Unverified, Still True
Episode 3: Outside the Fishbowl How undiagnosed autism shaped my relationships For most of my life, I thought I was bad at relationships. I could get close to people, but I never felt like I truly belonged anywhere. I watched friendships form around me like I was standing outside a fishbowl looking in. I didn’t understand the rules, the cues, or why connection always seemed easier for everyone else. In this episode, I unpack how growing up autistic without knowing it shaped my relationships at every stage of life. From mirroring other kids just to fit in… to chasing connection through friendships and relationships that never quite felt right… to the identity collapse that came with coming out at 27 and losing most of my community. And finally, the moment at 33 when an autism diagnosis reframed my entire life. We talk about: * Growing up in a tiny town and suddenly entering complex social hierarchies * Missing social cues and learning friendship through observation * The fishbowl feeling of watching connections happen around you * Searching for belonging through identity shifts and relationships * Losing community after coming out and rebuilding a new one * Chronic autistic burnout and why connections felt exhausting * The relief of finally understanding your own brain For the first time, the patterns in my life made sense. Because the problem was never that I didn’t care about people. The problem was that I was trying to build relationships using rules that weren’t designed for how my brain works.
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