Quit the Negative Self-Talk ASAP: The Science Behind How Your Words Create Your Reality

When a Friend Keeps Letting You Down: Should You Stay or Go? (What Is a Friend part 3)

Text Jule :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] Knowing how to tell a friend they hurt you is a skill most of us never learned. So instead of setting boundaries with friends, we drop hints, make excuses for them, and let the resentment pile up. In this episode, I’m talking about how to actually say the thing you’ve been avoiding, and how to figure out whether you’re dealing with a toxic friendship or one that’s totally fixable. I’m also sharing a personal story about a friend who went missing on me during one of the hardest periods of my life, and what happened when I finally told her how I felt. I think ending a friendship should be a conscious choice you make with your eyes open, not something that happens by default while you simmer and eventually explode over. In this episode: * The weird middle ground where a friend is just enough to keep around but also annoying * Why “but I’ve known them for 20 years” is not a reason to keep quiet * The two types of people who never actually say what’s bothering them, and how to know if you’re one of them * What happened when I told a friend she wasn’t there for me after my parents’ car accident * The line from Tulsa King I fully intend to use on someone someday * What to do when you’ve asked for change several times and nothing sticks * The trap of making someone else’s behavior mean something about your worth * How I’ve actually worded it when it was time to part ways with a friend This is part 3 of my What Is a Friend? series, so if you missed the first two episodes, here are the links: 1. What is a Friend? Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels So Hard [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/episodes/18744645] 2. Adult Friendships: Why that Friendship Feels One-Sided [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/episodes/18744645] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Adult Friendships: Why that Friendship Feels One-Sided (What Is a Friend part 2)

Text Jule :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] I get asked about adult friendships A LOT, like why it’s so hard to make friends, why some friends are so difficult, or why some friends keep disappointing us. Most of the advice out there talks about good communication, having the same values, and letting go of expectations, but I think this angst about friends centers around friendship compatibility. Compatibility in a friendship goes back to questions we never really sit down and answer, which is what is a friend to me, and are all my friends actually the right kind of friend. In my own case, for a long time I treated everybody the same, which is where most of my problems came from. So in this part 2 episode on friendship (listen to part one What Is a Friend [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/episodes/18744645]) I get into friendship tiers, aka levels of friendship, because once I had those, I stopped handing all of myself to people who didn't want that from me, and I felt a whole lot less used.  Topics covered in this episode: * The five year friendship where I finally clocked that I was doing all the reaching out  * Why lumping everyone into the same friendship level set me up to feel let down  * How friendships by circumstance doesn’t mean you’re compatible to be long-term friends  * The check-in with myself when I don't feel good after hanging out a friend * Letting go of a friend, ghosting vs downgrading  * The way I think about friends who come and go now, and why I’m at peace This is the second episode in my “What is a Friend” series.  Here’s part one: What is a Friend? Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels So Hard [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/episodes/18744645] and part three: When a Friend Keeps Letting You Down: Should You Stay or Go? [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/episodes/19523733] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

The Rainbows in Grief: What I'm Feeling One Year After Losing My Brother

Text Jule :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] This episode is about grief showing up in your body, why your feelings can hit long before your mind understands why, and how a grief anniversary can knock you flat a year later when you think you’re finally okay. In this episode: * Why you feel sad or low for no reason and can’t figure out why  * What a grief anniversary reaction actually feels like from the inside  * How your body keeps score of a date your mind has moved past  * What grief can look like a year after losing someone you love  * The fear that almost stopped me from talking about any of this  * My favorite memories of my brother and who he was If you’ve ever felt completely off and had no idea why, this one’s for you. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Quit the Negative Self-Talk ASAP: The Science Behind How Your Words Create Your Reality

Text Jule :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] Despite all the negative self-talk running in my head, for years I figured the whole “watch your words” thing was a load of bullsh*t.    Then about three years ago I came across research showing that emotions have a recipe, and it was a total light bulb moment for me.    So in this episode I’m breaking down the actual science of how the words you use shape what you feel, and how learning to control your emotions starts with paying attention to how you describe what’s happening to you. I’ll keep the mechanics simple, I promise.    In this episode: * The saying I dismissed as a kid and why I finally bought into it three years ago  * The story of my photo getting stolen and how one sentence flipped me from mildly annoyed to full-blown rage  * Dr. Kristen Lindquist’s research showing that emotions have a recipe  * My potter’s wheel analogy  * Why it’s so important to use the right labels for what you’re thinking and feeling * The negative phrases I used to say to myself constantly and how I broke the habit  * A simple exercise for picking one phrase to swap out, and the friends-and-family trick for figuring out which one   If you tend to spiral when something hard happens and you can’t seem to talk yourself back out of it, this one’s for you. Related episode on how to change your thoughts: I was Toxic. Here's What Changed My Negative Mindset [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/episodes/18623016] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

The First Step to Confidence (Real Work My Coaching Clients Do)

Text Jule :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] How to build real confidence is one of the most common goals people come to me for, and the truth is that it starts with self-trust, not with the affirmation cards and power poses you find on Google. The real work is excavating your past to find a belief you keep carrying that isn’t true. I share the story of how my dad spent my childhood telling me my voice was annoying, and how that one belief got so loud in my head that I ignored dozens of podcast invitations for years because I was too ashamed to be heard. I walk you through the day when it finally shifted for me, and the small first action that took me from never appearing on podcasts to guesting on over 50 shows. Topics covered in this episode: * Why affirmations, power poses, and feel-good quotes are not the actual work of building confidence * How growing up emotionally repressed shaped the way I handled, or really didn’t handle, my own mental health * Why we believe the things our parents tell us about ourselves, even when those things aren’t true * The real first step to confidence, and it’s not what most of the personal development space sells you * How shame thrives in the dark and why saying it out loud is one of the best ways to dispel it * The exact message I’d send to make amends for something I avoided for years * How to pick a first action that’s big or small enough for wherever you actually are right now * Why taking that one step becomes the proof you need to take the next one If your self-esteem has been spiraling and you just want one place to start, this one’s for you. If you liked this episode, also check out episode 2: How to Build Confidence that Actually Lasts [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/episodes/18107869] from Oct 30, 2025. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.