Ep29: Spiritual Youth: Why Churches Rush You There... and Then Keep You There

Ep29: Spiritual Youth: Why Churches Rush You There... and Then Keep You There

What if the real battle isn’t the one you’ve been fighting? And what if your biggest spiritual problem isn’t the devil at all? In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Martin Trench continue their Secrets of Spiritual Growth series by exploring the spiritual youth stage — the stage of growth characterized by strength, passion, conviction, spiritual warfare, wrestling with scripture, and learning to overcome personal challenges. Together, they unpack why many churches rush believers into this stage as quickly as possible — and then unintentionally build entire church cultures around it. As a result, many Christians spend years or decades focused on fighting external enemies, resisting temptation through willpower, and endlessly searching for deeper spiritual “meat” without ever discovering what comes next. Through scripture, stories, humor, and honest conversation, Michele and Martin explore the difference between “fighting the devil” vs finding inner healing, why becoming whole weakens temptation more effectively than willpower, and how spiritual maturity involves learning to recognize when the real battle is happening within. They also tackle the idea of “real meat vs fake meat” — how some doctrines are constructed from stitched-together verses rather than from healthy interpretation, and they examine why spiritual parents sometimes feel disconnected from church culture when it’s aimed primarily at spiritual youth. If you’ve ever wondered why church sometimes feels obsessed with battles, enemies, growing stronger in the Word, and overcoming the devil — this episode may shed some light on that! Purchase Martin’s book, Secrets of Spiritual Growth [https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Spiritual-Growth-are-next/dp/B087L4NG2Q/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0]. If you enjoyed this episode, FOLLOW the show and SHARE this episode with a friend! Don’t miss the full visual experience! Watch this episode [https://youtu.be/OyF_j3_vqMQ] or binge the entire series [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGNStEd5SBi4rjEVopP4n6r857OBy7p-z] on our awesome Unhinged YouTube channel [https://www.youtube.com/@GetUnhinged]. And remember to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE while you’re there! -- READY TO GO DEEPER? -- If this stirred something in you, don’t just listen — take the next step. Join Michele’s online community, New Creation Academy [https://www.skool.com/new-creation-academy-9160/about] Join Martin’s online community, The Gathering [https://www.skool.com/the-gathering-martin-trench-9443/about?ref=647300f5de9e4c5c8bb9da982bc424f9] -- SUPPORT THE PODCAST -- Love our free content and want to support the show? Grab some fabulous, custom-designed snarky Unhinged merch or send us a donation [https://unhingedpodcast-shop.fourthwall.com/] (thank you!) -- ABOUT OUR SHOW -- Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking, rediscover a freer and healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself… and laugh a little along the way. -- RESOURCES -- Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/0jGzVmCBm7Bw02z6rr9gRU] Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Apple Music [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/grace-remixed/1832782282] Martin’s books on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B07KTFJ7N1/allbooks] -- CONNECT WITH US! -- Michele’s Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/MichelesKusWords], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/michelekuswords], TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@michelekuswords], Linktree [https://linktr.ee/michelekus], & website [https://graceremixed.com/] Martin’s Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/Dr.MartinTrench], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dr_martin_trench], TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@drmartintrench], Linktree [https://linktr.ee/martintrench], & website [https://martintrench.com/]   CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction! 01:31 The Spiritual Youth Stage Explained 03:53 Are Demons Really Your Biggest Problem? 05:54 Why Spiritual Parents Often Drop Out of Church 07:20 Temptation: Fighting It or Healing It? 08:45 Wrestling with Scripture: Learning & Healing 14:14 Real Meat vs Fake Meat Doctrines 16:34 Why Most Pastors Are Still in the Spiritual Youth Stage 18:00 Final Thoughts on the Spiritual Youth Stage

Ep28: Spiritual Childhood: Did the Church Push You to Grow Up Too Quickly?

Why do so many Christians feel pressured to become “spiritually mature” before they’ve even learned to rest in God’s love? In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Martin Trench unpack why many churches unintentionally rush believers past the foundational childhood stage of spiritual growth — creating pressure, confusion, fear, and performance-based Christianity in the process. Together, they unpack how churches often rush new believers past the “milk” stage of spiritual development and into pressure-filled teachings about spiritual warfare, end times, tithing, performance, and more — trying to get them “caught up” spiritually. Through scripture, stories, humor, and honest conversation, Michele and Martin explore why healthy spiritual growth cannot be forced — and why skipping the foundational childhood stage of trust and love can create confusion, fear, exhaustion, spiritual striving, and unhealthy views of God that affect believers over the long haul. Real spiritual growth is not about becoming hyper-spiritual as quickly as possible… but about allowing our connection with God to gradually transform us over time. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by church expectations, pressured to spiritually “grow up” too quickly, or like you skipped over the foundational stage of simply learning to trust God’s love — this episode is for you. Purchase Martin’s book, Secrets of Spiritual Growth [https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Spiritual-Growth-are-next/dp/B087L4NG2Q/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0]. If you enjoyed this episode, FOLLOW the show and SHARE this episode with a friend! Don’t miss the full visual experience! Watch this episode [https://youtu.be/DJA1sKeqdYY] on our awesome Unhinged YouTube channel [https://www.youtube.com/@GetUnhinged]. And remember to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE while you’re there! -- READY TO GO DEEPER? -- If this stirred something in you, don’t just listen — take the next step. Join Michele’s online community, New Creation Academy [https://www.skool.com/new-creation-academy-9160/about] Join Martin’s online community, The Gathering [https://www.skool.com/the-gathering-martin-trench-9443/about?ref=647300f5de9e4c5c8bb9da982bc424f9] -- SUPPORT THE PODCAST -- Love our free content and want to support the show? Grab some fabulous, custom-designed snarky Unhinged merch or send us a donation [https://unhingedpodcast-shop.fourthwall.com/] (thank you!) -- ABOUT OUR SHOW -- Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking, rediscover a freer and healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself… and laugh a little along the way. -- RESOURCES -- Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/0jGzVmCBm7Bw02z6rr9gRU] Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Apple Music [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/grace-remixed/1832782282] Martin’s books on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B07KTFJ7N1/allbooks] -- CONNECT WITH US! -- Michele’s Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/MichelesKusWords], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/michelekuswords], TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@michelekuswords], Linktree [https://linktr.ee/michelekus], & website [https://graceremixed.com/] Martin’s Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/Dr.MartinTrench], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dr_martin_trench], TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@drmartintrench], Linktree [https://linktr.ee/martintrench], & website [https://martintrench.com/]   CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction! 02:46 1 John 2 and the “Milk, Meat & Bread” Stages of Spiritual Growth 08:40 The Three Stages in 1 John 2: Childhood, Youth, Parenthood 10:16 The Problem With Skipping the “Milk” of Spiritual Childhood 12:55 What Spiritual Children Need Most 16:31 Why New Christians Feel Pressured to “Catch Up” 21:26 Don’t Rush Through Spiritual Childhood 24:13 Final Thoughts on Healthy Spiritual Growth

Ep27: Did Church Make You Tired Instead of Transformed?

Why do so many Christians feel spiritually exhausted — even when they’re trying their hardest to grow? In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Dr. Martin Trench unpack what Martin calls “the bait-and-switch” of modern Christianity — the subtle shift from grace, simple connection with God, and organic spiritual growth into pressure, performance, striving, and burnout. Many Christians begin their faith journey hearing about forgiveness and transformation through Jesus… only to slowly feel trapped in a cycle of trying harder, fixing themselves, performing, and wondering if they’re ever truly enough. Through scripture, stories, and honest conversation, Michele and Martin explore the difference between transformation that happens organically through connection with God versus behavior modification driven by fear, pressure, and religious performance. Real spiritual growth is about letting our connection with God gradually transform us into the people we were always intended to be. If you’ve ever felt burned out by religion, exhausted by spiritual pressure, or quietly wondered why faith stopped feeling life-giving — this episode is for you. If you want the full visual experience, watch this episode [https://youtu.be/TvzFcmTWv5A] on our Unhinged YouTube channel [https://www.youtube.com/@GetUnhinged]. (And remember to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE while you’re there!) -- WHAT YOU’LL LEARN -- If you’ve ever… * felt exhausted from constantly trying harder spiritually * wondered why Christianity sometimes feels more stressful than peaceful * struggled with pressure, performance, or fear-based spirituality * felt like grace somehow turned into striving * questioned whether transformation is supposed to feel this exhausting … then this will help you: * understand the “bait-and-switch” many people experience in modern Christianity * recognize the difference between grace-based growth vs. performance spirituality * rethink spiritual transformation through the lens of connection instead of pressure * explore scripture passages about how God works within us * embrace a healthier, more peaceful journey of spiritual growth -- Purchase Martin’s book, Secrets of Spiritual Growth [https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Spiritual-Growth-are-next/dp/B087L4NG2Q/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0]. -- READY TO GO DEEPER? -- If this stirred something in you, don’t just watch — take the next step. Join Michele’s online community, New Creation Academy [https://www.skool.com/new-creation-academy-9160/about] Join Martin’s 30-Day Spiritual Growth Challenge inside his online community, The Gathering [https://www.skool.com/the-gathering-martin-trench-9443/about?ref=647300f5de9e4c5c8bb9da982bc424f9] -- SUPPORT THE SHOW -- Love our free content and want to keep it ad-free? Grab some snarky Unhinged merch or send us a donation [https://unhingedpodcast-shop.fourthwall.com/] (thank you!) -- ABOUT OUR SHOW -- Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking and rediscover a freer, healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself. -- RESOURCES -- Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/0jGzVmCBm7Bw02z6rr9gRU] Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Apple Music [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/grace-remixed/1832782282] Martin’s books on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B07KTFJ7N1/allbooks] -- CONNECT WITH US! -- Michele’s Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/MichelesKusWords], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/michelekuswords], TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@michelekuswords], Linktree [https://linktr.ee/michelekus], & website [https://graceremixed.com/] Martin’s Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/Dr.MartinTrench], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dr_martin_trench], TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@drmartintrench], Linktree [https://linktr.ee/martintrench], & website [https://martintrench.com/]   CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction! 01:19 The Christian “Bait & Switch” Explained 07:44 Why So Many Christians Feel Spiritually Exhausted 11:07 The Shift From Grace to “Discipline” & Striving 14:33 The Living Things of the Kingdom of God Grow Naturally 17:42 Separation Only Exists in Our Minds 19:05 The Christian Life Is a Partnership, Not a Performance 23:13 Becoming Who You Were Always Intended to Be

Ep26: Did the Church Teach You to Distrust Yourself?

You’ve been taught to not trust yourself… and what if that’s the very thing keeping you stuck? In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction we explore the subtle ways church culture can train people to distrust their own thoughts, feelings, instincts, and inner voice — and how that often gets mistaken for “spiritual maturity.” We talk about accountability culture, fear-based spirituality, nervous system exhaustion, and the difference between transformation through love versus control. Real spiritual growth is not about becoming less yourself… but becoming safe enough to finally be your authentic self. If you’ve ever felt stuck in self-doubt, constantly second-guessed yourself, or felt afraid to think differently, question things, or trust your own discernment — this episode is for you. -- WHAT YOU’LL LEARN -- If you’ve ever… * felt like your thoughts or feelings were “dangerous” * struggled to trust yourself or make decisions confidently * felt exhausted from constantly performing spirituality * feared “straying” or being wrong * hidden parts of yourself just to feel accepted … then this will help you: * understand how self-distrust gets reinforced in church culture * recognize the difference between transformation through love vs. control * rebuild self-trust and discernment * understand why acceptance often transforms us more deeply than correction * create space for your nervous system to finally exhale * embrace a healthier, more honest spirituality -- If you want the full visual experience, watch this episode [https://youtu.be/K4jgJHmo0P8] on our Unhinged YouTube channel [https://www.youtube.com/@GetUnhinged]. (And remember to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE while you’re there!) Stream “My Scars Are Beautiful [https://open.spotify.com/album/4HQJbgqIcdIxUxBzTi4aIy?si=ElvzV10SSmK4Kh02V60rsg]” on Spotify. Stream “My Scars Are Beautiful [https://music.apple.com/us/album/my-scars-are-beautiful-single/1895682250]” on Apple Music. Purchase Martin’s book, Secrets of Spiritual Growth [https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Spiritual-Growth-are-next/dp/B087L4NG2Q/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0]. Purchase “Disappointments, All of You” t-shirt [https://unhingedpodcast-shop.fourthwall.com/products/disappointments-t-shirt] (from the Unhinged merch shop). -- READY TO GO DEEPER? -- If this stirred something in you, don’t just watch — take the next step. Join Michele’s online community, New Creation Academy [https://www.skool.com/new-creation-academy-9160/about] Join Martin’s 30-Day Spiritual Growth Challenge inside his online community, The Gathering [https://www.skool.com/the-gathering-martin-trench-9443/about?ref=647300f5de9e4c5c8bb9da982bc424f9] -- SUPPORT THE SHOW -- Love our free content and want to keep it ad-free? Grab some snarky Unhinged merch or send us a donation [https://unhingedpodcast-shop.fourthwall.com/] (thank you!) -- ABOUT OUR SHOW -- Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking and rediscover a freer, healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself. -- RESOURCES -- Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/0jGzVmCBm7Bw02z6rr9gRU] Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Apple Music [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/grace-remixed/1832782282] Martin’s books on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B07KTFJ7N1/allbooks] -- CONNECT WITH US! -- Michele’s Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/MichelesKusWords], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/michelekuswords], TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@michelekuswords], Linktree [https://linktr.ee/michelekus], & website [https://graceremixed.com] Martin’s Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/Dr.MartinTrench], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dr_martin_trench], TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@drmartintrench], Linktree [https://linktr.ee/martintrench], & website [https://martintrench.com]   CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction! 02:24 Spiritual Growth or Spiritual Control? 04:04 Transformation by Being Accepted, Not by Being Corrected 05:48 Love God. Love People. Love Yourself. 08:12 Fear of “Straying” and His Reckless Love 09:21 “Your Heart Is Deceitful” and Other Lies We Internalized 10:59 The Restlessness When You Outgrow Old Beliefs 14:48 Final Thoughts & Final Unhinged Moments!

Ep25: Your Deepest Insecurity? God Sees It Differently

You’ve been taught to fix what’s wrong with you… but what if the parts you’ve been trying to hide are the very parts God calls beautiful? In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, we take a deeper look at identity, self-perception, and the subtle ways church culture can train us to dislike and distrust ourselves. We explore the powerful idea that what you’ve labeled as flaws or imperfections may not be flaws at all — and how learning to see yourself through God’s eyes can radically shift the way you see yourself. If you’ve ever struggled with self-criticism, shame, or the feeling that something about you is deeply flawed and needs fixing — this one’s for you. -- WHAT YOU’LL LEARN -- If you’ve ever… * felt like something about you was “too much” or “not enough” * been taught to distrust your own thoughts, feelings, intuition, or heart * struggled with self-criticism or feeling like you need to fix yourself … then this will help you: * reframe what you’ve been calling “flaws” * understand how shame-based thinking gets reinforced in church culture * begin to see yourself through a lens of grace instead of criticism * rebuild self-trust and embrace your authentic self -- Stream “My Scars Are Beautiful [https://open.spotify.com/album/4HQJbgqIcdIxUxBzTi4aIy?si=ElvzV10SSmK4Kh02V60rsg]” on Spotify. Stream “My Scars Are Beautiful [https://music.apple.com/us/album/my-scars-are-beautiful-single/1895682250]” on Apple Music. Purchase Martin’s book, Secrets of Spiritual Growth [https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Spiritual-Growth-are-next/dp/B087L4NG2Q/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0]. Purchase “Disappointments, All of You” t-shirt [https://unhingedpodcast-shop.fourthwall.com/products/disappointments-t-shirt] (featured in this video, from the Unhinged merch shop). -- READY TO GO DEEPER? -- If you want the full visual experience, watch this episode [https://youtu.be/-jc8zXUd1K0] on our Unhinged YouTube channel. (Or watch the entire Align With Your Design playlist here [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGNStEd5SBi52G3Poyy3evqjzso02e3ZB]. And remember to SUBSCRIBE while you’re there!) If this stirred something in you, don’t just watch — take the next step. Join Michele’s online community, New Creation Academy [https://www.skool.com/new-creation-academy-9160/about] Join Martin’s 30-Day Spiritual Growth Challenge inside his online community, The Gathering [https://www.skool.com/the-gathering-martin-trench-9443/about?ref=647300f5de9e4c5c8bb9da982bc424f9] -- SUPPORT THE SHOW -- Love our free content and want to keep it ad-free? Grab some snarky Unhinged merch or send us a donation [https://unhingedpodcast-shop.fourthwall.com/] (thank you!) -- ABOUT OUR SHOW -- Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking and rediscover a freer, healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself. -- RESOURCES -- Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/0jGzVmCBm7Bw02z6rr9gRU] Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Apple Music [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/grace-remixed/1832782282] Martin’s books on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B07KTFJ7N1/allbooks] -- CONNECT WITH US! -- Michele’s Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/MichelesKusWords], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/michelekuswords], TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@michelekuswords], Linktree [https://linktr.ee/michelekus], & website [https://graceremixed.com] Martin’s Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/Dr.MartinTrench], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dr_martin_trench], TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@drmartintrench], Linktree [https://linktr.ee/martintrench], & website [https://martintrench.com]   CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction! 03:05 How Do You Find the Right Environment? 05:13 Go Where You’re Celebrated, Not Where You’re Tolerated 07:21 What You Call Ugly, God Calls Beautiful 12:54 Guided Meditation: You Are His Treasure 18:07 “My Scars Are Beautiful” song by Michele