S1E32 Unraveling Melody

S1E32 Unraveling Melody

S1 E32 Melody: Melody took a DNA test for one reason: to search for the younger brother she had not seen since childhood who’d been relinquished to adoption. Instead, her results revealed a truth she never expected. Raised African American, Melody opened her DNA results and found close white relatives, no close matches on her mother’s side, and an ethnicity estimate that made no sense with the family story she had always known. What began as a search for her brother became a search for herself. SHOW NOTES In this thoughtful and layered conversation, Kara and Melody discuss: * Losing her birth certificate father as a child and being raised by a beloved great-aunt * Discovering close white DNA matches and realizing her father was not her genetic father * Building mirror trees and doing months of genetic genealogy research * Finding her genetic father and connecting with several half-siblings * The complexity of being raised Black and learning her genetic father was white * Navigating race, belonging, politics, and acceptance within a new family * Seeking medical history and answers without wanting anything material * The ache of never fully knowing how her parents’ relationship began Melody’s story is about more than a DNA surprise. It is about race, identity, family stories, and the complicated work of integrating a truth that changes how you understand your past. Her journey reminds us that knowing where we come from matters not because DNA tells the whole story, but because missing pieces shape how we see ourselves, our families, and our place in the world. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E31 Unraveling Dr. Syb

S1E31 Unraveling Dr. Syb: Dr. Syb spent 42 years feeling like something didn’t fit. Then, at a family funeral, a cousin confirmed what her body, spirit, and intuition had long known: she had been adopted. Born during the Baby Scoop Era and raised in a same-race domestic adoption, Dr. Syb grew up in a loving family—but one built around a secret she was expected to carry quietly once the truth came out. For seven years, she did not search, trying to protect the mother who raised her. Eventually, she realized the truth belonged to her too. SHOW NOTES In this conversation, Kara and Dr. Syb discuss: * Learning she was adopted through a family comment * The emotional impact of being lied to for decades * Baby Scoop Era adoption and same-race adoption in the Black community * Amended birth certificates and the legal fiction adoptees are forced to use * Searching for and finding both genetic families * The grief of finding graves instead of living parents * Relationship, attachment, and abandonment wounds after adoption * The power of names, voice, and reclaiming authorship of your own story * How friends and family can support someone after a life-changing discovery This episode reminds us that secrets do not disappear when people take them to the grave. They leave others to sort through the pieces. And sometimes healing begins when we finally say: this is my story to tell. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E30 Unraveling Nick

S1 E 30 Unraveling Nick Nick was supposed to receive a DNA test for his birthday, but his parents asked that the gift be delayed. The next day, they sat him down and told him the results might reveal something unexpected. What followed led Nick to a truth he never imagined.  Through both his book Inconceivably Connected and the "Inconceivably Connected Podcast", Nick has transformed his own discovery into a platform for connection and truth-telling. This episode reminds us that even life-altering truths can also be invitations: to understand ourselves more fully, to connect more honestly, and to realize that identity is often far more expansive than we were first told. Kara and Nick explore identity, genetic mirroring, family, and what happens when the story you believed about yourself suddenly shifts beneath your feet.  SHOW NOTES In this episode, Kara and Nick discuss: * Learning he was donor-conceived the day after his 36th birthday  * How his parents’ honesty before the DNA test changed his discovery experience  * Discovering 14 half-siblings  * The surreal experience of seeing himself reflected in strangers  * Nature vs. nurture and the power of genetic mirroring  * Navigating new sibling relationships and redefining family  * Why his father who raised him remains the hero of his story  Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E29 Unraveling Monica H

S1 E 29 Unraveling Monica H Monica was adopted as an infant and raised in Alaska rough-and-tumble 1970s oil boom in a home where much was left unbroken. From early on, she learned to navigate instability, dysfunction, and sexual, emotional, and physical abuse – without the language or support to make sense of it. At 15 after experiencing a sexual assault, Monica became pregnant and was pressured to relinquish her daughter. That loss followed her everywhere, shaping how she understood herself, her relationships, and her place in the world. And then she did the work to understand what happened, reclaim her story, and begin choosing herself. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS DISCUSSION OF CHILD ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, AND SEXUAL ASSAULT.) SHOW NOTES In this conversation, Kara and Monica discuss: * Growing up adopted and navigating identity without clear roots * A home shaped by dysfunction, addiction, and silence * Discovering her Métis identity * The lasting impact of that loss across her life * The emotional complexity of reunion with her genetic family as well as with her daughter * Boundaries, self-worth, and learning to choose herself Monica shares her story with directness and honesty, naming both what she lived through and what it has taken to keep going. There are no easy resolutions—just the reality of carrying loss, making meaning of it, and continuing forward. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E28 Unraveling Maria

S1 E28 Unraveling Maria In this wide-ranging and deeply insightful conversation, Kara and Maria explore what happens when personal discovery intersects with law, ethics, culture, and belonging. Maria was 53 years old, standing in her kitchen, when a DNA test result upended everything she thought she knew about her identity. Raised in a deeply Catholic family, with a Filipino immigrant mother and an Irish American father, Maria’s life had always felt coherent, until a test revealed she was half Ashkenazi Jewish. SHOW NOTES Kara and Maria discuss: * Receiving unexpected DNA results and the immediate unraveling that followed * Confronting parental secrecy and navigating a mother unwilling to engage * The search for, and eventual relationship with, her genetic father * How late discovery reshapes identity, faith, and cultural belonging * The legal and ethical risks of consumer DNA testing, including privacy and insurance concerns * Misattributed parentage and the broader policy gaps affecting NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people * Sobriety, trauma, and the importance of support when facing life-altering truths * The tension between truth-telling and protecting family secrets Maria brings both personal vulnerability and professional insight as an attorney, offering a perspective that goes beyond individual story into systemic impact. Her experience led her to write Before and After the DNA Test, a comprehensive guide to the legal, medical, and ethical realities many people never consider before “spitting in a tube.” Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.