I’m Sorry for What I Said as an Evangelical Teenager (with Layne Watkins of the Sinful Sticker Shop)

I’m Sorry for What I Said as an Evangelical Teenager (with Layne Watkins of the Sinful Sticker Shop)

“Tell me that’s not a cult.” Altar calls. Hell House. Covenant ceremonies. After years of growing up within ultra-evangelical churches, exclusive theology, and sexy Jesus, Layne Watkins has made a full 180 and left all the charismatic BS behind her. Now she runs the Sinful Sticker Shop, her way of atoning for the embarrassing stories from her past, something that many of us in the exvangelical space can relate to.  In this episode we dive deep into the traumas, the brainwashing, the grief, and yes, even the laguhter that comes after deconstructing and leaving it all behind. We discuss how the church jacked up our bodies, from our drives to our nervous system, and how to find healing on the journey out.  If you were apart of a system and feel embarrassed about your past self, if you still feel the consequences that high-control religion had on you, or if you simply need a laugh, this episode is for you. Join us in a conversation that is both rich and cathartic.  Content warning timestamps: 9:04- 12:33 Domestic violence Suicide Hell/afterlife torture Abortion/teen pregnancy 43:19 Miscarriage Topics in this episode: * Starting a business in the deconstruction niche space * Assemblies of God church community  * Hell houses for Christ * Exvangelical community and healing * Ego and pride in evangelicalism * Loyd Ziegler and Master’s Commission USA cult * The culture of financial issues as a young adult * Realizing the exclusivity of the church * Having relationships and perspective outside of your bubble * Captivating by Lisa Bevere and “Jesus is my boyfriend” relationships * Sexual suppresion from the church * What healthy conversations about sex with your kids actually looks like * Trauma gained within high control religion * Regulating the nervous system Follow more of Allison! Instagram- @real_allison_rose [https://www.instagram.com/real_allison_rose/] TikTok- @real_allison_rose [https://www.tiktok.com/@real_allison_rose?_r=1&_t=ZT-96AYCRu8dy9] YouTube- @real_allison_rose [https://www.youtube.com/@real_allison_rose] Connect with Layne! Shop the Sinful Sticker collection [http://www.etsy.com/shop/SinfulStickerShop?dd_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ecosia.org%2F] Instagram and TikTok- @sinfulstickershop [https://www.instagram.com/sinfulstickershop/] #TheRecoveringRadical #Exvangelical #ReligiousTrauma #PurityCultureRecovery #DeconstructionJourney #NervousSystemHealing #ChurchTrauma #RecoveringEvangelical #SpiritualAbuseRecovery

5. Asherah: The Divine Feminine Hidden in the Bible (with Feminist Scholar Paige Hunt)

“The divine feminine wasn’t destroyed, it was made invisible.”  Do you ever wonder why Christianity places such an emphasis on men? Do you ever look at the patriarchal church structures and wonder, where are women’s voices? The Bible has a lot to say about women, some uplifting, some suppressing, and everything in between. In this episode of the Recovering Radical, Paige Hunt takes us on a journey through biblical interpretation and archeological usurpations. With a context-dependent and pro-female approach, Paige shows us how Ancient Israel’s beliefs and practices didn’t put women down, but actually empowered them in every way.  Many of us grew up reading the Bible with a literalistic, anti-intuitive, and pro-patriarchy lens. If you’re tired of women’s voices being silenced, if you’re ready to shake the underlying power structures of church doctrine, then this episode is for you.  Topics covered: * Asherah as Mother Goddess alongside Yahweh * Approaching the Bible as an ancient text * Lady Wisdom and ancient goddess figurines * How modern scholars put their own prejudices on ancient practices * How Israel was not “more moral” than the surrounding nations * Prophecy as divination in practice * How Yahweh evolved from the gods of the time * Asherah’s role in spiritual life and symbolism in the Bible * Women and their importance in the ancient communities * How Josiah banned Asherah worship, and how the divine feminine presence is still lingering even today Follow more of Allison! Instagram- @real_allison_rose [https://www.instagram.com/real_allison_rose/] TikTok- @real_allison_rose [https://www.tiktok.com/@real_allison_rose?_r=1&_t=ZT-96AYCRu8dy9] YouTube- @real_allison_rose [https://www.youtube.com/@real_allison_rose] #TheRecoveringRadical #Deconstruction #ReligiousTrauma #DivineFeminine #Asherah #Exvangelical #EmbodiedHealing #FaithDeconstruction #FeministTheology #NervousSystemHealing

4. Personal Pleasure as Embodied Healing After Deconstructing Purity Culture & High Control Church

What if pleasure wasn’t something to feel guilty about… but something that could actually support your healing? In this episode of Recovering Radical, Allison Rose sits down with sexologist and intimacy coach Sarah Ward to explore how pleasure, especially personal pleasure, can become a powerful part of your healing journey after leaving high-control Christianity. Together, they unpack the impact of purity culture, shame, and performance-based sexuality, and offer a radically different perspective. One that centers curiosity, consent, and reconnecting with your body. You’ll hear about: • Why healing doesn’t have to feel heavy all the time • How pleasure can help regulate your nervous system • The difference between sensuality and sexuality (and where to start) • How goal-oriented sex creates pressure and disconnect • Rewiring beliefs in the body, not just the mind • Why shame has been used to control, and how to release it • Simple ways to reconnect with your body, even if it feels unsafe or unfamiliar This conversation is especially for those who have deconstructed mentally but still feel the residue of guilt, fear, or disconnection in their body. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I even allowed to feel good?” this episode is your invitation to explore that question… gently. You don’t have to force anything. You don’t have to rush. You just get to begin noticing what feels safe, what feels good, and what feels like you. _______________ Sarah Ward is a Certified Sexologist and Somatic Intimacy Coach who grew up in the grip of purity culture and high-demand religion and has since reclaimed her pleasure. After decades of being systematically divorced from her own body, Sarah found solace in somatic work, which became the bedrock for her revolutionary reclamation of self and sensuality. She is the author of the weekly Substack Sex and Style and runs a private practice based in Albuquerque, NM, working with clients wherever they are. Website: https://sarahward.co/ [https://sarahward.co/] Blog: http://sarahwardco.substack.com/ [http://sarahwardco.substack.com]

3. Mental Load, Consent, & Pleasure in Marriage (w/ S*xologist Sarah Ward) [Part 2]

What happens when purity culture shapes how you think about s*x, marriage, and your own body? In this episode of The Recovering Radical, Allison sits down with s*xologist and intimacy coach Sarah Ward to unpack the lasting impact of harmful Christian teachings around sex and relationships. Together they explore how purity culture, “wifely duty,” and traditional Christian marriage advice often ignored consent, erased female pleasure, and placed the emotional and sexual burden of marriage on women. This conversation dives into the mental load many women carry in relationships, how obligation can quietly replace true consent, and why so many people raised in the church struggle to reconnect with their bodies and desires. They also talk about how these dynamics can contribute to r*pe culture inside religious environments and what it looks like to reclaim autonomy, pleasure, and healthy intimacy after leaving high-control religious systems. If you grew up with purity culture, evangelical marriage teachings, or religious messaging that made s*x feel confusing, shameful, or transactional, this conversation will help you start untangling those narratives. Topics they discuss: • purity culture and Christian marriage teachings • consent vs obligation in long-term relationships • the mental load many women carry in intimacy • female pleasure and body autonomy • how religious environments can reinforce rape culture • rebuilding healthy sexuality after religious harm _______________ Sarah Ward is a Certified Sexologist and Somatic Intimacy Coach who grew up in the grip of purity culture and high-demand religion and has since reclaimed her pleasure. After decades of being systematically divorced from her own body, Sarah found solace in somatic work, which became the bedrock for her revolutionary reclamation of self and sensuality. She is the author of the weekly Substack Sex and Style and runs a private practice based in Albuquerque, NM, working with clients wherever they are. Website: https://sarahward.co/ [https://sarahward.co/] Blog: http://sarahwardco.substack.com [http://sarahwardco.substack.com] The Problematic Concept of Modesty: https://sarahwardco.substack.com/p/the-problematic-concept-of-modesty [https://sarahwardco.substack.com/p/the-problematic-concept-of-modesty]

2. Evangelicalism, Libido, & Desire (w/ S*xologist Sarah Ward) [Part 1]

Unlock the truth about how religious trauma secretly hijacks your desire, libido, and ability to enjoy intimacy. If you've deconstructed your faith but still feel your body resisting the new beliefs, this episode is your essential guide to healing from within. Join Allison Metcalfe, a fellow recovering charismatic and embodied faith coach, in conversation with Sarah Ward, a sexologist and intimacy coach who specializes in somatic healing and religious trauma. Sarah shares how early shame, purity culture, and patriarchal teachings embed themselves deep in your body, causing silent struggles like low libido, performance anxiety, and disconnection. Through candid stories and breakthrough strategies, Sarah reveals how the body holds the key to true liberation and joy. You'll discover: * The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, and why understanding your body's signals can rewrite your sex life. * How shame from religious upbringing creates safety fears that block intimacy, and practical somatic exercises to rebuild trust. * The dangerous link between purity teachings, victim-blaming, and sex-related shame—and how to heal these deep wounds. * How cultural scripts around modesty and gendered expectations keep women disconnected from their bodies, and how to break free into embodied pleasure. This episode is vital for women in deconstruction, healing from religious harm, and anyone feeling lost in their own desire. If shame, guilt, or fear of your body’s responses are holding you back, this is your invitation to reclaim your pleasure, trust your intuition, and embody your truth. ____________________ Sarah Ward is a Certified Sexologist and Somatic Intimacy Coach who grew up in the grip of purity culture and high-demand religion and has since reclaimed her pleasure. After decades of being systematically divorced from her own body, Sarah found solace in somatic work, which became the bedrock for her revolutionary reclamation of self and sensuality. She is the author of the weekly Substack Sex and Style and runs a private practice based in Albuquerque, NM, working with clients wherever they are. Website: https://sarahward.co/ [http://www.sarahward.co/] Blog: http://sarahwardco.substack.com [http://sarahwardco.substack.com/] The Problematic Concept of Modesty: https://sarahwardco.substack.com/p/the-problematic-concept-of-modesty [https://sarahwardco.substack.com/p/the-problematic-concept-of-modesty] ____________________ Don’t let outdated beliefs wire your body for repression. Tune in to transform shame into curiosity and rediscover the joyful, embodied sexuality you deserve. _______________________ 🧘🏽‍♀️ Learn 5 easy nervous system tools for free ➡️ here [https://allisonmetcalfe.com/grounded-af/] 👉 Follow Allison on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@theallisonmetcalfe], Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/allison.metcalfe.188], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/theallisonmetcalfe/'], & Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@theallisonmetcalfe]. 💌 Email your topic suggestions to allison@allisonrose.co [allison@allisonrose.co]