-discovery, hormones, and mitochondrial health 32:01 Circadian rhythm as the foundation of our biology Behind Closed Doors Extended Interview includes: 38:53 Skin, melanin, and the need for Vitamin D sufficiency 41:50 Making time and space for rest 43:09 Building resilience 46:48 Carrying forward the faith in life and your relationship with yourself 47:23 Love, heartbreak, and intimacy Work with Keely [https://www.keelysemler.com/trainingandmentorship] MOTHERLANDS: Online Education Program [http://www.wearemotherlands.com/] 20% off code MOTHERLANDSPOD Connect with Nadine Artemis [https://www.instagram.com/nadineartemisofficial/] Follow our Host, Keely Semler [https://www.instagram.com/k.eelys/] Follow The Motherlands Podcast [https://www.instagram.com/we.are.motherlands/] Your support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments. Can’t subscribe right now? You can still – Leave a review on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-motherlands-podcast/id1806705974]– Subscribe to [http://keelysemler.substack.com/] Motherlands [http://keelysemler.substack.com/] on Substack [http://keelysemler.substack.com/]– Follow us on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@WeAreMotherlands/shorts]– Share an episode with a friend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe [https://keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

The Sleek Rebrand of the Sex Industry with Dr. Rebecca Whisnant

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com [http://keelysemler.substack.com/]. I have spent a great deal of time thinking about and honestly, grappling with, the sex industry [https://open.substack.com/pub/keelysemler/p/when-did-sex-become-a-hobby?r=2z8l1w&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false] and today’s narratives around sexual liberation. It’s often marketed as glamorous and empowering for women, but I’ve found myself questioning who it actually serves, and at what cost. In today’s episode, I’m joined by Dr. Rebecca Whisnant, a professor of philosophy at the University of Dayton. We talk about feminism, what it really means, and how the word has been misunderstood, misused, and in many ways stripped of its integrity. Instead of being a movement to end all forms of oppression, feminism is now often co-opted to sell capitalistic and patriarchal ideas. We also explore the language we use around the sex industry, like the term sex work, and how it can obscure the realities of systems built on exploitation. Dr. Whisnant shares insight on how pornography and prostitution are connected to broader public health issues, especially for young people who are growing up in a culture shaped by these influences. Rebecca Whisnant is a professor of philosophy at the University of Dayton, where her research and teaching focus on ethics and feminist social theory. She co-edited the anthology Not For Sale: Feminists Resisting Prostitution and Pornography, and her recent articles include “Pornography, humiliation, and consent” and “But what about feminist porn?: Examining the work of Tristan Taormino.” Dr. Whisnant is vice president of the board of directors for Culture Reframed [https://culturereframed.org/], a national nonprofit organization addressing pornography as the public health crisis of the digital age. This podcast is only made possible by the support of this community. Show you support by becoming paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com. 3:57 Defining feminism 5:38 Contradictions in the connotations of “feminism” 8:51 Are sexuality and pornography empowerment or exploitation? 13:17 How to critique the sex industry without shaming someone who is forced to work in it 16:07 The social costs of sexual commodification 20:44 Informed consent & choice: Is agency truly possible in the porn industry? 25:06 The impact of porn on intimacy & relationships 30:16 How porn dictates women’s experience and removes pleasure, safety, and enjoyment 33:43 Sex robots and porn: how they avoid the human elements of relationship and connection and don’t solve loneliness Behind Closed Doors Extended Interview includes: 37:21 Hyper-capitalism, fascism, pornography, and the patriarchy are fodder for our loss of human decency 42:03 The competing demands of sexual visibility and “liberation” 45:14 How the sex industry exists because of men and their choices, not women and their choices 48:43 Culture Reframed and the plethora of feminist literature that remains relevant and urgent Work with Keely [https://www.keelysemler.com/trainingandmentorship] MOTHERLANDS: Online Education Program [http://www.wearemotherlands.com/] 20% off code MOTHERLANDSPOD Free Practical Guide for Curious Minds: Demystifying Medical Research [https://motherlands.myflodesk.com/j7lkh5gz5s] Connect with Dr. Rebecca Whisnant [https://udayton.edu/directory/artssciences/philosophy/whisnant_rebecca_s.php] Follow our Host, Keely Semler [https://www.instagram.com/k.eelys/] Follow The Motherlands Podcast [https://www.instagram.com/we.are.motherlands/] Your support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments. Can’t subscribe right now? You can still help… – Leave a review on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-motherlands-podcast/id1806705974]– Subscribe to [http://keelysemler.substack.com/] Motherlands [http://keelysemler.substack.com/] on Substack [http://keelysemler.substack.com/]– Follow us on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@WeAreMotherlands/shorts]– Share an episode with a friend If your brand aligns with empowering women, let’s partner! Reach out at hello@keelysemler.com. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe [https://keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]