23: Identity: Why You Keep Falling Back (and How to Change It)

23: Identity: Why You Keep Falling Back (and How to Change It)

You can want better habits.You can set better goals.But if you still see yourself as “not disciplined,” “not confident,” or “not focused,” you’ll eventually drift back to old patterns.In this episode, Professor Brumitt and Professor Beane talk about the difference between behavior change and identity change—and why identity is the deeper root that drives what you do (and what your kids do).You’ll hear:Why labels and nicknames shape identity (for better or worse)How parents unintentionally create “small boxes” for kidsWhy even positive labels can become limitingHow martial arts helps rebuild identity through evidence (stripes, forms, tests, small wins)A practical parenting approach: praise effort first, then techniqueA powerful real-life story about bedtime identity-building phrases and why they matterA simple weekly challenge: listen to your language and choose one small action that supports the identity you wantIf you’ve ever said (or heard) “I’m just not ___,” this episode will help you change the script. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tristarkarate.substack.com [https://tristarkarate.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

22: What Does It Really Mean to Follow Jesus?

What does it actually mean to follow Jesus? For many people, faith can feel like belief, knowledge, or tradition. However, when you look at the life of Jesus, it becomes clear that following Him is something much deeper—it’s a daily way of living. In this episode, Professor Brumitt and Professor Beane break down what it truly looks like to follow Jesus in real, practical terms. From the way we speak, to how we respond under pressure, to how we serve others—following Jesus isn’t about perfection, it’s about direction. We talk through key biblical examples, the difference between knowing and following, and simple steps you can start practicing today: time in Scripture, honest prayer, serving without expecting anything back, forgiving quickly (with wisdom and boundaries), and choosing obedience one day at a time. Whether you’re new to faith or you’ve been around it for years, this conversation will challenge, encourage, and ground you in what it really means to live like Jesus. Key Scriptures Mentioned * Matthew 4:19 * Luke 9:23 * Luke 10 (The Good Samaritan) * John 13 (Jesus washes the disciples’ feet) * Matthew 4 (Jesus tempted in the wilderness) * Romans 6:23 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tristarkarate.substack.com [https://tristarkarate.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

21: Becoming, Not Just Doing: Martial Arts vs Other Activities

If you’re a parent trying to choose the right activity for your child, you’ve probably felt the pressure: sports, dance, music, gymnastics, STEM clubs—every option sounds good, and every option promises a benefit. But here’s the real question: Are we just trying to fill time… or are we trying to build a kid? In Episode 21 of The Tri-Star Podcast, Professor Brumitt and Professor Beane unpack the difference between doing and becoming—and why martial arts, when it’s taught the right way, can become a training tool for life. In this episode, you’ll learn: * The simple framework: Activity vs Becoming * Why most programs end when class is over, but martial arts can carry into everyday life * How martial arts supports whole-child growth (physical, mental, emotional, character, life skills, and social skills) * Respectful comparisons: martial arts vs team sports, dance, music, gymnastics, and academic clubs * Why the uniform doesn’t guarantee the outcome: the system and the people do * The 6 green flags to watch for during your child’s trial (structure, coaching, engagement, safety, standards-based progress, and intentional character development) * What to expect in week 1 vs week 2 of your trial * The key questions to ask at the end of your trial Grab the free guide (printable) Download: How to Choose the Right Martial Arts School for Your ChildIncludes: 5 misconceptions, 6 green flags, 6 red flags, and 5 questions to ask any school. Link: https://tristarkarate.com/choose-martial-arts-school/ [https://tristarkarate.com/choose-martial-arts-school/] New episodes drop every Wednesday. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tristarkarate.substack.com [https://tristarkarate.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

20: Ten Thousand Conversations: Why Repetition Isn’t Failure

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you’ve said the same thing to your kid 50 times… and nothing seems to stick? In this episode, Professor Brumitt and Professor Beane explain why that frustration doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means you’re parenting. Real growth doesn’t come from one big speech. It comes from ten thousand small conversations over time: reminders, encouragements, corrections, and little moments of connection that slowly shape your child’s character. You’ll hear a powerful anchor from Proverbs 15:1 (“A soft answer turns away wrath…”), plus practical tools you can use immediately: * Why calm + consistent beats intense * How to use teaspoon bites instead of emotional lectures * Why the what without the why feels like “because I said so” * How pre-decided phrases (parenting “SOPs”) help you respond without losing control * Why repair is leadership — and how apologizing teaches your child how to reconnect after a hard moment Want a free chapter from Duane’s book 10,000 Conversations? Visit tristarkarate.com/10K to download it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tristarkarate.substack.com [https://tristarkarate.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

19: Failure: Why Your Kids Need It More Than Success

Every parent wants confident kids. Every parent wants strong kids. Every parent wants happy kids. But here’s the truth: happiness comes and goes, confidence grows over time, and failure is one of the greatest teachers your child will ever have. In Episode 19 of The Tri-Star Podcast, Professor Brumitt and Professor Beane break down what “healthy failure” actually looks like (not shame, not punishment, not quitting) and give you a simple framework you can use the next time your child is frustrated, embarrassed, or disappointed—so they learn to bounce back, try again, and build earned confidence that lasts. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tristarkarate.substack.com [https://tristarkarate.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]