Purity Is (Not) a Dirty Word

She Deserves Better (Shiela Wray Gregoire) -- EXPERT-TEAS

Season 2 Episode 27 of the Trauma-Informed Church Kid podcast In this Expert-Teas episode, I sit down for "tea" with Sheila Wray Gregoire to discuss evangelical purity culture, sex culture, and patriarchal culture. We take a look at harmful teachings of purity culture; we explore the healthy antidote to those teachings; we examine what "looking with lust" and "modesty" actually mean in the Bible. We also discuss practical teaching targets for parents who want to avoid how they were taught, and end with seeing what the signs are of a toxic church culture in these areas. Sheila Wray Gregoire is an author, podcaster, and researcher into evangelicalism and sex. The founder of BareMarriage.com, together with her team she has surveyed over 32,000 people for her books The Great Sex Rescue, She Deserves Better and her latest book, The Marriage You Want. Her goal is to change the evangelical conversation about sex to be healthy, evidence-based, and rooted in Christ. A graduate of Queen's University, she's married to her husband Keith, a pediatrician, who writes and speaks with her. In their 30 years of marriage they’ve lived through grad school, medical residency, the birth of three children, and the death of one. And through it all they’ve realized that clinging to each other, and to God, in the rough times is so much better than trying to go it alone. Together they have a passion for marriage. I hope you will join me on this journey to find resurrection on the other side of deconstruction! Please like, subscribe, and/or leave a comment! Leave a question on Speakpipe as well: https://www.speakpipe.com/churchkidpod [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbTZOTVZKa2FGV01VN1hvT0hxX2xBSEY0Q3pSQXxBQ3Jtc0tuTU5mZU9xcTZkNUFjRFBXeWZUUUozZzlVOFNmQUY0ajZlNEN0Y21COHhTdmJNNlNFLUFkdEJmVjZyRDFmaGpXTXFTaUlUdE9VSm93bE5OVktsa0I5QmJyVVBRSHVadFhKYlpiZlpWZTVSVUxGTDdXaw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.speakpipe.com%2Fchurchkidpod&v=zcKSO55YAfU] ----more---- SHOW NOTES/REFERENCES https://baremarriage.com/ [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbXRfMTRwWEd5RkJ6d3paR1dPR3RLVEVqeVQxd3xBQ3Jtc0trT0o5ZEx0TjlmRXJTbUN2cGY2d1dFMzJyaHEydDNWcG4xNmp1dng2VkJ6ZHdaVkZndFJEaEh0Rnl4TGpnWU9xMnRBcUpnYlFMODZaTy1LU3Z5bUlWMF81VTYtTk93WjBzR1BNOUktanZfNUdWUERqWQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fbaremarriage.com%2F&v=zcKSO55YAfU] SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW LINKS Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0LQnbcT... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbVBRS0NVNjVsdEhFcGZERFROYzgyYk1Ta1dDd3xBQ3Jtc0tuOXlUMmlvVjlpWUx2R3V2NzRSZFNfZXF4TWN2ZGt6cDZLeGk4RUgzMkktc2h6MVF2ZmF0eXc2Y2ZmNmhpaHFDd1JqZTVQOElQcFFiOGtjT25WMC11Ylc4UkV2RW1GV3hYcndMczdGYWZ1LUlBa1plOA&q=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Fshow%2F0LQnbcTTqZUGfMLliJCJim&v=zcKSO55YAfU] Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa0pxUkxJQVFRc3dGTWZxUjdrdGwwZ2tJc1Rjd3xBQ3Jtc0tsOTZueDlfXy16b2N5aERTcGRKamU5RVF5QV9TTEd6QVhnTUxuWUNsU1pCRjgydko1QzlXVnpMWHFFR0ZGSUlTR3hqWjVnYlN5N3h1Nm0yVk1BZ2FEb1JsY1lrZzVLRWtSeWJSY0tKcjN0cFJRTFpMbw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fpodcasts.apple.com%2Fus%2Fpodcast%2Ftrauma-informed-church-kid%2Fid1760390486&v=zcKSO55YAfU] Podbean: https://churchkidpod.podbean.com/ [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbWtnU2Q5WWZ1SDFZR0RVRUMwNWl4OENuWWhGUXxBQ3Jtc0trZFR1S193Um5tX2VHcDhVb1d1NVBXYzZBcGhUcWoyRE9PZlh6RWQzU2Z4Y0JIcTdJOF9PMDdlbkVvUHc4V2xfTnFDNXhsNk1Nb2FTUUhwc01JWUJrejBGamhtNC1mTERaWnQ4VVZNbDc3T1VjT2d4SQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fchurchkidpod.podbean.com%2F&v=zcKSO55YAfU] X/YouTube: @churchkidpod FB DISCUSSION GROUP https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1bjZGWKyD6/ [https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1bjZGWKyD6/]

Life > Death

Season 2 Episode 26 of the Trauma-Informed Church Kid podcast   The priests are the burden-bearers for the family of Abraham, taking on their shoulders the responsibility to clean up the mess that they have caused (and will cause) in God’s house. But how do they go about cleaning up this mess? And why is it such a bloody process? This week, we take a look at what “atonement” means, and the role that blood plays (and doesn’t play) in atonement. We will examine the English and Hebrew word(s), and will look at what they can tell us about cleansing, consecration, and reconciliation. We will ponder the “reset button” nature of the Day of Atonement, and will look at the distinct role of the two goats in that ritual – one of whom is also a “burden-bearer.” We will explore the meaning of blood within the ritual, and consider if blood is necessary to make atonement. In the end, we will challenge ourselves to fully absorb the knowledge that life stuff defeats death stuff, and what this tells us about the heart of Adonai. I hope you will join me on this journey to find resurrection on the other side of deconstruction! Please like, subscribe, and/or leave a comment! Leave a question on Speakpipe as well: https://www.speakpipe.com/churchkidpod [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbHZwZUlRNEhIV2hTcUI4d21RMGs0RzdxT1V4d3xBQ3Jtc0tsamRMZWxXd3dCZ25iSWZ2M2pUbmJIMFBkOGJwSmd5cms3ZWExQzlvLUg1NE1sM0dRdUxnRDNhaVlkbUU1ZHBnMjZxYlFKbGJzYzY0Nm5BMFMwdmVGTm14bk92ZDlLdFRzWXUzT1RJVDJ2bkFVNmwtSQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.speakpipe.com%2Fchurchkidpod&v=3SW0WjPycgk]  ----more---- SHOW NOTES/REFERENCES https://www.jtsa.edu/torah/sin-ritual-pollution-and-divine-alienation/ [https://www.jtsa.edu/torah/sin-ritual-pollution-and-divine-alienation/]  https://bibleproject.com/guides/book-of-leviticus/ [https://bibleproject.com/guides/book-of-leviticus/]  https://eitan.bar/articles/life-is-in-the-blood-leviticus-1711/ [https://eitan.bar/articles/life-is-in-the-blood-leviticus-1711/]  https://etsjets.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/files_JETS-PDFs_4_4-1_BETS_4-1_3_Harris.pdf [https://etsjets.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/files_JETS-PDFs_4_4-1_BETS_4-1_3_Harris.pdf]  https://tr-pdf.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/articles/meaning-of-kafar-to-make-atonement.pdf [https://tr-pdf.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/articles/meaning-of-kafar-to-make-atonement.pdf]  https://www.theoikonomist.com/?p=1626 [https://www.theoikonomist.com/?p=1626]  https://dukespace.lib.duke.edu/items/b4dbfb7f-2a3f-472f-9889-199b16bcb4a4 [https://dukespace.lib.duke.edu/items/b4dbfb7f-2a3f-472f-9889-199b16bcb4a4]  https://churchlifejournal.nd.edu/articles/the-sacrifice-of-praise-and-animal-sacrifice/ [https://churchlifejournal.nd.edu/articles/the-sacrifice-of-praise-and-animal-sacrifice/]  https://surface.syr.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1078&context=rel [https://surface.syr.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1078&context=rel]  https://zondervanacademic.com/blog/azazel-and-the-scapegoat [https://zondervanacademic.com/blog/azazel-and-the-scapegoat]  https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/1846869/jewish/The-Scapegoat-Atonement-and-Purification.htm [https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/1846869/jewish/The-Scapegoat-Atonement-and-Purification.htm] SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW LINKS Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0LQnbcTTqZUGfMLliJCJim?si=07515a488206497d [https://open.spotify.com/show/0LQnbcTTqZUGfMLliJCJim?si=07515a488206497d] Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-informed-church-kid/id1760390486 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-informed-church-kid/id1760390486] Podbean: https://churchkidpod.podbean.com/ [https://churchkidpod.podbean.com/] X/YouTube: @churchkidpod FB DISCUSSION GROUP https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1TjLVa8ur6/ [https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1TjLVa8ur6/]

The Burden of Forgiveness

Season 2 Episode 25 of the Trauma-Informed Church Kid podcast   Having decided to keep the Presence of Adonai in their midst, the family of Abraham must now deal with all their impurities. How can they do this safely? Who will be the one to bear both the blessing and the burden of this sacred role? This week, we take a look at what it means for the priests -- and Adonai himself -- to "bear iniquity". We will examine the Hebrew word for "iniquity" and examine its relationship to the "burden" of our brokenness and crookedness. We will ponder what it means to make that burden "lightened", and if that means that one person bears all the weight. We will explore the ways in which Adonai forgives others in the Scriptures, and discover what he requires (and doesn't require) in order to forgive. In the end, we will challenge ourselves to forgive as Adonai has forgiven us -- to bear one another's burdens. I hope you will join me on this journey to find resurrection on the other side of deconstruction! Please like, subscribe, and/or leave a comment! Leave a question on Speakpipe as well: https://www.speakpipe.com/churchkidpod [https://www.speakpipe.com/churchkidpod] ----more---- SHOW NOTES/REFERENCES Bad Words Word Study: Iniquity - Avon [https://bibleproject.com/videos/avon-iniquity/]   SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW LINKS SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW LINKS Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0LQnbcTTqZUGfMLliJCJim?si=07515a488206497d [https://open.spotify.com/show/0LQnbcTTqZUGfMLliJCJim?si=07515a488206497d] Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-informed-church-kid/id1760390486 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-informed-church-kid/id1760390486] Podbean: https://churchkidpod.podbean.com/ [https://churchkidpod.podbean.com/] X/YouTube: @churchkidpod FB DISCUSSION GROUP https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1TjLVa8ur6/ [https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1TjLVa8ur6/]

Purity Culture: Then and Now

Season 2 Episode 24 of the Trauma-Informed Church Kid podcast CONTENT WARNING: discussion of sexuality and purity culture This is part 2 of an episode on purity and impurity. We know now that purity is (not) a dirty word, and that it is not necessarily about morality or being "good". Why then is there such a misunderstanding about purity and morality? What would a culture focused around purity look like? This week, we take a look at "purity culture" -- both ancient and modern. We will look at the case studies we find in Leviticus and examine whether this means that female bodies are gross/disgusting or somehow "wrong". We will ponder how the more precious a thing is, the more impurity it causes. We will explore the artifacts and effects of evangelical "purity culture", and repent of both its failures and its faults. In the end, we will challenge ourselves to consider changing our relationship to "purity", toward one that encompasses every area of our lives and not just our exposed skin I hope you will join me on this journey to find resurrection on the other side of deconstruction! Please like, subscribe, and/or leave a comment! Leave a question on Speakpipe as well: https://www.speakpipe.com/churchkidpod [https://www.speakpipe.com/churchkidpod] ----more---- SHOW NOTES/REFERENCES: https://www.restorativefaith.org/post/a-history-of-purity-culture [https://www.restorativefaith.org/post/a-history-of-purity-culture] https://baremarriage.com/2026/03/podcast-did-purity-culture-cause-developmental-trauma/ [https://baremarriage.com/2026/03/podcast-did-purity-culture-cause-developmental-trauma/] https://firstthings.com/a-new-purity-culture/ [https://firstthings.com/a-new-purity-culture/] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13558358.2024.2332976 [https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13558358.2024.2332976] https://www.puritycultureresearchcollective.com/ [https://www.puritycultureresearchcollective.com/] https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/purity-ball-photos_n_5255904 [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/purity-ball-photos_n_5255904] https://www.academia.edu/67682166/Are_You_a_Trashable_Styrofoam_Cup_Harm_and_Damage_Rhetoric_in_the_Contemporary_American_Sexual_Purity_Movement [https://www.academia.edu/67682166/Are_You_a_Trashable_Styrofoam_Cup_Harm_and_Damage_Rhetoric_in_the_Contemporary_American_Sexual_Purity_Movement] https://www.academia.edu/145667818/Book_Review_Rape_Culture_Purity_Culture_and_Coercive_Control_in_Teen_Girl_Bibles?rhid=38599354247&swp=rr-rw-wc-67682166&nav_from=9e341fba-e657-48f0-bd93-79aa2889a5e3 [https://www.academia.edu/145667818/Book_Review_Rape_Culture_Purity_Culture_and_Coercive_Control_in_Teen_Girl_Bibles?rhid=38599354247&swp=rr-rw-wc-67682166&nav_from=9e341fba-e657-48f0-bd93-79aa2889a5e3] https://academic.oup.com/jsm/article/22/Supplement_1/qdaf068.049/8119612 [https://academic.oup.com/jsm/article/22/Supplement_1/qdaf068.049/8119612] https://a.co/d/06zzH8hQ [https://a.co/d/06zzH8hQ] https://a.co/d/0h47SFGR [https://a.co/d/0h47SFGR] https://a.co/d/0ajExROy [https://a.co/d/0ajExROy]   SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW LINKS Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0LQnbcTTqZUGfMLliJCJim?si=07515a488206497d [https://open.spotify.com/show/0LQnbcTTqZUGfMLliJCJim?si=07515a488206497d] Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-informed-church-kid/id1760390486 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-informed-church-kid/id1760390486] Podbean: https://churchkidpod.podbean.com/ [https://churchkidpod.podbean.com/] X/YouTube: @churchkidpod FB DISCUSSION GROUP https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1TjLVa8ur6/ [https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1TjLVa8ur6/]

Purity Is (Not) a Dirty Word

Season 2 Episode 23 of the Trauma-Informed Church Kid podcast   Having chosen the harder path -- the divine Presence in their midst -- the family of Abraham must now navigate that holy path safely. What does it mean for them to be "pure" or "clean", and is that what God requires of all humans? Is being "pure" about being moral? This week, we unpack what purity (and impurity) means. We will look at the distinction between "pure" and "impure" and examine what either (or both) have to do with morality. We will explore what it means for created things to be "out of place", and what relation this has to the "forces of death". We will ponder the connection between purity and Eden, and if it is a bad thing to be "impure". We will examine the two kinds or "species" of impurity, and discover what it takes to remove both kinds from the person, the sacred space, and the land. In the end, we will challenge ourselves to repent by "turning away" from the life subject to death and decay, and to "comfort" ourselves with the hope of a life freed from that slavery. I hope you will join me on this journey to find resurrection on the other side of deconstruction! Please like, subscribe, and/or leave a comment! Leave a question on Speakpipe as well: https://www.speakpipe.com/churchkidpod [https://www.speakpipe.com/churchkidpod] ----more---- SHOW NOTES/REFERENCES https://cojs.org/cult_and_sacrifice-_purity_and_holiness_in_leviticus_and_numbers-_christine_hayes-_open_yale_courses_-transcription-_2006/ [https://cojs.org/cult_and_sacrifice-_purity_and_holiness_in_leviticus_and_numbers-_christine_hayes-_open_yale_courses_-transcription-_2006/] https://monoskop.org/images/7/7d/Douglas_Mary_Purity_and_Danger_An_Analysis_of_Concepts_of_Pollution_and_Taboo_2001.pdf [https://monoskop.org/images/7/7d/Douglas_Mary_Purity_and_Danger_An_Analysis_of_Concepts_of_Pollution_and_Taboo_2001.pdf] SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW LINKS Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0LQnbcTTqZUGfMLliJCJim?si=07515a488206497d [https://open.spotify.com/show/0LQnbcTTqZUGfMLliJCJim?si=07515a488206497d] Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-informed-church-kid/id1760390486 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-informed-church-kid/id1760390486] Podbean: https://churchkidpod.podbean.com/ [https://churchkidpod.podbean.com/] X/YouTube: @churchkidpod FB DISCUSSION GROUP https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1TjLVa8ur6/ [https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1TjLVa8ur6/]