The Lost Art Of Apologizing (Ep. 29)

Black & White Thinking (Ep. 33)

Binary (Black-and-White) Thinking: Why We Do It, How It Controls Us, and How to Get Free Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays, discuss binary (black-and-white) thinking and how it shows up in culture, education, media, and clients’ decision-making. Lisa shares reflections from Jane Goodall’s “famous last words” interview, emphasizing that there is no single “right” way to live and that the task is to be yourself. They define ambivalence (having mixed feelings) and cognitive dissonance (stress from holding conflicting beliefs or actions) and connect binary thinking to control, authoritarianism, and white supremacy culture’s “only one right way.” They explore how constant judging fuels anxiety, rumination, and defensiveness, why accepting being “the asshole sometimes” reduces manipulation, and how improv’s “yes, and” rewires rigid thinking toward nuance, paradox, and liberation.

Mental Health In Chaos(Ep. 32)

What If Nothing's Wrong With You? Mental Health In Chaos (Ep. 32) (Episode recorded September 2025) Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays discuss the core question “What if nothing is wrong with you?” in the context of todays societal chaos and fascism, especially in Washington, DC, where ICE activity and arrests are creating fear, restriction, and powerlessness. They note many clients “relapsing” into coping behaviors like food restriction, increased drinking, bingeing, and shopping, framing these as attempts to regain control or soothe, and warn that shame and self-ranking reinforce the very dynamics of white supremacy and fascism. They argue there are often no good options, encourage choosing with agency rather than conforming or rebelling, and emphasize “permission” over perfection, empathy without suffering Olympics, and supportive relationships. 00:00 Welcome and Big Question 00:58 Thunderbolts Movie Takeaways 04:34 Pop Culture and Fascism Jokes 05:26 Unicorn Girl Scam Podcast 10:28 Societal Chaos and Relapse 12:33 Life in DC Right Now 18:00 Control Soothing and Shame 21:11 Suffering Olympics and Empathy 22:39 Resisting In Groups 23:33 Empathy Without Centering 24:40 No Win Dilemma 27:09 Permission Over Perfection 28:50 Activism Without Burnout 30:03 Middle Path Agency 33:45 No Good Options 36:38 Drop The Virtue Tests 39:38 Shame Helps Fascists 41:24 Closing And Reviews

Relationship Propaganda - Heated Rivalry (Ep. 31)

Exploring Relationship Dynamics and the Allure of Heated Rivalry | What If Nothing's Wrong With You Podcast In this episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong With You?' hosts Paula D Atkinson and Lisa K Kays, along with their friend Nnaemeka, dive into the societal conditioning around romantic relationships, discussing the concept of relationship propaganda. They focus on the importance of positive role models such as the show 'Heated Rivalry' and its departure from traditional relationship dynamics dominated by power struggles. The hosts also touch on the universal appeal of male tenderness, the concept of 'corrective emotional experiences' through art, and their views on the fluidity of sexuality. Join them for an enlightening and humorous conversation that questions societal norms and offers new perspectives on human relationships. 00:00 Introduction and Greetings 00:35 Relationship Propaganda and Heated Rivalry 02:19 Chitchat and Quitting Things 06:02 The Power of Music and Art 07:12 Rosalia's Album and Movie Recommendations 12:12 Relationship Propaganda and Heated Rivalry Revisited 28:05 The X-Files and Patriarchal Comedy 28:42 Obsession and Starvation Analogy 30:04 Male Tenderness and Cultural Deprivation 32:25 Therapeutic Insights and Corrective Experiences 38:50 Challenging Straightness and Sexual Categories 42:04 Heated Rivalry and Cultural Impact 44:17 Final Thoughts and Recommendations

Loneliness (Ep. 30)

Exploring Loneliness: Understanding Its Roots and Finding Connection In this episode of 'What, if Nothing is Wrong with You,' hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K Kays, delve into the topic of loneliness. They address the male loneliness epidemic, discuss individual experiences with loneliness, and explore the societal and personal factors that contribute to this issue. The conversation touches on the importance of community, the pitfalls of modern parenting, and the impact of late-stage capitalism and white supremacy on social connection. They also recommend some books, share personal anecdotes, and offer insights into combating loneliness by building relationships with others and with oneself.  00:00 Welcome and Introductions  00:20 Discussing Loneliness  01:01 Book Recommendations  08:02 Therapy Horror Stories  15:11 Loneliness Epidemic  29:15 The Impact of Screens on Children's Social Lives  29:55 Parental Fears and Overprotection  31:55 The Loneliness Epidemic Among Adults  32:22 The Pressure on Parents to Orchestrate Social Interactions  36:42 The Myth of the Perfect Friend Group  37:38 Contradictions in Social Expectations for Married Women  41:53 The Importance of Building Social Skills in Children  42:20 The Role of Community in Non-White Cultures  51:10 The Need for Vulnerability in Friendships  53:47 The Value of Imperfect Relationships  57:47 Final Thoughts on Loneliness and Social Connections

The Lost Art Of Apologizing (Ep. 29)

In this episode of 'What if Nothing's Wrong with You?', hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays dive into the importance of apologies in our lives and therapy. Paula shares vivid details about her recent trip to Iceland, highlighting its outstanding natural beauty, culture, and how it's managed by women. The hosts also discuss why therapists and people in general should apologize more and provide insights into the implications of a good apology. They also talk about the cultural resistance to apologies, especially in a patriarchal and narcissistic society. 00:00 Introduction and Today's Topic  00:44 Iceland Adventures and Observations  02:18 Cultural and Social Insights from Iceland  07:50 Book and Media Recommendations  17:53 Therapy Horror Stories  23:51 The Importance of Apologizing  28:50 The Importance of Apologizing in Therapy  29:36 Therapists and Narcissistic Culture  31:17 Rupture and Repair in Relationships  32:15 A Story of Apology in Couples Therapy  33:29 The Culture of Being Right  35:10 The Power of Apologizing and Vulnerability  37:40 The Role of Apologies in Addressing Harm  38:51 The Impact of Apologies on Relationships  40:29 The Challenges of Apologizing in a Patriarchal Society  49:49 The Importance of Setting Boundaries  57:15 Final Thoughts on Apologies and Boundaries