"When Church Hurts: Wolves, Wounds, and the Path to Healing"

Your Partner Is A Mirror

In this episode, we unpack the idea that your partner can be a mirror—reflecting the places you still feel tender, triggered, or unintegrated—and how an intimate relationship can become a powerful path for growth. We share a real, recent moment of “intense fellowship” where old patterns surfaced, projections got named, and we had to choose devotion to each other’s souls (not each other’s egos). If you’ve ever felt afraid of conflict or unsure how to stay present through hard conversations, we hope this helps you feel less alone—and more equipped to stay in the room. Key Takeaways * What it means for your partner to be a “mirror” (and where nuance matters) * How unspoken needs create distance and trigger insecurity * The difference between devotion to someone’s ego and devotion to their soul * Why conflict can be necessary for intimacy and growth * Recognizing projection—and taking responsibility for your triggers * Love as a daily practice, not just a feeling * How staying present increases your relational capacity Related Episodes Episode 18: Foundations of Healthy Relationships [https://substack.com/@stayintheroom/note/p-188621241?r=1igd3l&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web] with Leigh-Anne LoPinto Episode 1: How Has Porn Affected Your Life? [https://substack.com/@stayintheroom/note/p-154861496?r=1igd3l&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web] Episode 8: Our Recovery Story [https://substack.com/@stayintheroom/note/p-158471797?r=1igd3l&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web] Resources How to Be an Adult [https://amzn.to/3OCm8CM] Conscious Loving [https://amzn.to/3OCm8CM] Heidi’s Group for Women [https://soul-care-75-community.mn.co/plans/1911941?bundle_token=343c135aab447ec7db188af6ce89447c&utm_source=manual] Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe [https://stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Foundations of Healthy Relationships

In this episode, we kick off season two with a jam-packed interview with Leigh-Anne LoPinto. Leigh-Anne’s work is devoted to the new paradigm of relationships. For the past 15 years, she has worked with people 1:1 and in groups to support healing and growth through relationships as a psychologist, breathwork teacher, and relationship advisor. She clearly sees, knows, and lives this path, understanding the terrain and pure potential that it holds as the key to the evolution of humanity. We cover the foundational skills and tools that everyone needs for healthy and dynamic relationships, and why this is what we are all being called to at this time. If you’ve ever sensed there’s “more” available in your relationship but didn’t know where to start, this episode offers both vision and practical next steps. This is a profound way for us to start season 2, with such a powerful voice in the realm of relationships, and we can’t wait for you to listen! Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Conscious Loving [https://amzn.to/4kHUrEp] (book recommendation) [https://amzn.to/4kHUrEp] Lynne Forrest’s work on the [https://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/]Drama Triangle [https://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/] (victim–rescuer–persecutor) [https://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/] Leigh-Anne LoPinto’s [https://www.love-evolved.us/start-here.html]“Start Here” [https://www.love-evolved.us/start-here.html] page, free resources including: [https://www.love-evolved.us/start-here.html] Secure attachment teaching + quick assessment Codependency teaching video (approx. 2.5 hours) Leigh-Anne’s YouTube Channel [https://www.youtube.com/@love.evolved] Want to Connect? Subscribe to our Substack for reflections, bonus content, and deeper insights: Follow us on Instagram: @stayintheroompodcastSend us your questions or feedback at stayintheroompodcast@gmail.com Final Thoughts:If you’ve been telling yourself “it’s fine,” but deep down you know you’re craving something truer—more connected, more honest, more alive—this episode is a beautiful place to begin. Relationships aren’t meant to be a performance or a power struggle. They can be a mirror, a teacher, and a path of healing. You don’t have to overhaul your whole life overnight—start with one small step, one honest reflection, one brave conversation. Thank you for staying in the room with us. We’d Love to Hear from You! What resonated most with you from this episode? Let us know in the comments, send us an email, or DM us on Instagram—we love hearing from our listeners. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe [https://stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Write or Flight: Heidi's Memoir Adventure in Peru

Episode SummaryIn this episode, Jonathan interviews Heidi about her upcoming adventure—competing on Write or Flight, the first-ever reality TV show for memoir writers. Heidi shares how she was selected to join nine writers from around the world in Cusco, Peru, where they’ll live together, go on adventures, and compete in memoir-writing challenges. More than a competition, this journey is about reclaiming joy, leaning into vulnerability, and stepping into a long-awaited adventure. Heidi opens up about overcoming imposter syndrome, the challenges of being on camera, and why this experience feels like a soul reclamation. Key Takeaways * What Write or Flight is and how Heidi got selected * Why memoir writing is so personal and powerful * The mindset shift from “winning” to embracing the journey * How saying “yes” to adventure is changing Heidi’s story * Letting go of validation and trusting your creative path Related Episodes * Episode 14: Faith and Dyslexia: Learning Differently, Living Fully * Episode 13: When Church Hurts: Wolves, Wounds, and the Path to Healing Resources * Write or Flight Reality Show [https://www.writeorflightshow.com/] * The Memoir Engineering System: Make Your First Draft Your Final Draft [https://amzn.to/3GYJuP1] by Wendy Dale * Avoiding Prison and Other Noble Vacation Goals: Adventures in Love and Danger [https://amzn.to/4j299na] by Wendy Dale * Heidi's Substack: @stayintheroom Connect with UsEmail: stayintheroompodcast@gmail.comInstagram: @the_stayintheroompodcast [https://www.instagram.com/the_stayintheroompodcast] DisclaimerThis episode covers themes of vulnerability, creative risks, and personal transformation. Listener discretion advised. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe [https://stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Episode 14: Faith and Dyslexia

Episode Summary:In this special family episode, we’re joined by our daughter Faith to talk candidly about her experience living—and thriving—with dyslexia. Faith shares what it was like to be diagnosed later in childhood, how it shaped her relationship with learning, and the emotional journey of navigating a world that often misunderstands invisible disabilities. With honesty, humor, and insight beyond her years, Faith opens up about her academic struggles, what helped her fall in love with reading and writing, and how dyslexia shaped her empathy, creativity, and determination. This is a conversation for anyone supporting a neurodivergent child, navigating learning differences themselves, or simply seeking to understand how the brain can work differently—and brilliantly. Key Takeaways * What it feels like to grow up with an undiagnosed learning disability * How getting identified with dyslexia brought relief, language, and direction * Why audio books (“ear reading”) and tech tools are game-changers * The emotional toll of feeling behind—and how to reframe that story * How self-advocacy, humor, and creativity helped Faith reclaim her voice * Why calling it a disability can be powerful, not shameful * The importance of validation and support in a world that rewards conformity Link Back to Previous Episodes:Episode 6: Demon Hunting: How Hyper-Vigilance Kept Us in Fear [https://stayintheroom.substack.com/p/demon-hunting-how-hyper-vigilance] – Exploring fear-based systems and the pressure to perform Episode 13: When Church Hurts: Wolves, Wounds, and the Path to Healing [https://stayintheroom.substack.com/p/when-church-hurts-wolves-wounds-and] – Creating safety and healing after being misunderstood Resources & Mentions * The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan [https://amzn.to/434DFXQ] by Ben Foss * Speechify [https://speechify.com/?srsltid=AfmBOopqtwfi0lt4V0Yn-4znw5xu1MPi3dSWywbHtC-ATqcHhAFlonRK] Connect with Us:Email us: stayintheroompodcast@gmail.comFollow on Instagram: @the_stayintheroompodcast [https://www.instagram.com/the_stayintheroompodcast]Share your thoughts or submit questions for future episodes! Disclaimer:This episode includes open conversations about invisible disabilities, neurodivergence, and educational challenges. Listener discretion is advised for those navigating sensitive experiences with learning differences. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe [https://stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

"When Church Hurts: Wolves, Wounds, and the Path to Healing"

Episode Summary This episode goes deep. We’re joined by longtime friend, pastor, and adoption advocate Randy Bohlender for a raw and timely conversation about spiritual abuse, leadership failures, and how to keep your faith intact after being wounded by the church. Randy brings both pastoral wisdom and personal reflection to the table as we talk about the difference between flawed leaders and dangerous ones—what it means to identify “wolves in the church,” and why some communities enable harmful behavior in the name of ministry success. We explore hard questions about complicity, spiritual bypassing, and the fallout of trusting institutions more than the people they’re meant to serve. Randy shares candidly about his own journey of healing, growth, and learning to name what’s true—even when it’s painful.If you’ve ever wrestled with church hurt, spiritual disillusionment, or how to rebuild trust in faith spaces, this conversation is for you. Key Takeaways * How to spot spiritual abuse and power dynamics in church leadership * Why good fruit doesn’t cancel out harmful roots * The dangers of idolizing leaders and minimizing harm * What it looks like to stay in the room without staying silent * Steps toward healing when you’ve been hurt by the church * The difference between agreement and validation in walking with others  Link Back to Previous Episodes Episode 6: Demon Hunting: How Hyper-Vigilance Kept Us in Fear [https://stayintheroom.substack.com/p/157500622] – When fear masquerades as faith Episode 2: The Partner’s Perspective [https://stayintheroom.substack.com/p/155373032] https://stayintheroom.substack.com/p/155373032– Heidi’s story of healing from relational and spiritual trauma Links Email us: stayintheroompodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram: @the_stayintheroompodcast [https://www.instagram.com/the_stayintheroompodcast] Learn more about Zoe’s House Adoption Agency: Zoe’s House [https://zoeshouseadoptions.com] Follow Randy on X: @RBohlender [https://twitter.com/rbohlender] Disclaimer This episode includes honest discussions about spiritual abuse and church trauma. Listener discretion is advised. Side effects may include reflection, clarity, and a renewed desire for truth, accountability, and wholeness. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe [https://stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]