S2: Episode 61: We Thought Playing by the Rules Was Supposed to be Easy (and Fair)

S2: Episode 65: We Thought Helping the Children in our Life to Be New at Something Was Supposed to Be Easy

Trying something new sounds exciting… until you're actually the beginner. In this episode, Amy and Cheryl sit down with friend and guest Erin Smith-Gaken to explore what happens when we step outside of our comfort zones. The conversation begins with children and activities sports, dance, hobbies, and the growing pressure to specialize at younger and younger ages but quickly expands into a larger discussion about comparison, confidence, grit, and what it means to be a beginner at any stage of life. Together, they explore how parents, coaches, and communities can either encourage or discourage growth, why being "new" has become so uncomfortable, and how many of us carry those same fears into adulthood when considering career changes, new hobbies, or unexpected opportunities. Whether you're helping a child discover their interests or wondering if it's too late to try something yourself, this conversation is a reminder that growth rarely begins with expertise, it begins with curiosity.   About Our Guest Erin Smith-Gaken is a learning and development professional, parent, and lifelong learner who recently made the transition from higher education into corporate learning and HR. As the mother of two children, Erin brings both personal and professional perspectives to conversations about growth, confidence, and trying new things. Her passion for helping people step outside of their comfort zones shines throughout this thoughtful discussion.   Key Topics and Takeaways * Why children are often expected to specialize in activities at increasingly younger ages. * The difference between exploring interests and feeling pressured to choose a lifelong path. * How comparison can discourage both children and adults from trying something new. * The importance of creating environments where beginners feel welcome. * Why grit develops through struggle, practice, and persistence. * The role parents play in supporting children through success, failure, and uncertainty. * How social media can distort our understanding of learning and mastery. * The challenge of career transitions and recognizing transferable skills. * Imposter syndrome and the belief that there is only one "right" path into a profession. * Why curiosity is often the first step toward personal growth. * The importance of allowing ourselves to be beginners again. * How supportive relationships help us take risks and build confidence.   Memorable Lines "The skill of learning to be new and step outside and take risks is so important all throughout your life." — Amy Bond "Almost feeling like you've missed the boat before you're eight." — Cheryl Priest "We're no longer coaching to teach and learn something new. We're coaching for enhancement." — Erin Smith-Gaken "I think we get stuck in the idea that there's only one route from point A to point B." — Erin Smith-Gaken "I'd like the box to be gone." — Cheryl Priest "Sometimes it's our own selves that are getting in the way of trying something new." — Erin Smith-Gaken "Growth rarely starts with confidence. It starts with curiosity." — Inspired by the conversation   Challenge for the Week Think about something you've always been interested in trying but never pursued because you felt too old, too inexperienced, or too far behind. Now ask yourself: * What would happen if I allowed myself to be a beginner? * What am I afraid might happen? * What could I gain if I tried anyway? Then take one small step. Sign up for a class. Watch a tutorial. Attend a meeting. Ask a question. You don't have to become an expert this week. Just give yourself permission to begin.   Additional Resources * Carol Dweck's work on Growth Mindset * Brené Brown's research on vulnerability and courage * Angela Duckworth's work on Grit * TED Talk: The Power of Believing You Can Improve by Carol Dweck * TED Talk: Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

S2: Episdde 64: We Thought the Next Chapter (College) Was Supposed to Be Easy

This week, Amy and Cheryl sit down with residence hall director and higher education professional Jessa Heroux-Croy for an honest conversation about the transition to college - not just for students - but for the families and supporters who love them. From roommate dynamics and campus culture to homesickness, connection, and learning how to support young adults without rescuing them, this episode offers practical advice and emotional reassurance for anyone navigating the college transition season. Whether you’re preparing to send a student off for the first time, welcoming one back home for the summer, or remembering your own experience of figuring out who you were in those years, this conversation is full of warmth, wisdom, and perspective. Guest Introduction Jessa Heroux-Croy is a residence hall director working in higher education and student affairs. She lives and works on campus alongside university students and supports them through everything from move-in and roommate conflicts to leadership development, connection, and personal growth. Passionate about student belonging and communication, Jessa brings both professional expertise and personal experience to conversations about what it really means to transition into college life.   Key Topics & Takeaways * Why campus “fit” matters more than prestige alone * Questions families should ask during college visits * The hidden emotional transition of coming home after freshman year * How roommate conflicts are often really communication conflicts * Why students need the act of connection to be intentional, not passive * What residence hall staff actually do to support students * Ways parents can shift from “fixer” to “coach” * The evolving culture of dorm life after COVID and technology changes * Creative ways families can stay connected beyond care packages * What students really need before moving into the dorms * Common dorm shopping mistakes and overlooked essentials * Why getting involved on campus early on matters so much Memorable Lines “You can’t wait for connection to come to you. You have to meet it halfway.” Jessa Heroux-Croy “Who do you need me to be for you right now?” Amy Bond “Sometimes students are communicating, you’re just not understanding the way they’re trying.”-Jessa Heroux-Croy “College is 100% what you make it. What you’re open to is what you get out of it.” - Jessa Heroux-Croy “You’re always the parent, but you start transitioning more into the coach.” - Amy Bond “What does communication mean to you?” - Jessa Heroux-Croy “Say yes to everything and figure out what works for you.” - Jessa Heroux-Croy Challenge for the Week If you know a child, student, or young adult preparing for a transition this year, ask them one intentional question this week: * What are you most excited about? * What are you nervous about? * What kind of support feels most helpful to you right now? And if you’re the one entering a new season yourself, consider: What would it look like to stay open instead of trying to have everything figured out already?   Additional Resources * Explore your future college’s housing and residence life webpages before move-in * Look for orientation events, involvement fairs, and student organization showcases * Review residence hall prohibited items lists before shopping * Encourage students to fill out roommate compatibility forms honestly

S2: Episode 63: We Thought Talking About Mental Health Was Supposed to Be Easy

In this episode of This Was Supposed to Be Easy, Amy & Cheryl sit down with Dr. Allison Arnekrans, counselor educator, clinician, and private practice owner, for an honest conversation about therapy, emotional wellness, relationships, and what it really means to care for ourselves in a world that often expects us to “just keep going.” Together, they explore the realities of counseling, the misconceptions people often have about therapy, and why emotional health deserves the same level of attention as physical health. The conversation also touches on high-achieving women, communication, burnout, vulnerability, and the importance of feeling truly heard. This episode is thoughtful, validating, and deeply human, whether you’ve been in therapy for years, are considering it for the first time, or simply want to better understand yourself and the people around you.   Guest Introduction About Dr. Allison Arnekrans Dr. Allison Arnekrans is a professor of Counselor Education at Central Michigan University and a practicing clinician specializing in women’s issues, high-achieving professionals, couples communication, and emotional wellness. With experience in both higher education and private practice, she brings a grounded and compassionate perspective to conversations around therapy, relationships, and mental health. Dr. Arnekrans is passionate about helping people feel seen, understood, and empowered in their personal growth journeys.   Key Topics & Takeaways * Why therapy is often misunderstood * The difference between “listening to respond” vs. “listening to understand” * How high-achieving individuals can struggle silently * The emotional load many women carry behind the scenes * Why vulnerability can feel uncomfortable but necessary * Communication patterns in relationships * The value of emotional self-awareness * How counselors balance empathy with professional boundaries * Why growth often begins with honest conversations * The importance of normalizing mental health support   Challenge for the Week This week, try creating space for one deeper conversation. Instead of rushing to fix, advise, or respond, practice simply listening. Ask someone: * “How are you really doing?” * “What’s been weighing on you lately?” * “What do you wish people understood better about your experience?” And if you’ve been considering therapy or additional support for yourself, let this be your reminder that asking for help is not weakness, it’s self-awareness.

S2: Episode 62: We Thought Slowing Down with Nature Was Supposed to Be Easy

What if something as simple as stepping outside… isn’t actually simple anymore? In this reflective and eye-opening conversation, Amy and Cheryl sit down with Dr. Joellen Lewsader to explore what it really means to slow down, reconnect, and be present in nature. What starts as a conversation about a sabbatical becomes a deeper realization that many of us have lost touch with something essential. Through her experience studying sylvotherapy (forest bathing), engaging with nature-based research, and intentionally shifting her life’s focus, Dr. Lewsader shares how reconnecting with nature is not just a peaceful idea… it’s a practice. And maybe the biggest surprise? Slowing down, being present, and disconnecting from technology, things that seem like they should be easy, actually take intention, time, and relearning. This episode is a gentle invitation to pause, breathe, and reconsider how we move through the world.   🎤 Guest Spotlight: Dr. Joellen Lewsader Dr. Joellen Lewsader is a professor of early childhood development and learning in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies. With a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies, her work bridges research, teaching, and real-life applications, particularly in the early childhood space. During a recent sabbatical, Dr. Lewsader shifted her research and personal focus toward nature-based learning and well-being. She explored sylvotherapy (forest bathing), engaged in interdisciplinary learning through Native American studies, and conducted research on children’s connectedness to nature and biophilia. Her work highlights the powerful role nature plays across the lifespan, from supporting children’s development to helping adults reconnect with presence, purpose, and well-being. Through both her research and personal journey, she brings a thoughtful and deeply human perspective to what it means to live more intentionally. 💡 Key Topics & Takeaways * The moment when perspective shifts from “how long I’ve lived” to “how much time I have left” * Why reconnecting with nature often requires intentional unlearning * What forest bathing (sylvotherapy) actually is, and what it is not * The surprising difficulty of being present without technology * How nature impacts our nervous system, stress levels, and overall well-being * The idea that humans and nature are deeply interconnected (and what that really means) * Why re-entry after rest (like a sabbatical or vacation) can feel harder than expected * The importance of daily, intentional practices, not just one-time experiences * How children naturally connect to nature, and what adults can learn from that * The concept of biophilia (our innate or learned love of nature) * Why slowing down is not inefficient, it’s necessary Memorable Lines * “How much time do I have left here, and what do I want to focus on?” - Dr. Joellen Lewsader * “I’m finally getting glimpses of what I want it to feel like.” -  Dr. Joellen Lewsader * “Leave your phone inside.” - Dr. Joellen Lewsader Try This: Challenge for the Week Step outside… without your phone. Start small: * 5 minutes * No destination * No task Just notice: * What do you hear? * What do you see that you normally miss? * What happens when you don’t rush? Bonus: If you’re with a child, let them lead. Follow their pace. Notice what they notice.   Additional Resources * Explore the concept of forest bathing (sylvotherapy) * Look into biophilia and children’s connection to nature * Try simple practices like mindful walking, sitting in nature, or observing without distraction * Visit local parks, trails, or even your own backyard with fresh intention

S2: Episode 61: We Thought Playing by the Rules Was Supposed to be Easy (and Fair)

What if one of the biggest things we were taught about life… wasn’t entirely true? In this deeply honest and eye-opening conversation, Amy and Cheryl sit down with Dr. Sherene McHenry to unpack a belief many of us were raised with: If you’re kind, if you follow the rules, if you treat people well… everything should work out. But what happens when it doesn’t? Dr. McHenry shares her personal and professional journey of realizing that while kindness matters, it’s not enough on its own. Relationships aren’t always easy, and without boundaries, conflict skills, and emotional awareness, even the nicest people can find themselves hurt, overwhelmed, or taken advantage of. This episode explores the hard truth: not everyone plays by the same rules. And learning how to navigate that reality might be one of the most important life skills we develop. Guest Spotlight: Dr. Sherene McHenry Dr. Sherene McHenry is a full-time author, speaker, and relationship expert with a doctorate in counseling. With decades of experience as both a counselor educator and practitioner, she brings a deeply grounded, real-world perspective to the complexities of human relationships. She is the author of multiple books, including Pick: Choose to Create a Life You Love and Navigate: Understanding the Five Types of People, where she helps individuals better understand themselves, others, and the patterns that shape their interactions. Dr. McHenry’s work focuses on equipping people with the skills many of us were never formally taught—how to set boundaries, navigate conflict, and build healthy, sustainable relationships both personally and professionally. Her approach blends practical tools, lived experience, and emotional honesty, making her insights both relatable and transformative.    Key Topics & Takeaways * The belief many of us were raised with: “If you’re nice, others will be nice back” * The difference between problem solving vs. problem managing * How “taking the bait” keeps us stuck in unhealthy dynamics * The two common defensive reactions to feedback: * Blowing up (intimidation) * Breaking down (emotional overwhelm) * Why boundaries are not punishment, they’re protection * How emotional manipulation can show up in subtle ways * Why “canceling” people too quickly can do more harm than good * The importance of giving people the opportunity to grow * How to recognize when a relationship is no longer safe or healthy * The role of therapy, journaling, and self-awareness in healing * The truth: healthy relationships require courage, not just kindness  Memorable Lines * “I thought everything was going to be fair and easy… and then life hit me.” * “Nice people without boundaries are the least equipped for difficult people.” * “Why do you always take the bait?” * “When people tell you who they are, believe them.” * “You don’t solve every problem; you learn to manage some of them.” * “This relationship works as long as you have no needs, no feelings, and no wants.” * “The only thing worse than being brave… is staying stuck.” * “If it bothers you for more than an hour, it’s worth addressing.” * “You earn your way into my life, and I get to choose how close you come.”    Try This: Challenge for the Week Think about a relationship or situation in your life that feels… hard. Then reflect: * Have you been trying to solve something that actually needs to be managed? * Is there a boundary you haven’t clearly communicated yet? * What truth about your feelings have you been avoiding? Then take one small step: * Write the letter (even if you don’t send it) * Practice the boundary out loud * Or simply name the feeling you’ve been pushing aside    Additional Resources * Pick: Choose to Create a Life You Love by Dr. Sherene McHenry * Navigate: Understanding the Five Types of People by Dr. Sherene McHenry * Try journaling or writing a “freedom letter” to process unresolved emotions * Consider working with a licensed therapist for support with boundaries and conflict Connect with us * Website: https://supposedtobeeasy.com/ [https://supposedtobeeasy.com/]  * Our Podcast Home: https://supposedtobeeasy.podbean.com/ [https://supposedtobeeasy.podbean.com/] * Subscribe: Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-was-supposed-to-be-easy-podcast/id1805249282] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/6PRI5RoYph7xR5jgs9c269] | Amazon Music/Audible [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/27d3b92b-b42d-453e-b2d1-807b0adac834] | iHeartRadio [https://iheart.com/podcast/271653791] * Social Media: Instagram @supposedtobeeasy [https://www.instagram.com/supposedtobeeasy/] / Facebook @Supposed to be Easy [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61571685029705] We want to hear from you! Follow and share your key takeaways, ideas, and inspiration!