Stop over-Performing to prove your worth to others

(Start Here) I Was Last on My Own List - This Is That Story

New here? Start with this one. This is my story — and probably a little bit of yours too. At 44, I was a single mom with two kids, no savings, and everything to prove. So I did what so many of us do - I worked harder, gave more, pushed further. I overworked. I overpleased. I said yes when I meant no and kept producing results to prove I was worthy, capable, enough. And then my body said: not so fast. The panic attacks started. Not as a breakdown - as a message. My nervous system was waving a white flag, telling me I had been last on my own list for so long I had forgotten I was even on it. So I started small. I looked at trees in the sunshine. I danced in my apartment. I laughed with friends. I started stealing tiny moments back for myself - what I now call Delicious Moments. This is that story. And if you're in the messy middle right now, running on empty, holding everyone else together - this one is for you. Start here. 🌻 Loved this episode? Join Live Your Delicious Life — my free weekly newsletter for women in the messy middle. One story. One act of self-kindness. Every Tuesday. → Sign up here: liveyourdeliciouslife.kit.com. [https://liveyourdeliciouslife.kit.com]

Stop over-Performing to prove your worth to others

Take a minute, like give yourself a second to pause, and you may realize you don't want to do something. What? The idea of that is wild to so many of us. Choices? WTF? You have the right to take some space in between shit before making a decision or a move. You can say to yourself and others, let me think on this. That is gutsy and this is what Laura Aura, my guest this week, is all about. What makes her a Delicious guest is she stands for the understanding that what we have and need could be so easily right before us, if we pivot with desire. Ask, what do I want? Again, a big mind blow. Within the desire to have a more peaceful life where we are not running around constantly over performing, there are miracles of uniqueness and acheivements that we didn't even see on our landscape. Those gentle surprises where we say, "I want a peaceful home. I like being home. I like living in this country, or this city." And we don't have to explain why. Laura shares about her book writing journey (something I know quite a bit about as a former book coach) and we talk about the humbling permission to write a book. You will leave this interview on fire, and with a new agency to create deliciously in your life. You can find my newsletter - Live Your Delicious Life - here [https://liveyourdeliciouslife.kit.com]. I also am having The Exhale events in June and July which can be accessed through the newsletter. You can learn more about Laura here. [https://lauraaura.com] As always, rate and review so more women can find us. Thank you!

Disenfranchised Grief: The Less Obvious Losses Society Pushes Away

Sure, you may have divorced your ex, but you raised kids with him co-parenting for twenty years and then unexpectedly, he dies. A hole is left in your life, but mourning can be complicated, and perhaps your current partner doesn't understand. Or your job doesn't see that as an immediate family member and expects you to show up for your job. What about the grief when you child gets a diagnosis of Autism or OCD and you realize that they will have to work harder than other kids to get through life. Or that it will be more on your plate as a mom, juggling two other kids. Or someone you knew in recovery commits suicide due to addiction, and it hits you square in the heart, but feels bigger than it should? As women, we are navigating so many complex seemingly (to society mourning standards) minor losses and griefs every day, but we are expected to just take them on in our bodies and shoulder forward to all our responsibilities. To even stop for a moment and breathe can seem like too much time in our busy schedules but if we don't face the trauma and pain, we can get derailed in other emotional ways. Speaking today with Krista Hellman [https://www.kristahelman.com], a social worker and founder of the Trauma and Grief Institute in Ottawa, Ontario, I learned a lot about how we need to process attachment and mourning in our bodies. Krista wrote a book about the loss of her dog called Over ther Rainbow: The Love, Loss & Legacy of Your Dog, but it is about more than pet loss. She speaks of how connection can be continued beyond loss. Please rate and review this episode if you enjoyed it. I have a newsletter, Live Your Delicious Life [https://liveyourdeliciouslife.kit.com], where you can learn more about my events, The Exhale: Put Yourself First where we discover ways to bring more Delicious into your life.

Confessions of Burnout: How Overcoming Perfectionism Leads to More Joy

Susan Landers, M.D. tells us that perfectionism comes from our childhoods. Be good girls. Play well in a group. Don't be too bossy. Or if we didn't get the mothering or love we needed, then we try and receive that unconditional love by the praise we get from society. A lot of working moms fall into the perfectionist trap because they feel like they have to do all the things perfectly from work tasks to the birthday parties. And of course social media has made this worse. Susan talks about going from a 80 hour job in the NICU with three little kids to identifying her burn out and making changes in her professional life to better enjoy life more deliciously. She learned to block out time just for herself to do what she wanted on her calendar whether it was take a walk or call a friend. In fact, she admits that she has experienced burn out twice in her career - the second at age 62. She also breaks down the Eisenhower Matrix which identifies what in your life is urgent, or what you can delegate or get rid of. Without a tool like this, we can think its all-important and lose our perspective in the weeds of responsibility. Susan admits she was 50 years old when she learned how to say no. And silencing the inner critic, setting boundaries and practicing self-compassion is the key to get out of the perfectionism trap. Susan has a wonderful Substack Mom's Matter. [https://susanlandersmd819.substack.com] She has written several books and we discuss Good Enough is Your Super Power: Overcoming Perfectionism for Women by Silencing Your Inner Critic and Settting Boundaries on the show. Enjoyed our interview and the podcast as a whole? Please rate and review as that helps us get the word out to more "sandwich generation" women. I also have a newsletter liveyourdeliciouslife.kit.com. Join our community for a wealth of information and events.

Why A Little Naive Optimism Can Go A Long Way

How many of you are willing to walk away from a toxic job, pursue a passion project and be in naïve optimism while you do it? I know from my personal perspective, we tend with our careers or how we lead our kids to be in hard love, or face reality. Or we work ourselves to the perfectionist bone, having zero fun while we strive to "get it right." But with Dr. Vicki Johnson, she gives a solid sell on the idea of optimism, but also chipping away at projects with high effort. This in itself will lower the potential of being a perfectionist. She provided so many insightful takeaways in our interview, especially coming from a place where she juggled jobs, side hustles (built her platform ProFellow) and young kids, all crammed in a small apartment in San Francisco. Currently she lives in Bend, Oregon and has recently published her book, Pitch Your Potential: The Formula for Winning Dream Jobs, Awards, and Elite Opportunities. Would you like to be a part of the Delicious Life community where we are building events and connections? Please join me at liveyourdeliciouslife.kit.com [https://liveyourdeliciouslife.kit.com] where you can download for free my PDF Seven Acts of Self-Kindness. If you enjoyed today's podcast, please rate and review. It helps us to get the message out that we don't have to be burned out exhausted women to achieve dreams and goals.