Episode 8: The 'Only' Club: Being an only child and raising an only child in The Sandwich Generation

Episode 8: The 'Only' Club: Being an only child and raising an only child in The Sandwich Generation

Being an only child means you learn independence early. You can entertain yourself, make decisions, and figure out anything on your own. But when you land in The Sandwich Generation? That same independence can start to feel a whole lot like, “Wait… am I supposed to do ALL of this myself?!” In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa opens up about the unique reality of being an “only” while caregiving for aging parents, raising a family, managing grief, and carrying the emotional load without siblings to tag in. We’re also joined by Melissa Del Rosario, who shares her deeply personal story of sudden loss, shifting family dynamics, setting boundaries, and learning how to build your village when you don’t automatically have one built in. Together, we talk about the pros, cons, pressure, freedom, guilt, resilience, and dark humor that come with being an only child caregiver. If you’re an only child caring for aging parents, navigating family caregiving alone, or trying to survive the chaos of the Sandwich Generation without losing your mind, this episode will make you feel seen, understood, and hopefully laugh a little too. Because being an only doesn’t mean you’re supposed to do it all alone. Takeaways * Only children are superheroes — but you don’t have to carry everything alone. * Being an Only teaches you independence early. You learn to figure things out yourself. * That independence can get rocked hard in The Sandwich Generation. * In a family of three, losing one person changes everything and the whole dynamic shifts. * Your relationship with a surviving parent often has to be rebuilt after loss. This takes time.  * Boundaries can feel hard as an Only because you feel responsible for everyone. * A lot of only children become the emotional center of the family. That’s heavy. * Our friends often become family when you’re an Only. We learn how to build our own village! Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Melissa Del Rosario 02:10 Melissa's Caregiving Story as an Only Child 05:42 Navigating Life and Death Decisions 07:54 The Pressure of Being an Only Child when it's life or death 14:23 Rebuilding Relationships After Loss 16:44 How the Family Dynamic shifts after loss when you are an Only Child 22:29 The Fragility of Codependency 27:28 How do Only Children deal with the guilt? 34:54 Your Friends can be closer than family when you're an Only 40:57 Finding Guidance and Advice when you are an Only 46:41 Empowerment in Independence 48:43 Rethinking Only Child Stereotypes 52:50 Outro

Episode 7: Watch this B*tch! Comedian Susan Rice will not be ignored! Finding humor and respect in getting older.

How do we keep laughing when life feels so unbelievably heavy? Between raising the littles, caregiving for our aging parents, grief and the stress, surviving The Sandwich Generation feels like sometimes humor is the only thing holding it all together! In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank welcome nationally acclaimed comedian Susan Rice (@funnyoldbag [https://www.instagram.com/funnyoldbag/]) for a hilarious, honest, and surprisingly heartfelt conversation about aging, caregiving, self-worth, reinvention, and why it’s never too late to chase your dreams! Susan shares how she found her groove as a comedian in her seventies, what humor can teach us about resilience, and why getting older might actually be the moment we finally stop giving a fuck what everyone else thinks.  We talk about finding joy in hard seasons, embracing aging with humor, and learning to laugh (or cry) at the chaos. If you’re caring for aging parents, feeling burned out in midlife, or just need permission to laugh through the mess, this episode is for you. Takeaways * Sometimes the funniest people are carrying the hardest stories. * It’s never too late to grow into yourself. * Getting older can bring a surprising sense of freedom. * Younger generations have so much to learn from older generations, we just need to connect more. * There’s something powerful about hearing confident women in their 70s speak honestly and loudly. * Aging doesn’t mean becoming invisible. You still deserve to take up space. * Humor helps us survive hard things. We always need it. Links and Resources Susan Rice Comedy [https://www.susanricecomedy.com/] @ funnyoldbag on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/funnyoldbag/] Susan Rice: Silver Alert [https://www.comedydynamics.com/catalog/susan-rice-silver-alert/] - a new special! Don’t Tell Comedy Shows [https://www.donttellcomedy.com/] Chapters:  00:00 Introduction to Comedian Susan Rice 01:15 Overcoming Challenges with Humor 12:15 The Resilience of Aging 13:18 Thriving in Your Seventies 15:53 Confidence and Visibility in Aging 21:35 Susan's Caregiving Story 23:43 Women, The World and why we always need Humor

Episode 6: What NO ONE tells you about Assisted Living! with Melissa Stanton and Molly Mogren Katt of Carefree Cottages of Maplewood

Why does Assisted Living cost so much? Why does every tour somehow end in a “pub”? And are the communities with the fancy brochures and gourmet desserts actually the best fit for your loved one? In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa sit down with Melissa Stanton and Molly Mogren Katt of Carefree Cottages of Maplewood [https://carefreemn.com/] for a candid (and surprisingly heated + funny) conversation about the realities of assisted living, from both sides of the tour. We get into the real stuff: the questions families should be asking, how to make sense of the finances, what actually matters beyond the marketing, and how to figure out who you can trust in an industry that can feel wildly overwhelming. Whether you’re just starting to explore assisted living or already deep in the process, this episode is packed with honest insights, helpful tips, and plenty of laughs along the way. Disclaimer: We are not lawyers nor do we offer legal advice on this podcast. All information is based out of Minnesota, so check your state to see what programs, waivers and assistance are offered in your area!  Takeaways * What are the top 3 questions that families should be asking when touring assisted living communities? * What is the difference between Private Pay, Elderly and Cadi Waiver programs? * Think of shopping for assisted living like you’re dating. Are you serious and looking for a long term relationship? What are the qualities you’re looking for?  * Follow your *senses*  * What the hell is an Ombudsman? (This person might be your best friend…) * What are some misconceptions about Assisted Living? * Assisted Living Can be: * Family Owned * Corporate * Non-Profit (Like Shalom Home) * Adult Foster Homes Chapters 01:23 Intro to Molly and Melissa of Carefree Cottages 06:39 What is Assisted Living and Who is it for? 12:52 Question #1: Do you accept the Elderly Waiver or Cadi Waiver? 25:57 Question #2: How are the activities? 30:43 Question #3: Medication Management and Independence  35:37 What things should you be looking for when touring Assisted Living? 37:24 Robyn's horrible experience with assisted living 44:19 What is an ombudsman and knowing your rights 48:23 Debunking the misconceptions about Assisted Living 53:07 Why does Assisted Living cost so much? 56:19 Family Owned, Corporate, Non Profit or Adult Foster Care 58:50 What is a 'Navigator' and are they helpful? 01:01:08 Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care and Skilled Nursing 01:06:31 The Future of Assisted Living Links + Resources: Carefree Cottages of Maplewood [https://carefreemn.com/] Cost of Long Term Care Calculator [https://www.carescout.com/cost-of-care] - this is an AMAZING resource where you can estimate the cost of care in your specific area of the United States. Powered by Carescout [https://www.carescout.com/] State of MN Ombudsman [https://mn.gov/omhdd/]Minnesota  [https://www.health.state.mn.us/facilities/regulation/billofrights/docs/albor_eng.pdf] Bill of Rights for Assisted Living [https://www.health.state.mn.us/facilities/regulation/billofrights/docs/albor_eng.pdf] A Place at the Table [https://www.aplaceatthetable.us/] - an example of adult foster care.  National Domestic Workers Alliance [https://www.domesticworkers.org/] Caring Across Generations [https://caringacross.org/] Molly Mogren Katt [https://mollymogrenkatt.com/]- explore more of Molly’s personal + creative work!

Episode 5: The Loneliness of Caregiving with Jessica Kim of ianacare

Ever have one of those moments where you just want to scream a little? Caregiving can feel like that, especially when well-meaning people say things that completely miss the mark. Those small comments can add up, and before you know it, you’re carrying a kind of loneliness that’s hard to put into words. Whether you’re supporting a loved one through a terminal diagnosis, navigating aging, walking alongside someone at the end of life, or grieving after they’re gone, the “in-between” losses can feel overwhelming. Life keeps moving all around you, and somehow you’re expected to keep up. And if you’re a sandwiched caregiver? You might find yourself craving moments of joy in the middle of it all - only to be met with guilt (or even a little side-eye) when you actually have fun. Simple, right? In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa and Robyn sit down with Jessica Kim, founder of Ianacare [https://ianacare.com/] (“I Am Not Alone Care”). Jessica has spent most of her adult life as a caregiver while raising three kids, and she’s turned that experience into a mission to support others navigating the same challenges. Together, we talk about the loneliness of caregiving, finding connection, and giving yourself permission to hold both grief and joy at the same time. Because at the end of the day, you’re not alone—we’re in this together. Takeaways * Loneliness creeps in and can be all consuming when you’re a caregiver.  * The fork in the road: Do you need to leave your career to be a caregiver? * Our Mindset: How we reframe things is huge - we need to balance JOY in caregiving * The THREE day rule - how have you tended to your priorities over the course of three days?  * Kids + activities * Marriage * Friends * Wellness / gym * Work * Faith * How does full time caregiving effect our children? Do they see our stress as much as we feel it? * Culture Change: Lets not make others feel guilty while seeking JOY while they are GRIEVING * Ianacare: [https://ianacare.com/] How this company supports families and helps them with loneliness. Also: a HUGE Medicare GUIDE program [https://info.ianacare.com/guide?utm_campaign=23143814-Road%20to%201%2C000%20-%20Leads&utm_source=ianacare-site&utm_medium=caregiver-page&utm_content=website] for families with Alzheimer's! Links + Resources:  Ianacare Website [https://ianacare.com/] Follow Ianacare on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/ianacare/] Caring for someone with Dementia? See if you Qualify for the Medicare GUIDE Program [https://info.ianacare.com/guide?utm_campaign=23143814-Road%20to%201%2C000%20-%20Leads&utm_source=ianacare-site&utm_medium=caregiver-page&utm_content=website] - at NO cost to you! Chapters: 00:00 Intros and our Meet Cute with Jessica Kim 02:29 Jessica's Caregiving Story 22:30 Mindshift: Reframing Priorities in Caregiving 29:04 Impact of Caregiving on Children 38:07 Seeking Joy Amidst Grief 43:47 The Loneliness of Caregiving 47:23 How caregiving changes you 55:05 IANACare and a Medicare funded program for Caregivers 01:02:59 Engagement and Community Building 01:03:35 Outro

Episode 4: For anyone who has a ‘Difficult Parent’, this one’s for you! With Molly Darsow from Still Waters Mediation

Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation is already a full-contact sport. One minute you’re negotiating with a toddler over broccoli, the next your parents are on the phone… also negotiating, but with guilt trips and passive-aggressive commentary. Cool, cool, cool. So what’s the move when everyone needs something and someone’s being downright difficult? In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa talk with family mediator Molly Darsow, owner of Still Waters Mediation [https://stillwatersmediation.com/]. (Yes—family mediator. Because sometimes families need a referee.) Molly shares expert advice on setting boundaries with parents, managing emotional triggers, and improving communication in challenging family dynamics.If you’ve ever thought “there has to be a better way to deal with this,” this one’s for you. If you’re caring for aging parents while raising kids, navigating sibling tension, or just trying not to lose your mind during one more “interesting” phone call—this episode will give you tools, validation, and maybe even a little laugh. Takeaways * We are born into family systems and when our parents age or pass away, those roles within the system are wildly disrupted.  * We always hold onto our inner child.  * When we’re family, we all know each other’s triggers - that never leaves us. * There might be a generational difference in how we talk about our emotions. * There is A LOT of vulnerability in aging.  * Shutting down bad behaviors is totally legit.  * It sounds annoying but acceptance, compassion and time are three of the best ways to handle a difficult parent. * Communication takes active practice on everyone’s part and Molly gives tips on doing this effectively. Chapters 00:00 Introduction with Molly Darsow of Still Waters Mediation 02:55 What is Mediation and why might I need it? 09:40 Managing Triggers and Emotional Responses 11:39 Strategies for Difficult Conversations 30:31 Establishing Boundaries with Parents 33:47 Acknowledging Loss and Change 38:49 The Driving Conversation - is anything more difficult than this? 48:18 What to do when a parent is guilting you? 58:07 Sibling Relationships and Triangulation 01:05:50 Managing Difficult Parents in Front of Children 01:11:11 Outro Links and Resources: Still Waters Mediation  [https://stillwatersmediation.com/] Care out Loud Conversation starter Cards [https://www.wecareoutloud.org/caregiver-conversations/]