Episode 11: How to Connect with Teenage Boys

Episode 11: How to Connect with Teenage Boys

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2437890/fan_mail/new] A fifteen-year-old sits on the couch, eyes down, one-word answers. His parents are terrified they've lost him. Sound familiar? In this episode, Drs. Erica Liebman and David Shepard sit down with Robert Scholz, LMFT, LPCC — a private practice therapist and adjunct professor at Pepperdine with nearly 30 years of experience working with boys and men across the lifespan. Robert shares how he builds trust with teenage boys who never asked to be in therapy: tossing a football, walking side-by-side instead of facing off, getting curious about violent video games instead of judging them. We dig into motivational interviewing as a framework for meeting boys where they are, how to "reflect the grunt" when words won't come, the influence of hyper-masculine online spaces on today's teens, and what it really takes — patience, flexibility, and a willingness to let go of the agenda — to earn a boy's trust. If you work with adolescent boys, or are raising one, this conversation offers a different way in.

Episode 10: Need a Clear Map for Working with Male Clients? Dr. Andrew Smiler Has One

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2437890/fan_mail/new] In previous episodes, psychologists Erica Liebman and David Shepard have interviewed master therapists who take a relational approach to helping male clients. This time, we’re doing something different: We are learning about a pragmatic problem-solving approach, and a new way of conceptualizing our clients. Our guest is Dr. Andrew Smiler, a therapist with 30 years of clinical experience with men from 15 to 85. He has developed the Multifaceted Masculinity Framework – a masculine identity-based approach that fits with many men's problem-solving orientation.  Dr. Smiler describes the framework, and then two cases. Gary is the Breadwinner, and is suffering from depression due to his wife’s leaving him after he loses his job. Bart presents as the Unemotional Man, a man whose limited emotional awareness has left him chronically stressed and struggling to connect with the people around him. You will learn how these kinds of umbrella themes – seven in all - can guide you to understand what your client is experiencing, and what practical steps can be taken to relieve their symptoms. You don’t have to give up your relational approach to use Dr. Smiler’s framework. But it may open up your therapy work to innovative thinking about your clients and using interventions that may be powerful agents of change.  Dr. Smiler is the author of five books, including the bestseller, The Masculine Self.  His latest book is Clinical Work with Men: Understanding Masculinity in Psychotherapy, published in Spring 2026 by The American Psychological Association.

Episode 09: Part II on Assessing for Suicide: With Demonstration

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2437890/fan_mail/new] In Part 1 of this 2-part series, suicidologist, Dr. John-Sommers Flanagan discussed with Erica and David what researchers know and don’t know about why so many men kill themselves. While males and females attempt suicide in equal numbers, men are 3-4 times likely to succeed. John spoke to some of the things researchers do know – e,g., loss of a job and relationship break-ups are leading triggers for males.  But he also made clear how much we really don’t know. The episode ended with John promising to do a role play. This episode features that role play. John plays the therapist, and David plays the client, a middle-aged unsuccessful novelist, whose suicidal ideation was triggered by his wife’s confronting him with his failures. We’ll listen to, among other things, how John creates a collaborative, non-threatening style; his use of scaling intensity of emotions, and searching for what can lift them; and his continual empathic reflections ensuring a strong therapeutic relationship. John is a strong believer in the use of evidence-based therapy, so everything you hear is grounded in current research.

Episode 08: 40,000 Male Suicides A Year: Re-thinking How Therapists Should Be Assessing Their Male Clients

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2437890/fan_mail/new] Imagine this scenario. Your client is a middle-aged man - depressed, possibly suicidal. But he won’t talk about his feelings. He admits to suicidal ideation but brushes it off. You are very worried. You go through your assessment checklist and your acronyms, but they aren’t helping. This man is just too withdrawn. But you know that doing a suicide assessment right may be your most important task as a clinician. In this episode, Drs. Erica Liebman and David Shepard talk with Dr. John Sommers-Flanagan, a suicidologist who is also an expert in working with boys and men. Using cutting edge, evidence-based strategies, he will teach you, with examples, how to have an effective assessment conversation with a suicidal male. You will hear how an assessment can be a collaboration, not an interrogation.  This episode is Part 1 of a 2-part series on how to talk with males about their suicidal thoughts and feelings. The episode ends when Dr. Sommers-Flanagan is ready to do a demonstration of a suicide assessment. In the next episode (to be dropped two weeks after this one), you will hear that demonstration.

Episode 07: "Was that Appropriate?" Navigating Sexualized Comments from Male Clients

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2437890/fan_mail/new] Female therapists face unique challenges when male clients make sexualized comments—whether overt advances, suggestive language, or subtle seductive tones. These moments can rupture the therapeutic alliance and trigger countertransference, making it difficult to maintain boundaries while keeping the conversation therapeutic and shame-free. In this episode, Drs. Erica Liebman and David Shepard interview Dr. Ali Shames-Dawson, Director of Education at Therapists of New York and expert in men’s sexuality. Dr. Shames-Dawson helps female clinicians navigate sexual dynamics in treatment, offering practical strategies to understand men’s sexualized behavior and model effective boundary-setting language. She demonstrates how to protect yourself while keeping male clients feeling safe, set firm limits without shaming, and transform boundary violations into deeply therapeutic opportunities. Her approach is both no-nonsense about what’s unacceptable and compassionate in exploring the deeper meanings behind sexualized comments—helping clinicians turn challenging moments into powerful clinical work.