#14 Tokyo Pride, polyamory flags, and who belongs in the queer community

#14 Tokyo Pride, polyamory flags, and who belongs in the queer community

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life, a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge, a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Kinoko attending Tokyo Pride for the first time in 5–7 years, marching with poly-friendly friends and holding up a polyamory flag (infinity heart symbol). * The explosion of LGBTQ+ flags – too many to remember, with some evolving over time (e.g., the progress pride flag's colors representing trans people, BIPOC, and HIV/AIDS awareness). * The term BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) and its roots in U.S. anti-racism; why the progress flag includes brown and black stripes. * The ongoing debate: Is polyamory an orientation or a lifestyle? Many poly people (especially straight-identifying) don't see themselves as part of the LGBTQ+ community. * Masaki's argument: polyamory challenges heteronormative family structures and should be included; Kinoko agrees that anyone facing difficulty in their relationships or life practices should be welcome. * Kinoko's idea of someday organizing a polyamory parade or float. * Masaki's observation: he often feels more understood by working-class straight people (e.g., an old man at an izakaya counter) than by elite LGBTQ+ academics, because shared experiences of hardship transcend identity labels. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: ⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/kinoko1027⁠⁠⁠ [https://x.com/kinoko1027] * Kinoko-san’s blog: ⁠⁠⁠https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/⁠⁠⁠ [https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/] * Her book: ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA⁠⁠⁠ [https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA] * Her interview: ⁠⁠⁠https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 [https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196]

#13 Night owls, morning persons, and the joy of trivial research

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life, a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge, a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Kinoko arriving late due to a typhoon, closing her curtains, and her usual routine as a morning person (waking at 6 AM, bed by 11 PM at the latest) – despite enjoying underground night events, she always catches the last train. * Masaki as a night person who stays up until 4 or 5 AM, especially when he has no obligations the next day, doing "trivial research" (e.g., 18 hours on German architecture) just for fun. * The difference between obligated (legal/contractual) and obliged (personal/moral feeling); Masaki's "mild obligation" of waking up with his boyfriend helps maintain his daily rhythm. * Masaki getting a new passport entirely online (using My Number card, paying by credit card, picking it up in five minutes at the city office) – much easier than in the past. * Kinoko's younger self as a night person who would stay up reading books all night, but now her age and nature prevent that; staying up late would waste the whole next day. * Surprising shared love for kanbun (classical Chinese literature) – Kinoko finds it fun like a foreign language; Masaki hated it in school and didn't know anyone who liked it. * Masaki's reading habits: slow reader, buys books and piles them up unread (tsundoku / book hoarding), but is excited to announce he will publish a book (a compilation of essays) next year. * The unique pleasure of paper books: no alerts, no notifications, nothing interrupts the reading experience. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: ⁠⁠https://x.com/kinoko1027⁠⁠ [https://x.com/kinoko1027] * Kinoko-san’s blog: ⁠⁠https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/⁠⁠ [https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/] * Her book: ⁠⁠https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA⁠⁠ [https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA] * Her interview: ⁠⁠https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 [https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196]

#12 Crowdfunding a queer sharehouse, chaotic Kabukicho, and the right to be ambitious

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life, a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge, a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Kinoko's crowdfunding campaign for her new sharehouse in Minowa, Tokyo (LGBTQ+ friendly, poly-friendly), with 9 rooms and 7 still empty. She needs both financial support and new residents. * Why she runs a sharehouse: as a polyamorous queer person who has had a hysterectomy, she can't form a "normal" family, so she wants to create an alternative, safe, comfortable living space. * Future dream locations: Kabukicho and Golden Gai – chaotic, dirty, underground areas where "everyone is strange" and queer people can go stealth because no one cares. * The feeling of alienation in mainstream queer circles (often elite, college-educated) versus feeling more at home with marginalized straight people (nightlife workers, factory workers, the economically disadvantaged). * Masaki's childhood inspiration from a Takeshi Kaneshiro movie: wanting to live above a shop on a busy street, watching people pass by. * Both as queer entrepreneurs – the Japanese cultural reluctance to openly support minority-owned businesses or talk about money, and the suspicion that using one's minority status is for personal gain. * The counterargument: marginalized people have every right to be ambitious, make surplus, and use that money to help others in their community, as Masaki experienced after saving money for the first time. * Vocabulary: hysterectomy, alienating, tendency, surplus, affluent, loan/borrow/rent, entrepreneur pronunciation, stealth. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: ⁠⁠https://x.com/kinoko1027⁠⁠ [https://x.com/kinoko1027] * Kinoko-san’s blog: ⁠⁠https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/⁠⁠ [https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/] * Her book: ⁠⁠https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA⁠⁠ [https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA] * Her interview: ⁠⁠https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 [https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196]

#11 Haircuts, consent, and the grammar of getting things done

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life, a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge, a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Kinoko's new hairstyle, cut by a friend during a camping trip on a deserted (uninhabited) island, including the difference between "desert" and "deserted." * The social pressure on women (especially Asian women) to have long, black, sleek hair, and how cutting her hair short is a form of activism. * Why friends hesitate to cut each other's hair: it can be seen as invasive, violent, or a form of punishment (bullying, shaving heads as discipline). * The word "fringe" – both for hairstyle (bangs) and for something outside the mainstream, weird, or questionable. * The balance between boundaries and autonomy versus the reality that some invasiveness is part of life, and how cutting hair can be an act of trust and leeway. * Grammar focus: the "have object passive" construction (I had my hair cut by my friends), contrasting it with regular passive sentences. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: ⁠https://x.com/kinoko1027⁠ [https://x.com/kinoko1027] * Kinoko-san’s blog: ⁠https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/⁠ [https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/] * Her book: ⁠https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA⁠ [https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA] * Her interview: ⁠https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 [https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196]

#10 Overwhelmed, obligations, and dreaming of Thailand

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life, a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge, a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Masaki’s restaurant gas tank running out, the difference between piped gas and tank gas, and what “full-fledged restaurant” means. * Kinoko’s exhausting move to the new sharehouse, dealing with old furniture, and the concept of a “not-to-do list” to avoid being overwhelmed. * The word “overwhelmed” (too many tasks, feeling flooded) and the importance of taking a “chill pill” – intentionally scheduling rest. * Kinoko’s upcoming camping trip in Wakayama to do nothing, listen to the sound of waves (shiosai), and relax. * The difference between tasks, appointments, and “obligations” (things you have to do but don’t necessarily enjoy, like social or family duties). * Dream retirement destinations: Kinoko would choose Thailand (Chiang Mai), where many retired white people (farang) live a slow life. Masaki is curious about Greece and Egypt. * Masaki renewing his passport after eight years to visit a sick friend in the US, and his partner’s dislike of international travel. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: https://x.com/kinoko1027 [https://x.com/kinoko1027] * Kinoko-san’s blog: https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/ [https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/] * Her book: https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA [https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA] * Her interview: https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 [https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196]