What WAS Voldemort's Political Platform?

Rats, (Many) Rants, and the Return of the Handsome Arc

Buckle up for an unfiltered Pool House ride as Alex and Kelsey spiral through a week of chaos — tackling everything from PCOS advocacy to the return of Alex’s Handsome Arc, from presidential impressions to a bizarre office Ratatouille situation. Expect humor, real talk, tangents galore, (and doing our best to steer the vibes and protect your sanity along the way). 💫 Topics include: ✅ PCOS, healthcare struggles, and self-advocacy ✅ The art of the cremains call voice ✅ Adorable rats in questionable situations ✅ The Handsome Arc reborn ✅ America, kombucha coleslaw, and Creed Join us for laughter, chaos, and a little light in the darkness.

Courtroom and Kombucha (and Other Acts of God)

Alex gets mistaken for a criminal, Kelsey injects herself on-mic like a badass, and someone might be harboring live rodents at the office. This one has everything: PCOS advocacy, Real ID rants, mango kombucha obsession, ghost echoes of the Pool House, and one cleanly delivered joke that’s definitely going to get heard by the wrong person. There’s court, burps, and ancient pain disguised as satire. Also—GT Dave, we love you. Please sponsor us.

Ghosting Ghosts and Banishing B*tchcraft

This week, Alex and Kelsey broadcast straight from the heart of the chaos realm. Topics include: being declared a hero by Margaritaville™, breaking up with your Snap score, ex-lurkers watching from the digital bushes, bitchcraft (yes, really), scrying mirror rituals, farming wisdom, hate crime grief, and one hell of a live truth spike about who actually told Alex not to trust Kelsey. Also: questionable mail, unexpected impressions, spiritual exorcisms in real time, and so much more. WARNING: If you’re watching from afar hoping it still burns—you might want to take your AirPods out.

What WAS Voldemort's Political Platform?

In this raw, rambunctious birthday episode of The Pool House, Alex and Kelsey spiral through pop culture, politics, grief, bodily functions, and healing with the comedic grace of two trauma-bonded philosophers high on acid, sleep deprivation, and nostalgia. From roasting Joe Rogan and Tony Hinchcliffe to unraveling dating app toxicity and reflecting on what real growth looks like in your late 20s, the episode feels like emotional karaoke at the edge of the void — and we’re all singing along. You’ll laugh. You’ll flinch. You’ll probably feel a little more okay with dying alone by the end. And that’s the vibe.

Castiversary, Closure & Chanclas

Buckle up for Pool House’s 2nd Castiversary, where Alex and Kelsey unleash unhinged chaos and raw heart! We roast Biden’s cancer news (1:17:40), yeet Musk with a chancla (3:33), and rage for Adriana Smith’s justice (49:01). Alex spills on five months sober, a new work crush’s “butterflies” (39:36), and buries old ghosts for good (32:06). From chicken jockey slurs (0:00) to Disney’s Lilo and Stitch flop (1:06:01), this pivotal episode is our wildest yet. What’s Inside: * Castiversary Vibes (26:25): Two years of Pool House! From 2022’s “lost” chaos to 2025’s clarity, we’ve ditched booze for growth. * Adriana Smith Advocacy (49:01): We call out Georgia’s heartbeat bill for turning a Black woman into a “science experiment,” demanding justice. * Closure (32:06): Alex names the manipulation game, finding sober closure and leaving toxic pasts behind. * Sober Butterflies (39:36): Five months sober, Alex feels “sparkly” with a work crush, proving joy’s back without chasing it. * Disney Crash-Out (1:06:01): We shred the Lilo and Stitch live-action mess—whitewashed Nani, no heart, just greed. * Unhinged Bits: Chicken jockey slurs (0:00), Trump’s ass fax (1:20:07), and butt plug HR chaos (20:32) keep it Pool House wild.