Turns out... we didn’t need the mask (Ep. 28)

Turns out... we didn’t need the mask (Ep. 28)

This week, we’re talking about identity. Not today's version of identity. The old version we thought we had to be. For some of us, alcohol made us feel funnier. More confident. More interesting. More connected. For others, it helped us carry the weight of being the achiever, the fixer, or the guy who always had it together. The problem is that after enough years, it gets hard to tell where the alcohol ends and your identity begins. In this episode, we talk about the roles we played while drinking, the parts of ourselves we thought alcohol unlocked, and the surprising things we discovered after getting sober. Some of those old identities were completely false. Some were rooted in something real. And some are still being untangled today. Turns out, alcohol wasn’t who we were. 00:00 – Car wash personalities and what your vehicle says about you 03:56 – Why “The Mayor” might be the perfect nickname 06:22 – Who did you think you were when you were drinking? 09:06 – Jake’s lifelong drive to achieve and be noticed 14:22 – Brian’s search for deep conversations around the campfire 19:32 – The first signs the identity was starting to crack 24:13 – Seeing your old self in someone who’s still drinking 30:34 – How recovery changed our marriages 35:20 – Living impaired versus driving impaired 37:20 – Do we miss any part of our old lives? 42:47 – Can alcohol be part of a healthy person’s life? 46:55 – What are you no longer willing to lose? 48:23 – The parts of our identity that surprised us in recovery 52:25 – Who are you trying to become now? 59:30 – Looking ahead to the person you’ll be at 85 Need help? Find your local AA or Celebrate Recovery group. Or email us at ⁠turnsoutpodcast@gmail.com⁠.

Signed, Still Holding On (Ep. 27)

You held them first. Before any of this. You remember who they were. You still see it. You tried to help. Tried to fix it. Tried to hold it together. You stayed. Even when it hurt. You didn't cause this. But you've been carrying it. And somehow... you're still here. Signed, Still Holding On

Turns out… the people around you are superpowers (Ep. 26)

Some people get you to the room. Some make you stay. Some show you what honesty looks like. Some remind you that recovery only works when you stop trying to do it alone. In this episode, the guys talk about the people who changed the course of their lives. The ones who listened, challenged, called, welcomed, and showed up. They unpack what community actually does in recovery, why the right people matter so much, and how isolation loses its grip when you let others in. 00:00 – The guys joke about the Minnesota goodbye, Irish exits, and why leaving someone’s house can somehow take 45 minutes 02:54 – Brian opens the episode and frames the conversation around the relationships that surround us in recovery 03:46 – Introductions. The guys talk sobriety milestones and settle into a conversation about why the people around us matter so much 05:43 – Jake reflects on the people who changed the course of his life, including an employee who quietly showed up for him when he was struggling 06:42 – John shares how outpatient treatment first showed him he could not do this alone, even when the people around him did not look like him 08:59 – Brian remembers feeling out of place at Quest, standing in the corner, and the guy who first helped pull him in 10:58 – Jake talks about the men who first got him to a meeting and the sponsor who helped carry him forward 11:57 – God Guy explains why he shows up for others now and how gratitude has turned into responsibility 13:46 – The guys talk about old friends, current circles, and how relationships change once sobriety becomes real 16:30 – Jake explains why he is drawn to struggling people, how helping others fulfills him, and why recovery has become part of how he lives 19:49 – The group talks about what it takes to let someone in and what kind of sincerity earns access to the deeper parts of them 22:15 – John shares why being honest about recovery can still feel risky, especially in dating and new relationships 25:08 – The guys reflect on who they allow close now, how their circles have narrowed, and what kind of people they want around them 27:17 – Jake runs through the people who shaped him and explains how each one gave him something he still carries 31:07 – God Guy talks about his brother-in-law and how one steady relationship changed as sobriety deepened 32:51 – Brian asks whether different people played different roles in recovery and how each kind of support mattered 35:06 – The group reflects on how walls came down, facades fell off, and real friendship became possible 39:57 – They wrestle with why some people still struggle to accept help, even when the tools are right in front of them 43:55 – God Guy shares how a therapist once told him he did not have a problem, and how dangerous that kind of false reassurance can be 46:44 – Brian asks whether the right people fix you, and the guys unpack the difference between being saved by community and choosing recovery for yourself 50:25 – The conversation lands on the power of anti-isolation, the courage it takes to let people in, and why the people around you really are superpowers 54:35 – Final encouragement for anyone listening who feels stuck, alone, or afraid to ask for help Need help? Find your local AA or Celebrate Recovery group. Or email us at ⁠turnsoutpodcast@gmail.com⁠.

Turns out… this only works if you actually use it (Ep. 25)

What starts light quickly turns into something deeper. The guys talk about what it actually looks like to use the tools of recovery when life doesn’t go your way. From job loss to anxiety to everyday frustration, this episode lives in the tension between knowing what to do and actually doing it. There’s a big difference between hearing it, believing it, and living it. This one is about the in-between. The uncomfortable space where nothing is resolved yet. Where surrender feels impossible. Where you either reach for the old way… or finally try something different. 00:00 - Brian shows up to his 3-year medallion... wearing an inappropriate shirt 02:15 - The show opens and the crew is back together after time apart 03:40 - Reflecting on Grand Marais and the moment that cracked everything open 04:38 - God Guy revisits the raw emotion of sharing his story 06:36 - Alone in the cabin, a fleeting but terrifying thought 08:35 - The importance of saying it out loud and not holding it in 10:34 - Turning painful moments into tools for the future 11:32 - The episode theme: this only works if you actually use it 12:51 - Jon on self-awareness and seeing the wake you leave behind 15:35 - Becoming who you were actually created to be 16:04 - Jake's anxiety and the reminder that fear still shows up 18:48 - Fear of falling vs fear of death and what that reveals 21:11 - Sitting with someone in early recovery and just listening 23:31 - Where we still try to control instead of surrender 27:50 - Letting go of control in work, money, and daily life 29:48 - Brian shares losing his job and the real struggle to use the tools 31:13 - Panic, grief, and the uncertainty of the in-between 33:24 - Knowing it will work out... but not feeling it yet 34:51 - Before vs after: how we would have handled it drinking 36:18 - Trying to surrender and realizing it's not that simple 36:48 - Jon stuck in the airport and not needing a drink to cope 39:38 - Adapting when life doesn't go your way 40:38 - Hardship as the pathway to peace 41:33 - The gap between knowing and actually doing 43:41 - Trust, control, and what surrender actually means 46:20 - Driving the car vs giving up control entirely 49:48 - Final reflection: this isn't simple, but it works if you use it Need help? Find your local AA or Celebrate Recovery group. Or email us at turnsoutpodcast@gmail.com

Signed, Recovery (Ep. 24)

You didn't know my name yet. But I knew you were trying. I saw every small step. I stayed when it got hard. I didn't ask for perfection. I asked you to keep coming back. Signed, Recovery