040 | Childhood Trauma & the Responsibility Trap: Why We Blame Ourselves for Abuse

041 | Can I Trust My Partner? What to Do When They Keep Lying

It’s not uncommon for compassionate people to feel confused or guilty for not trusting a partner or loved one… even after years of lies and hurtful behavior. In this episode, Molly answers a question from someone being told her lack of trust signifies that she has control issues or a spiritual deficit.   Listener Question: “After 8 years of my partner’s repeated lies, he’s recently had a religious experience and claims he will never lie again. The problem is, I still don’t trust him — and now he says my lack of trust is actually a 'control issue' or a spiritual problem. Am I being a terrible partner, or am I right not to trust him?”   In this episode, Molly explains: * Why demanding trust is a red flag and it needs to be built by actions over time. * The difference between bodily wisdom and actual control issues. * How setting boundaries supports healthy change for both partners.   If you’ve ever been made to feel guilty or like you have a character flaw for not trusting someone whose behavior has been consistently problematic, this episode will bring you clarity!   *****   Ask Molly a question at her voicemail box here: https://www.speakpipe.com/AskMolly [https://www.speakpipe.com/AskMolly].   Take Molly’s FREE Boundaries Breakthrough mini-course [https://boundaried.com/breakthrough] to discover which of the 4 most common relationship traps has you in its grip (and how to break free)!   Order Molly's new book: The Great All: A Parable of Hope, New Beginnings, and You [https://www.amazon.com/Great-All-Story-Hope-Beginnings/dp/1684818141].   Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls: follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or leave a review. Remember: Love is the way!

040 | Childhood Trauma & the Responsibility Trap: Why We Blame Ourselves for Abuse

Content Warning: The following episode references an incident of sexual trauma. Listener discretion advised.   In this episode, Molly responds to a courageous question from a listener confused about a "transactional" power dynamic from childhood that has left her wondering: If I participated or "agreed" to my abuse, is it still abuse?   Question: "I’ve been doing childhood trauma work for the last three years, and it’s left me confused. I’m trying to figure out why I can’t figure it out — why my father’s obvious abuse doesn’t feel like abuse because it was transactional."   Molly dives into the neuroscience of the developing brain and how childhood trauma installs false beliefs about our self-worth before we even have the words or framework to understand what we’re experiencing. She explores how having a high responsibility drive can lead us to carry blame that was never ours to bear.   In this episode, Molly explores: * the neuroscience of childhood trauma and the “responsibility trap” * the power dynamics of transactional abuse * survival vs. true choice * how to begin returning blame energetically to where it belongs   Doing childhood trauma work takes guts. It is a radical act of rebellion to decide that you are worthy of healing. If you are ready to stop carrying blame that doesn’t belong to you, this episode is for you.   *****   Ask Molly a question at her voicemail box here: https://www.speakpipe.com/AskMolly [https://www.speakpipe.com/AskMolly].   Enroll in Molly’s popular Boundaries 101 class [https://boundaried.com/101] to learn how to shed responsibility for the things that are not within your power and step into your true boundaries without guilt or apology.   Order Molly's new book: The Great All: A Parable of Hope, New Beginnings, and You [https://www.amazon.com/Great-All-Story-Hope-Beginnings/dp/1684818141].

039 | Stuffing Your Feelings: The Cost of Living in Your Head

In this deep-diving episode, Molly addresses an important question from a listener who has done a ton of personal growth but still struggles with intellectualizing and stuffing feelings.   Listener Question: "I collect mental health tips and self-help books, but I’m realizing it’s just a fancy way of avoiding my feelings. Now that I'm caregiving for my elderly parents, all the feelings I've 'stuffed' are coming back up and I'm turning to food to cope. Help! Any tips you can give me are welcome.”   Molly explores how society — and even many popular healing modalities — rewards us for intellectualizing emotions, "coping" well, and staying productive at the expense of our emotional health.   In this episode, learn: * why intellectualizing feelings can keep us stuck * how our bodies are healthy, wise, and intelligent for sending us alarm signals – even when they’re unpleasant and unwanted in the moment * a practical exercise for transmuting stuffed feelings through gratitude, honor, and invocation * how to transition from head knowledge to heart-centered healing.   *****   Ask Molly a question at her voicemail box here: https://www.speakpipe.com/AskMolly [https://www.speakpipe.com/AskMolly].   Check out the revamped version of Molly’s FREE Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course [https://boundaried.com/breakthrough] and discover which of the 4 toxic relationship traps has you in its grip (and how to break free)!   Order Molly's new book: The Great All: A Parable of Hope, New Beginnings, and You [https://www.amazon.com/Great-All-Story-Hope-Beginnings/dp/1684818141].   Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls: follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or leave a review. Remember: Love is the way!

038 | Permission to Trust Yourself + Boundaries with Adult Children

This week, Molly dives into two tender, complex listener questions: one involving the pressure of outside opinions and another on setting boundaries with an adult child with complex needs.   Question 1: "I’ve never really known myself and find it difficult to set boundaries. I feel pressured to join a community because others say I 'should,' but my gut and even my dreams are screaming 'no.' How can I set boundaries when I don't even know who I am?" — Stephanie   Question 2: "I’m a single mom to a 19-year-old with ADHD, autism, and mental health limitations. My home dynamic feels like an abusive relationship, and logic and reasoning don't work. How do I set boundaries when I can't leave and my child won't cooperate?" — Krissy   In this episode, learn about: * shifting the locus of control * boundaries as self-discovery, as well as pro-relational boundaries * the honor-self/honor-others framework * the "strong one" trap * permission to experiment   *****   Ask Molly a question at her voicemail box here: https://www.speakpipe.com/AskMolly [https://www.speakpipe.com/AskMolly].   Take Molly’s acclaimed Boundaries 101 class [https://boundaried.com/101] to begin your own journey of self-discovery and boundary-setting in complex relationships.   Order Molly's new book: The Great All: A Parable of Hope, New Beginnings, and You [https://www.amazon.com/Great-All-Story-Hope-Beginnings/dp/1684818141].   Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls: follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or leave a review. Remember: Love is the way!

037 | How to Help the World Without Feeling Overwhelmed

Listener Question: "How can I help the world when I feel like nothing I do is enough? It just feels like the problems are too big and I'm just one person. Burying my head in the sand isn't the answer, but I want to." — Feeling Overwhelmed on the East Coast   In this episode, Molly answers a listener question about how to stay compassionate without drowning in hopelessness from all the terrible things happening in our world right now.   Molly breaks down how our desire to help often becomes trapped inside our dominant culture’s mindset, demanding immediate results and perfect outcomes. When we treat compassion like a job to be mastered, our emotional health tanks.    Using the powerful stories of Harriet Tubman and the original creator of Monopoly, Elizabeth Magie (whose original vision for the game was VERY different than the popular version many of us know), Molly illustrates how we can reclaim our heart-centered power by focusing on the unique role we’re supposed to play in this world rather than focusing on trying to fix all the broken systems alone.   In this episode, you’ll learn: * How to spot the “performance rubric” in your own life. * Why releasing the need for a specific outcome is a key to preventing burnout. * How to find your unique calling and trust in the "compassionate revolution."   No need to bury your head in the sand: All you need to do is start moving into heart-centered power, one small action at a time.   *****   Ask Molly a question at her voicemail box here: https://www.speakpipe.com/AskMolly [https://www.speakpipe.com/AskMolly].   Get the Boundaries Breakthrough Mini Course [https://boundaried.com/breakthrough] for FREE – and kickstart your boundaries journey.   Order Molly's new book: The Great All: A Parable of Hope, New Beginnings, and You [https://www.amazon.com/Great-All-Story-Hope-Beginnings/dp/1684818141].   Thanks for listening to We Are the Compassionate Revolution! If you love the show, please help support it (at no cost) so we can reach more compassionate souls: follow or subscribe wherever you listen, rate it five stars, or leave a review. Remember: Love is the way!