The Hood Moved With Me

The Gate Was Never Locked

Do a quick check-in right now. Look down at your shoes. Look at your hands. Feel the weight of yourself sitting in that chair or standing on that floor. Actually tap into the exact space you’re occupying in this room. I bring that up because most of the time, our bodies are here, but our minds are completely checked out. We’re logged into last week replaying some old drama, or we’re fast-forwarding into next month, sweating over stuff that hasn’t even happened yet. Always playing that “when-then” game. “When this situation clears up, then I can finally breathe.” “When I get over this next hurdle, then I’ll start doing me.” That’s treating today like a waiting room for a flight that keeps getting delayed. We’re chasing a moving target. Right now is the only piece of time that actually holds any real currency. If you’re always living in tomorrow, you’re trapped. If you’re stuck in yesterday, you’re carrying dead weight. The only place where you are completely unbothered, unlocked, and free is right here in this exact second. The Smoke Screen There’s this idea we carry around that a massive, heavy iron gate is standing between the day-to-day grind and real peace. Like we’re waiting for a green light from the world, or waiting for somebody else to say it’s okay before we can step out and own our life. But looking closer reveals that the gate is a total illusion. It’s a smoke screen. It looks thick, dark, and heavy from a distance. But the moment the hesitation stops and you just take a step forward? You walk right through it. Your foot hits solid ground. Nobody has to pass over a crown for you to be the boss of your own life. Nobody has to hand out a hall pass for you to take your seat back. The opening is already there. Sometimes the only thing making the wall look so big is just standing back and staring at it. Evicting the Squatters Of course, the minute you try to just sit still and enjoy right now, the brain starts getting noisy. All those old doubts and past situations start creeping in, whispering, “You remember what happened last time,”or “You’re not ready for this.” Think of those thoughts like squatters. If somebody snuck into your house, sat on your furniture, ate your food, and started tearing the place up without contributing a dime to the rent you wouldn’t let them chill there. You’d throw them out on the street immediately. Those negative, loud thoughts are doing the exact same thing. They’re living rent-free in your head, but they don’t own the property. You do. When your space gets crowded and noisy with everyone else’s opinions and old memories, it’s impossible to hear your own voice. Clearing out that chatter isn’t about being perfect; it’s just about reclaiming the real estate in your own head so you can actually hear your own intuition. The Open Hand (The Detachment Shift) But here is where the real test comes in. Even when you clear the noise, you have to look at how tightly you’re gripping your life. Most of us are walking around with a script in our heads about how tomorrow is supposed to go. We think it has to happen by a certain date, in a certain way, or it’s a failure. That is attachment. And attachment is just another way of living in a future that doesn’t exist yet. You’re literally spending today’s currency to buy tomorrow’s anxiety. Picture a clenched fist. When you’re stressing over a specific outcome, your fist is tight. You’re trying to squeeze reality into the shape you want. But a clenched fist does two things: it makes your arm tired, and it makes it impossible for you to receive anything new. Life can try to hand you a blessing, but your hand is too full of the old script to take it. Detachment is just opening your hand. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, and it doesn’t mean you stop grinding. It just means you have the confidence to let life flow freely. When your hand is open, things can come and go without ripping your skin off. You keep your peace non-negotiable. The Thermostat When you let go of that grip, that’s when you actually have the power to choose how you show up. A lot of times, people operate like a thermometer. A thermometer can only reflect the temperature of whatever is around it. If the room is freezing, it reads freezing. If the environment is frantic, messy, and loud, their whole internal energy becomes frantic, messy, and loud. The outside weather dictates their inside peace because they’re too attached to the chaos. But there’s a much better option. Being the thermostat. A thermostat doesn’t care if it’s dropping below zero outside. It sets the temperature for the room, and the room has to adjust to it. Staying locked into the present moment with an open hand is how you set your own temperature. It’s no longer about reacting to the storm; your internal stillness is what keeps the storm from getting inside. The authority over your focus and your will is already there, but you can only tap into it when you let go of the script and live in the present tense. When I write, it’s for me first then I share with you. I’m gonna ask myself this question… Is it going to be another day spent sitting in the waiting room with a clenched fist, or is it time to open my hand, step through the smoke screen, and set the temperature? Get full access to The Soul Behind It at imaginemeinnovation.substack.com/subscribe [https://imaginemeinnovation.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

WHENCE YOU CAME: The Eviction Notice

Look, we need to have a real conversation. Do me a favor and look around your space right now. Look at your car, look at your room, or just look in the mirror. Let’s get completely real for a second. Have you ever looked in the mirror and realized that the voice speaking to you was wearing your own face? It is that voice that shows up in fear but tries to call itself wisdom. It whispers limits to you. It tries to make you believe it is the truth. It is the ultimate deception. It is that quiet, heavy anxiety that tells you to wait. It makes you think every closed door means you are not ready, or that every storm you hit is just your fate. The Pivot For a huge part of my life, I sat back. I let a total stranger sit in my seat and make my choices before I could even think. I let negative energy, old attachments, and fear live rent-free right underneath my feet. I want you to pause right here with me. Who or what is sitting in your seat right now? Is it anxiety? Is it doubt? Take a deep breath, recognize it, and realize the lease is up today. A shift happened in me where I finally said, “Enough. You know the rest.” That is exactly why this song exists. The Power of the Command Hear me clearly on this. The name of the song itself holds the entire key to this shift. When you say “WHENCE YOU CAME, RETURN AGAIN,” you are not asking nicely, you are not whispering, and you are not making a request. You are issuing a direct command. Why is your voice so important? Because silence is compliance. If you do not use your voice to speak against what is bothering your spirit, you are basically giving it permission to stay. The power in this specific command is everything. It is the absolute most powerful weapon you have to rebuke negativity, break off heavy energy, and call your power back within. When those words leave your mouth, you are operating in your true authority. You are effectively telling every single demon, every devil, and every false attachment to pack its bags and go right back to the exact pit where it came from. It has to go. You are commanding it to leave your presence, and it has no choice but to obey the sound of your voice. This song is a powerful cleansing method. It is a way to look at anything trying to oppress you and say, “You do not belong here. This mind, this body, and this life is mine.” Live Call and Response So we are going to practice this together right now. I do not care if you are in your car or walking down the street. I am going to ask the question, and I want you to say the answer out loud with me. Do not hold back. Let the atmosphere hear your voice. Who leads? I lead. Who speaks? I speak. Who chooses? I choose. Who reigns? I reign. The Outro Out There is no throne here for negativity to sit on, and there is no crown for it to claim. You are the authority of your own life. You have the right to take your seat back right now. Feel the bass in your chest, and experience this spiritual shift for yourself. Get them out of your house. Let’s go. May the wisdom within guide you, the freedom within carry you, and the love within remind you….it is already done! —Renee’ Transmitter of pain into power Get full access to The Soul Behind It at imaginemeinnovation.substack.com/subscribe [https://imaginemeinnovation.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

The Hood Moved With Me

The Paperwork of Trauma You know what’s crazy? You can get yourself up out the mud, right? Get your money right, get your credit right, move in a spot where the hot water actually works every single time you turn the knob… and your nervous system will still be back on the block, checking the locks and waiting for the lights to flicker. Like, your life changes, but your mind is still stuck in old conditioning. At least, that’s what I’ve been on lately. I was driving the other day, just thinking about my people. Family, friends. And I realized… I don’t even care about wishing luxury on the people I love anymore. Luxury is whatever. It’s cute. But I want them to have relief. Those are two completely different things. Luxury is a bag or a trip. Relief? Relief is the real luxury. It’s being able to sleep at night without waking up at three in the morning doing frantic math in your head, trying to stretch pennies into dollars. It’s answering the phone without immediately assuming someone’s locked up or in the hospital. It’s opening the mailbox and not getting that little shot of adrenaline like you’re about to get tackled by a collections notice. I’ve always believed in a little bit of magic, but I also know that we are the ones holding the pen. We create our own reality. Things don’t just manifest out of thin air; they happen because you align your energy and your focus to make room for them. And I’ve been aligned. I’ve built that relief in layers over the years. I put myself in positions where the right people entered my world. The lights are on. The fridge is full. Nobody is trying to pull the rug from under me. But tell me why, literally last week, I’m out to dinner, the bill comes, and I slide my card across the table knowing darn well the money is there. The transaction goes through, the receipt prints, and my stomach still does a backflip. I’m checking my bank app in the parking lot like I just committed a crime. That’s not budgeting. That was my nervous system making sure peace didn’t scam me. I’ve been preparing for a disaster that isn’t even on the calendar. That’s when that old saying popped into my head: You can take the girl out of the hood, but you can’t take the hood out of the girl. For years, I thought that was just about how you talk, or the music you blast, or how you carry yourself. Now I know it’s about your nervous system. Because the hood isn’t just a geographic location. Sometimes... it’s just where your body lives. The hood packed its bags and moved right into my new chapter with me. The Trap of Peace & The Armor We Wear Some of us have blasted Drake’s “Started From the Bottom” [https://open.spotify.com/track/5DI9jxTHrEiFAhStG7VA8E?si=CgJf5DddTLa3iryVz84DmA] at one point, right? We scream the lyrics in the car, we love the come-up story. But nobody ever talks about what happens after the climb. What happens when the thing you’ve been working for and visualizing finally shows up? When you finally get the house, the safe neighborhood, the good partner… can you actually sit still in it? Or are you so used to running that peace feels boring? Or worse, peace feels dangerous? When life gets quiet, some of us don’t rest. We investigate. Nothing’s wrong, but our body starts whispering, “Give it a minute. Wait for the crash.” Sometimes we disturb our own peace just to make life feel familiar again. Why is this? Well, calm feels suspicious when chaos raised you. When you come from chaos, stability feels like a trap. We quote Biggie: “Mo Money Mo Problems [https://open.spotify.com/track/4INDiWSKvqSKDEu7mh8HFz?si=MkK1VZX9Tg2L2UcL0fppjg]”…..Back in the day I thought that meant money literally creates the drama. Now that I’m older? I think it’s a little deeper than that. Money doesn’t create the problems; money reveals them. Money doesn’t change you; it just turns the volume up on who you already are. If you’re secure, it gives your security room to breathe. But if you’re carrying fear? A bigger bank account just gives your anxiety a bigger playground to mess with you. A nice house solves real problems. It keeps the rain off your head. But it cannot buy you peace of mind. That’s an inside job. If you don’t fix the internal programming, you’re just gonna bring your old survival habits into your new sanctuary. The scenery changed, but the software didn’t. And I say all of this because I see it happening everywhere. I drive through our neighborhoods and I look at our sisters and brothers who are struggling out here. Some don’t have a place to lay their head. Some don’t have a car to get to work. And the world thinks the only solution is to just throw a check or a resource at the problem. But real talk? You can hand someone the keys to everything they’ve been praying for, but if you don’t help them heal the survival mode first, they will end up right back where they started. Survival mode is a magnet. If your mind is still programmed for scarcity, you will accidentally manifest scarcity just to make the world match your internal comfort zone. We have to get ourselves ready for the abundance before it even shows up. We have to practice peace right now, while we are being taken care of, so that when the next level opens up, we actually have the capacity to hold it. True help isn’t just changing someone’s zip code. True help is giving a person the knowledge to rewrite the software, so they don’t fumble the very thing they’ve been praying for. And it leaks into how we love. Somebody treats you right, and instead of basking in it [https://open.spotify.com/track/6aP0g8rV0Vs3WsuQFNaOhA?si=R9-lCScPQiG3OrmBH5ANZw], you start looking for the hidden cameras. You’re waiting for the trapdoor to open. That’s not protection; that’s trauma acting like a security guard. We mistake our shields for our identity. You think, “That’s just how I am.” No, that’s just how you survived. The shield protects you, but it also blocks the good stuff. You can’t feel love clearly when you’re braced for impact. You can’t feel a real hug when you’re wrapped in layers of steel. What protected you in your past will absolutely limit your future if you don’t learn how to take it off. Pacing in Boots & Finding “Me” I caught myself the other day literally rehearsing an argument in the bathtub that hadn’t even happened. Arguing with the wall, getting my heart rate up, getting mad at what somebody might say to me if they decide to cross a line. Like… look at that. The sky is blue outside, I got food downstairs, and I am in the bathtub manufacturing a war. Some of us treat alignment like trial subscriptions. We enjoy them with one eye open, just waiting for the chargeback. If that is you right now… if you are catching yourself packing bags for a trip to a disaster that isn’t even happening, I’d like you to take a breath. Stop. Look around the room. Take an inventory of what is actually happening right now in this exact second. Hear me when I say this: The storm passed. There is no other shoe dropping from the ceiling. You are safe in your house, but you are still pacing the hardwood floors in heavy combat boots. Take ’em off. Let your feet touch the carpet. Relax your shoulders. You aren’t running anymore. This isn’t then. This is now. You are safe. For real though, that’s how my new song, “Staircase,” got written. People may think artists learn a lesson, get completely healed, and then sit down to write a song about it. Nah, not me. I write songs when I’m in turmoil. Most of my songs are written in the dead-center of confusion, when I’m still trying to figure out why I’m waiting on a ghost to pop out the closet. There’s a moment in the song where it just says three words: “There you are.” The first time those words came out of my mouth in the studio, I had to stop. Because it didn’t sound like I was celebrating making it to the top. It sounded like recognition. Like you’ve been looking for someone in a packed room for three hours, and you finally spot them through the crowd. You’re gonna yell… “There you are.” I realized I wasn’t trying to become some brand-new, fancy version of myself. I was just trying to find the girl I lost while I was busy trying to survive. I wanted to find the me buried under the armor, the high alert, and the constant hustle. I had to realize that the girl who survived was a hero, but I didn’t need her to fight a war that was already over. Survival was never meant to be a permanent address. It’s just a campsite. Some seasons are just meant to teach you how to endure, but you gotta know when that season is over. There is nothing more sad than life opening a brand-new door for you, and you’re still standing on the doorstep, holding the rusty keys to a room you left five years ago. Every mistake, every broke month, every fake friend, every tear… it was all just a step. I just couldn’t see the climb because I was too busy staring at the bruises from the fall. Staircase [https://open.spotify.com/track/3Y4yd1KhQOeNHYB3quoeCB?si=jdZ3XuV8SdmFCON4eXY3Ag] So listen. If you’re driving right now, or doing the dishes, or walking through your neighborhood... and your life has been getting better but your mind hasn’t got the memo yet? Be patient with yourself. You are learning how to live somewhere you’ve never been before. That takes time. I’m leaving you with “Staircase.” I didn’t write it from a perfect place. I wrote it while my own software was glitching. Music is crazy because the same song will hand ten different people ten different keys. I hope this one opens up whatever door you’ve been scared to walk through. Stop fighting old ghosts. Look around. You made it. Take those boots off. You’re safe. I love you! Get full access to The Soul Behind It at imaginemeinnovation.substack.com/subscribe [https://imaginemeinnovation.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

When Love Comes Back Online

Mother’s Day can feel beautiful and heavy in the same morning. One person wakes up excited to make reservations and buy flowers. Somebody else wakes up already trying not to cry. A woman somewhere is standing in the kitchen making breakfast before she’s even had a second to sit down. Somebody else is in the grocery store with their calculator pulled up and a cart half full, trying to make sure everybody eats this week without letting the stress show on their face. Whew. That is a lot to carry before noon. Life can hold beauty and pain in the same hand. Somewhere in the middle of all that, this song started making even more sense to me. This is the Mother’s Day edition of The Soul Behind It, and I wanted this episode to feel like a real conversation about love. The kind that makes you feel a little less alone. That “did you make it home?” text. A plate fixed without twenty questions. A softer voice on a complicated day. You can be in survival mode so long your body starts acting like tense is normal. Bills. Parenting. Work. Grief. Disappointment. Heartbreak. You keep moving because you have to. Then one random moment catches you off guard. Folding laundry. Sitting in the car after work before going inside. Hearing a song at the wrong time and suddenly your chest feels heavy for reasons you can’t even explain. I know that feeling personally. I lost my mother at 19, so Mother’s Day has carried different meanings for me throughout my life. I also know what it feels like to be a single mother, loving your kids with everything in you while trying to keep the bills, food, emotions, and your own exhausted body from falling apart. There were seasons where life hit me so hard I questioned why I was even here. I was tired. And not in a way sleep could fix. Heartbreak can do that. Financial stress can too. Feeling unseen over and over can slowly wear down your self-esteem and your relationship with yourself. Folks smiling in brunch photos today might still cry in the shower tonight. Social media hardly ever posts that part. Somewhere in the middle of my harder seasons, I started noticing something. The more I learned how to love myself with actual care, the more strength I had when life got rough. I mean feeding myself properly when my mind was racing instead of stress-eating a sleeve of Oreos. Resting without guilt. Choosing not to become my own enemy on top of everything else already going on. Those little shifts helped me more than I realized at the time. Self-love goes way past cute quotes and spa days. It’s how you treat yourself when life gets ugly. It’s catching yourself before your mind starts dragging you somewhere dark. It’s giving yourself enough patience to breathe, regroup, and keep going without mentally tearing yourself apart. That’s why music feels like medicine to me. A song can sit beside you without asking you to explain your pain first. A voice can enter a space and soften the air a little. Music reaches places regular conversations sometimes can’t. I kept thinking about that saying, April showers bring May flowers. It sounds sweet until you’ve lived through enough rain to understand what it really means. Some Aprils feel endless, with bills stacked on the counter, your nervous system worn out, and reality testing you while you’re still trying to stay hopeful. Then May shows up with color anyway. The rain wasn’t easy. Something underneath the ground kept growing while everything looked crazy on the surface. When writing Love Still Knows the Way, I had all of this in mind. And yes, I’m talking about romantic love too, because let’s not play. Most of us want to be held, cared for, touched with tenderness, and loved without all the confusion attached to it. But I also mean everyday love. Sharing food when you can. Noticing when somebody who usually talks a lot gets quiet and simply asking, “You good?” A lot of us need tenderness way more than we admit. That’s why this song carries so much weight. It carries the energy I want moving through this world… love showing up in how we treat ourselves and each other. I want love to find its way into homes, conversations, and our character. Even in ordinary moments. A shared plate. A little patience with somebody having a rough day. That alone could bring change. So when you listen to this song, give it a few minutes without multitasking. Let it find the part of you that’s tired and still wanting love to feel safe. And if somebody came to mind while you were listening, send this to them. Just as a little, “Hey, I thought about you here.” Sometimes love sounds like a shared podcast and a simple text. Before I play my song, I want to say this with my whole heart… I’m really glad you’re here. Still choosing another day and letting life have another chance to meet you with love. Remember now, somehow… love still knows the way. Get full access to The Soul Behind It at imaginemeinnovation.substack.com/subscribe [https://imaginemeinnovation.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

My Voice Walked In

I never saw this day coming. Boy, am I stepping out with this one. This is the introduction of my first song sung and produced by me. Matter of Voice is live, y’all. And yes, it’s me. My style, my tone, and my personality are wrapped all through it. For about a year now, I’ve used digitally assisted vocals to bring my music to life. That has been part of my process, and I’m so grateful for it because it helped me embody and share my messages while I was still figuring out how to bring my own voice fully online. We live in a time where technology can help shape sound. There are tools that clean up vocals, smooth out rough spots, and make things easier on the ear in ways we did not always have access to. I’m thankful for those tools too. They helped me take what was in me and bring it into a form I could share. The tools helped, but they didn’t replace me. It’s my voice in there, figuring it out in real time. Music has always been huge in my life. It has helped shape moments, hold memories, and carry me through a lot of life’s challenges. Lately, when I’m going through something, I know how to turn my pain or my happiness into a song. I started all of this to help myself. Then it grew into something bigger, and I thought, “You know what? Somebody else may need this too.” That’s how the podcasts, blogs, and catalog of over 200 songs made it this far. Music is how I process life. Years ago, I had a dream so real, omg. I woke myself up singing beautifully and loud as hell. Apparently, in the dream, my voice was amazing. There was no question in the dream. But when I woke up in real life, baby, there were many questions and a little bit of sadness. I didn’t know where that dream was going or what it meant. I just knew it felt important. Never would I have imagined that one day my voice would be on a track. But here we are. And for the first time in years, I can feel why that dream stood out so much. This episode is truly for that beautiful soul who has something creative inside them but keeps sitting on the fence. Whatever that creation may be, are you waiting to feel more confident? I get that. Confidence can be funny. In my experience, it didn’t show up first. It came after I tried, fumbled a lot, and found out the world did not end. I’ve never been trained as a dancer. I’ve never been known as the singer with all those fancy riffs and runs. I’m still learning and playing with my voice. I’m still trying to figure out what flows best for me. At the same time, I know there is something in me that needs to be heard. You can have something real in you before it’s polished. You can carry something powerful before you know how to bring it forward. What matters is beginning with what is in your hands right now. That right there has been one of the biggest lessons in my creative journey. Every time I took a fearless step, something showed up. A tool would pop up on social media. An idea would hit me while I was driving. A tutorial would answer the exact question I had been thinking about. I have lived this over and over. And I call it miracles. There were moments when I didn’t have the money, the setup, or the full plan, yet I would still get guided to what I needed. I believe my angels have been guiding me through this. They have dropped clues and direction in ways I couldn’t have planned if I tried. Every time I took that leap of faith, I was met with the means to help me bring forward what I had in my heart. Faith is a powerful force, and you definitely don’t need much. You don’t need the entire plan in your hand. You only need enough faith to move that foot forward. We’ve all heard about the mustard seed. Go pull one up online and see how big a mustard seed is. That’s all the faith you need. Then comes the next part: stepping out on that faith. That’s when the miracles start showing up to help you keep moving. Now, I have a little funny story. The creative side of me has been there since I was little. Back in either third or fourth grade at Maxine Bush in Phoenix, Arizona, I had my niece and my sister in a full talent show routine like I was running rehearsals for a world tour out of the living room. My niece was kindergarten tiny, and I had us in front of the living room mirror working on moves to The Boys’ “Dial My Heart” like we had contracts on the table. We were doing the snake, the running man, the moonwalk, and a few more moves. I was serious too. I probably had an attitude if somebody missed a count. And we won that talent show too! If there is footage somewhere, somebody please come find me. I need to see it. I might cringe myself into another dimension, but I still need to see it. That little girl had no idea how life would unfold. She didn’t know creativity would have to sit behind responsibility, motherhood, relationships, jobs, bills, survival mode… shoot the list goes on, right? But that creative part of me was always there. Now I’m allowing her to step out again. That’s what Matter of Voice is to me. It’s me using what I have right now: my voice, my tools, my faith, my guidance, and my willingness to try. I want somebody to hear this and stop waiting for everything to look perfect before they make that move. Use the phone, the notebook, the free version of the app. Use whatever you have available to you right now. That’s stepping out on faith. Then watch resources pop out of nowhere. I’m a witness! And have so many stories! You can learn while you move. And guess what? You also can grow into the gift by actually using it. That’s what’s happening for me. A little faith, some helpful technology, divine guidance, and one step I finally took. So I’m here to encourage you….take your first step. Hold that faith. Then come back to me and tell me your miracle story. I can’t wait to hear it. A little insight before I play the song: I have a couple AI videos out there but I’m working on a video that will be raw and real me for this song. I’m dusting off my choreography notes because if I could win a dance talent show at 9, I can certainly pull something off now. Hmmmpph Get full access to The Soul Behind It at imaginemeinnovation.substack.com/subscribe [https://imaginemeinnovation.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]