77: Reclaiming the Divorced Body Part 3: Touch, Pleasure & Boundaries

78: Reclaiming the Divorced Body Part 4: Embodiment as a Spiritual Practice (& Farewell)

I share why I’m pausing this podcast at Episode 78 and shifting my focus toward women’s healthcare and midwifery. Then I close our Embodiment series by making “spiritual” practical: intuition in plain language, movement that feels safe, tiny rituals that actually fit real life, and a gentle seven-day plan to try right away. What I cover * Why I’m pressing pause and where you’ll still find me (Britta Jo’s Stay or Go community and her Substack; occasional guest spots) * What “spiritual” means to me (no dogma, high honesty, body-based presence, and wonder) * The difference between spirituality and religion (authority, beliefs, practices, belonging) * Four doorways into daily embodied spirituality: 1. Intuition & “going into myself” 2. Movement & breath (three-song practice) 3. Creativity & voice (micro-writing / voice notes) 4. Nature & awe (awe walks and everyday noticing) * Nervous-system first: green/yellow/red as a guide for any practice * The RITUAL framework (Rooted in safety • Intention • Tiny • Unique cue • Accountability • Loop it) * Obstacles & repairs: loneliness, the inner critic, religious trauma—how I respond without abandoning myself * What success actually looks like: softer shoulders, steadier breath, a faster return to “I’m okay,” clearer yes/no Seven-Day Micro-Plan (recap) * Day 1 – Intuition Minute: two physiological sighs + one honest line (“What do I know right now?”) * Day 2 – Movement Trio: Arrive → Loosen → Integrate (or one song if that’s all you’ve got) * Day 3 – Awe Walk: notice one pattern, one color, one texture; end with one “thank you” * Day 4 – Voice Note (5 min): what hurts / what feels good / where is my hope * Day 5 – Tiny Altar: one comforting object placed with intention * Day 6 – Co-Regulate: time with a safe person/pet; notice before/after * Day 7 – Gain Review: what shifted 1% and what I want more of next week Mentions & references * Invisible Labor  [https://a.co/d/d7CdIXu]by Rachel Sommerstein (C-sections and the stories around them) * Elizabeth Gilbert’s weekly “Letters From Love” [https://elizabethgilbert.substack.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=web] essays * Stay or Go Community [https://community.stayorgocoaching.com/] with Britta Jo and her Substack [https://stayorgo.substack.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=web] A gentle ask If this series helped you, share this episode with a friend who’s rebuilding after divorce. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com

77: Reclaiming the Divorced Body Part 3: Touch, Pleasure & Boundaries

Quinn opens with a Halloween full-circle moment—house full of kids, step-siblings, laughter, candy—and pivots into the heart of Part 3: pleasure and boundaries as part of healing. We name common post-divorce patterns (fawn, freeze, “loneliness bargains”), ditch the shame, and use a simple order—Safety → Curiosity → Consent—before any touch (solo or partnered). You’ll learn quick downshifts, the stoplight check (Green/Yellow/Red), how to build a Yes/No/Maybe list (hello, kink jars), a gentle sensate ladder (pleasure over performance), real boundary micro-scripts, and a 7-day plan you can actually do. What You’ll Learn (pulled straight from the episode) * Why “low libido” can be freeze (not a flaw) and why fawning in bed is a survival pattern—not a moral failing. * The Safety → Curiosity → Consent sequence (and why the order matters). * How to downshift in 90 seconds (physiological sigh ×2 + orienting). * The Stoplight Rule (Green = go, Yellow = slow/check-in, Red = stop/repair). * Building consent with yourself first (Body-Yes / Body-No). * Creating a Yes/No/Maybe list (using “kink jar” style menus for clarity). * The Sensate Ladder: non-sexual zones → torso/hips/thighs → optional sexual zones only if it’s Green. * Aftercare basics: water, warmth, slow breaths, kind words—“Thank you, body.” Boundary Micro-Scripts (use verbatim) * “I’m a yes to ___. I’m a no to ___. I’d like ___ instead.” * “Pause—I need a breath check.” / “I’m yellow right now—slow down, please.” * “No to that tonight; yes to cuddling and music.” * Dating: “I don’t decide in the moment. I’ll text you tomorrow.” Sensate Ladder (practice, not performance) * Days 1–3: Non-sexual zones only (hands, face, scalp, neck, shoulders, arms, calves, feet). Explore texture / temperature / pressure (silk, lotion, warm shower, etc.). * Days 4–6: Torso, hips, thighs—linger and notice. * Day 7: Optional sexual zones only if Green. Ask: “What makes this 1% more pleasurable?” 7-Day “Pleasure Without Pressure” Plan 1. Build your Yes/No/Maybe list (context + touch). 2. Body Compass with non-sexual touch (2 min). 3. Sensate Ladder Step 1 (hands/forearms/feet). 4. Boundary rehearsal—say your lines out loud. 5. Sensory shower/lotion ritual (play with texture + temperature). 6. Co-regulation date (friend, pet, nature); notice before/after. 7. Aftercare ritual + journal: “What felt 1% safer/more alive this week?” Quotes You Heard * “Our bodies are not problems to be solved; they are homes to be tended.” — Hillary McBride * “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” — Audre Lorde * “You don’t earn pleasure by being good. Pleasure is a birthright.” — Quinn Related Episodes (mentioned) * Ep 49 — Vitamin O: Get Yourself Off, Get Your Life Back  [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2357333/episodes/16880987] * Ep 34 — Pleasure Is Mine: Claiming Your Sensual Self [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2357333/episodes/16297324] * Ep 30 — Strategies for Feeling Safe Post-Divorce [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2357333/episodes/16130961] * Ep 24 — Understanding and Healing from Marital Rape [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2357333/episodes/15891772] Book Mentioned: No More Assholes: Your 7 Step Guide to Saying Goodbye to Guys and Finding the Real Man You're Looking For.  [https://a.co/d/fYaDkDF] PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com

76: Reclaiming the Divorced Body Part 2: Training Your Body to Feel Safe Again

Quinn unpacks how the nervous system asks one question all day—Am I safe?—and why fight/flight/freeze/fawn are wise survival patterns (not personal failures). You’ll learn fast, gentle regulation tools (physiological sigh, orienting, butterfly hug, vagal “voo”/humming), see them in action via pop-culture and literature examples, and leave with a 7-day plan to widen your window of tolerance. The aim: move from bracing for impact to breathing easier—then building a calmer, safer life you actually enjoy living in. What You’ll Learn * Embodiment = biology: Your body is a home to be tended, not a problem to fix (Hillary McBride). * Survival patterns are smart: Fight/flight/freeze/fawn kept you safe; now we teach your body new safety. * Complete the stress cycle: Don’t power through—release (Levine): breathe, shake, sigh, settle. * Co-regulation matters: Calm spreads person-to-person (think Ted Lasso). Fast Practices (Try Today) 1. Physiological sigh (20–30s): Inhale → tiny top-up inhale → long slow exhale (2–3x). 2. Orienting (30–60s): Turn head, name 5 things you see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste. 3. Butterfly hug (60s): Cross arms, alternate taps L/R while breathing slowly. 4. Vagal “voo” or hum (45s): Inhale, long chest-vibrating “voo” (or hum) 2–3x. Pop Culture & Lit Mirrors * Inside Out 2: Anxiety tries to control everything → name it, breathe, integrate (not exile). * Ted Lasso: Panic softens via breath + safe people (co-regulation). * The Bear: Unfinished cycles = alarms (tight jaw, shallow breath); the body keeps score. * Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God: Janie’s embodied “yes/no” as sovereignty. * Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese”: “Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” Mini Playbook for Divorced Life * Text from ex detonates: 1 physiological sigh + orient; reply later from safety. * First date freeze: Bathroom → butterfly hug 60s → decide from regulation. * Co-parenting flare: Hand to heart + “voo” twice → This is my boundary.  * Lonely Saturday: 5-minute sensory walk → call a safe friend/pet time. 7-Day Nervous System Plan * Morning (1 min): Physiological sigh ×3 or butterfly hug. * Mid-day (30s): Orienting—name 5 things you see. * Evening (2 min): Gentle shake-out + humming/“voo.” * Connection (3 min): Text/call a safe friend or sit quietly with a pet. * Boundary rep (one line): “I’ll need to think about that and get back to you.” Quotable * “Our bodies are not problems to be solved; they are homes to be tended.” — Hillary McBride * “Trauma isn’t in the event, it’s in the nervous system.” — inspired by Peter Levine * “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” — Mary Oliver Resources Mentioned * Hillary McBride — The Wisdom of Your Body * Peter Levine — Waking the Tiger (Somatic Experiencing) * Deirdre Fay — Becoming Safely Embodied Content Note Mentions of religious conditioning, sexual coercion, panic/anxiety. Please go at the pace of safety and pause anytime. Call to Action If this helped you exhale, share it with a sister who needs a calmer nervous system and a softer Saturday night. Rate + review + subscribe so you won’t miss Part 3: Reclaiming Touch, Pleasure & Boundaries.  Questions or resources? Email Quinn@postdivorceglowup.com   PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com

75: Reclaiming the Divorced Body Part 1: Why You Feel Numb — and How to Come Back to Life

Quinn kicks off a month-long series on embodiment—the practice of living in your body with safety, honesty, and aliveness—especially after divorce. We explore why so many of us disconnect (hello, codependency, fawn, freeze, dissociation), why that was smart survival, and how to start coming home to yourself with gentle, doable steps. This is about belonging to you—not performing for anyone else. What You’ll Learn * Embodiment 101: It’s awareness and presence—treating your body as your home, not a problem to fix. * Why we disconnect: Trauma responses (fawn/freeze/flight), cultural conditioning, and the “read-the-room” life. * Trauma in the body: “We can’t think our way out; the body needs to metabolize it.” * A kinder story: Your nervous system wasn’t weak; it was wise. Now we help it feel safe. Three Gentle Practices (Try This Week) 1. 60-second Grounding: Feel your feet, drop your shoulders, slow breath, whisper: “I’m here.” 2. Journal Prompt: When do I feel most alive in my body? (Don’t overthink—notice.) 3. One-Minute Presence: Choose a daily task (coffee, shower, walk) and do it with all five senses. Favorite Lines to Remember * “Clear is kind.” — Brené Brown * “Your body is not your enemy. She is your home, your compass, and your connection to the divine.” — Quinn Resources Mentioned * Gabor Maté — The Myth of Normal [https://a.co/d/jbXrHRx] * Bessel van der Kolk — The Body Keeps the Score [https://a.co/d/eEJSvph] * Hillary McBride — The Wisdom of Your Body [https://a.co/d/axjGWkb] * Peter Levine — Waking the Tiger  [https://a.co/d/6z7iRkW](Somatic Experiencing) * The House of My Mother [https://a.co/d/5vfxUKe] — memoir by Shari Franke (referenced in the episode) Content Note We touch on trauma, spiritual conditioning, sexual coercion, and medical ER anecdotes. Take breaks as needed; go at the pace of safety. Series Roadmap (What’s Coming) * Part 2: The nervous system—reading your body’s language of safety & simple regulation tools. * Part 3: Reclaiming touch, pleasure, and boundaries—sensuality without fear. * Part 4: Embodiment as a spiritual practice—living grounded, intuitive, and fully alive. “Embodiment after divorce isn’t a makeover; it’s a homecoming. One breath, one heartbeat, one gentle moment at a time. #PostDivorceGlowUp #EmbodiedHealing” Call to Action If this episode helped you exhale, share it with a sister who’s ready to come home to herself. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com

74: The Power of Connection: How Community Heals What Divorce Breaks

Quinn and Britta Jo sit down after Britta’s first Stay or Go retreat to explore what women are truly craving—real connection. From Brené Brown’s words—“we are neurobiologically hardwired for connection”—to stories of women finding sisterhood in the messy middle of divorce, this conversation dives into what happens when women finally stop trying to “do it all alone.” Together, they unpack: * Why the absence of connection always leads to suffering—and what that really means. * How patriarchal and capitalist systems have broken women’s bonds with one another—and how we’re rebuilding them. * What healthy female community actually looks like (and how to find or create your own). * The science behind social support—why we’re literally stronger when we have someone by our side. * Lessons from the Stay or Go retreat: bunk beds, laughter, tears, and the magic of being seen, heard, and held by other women. Quinn and Britta reveal that connection isn’t about rescuing or fixing anyone—it’s about witnessing one another in truth. This episode is a love letter to sisterhood, softness, strength, and the healing web that holds us when we fall. 💬 Quote of the Episode: > Connection is: "The energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment, and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” — Brené Brown Listen if you’re: * Craving depth, belonging, and community after divorce * Wondering why independence alone doesn’t feel fulfilling * Ready to build (or rebuild) meaningful female friendships * A woman reclaiming her own way of knowing, healing, and rising Links: The Stay or Go Community [https://community.stayorgocoaching.com/] Strong Ground [https://a.co/d/d924iCJ] by Brene Brown IG Reel [https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNSpMs5IS7O/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet](mentioned in the episode) PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com