The Girl I Created to Survive

Too Dark To Lead

This mid-season finale takes you inside my teenage years, where talent and ambition collided with painful realities. From excelling in school to stepping into the music industry, I faced colorism, body image struggles, and unwanted attention that came with strings attached. I share the highs of being chosen and the lows of being told my complexion could hold me back — even with a voice that could lead. Between my father managing my career like a drill sergeant, the pressures to change my body, and an industry that blurred boundaries, these years shaped how I saw myself and how I learned to perform for love and approval. This is a vulnerable conversation about beauty, worth, and reclaiming my voice — not just in music, but in life.

The Attention Trap

What happens when a girl who was once overlooked finally gets noticed? In this episode, I open up about my early experiences with attention, validation, and how being pursued at 11 years old shaped the woman I became. From being teased for my looks to becoming a "serial dater" in middle school, I unpack how my self-worth became tied to who liked me—and how that pattern followed me into adulthood.

The Girl I Created to Survive

After my parents’ divorce, everything changed. I moved to a new city, started a new school, and carried the weight of rejection, abandonment, and loneliness. At just 10 years old, I stopped eating—not just to be thin, but to feel in control… to feel seen. In this episode, I open up about my early struggle with body image, depression, and the moment I began to reinvent myself.

The Day I Realized I Was Dark-Skinned

At just seven years old, I was called “African booty scratcher” in a classroom full of kids, and the laughter that followed changed how I saw myself forever. In this deeply personal first episode, I take you back to the moment I realized I was a dark-skinned Black girl… and how that one experience shaped my confidence, my self-image, and the inner voice I’d carry for years. From the absence of affirmations at home to comparing myself to other girls, this is the story of how I began to believe I wasn’t enough—and the long road to unlearning that lie. If you’ve ever questioned your beauty, struggled with identity, or are still healing from childhood wounds... this episode is for you.

Welcome to What I Wish I Knew Then

Welcome to What I Wish I Knew Then: Lessons from My Journey. I’m your host, Ebony James, and in this short trailer, I’m sharing the heart behind this podcast. This show is for anyone who’s ever looked back and thought, “If I only knew then what I know now.” Each week, I’ll share raw, personal stories from my life—especially my childhood—and the lessons I’ve learned as a woman still healing, still growing, and still learning to love herself. If you're ready for honest reflection, truth-telling, and soul-deep growth, you’re in the right place. Subscribe now and join me each week as we go back not to stay there, but to heal and move forward together.