Stillness Is Scarier Than Chaos

Why Can't We Be Friends? Part One

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2471176/open_sms] Platonic friendship isn’t supposed to feel impossible — but for gay men, it often does. In this episode, I dig into the viral Threads post that pulled in over 250,000 views and thousands of comments from men saying the same thing: I want connection, but I don’t know how. We get into the real reasons why: validation chasing, hookup culture, shame, and the conditioning that makes every new interaction feel like it has to be about sex. I talk about what it means to crave friendship but not have the skills to build it, why “low-maintenance” friends aren’t the flex they think they are, and yes, why half my gay friends are hot — and that’s not a problem. This episode is about honesty. About saying the quiet parts out loud. About why so many of us are lonely even when we’re surrounded by people. And it’s about starting the conversation that no one else seems to be having: friendship isn’t hard, it’s unpracticed. 👉 New here? Follow Virgin Vodka Soda on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.  📱 TikTok, Instagram & Threads: @QueerRecovery

Stillness Is Scarier Than Chaos

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2471176/open_sms] You’re not too busy. You’re avoiding yourself. In this episode, I unpack the cycle of chasing, crashing, and craving clarity — but never letting yourself sit still long enough to get it. We talk about “someday” reality, healing as performance, and why high-functioning gay men (yes, you) keep filling their calendars instead of facing their truth. We cover: * Why silence feels unsafe to your nervous system * How healing became a brand (and a distraction) * What performative vulnerability actually looks like * Why you keep matching, texting, spiraling, and repeating * And what changes when you stop outrunning your life This isn’t about “doing the work.”  This is about being still long enough to let the work matter. 🎧 Listen to Virgin Vodka Soda on Apple + Spotify 💬 Like, follow, subscribe, and comment on TikTok, Instagram, and Threads 📱 @QueerRecovery — for when your healing finally gets honest.

I Don’t Want to Go to the Cheesecake Factory

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2471176/open_sms] Let’s talk about the moments you don’t speak up. Not because you can’t. But because you’ve convinced yourself that being “chill” or “healed” means staying silent. Even when you don’t want to go to Cheesecake Factory. This episode is for the high-functioning gay or queer man who knows their attachment style, knows their triggers, knows their trauma… and is still spiraling over a 30-minute text delay. You’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You’re stuck in performative healing — and no meme account is gonna fix it. In this episode, I break down: * Why insight without action keeps you stuck * How “the work” became a performance (and a trap) * Why knowing your patterns isn’t the same as interrupting them * What emotional integration actually looks like in real life (hint: it’s awkward, human, and unfiltered) * How to stop spiraling and start living with your whole damn self If you’ve ever said, “I’ve done too much work to still feel this fucked up,” this one’s for you.  📱 Follow @QueerRecovery on TikTok, Instagram, and Threads Stop performing. Start living. Even if you still end up at Cheesecake Factory.

Pivot! Pivoooot!

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2471176/open_sms] We’re back with the second episode of QueerRecovery 2.0 — and this is the one where I finally break down what “emotional integration” really is. This episode is for the high-functioning gay or queer man who’s been in therapy, read all the books, bought the crystals, journaled, meal prepped, and still spirals over texts that go unanswered. You’re not broken. You’re just performing your healing. And you’re exhausted. I talk about: * What performative healing looks like (and why it’s so sneaky) * How we use therapy and self-help to intellectualize emotions instead of feel them * Why confidence after therapy fades by Friday night * Why knowing your patterns isn’t the same as changing them * And how I built QueerRecovery from that exact burnout We also get into the trap of chasing external validation, gay gym culture, dating as a people-pleaser, and the difference between having tools and using them. If you feel stuck, spiraling, or like all your growth isn’t translating to how you live — this episode is your mirror. 🎧 Listen now on Apple & Spotify  🗓️ New episodes every Wednesday  📱 Follow @QueerRecovery on TikTok, Instagram, and Threads It’s time to stop performing your healing and start living your life.

I Took a Pill in Ibiza

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2471176/open_sms] After a long (and very human) hiatus, I’m back — and this episode is the raw, reflective, real-ass heart of where QueerRecovery started and where it’s going. I take you through the moment that changed everything: officiating a party-heavy wedding in Ibiza just five months sober, and realizing I didn’t need a sponsor, a step, or a sip to stay grounded in who I was becoming. This episode isn’t just about sobriety — it’s about learning to trust yourself even in the loudest rooms. I talk about what it meant to build my own support system, why I stepped away from AA, and how QueerRecovery was born from that sun-drenched, emotional moment across the world. I also open up about the real reason I paused this podcast: because sobriety was just one piece of what I was actually here to do. That’s where QueerRecovery 2.0 comes in — not just about getting sober, but about becoming whole. I share the new direction of this work: coaching high-achieving gay and queer men who have done all the healing, and still feel like something’s missing. You’ll hear me name what “emotional integration” really means, why perfection isn’t the goal, and how we train people to treat us — then get mad when they do. (Yep. We’re going there.) ⚠️ PS: I’m testing out a new editing platform, so you might hear a few minor audio glitches — it’s part of the vibe. Imperfection is authenticity, babe. 👉 Follow & comment on the podcast  📱 TikTok, Instagram & Threads: @QueerRecovery [https://www.instagram.com/queerrecovery] Let’s get out of our heads — and into our lives.